Diary of Legolas Greenleaf

Tuesday, 13 January-10:12 P.M.
Gah! Borrowed printer from Frodo for business report, but as am inexperienced in extreme wiring, had to call him. Conversation went as following:
Frodo: Hello? Legolas! How are you?
Me: Yes, hi. Erm, your printer, does it have an...... instruction guide?
Frodo: Yes, but I threw it away.
Me: WHAT?!?
Frodo: It seemed self-explanatory.
Me: Yes, well, I am apparently stupid then. Does the flat square- like cable go in the blue-ish socket thing or the square-er-ish gold-like one?
Frodo: What? Let me come over and hook it up for you.
Me: I feel stupid.
Frodo: I could see that.
Me : What's that supposed to mean?
Frodo: Be right over.
*click*

I really do wonder what he meant by that. Must force it out of him, even if it means holding him at arrow point. (Is that grammatically correct?) No matter, must make list of things to do. Never made resolutions so will make them now.

The New Years Resolutions of Legolas Greenleaf!

Stop pestering Pippin to about paying me back from the other night when I paid for his movie ticket. (We saw the new Jackie Chan movie. I was personally unimpressed with the karate performed by his side-kick. Was v. inexperienced. Merry found her wonderful. Figures, as he's Merry. ) Get to work on time, for ONCE! My co-workers are so used to me being late, they have a cup of coffee in the microwave for me to warm up when I get there. Get my friends good Christmas gifts this year. No more $10 gift certificates to Blockbuster. Do laundry. 'Nuff said. Find

11:32
Sorry, Frodo arrived in middle of list. I can't remember what I wanted to find, so never mind. Finally, printer is working. I am v. pissed right now. Frodo connected 4 or so cables and, of course, it beeped, and lit up. I feel stupid now. Must take a course or SOMETHING in order to figure out how to hook things up to my laptop without bringing people from across the city to my apartment just to connect 4 or so cables.

11:33
You know, last year, when Aragorn got his new VCR I hooked it up. He called me and said "Want to try out my new Video thing?" Of course, I went. So anyway, I went and he had me hook it up while he checked the T.V.Guide (not that he was incapable of doing it himself, but he was just being lazy). And I must say, I did a good job. Only had to consult the guide once(see Frodo? Aragorn keeps his booklets). There must be a difference between VCRs and printers.

Wednesday, 14 January- 2:18 P.M.
Stupid Arwen! Of course SHE would remind me of my 5th resolution: Find a she-elf. Everytime! No matter what I do the first thing she says in her stupid voice "How's your lovelife? Still single, Eh?" Ugh! Makes me want to absolutely chase her with my double knives! Technically, I am not living alone, I mean, if count my neurotic cat, Yum-Yum. But if you were to mean I am without a companion, then yes, I am single. But REALLY! Wonder sometimes what Aragorn sees in her, must be something in the water.

3:02
Was once again late for work. Didn't mention earlier because was so ticked at Arwen. Sure enough, there was coffee in the mini-microwave near the water cooler. Really hate that water cooler, when you get something to drink everyone knows, because of the loud noise in emits when you use it. It really sounds like an Orcs war cry. It's so old, and we probably won't get a new one anytime soon, as everyone there is too cheap to buy a replacement. Anyway, Tasha saw me come in and notified me of a meeting around 4:00. I hate business meetings, but if I must. In fact, if I did not go to these meetings, I may send someone to jail, as am a lawyer. Ugh, must go need to review case before meeting. But first let me say I WILL find a way to tick Arwen off. So long!

5:48
Have memorized three Grateful Dead songs due to constant blaring of music from above. I really need to find a different apartment. I could afford a house, but as am not living w/ a room-mate a house would be to large for me. Maybe could move in with Aragorn? But then there is the question of Arwen asking me about my life. Frodo? No, then would wake up every morning to songs about kings long past. Gandalf? Too old, and besides, he's devoted his life to making the children in his neighborhood see him as a old geiser who is morally insane. Must be entertaining, as he's been doing it since the 1960's. Sam, Merry, or Pippin? No, 'nuff said. Gimli is out of question, as I FEAR Mrs. Gimli. She v. menacing. Oh well, I will just continue to be alone, forever, and ever, and ever, and... oh, never mind.