Disclaimer: As Chapter One; so please, for the love of God, do not make me keep writing it out people!
Ghazi is Muslim for Conqueror/ warrior and I thought it an appropriate name for a Sarmatian Warrior's horse. 'a' allaidh soirbheas' is Gaelic for 'the wild fair wind' and I felt that as the Woads were supposed to be north of the wall, then Gaelic could be their language.
Letocetum is now part of Lichfield in Staffordshire, and was occupied mainly around the time of Marcus Aurelius. It had also had a large fort built along the lines of Trojanic/Hadrianic architecture (i.e. Hadrian's Wall) according to the site I found. As a Staffordshire dweller I felt that I should stick to an area I know hence Arthur going there. I will not be calling the city Camelot I will keep it as Letocetum, as I feel that is more legend that reality so it will basically be another fortified village
WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE AND SOME SEXUAL REFERENCES (though not too graphic) SO READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
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Bethan & Lucan
Chapter Four – Secrets
The following day no one could find Bethan anywhere. Most of the knights, including her parents, assumed she had gone riding by herself. Lucan was worried, but was trying very hard not to fret as he had promised her he would.
He found her horse gone, but Gawain's was still there – so he went to seek the knight out. Gawain was with Ysabeau at the Tavern giving her a hand to pack the things they would be taking the next day "You did not go with her?"
"Not today, I did not even realise she had gone – but I do not always go with her Lucan. She probably just wanted one last ride in the forest before we leave on the morrow."
"You are right of course. I am not going to smother her, I am not." He wandered away muttering to himself.
Gawain smiled for a moment, he was trying to be better – this time he really was.
But then the smile faded. It was not like Little Scout to take off these days without telling him, Lucan or Tristan she was going. She knew how Lucan worried and would always ensure he knew somehow.
"Go find her…"
"What?"
"Go find her Gawain. I can see by your face you are worried, and you are the least likely to fuss her. If you are worried, I am about to be frantic for my young friend." Ysabeau kissed him deeply, his arms snaked round her and he hugged her tightly.
"Keep doing that and the only thing I am going to be doing is taking you to bed, my lady!" he smiled lovingly at her.
She laughed and punched him lightly in the shoulder, "Sir, go find your friend! I will keep until later…." She grinned suggestively.
He laughed out loud "Ysabeau?"
"Hmm?" she was already clearing up again in the tavern.
"I love you…."
"and I you. Now go."
"Ysabeau?"
"Aye, Gawain?"
"Do not tell the others. I do not know why, I just have a feeling…."
"I would not….." he kissed her again and walked to the stables.
He saddled his horse and rode out; Arthur spotted him "What is wrong?"
"Naught, I just want to find our Little Scout. You know her Arthur; the Goddess knows what scrap she has got herself into! Anyway we could do with all hands for the move toLetocetum on the morrow!" He grinned.
Arthur nodded "Aye, well – do not be too long as you say, all hands on deck!" he wandered away smiling.
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As he rode through the gate Gawain could not explain why he lied to Arthur. After all he probably would have sent some of the others with him….mayhap that was why he did it? He sighed, all he knew was he had a bad feeling about all this.
He looked into the sky…….and saw in the distance a hawk circling high in the air above the forest; it was keening incessantly.
He kicked his horse and rode fast for the trees, he knew it must be Faith; he was proved right, when moments later the hawk spied him and came quickly to him before wheeling above his head and heading back to where it had come from.
To the young knight it was almost as if she was trying to get him to hurry up. He was about to spur Ghazi, when the horse took off himself almost as if he knew Little Scout needed his rider……
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It took only minutes to get there but eventually he hit the trees, as he rode he could hear a noise. As he got closer he realised it was a female crying.
He dropped from his horse and followed the sound. A few moments later he came to a small clearing; he recognised it as the one where Little Scout had found Faith as a hatchling, and would often come when she wanted some peace and quiet.
She was sat under what she called 'Faith's Tree'; what he saw made his heart lurch. She was sobbing uncontrollably; Bethan, his Little Scout, who never cried much even as a child, was sobbing like a baby.
He stood undecided for a moment, would she even want him there – the few times she had ever cried she hated being seen; except for when her mother had been sick, then she wanted comfort and then it was he and Tristan she had turned to. He decided to risk it…..
"Little Scout?" he called softly, dropping onto the grass beside her "what has happened?"
"I…….I……I cannot tell you ……you will hate me…."
"Bethan….there is naught you could tell me that would ever make me hate you – best friends never hate." he touched her shoulder.
She turned suddenly and buried her head in his chest. He could hear her mumbling "what? I cannot hear you."
"I was pregnant…."
"But that is wonderful! Is it not?" his face was wreathed in smiles, but then it registered that she had said 'was' "you said was, you 'was pregnant'; what has happened?"
"I have lost it….I lost the baby….I had not even told anyone; I was going to go and see Merlin after we had gone South. I did not want to slow down; I did not want to be bossed around; I reasoned with myself that until I was certain I was not responsible - but I knew….I knew…" she began sobbing anew.
"I lost it…and it was my fault….I thought I would be alright…I thought…I thought…but I was wrong….very wrong Gawain…." He hugged her to him.
"Hush, hush…it will be alright…it will." He stroked her wild hair "We all make mistakes Bethan, we all make decisions that are wrong sometimes. The strength of our character comes through in how we deal with the consequences of those decisions. Have you told Lucan?"
She looked up at him with her face all tear stained "How can I? You know what he is like. He would never forgive me, he would know it was the fall yesterday; it is too close to be co-incidence. He already loathes what I do; I would die if I lost him, I would Gawain; he is all the world to me."
"Then it will be our secret; you know I will not tell."
"Thank you Gawain….thank you…I know you must think me awful, evil even."
"Nay….of course I do not think that Bethan. You are my only other best friend next to Galahad, and I would never think that of you.
We allowed you to think you were indestructible as you grew up because, for the most part, you are. But you have others to consider now just remember that, that is all – you are getting older things are changing even for a' allaidh soirbheas…." He smiled at her.
"I wanted this baby Gawain, I really did….." fresh tears sprang to her eyes.
"I understand your grief Bethan, I do." He said quietly.
He said it so heartfelt that she raised her eyes to his with a hurt look "Nay, Gawain! Oh God, when!"
"Last summer; we never told a soul, not even Galahad and Alisia. She had been lifting heavy buckets all day at the tavern, scrubbing the floors, all the usual things she did; much like you yesterday, she was as convinced she would alright.
When she miscarried that night she was devastated and, like you, blamed herself. We grieved quietly together and promised each other it would all be alright….." His words petered out and tears gathered in his eyes.
"Was it? Alright I mean?" she leant on him, wrapping her arms round his waist and resting her head on his chest.
He hugged in return "Aye; we are lucky we love each other so much, I know – but whilst Ysabeau has not got with child since, we are hopeful…."
"I will keep your secret Gawain; thank you for telling me, I am so grateful you trust me so. It does help a little to know I am not alone in this anymore." She sighed.
"Bethan so long as I have breath in my body you will never be alone in this world." He hugged her tightly "you will always have me as your best friend, remember that."
He stood "Come on, let us go to the stream and wash that face of yours; whilst you are still beautiful even with a snotty face, I think awkward questions might be asked!" he smiled as he pulled her up, but was saddened she never bit on the obvious joke.
Bethan followed him silently for a few minutes; Charity, with Faith riding on the saddle pommel, followed on behind. She washed her face and then gave a deep sigh.
As they walked back to their horses she touched his arm "You are a deep man Gawain, I wonder that the others do not see the depth of feeling in you that Ysabeau and I do?"
He shrugged, "I suppose I do not let many see."
"Well, I do and think you are wonderful….and a friend I do not deserve." Fresh tears sprang to her eyes.
"Come now, no more tears. You deserve better than me – but I am grateful you put such stock on my friendship, for it will always be yours. I meant what I said Bethan" he took her face in his hand forcing her to look at him "You will always have me at your side whilst there is breath in my body. My friendship will never waver and never falter." He hugged her tightly and then swung her onto her horse.
She clung to his neck for a moment and then sat high in the saddle "I will always survive then Gawain, for you are the sort of friend that all should have."
They made their way back…..the miscarriage was never spoken of again; both kept their secrets to the grave.
As far as Lucan was concerned Bethan was merely early with her moon blood. Ysabeau was told that she had been grieving leaving a place she loved so dear, and held so many happy memories of.
I know this is a short chapter, but I was getting fed up with her being a bit of a cow (and she was a brat, come on admit it!). So I decided to let something bad happen to her calm her down a bit……at least for a while. I think she will be more Tristan like now. Hope you all liked it…. and no, this is not' it'….worse is to come for her….
