On My Mind
3: Deep Inside Lies...
If only he had noticed the twinkle of mischief in her beautiful eyes he would've been saved. She smiled evilly and squeezed the handle to the water gun nozzle that was pointed towards the dirty dog and his owner. At first the wave of gushing water looked like it was about to only spray the dog clean, but then it spread and almost soaked Kouga.
"Watch it there woman! I'd like to stay dry." He said as he hopped away just in time to save himself from the water's path. She smiled at him but didn't say anything. She sprayed again only getting the dog. The mud started to slide off and slowly the dazzling black coat was able to show through. He ran his hand down the sides of the pooch to try and run the water and mud off. Almost a circle the mud and water dripped around the area of which the dog was standing in.
"Now your done buddy. Go dry off in the corner." Kouga ordered the dog while pointing to the corner where the most sun shone. The dog obediently walked to the spot and lay down just like he was supposed to. Kouga turned away from his dog only to be greeted by a blast of water. He held his hands out in front of his face to try and save himself. Ayame was laughing as she continued to aim the water at him not caring how bad he would get her back.
He saw her huge grin briefly before maneuvering his way off of the deck by jumping over the high walls around it. He ran right at her, soaked from head to toe. She unfortunately didn't see it coming and was surprised when she was pulled against a soaking wet Kouga. A part of her leapt in joy, but the other was screaming from the chill of the water. His breath came from behind against the side of her neck. His arms were wrapped tightly around her waist and she was practically molded against his body. She continued to laugh as her clothing started to absorb the dampness from his.
"Thought you could get away with it did you?" He whispered into her ear in a low tone. It sent shivers up and down her spine and she couldn't help but lean into his embrace.
"Actually, I did for a second." She replied trying to match his tone. He was living part of his dream, having her in his arms without her trying to get away. She accepted his touch with a smile and did not hesitate to lean into him. All he wanted to do was taste her lips and feel the warmth of her bare skin against his. She was the one who made his heart beat, the one who made him look forward to school, the one who made his days bright, the one who gave him all the more reasons to be on this earth. Time was standing still for the two and all either of them could do was stand there and melt into each others warmth.
But Kouga was brought back down to reality when he felt her shiver in his arms. He didn't want to let go but hold her tighter—but he knew better. He was wet and she was getting wet too. With all of his self-discipline he slowly let go of her and let his arms fall down to his sides.
"I think we'd better get you inside or get you a sweatshirt before you freeze." He said with a kindness that no man could match. She nodded and started for the house without looking at him. He followed her quickly after shutting off the hose and returning it to its proper place. When he got back inside the house she had her arms wrapped around herself and was shivering slightly. His eyes were filled with concern and he was afraid that she might get sick. She stood in the kitchen looking around with her back faced to him, as if not being able to look at him.
"You wait here; I'll get you a sweatshirt." He said heading up to his room quickly. He burst through his door with inhuman speed and his blue orbs rapidly searched for the article of clothing he was sent to retrieve. Then he spotted his old brown West 49 sweatshirt that he had gotten a few years back and almost always wore. He snatched it up and made sure it was clean before racing back downstairs to Ayame. She was waiting in his kitchen leaning against the island planted smack dab in the middle of the kitchen. Her attention wasn't on him when he entered, but on the many photos scattered across the refrigerator door. A faint smile was floating across her beautiful lips as her eyes observed each photo with immense attention.
He handed her the sweatshirt that he was currently holding in his hand, which she accepted without tearing her gaze from a certain photo that was holding her attention. He leaned against the island with her and followed her stare to a certain photo that he remembered all-too-well. It was of course of him, since that was the only thing more important than work to his father. He had been very young, one of the first pictures that had ever been taken by his father. His hair was fairly long for a 7-year-old, only it was tied loosely by a white string at the base of his head. His glowing azure eyes bore into the camera as if he were looking back into her eyes. His face was innocent and the bunch of flowers that were being held out to an older woman who was almost identical to him. She had a large smile on her face and her eyes held the same intense hold that kept you staring.
She had long black hair that was tied in two pigtails in a childish way. She had on a white tank top with bits of dirt here and there and a pair of pink plaid Capri pants. She had a beautiful face and a dazzling figure that would make any woman jealous of her. It looked as if he had been caught off guard by the camera while he was in the midst of handing the woman the flowers.
"That was taken by my father almost eleven years ago. Only a few days before she got into the accident." He said calmly as he thought back to the fun they all had that day—when his father wasn't as obsessed with work as he was now.
"That's your mother?" She asked sparing him a glance.
"Yeah, Mira Lee." He closed his eyes for a second and inhaled deeply.
"What happened?" She asked quietly, not wanting to bring up unwanted memories. He hesitated—no one really had been told what had happened to his generous and loving mother, not even his closest friends. He glanced back up at the fridge and looked into his mother's eyes. He trusted Ayame, she should know.
"It was a stormy night and she was coming home one night from her check-up at the doctors. My father and I were watching TV when we started to get worried when she wasn't showing up. He called her cell phone but it just kept ringing and ringing. He sent me to bed soon after and said he was going to call some of their friends. So I went to my room, only I looked out my window, waiting for her to return with that smile of hers to kiss me good night." He began, not taking his eyes off of the picture.
"Then I saw an unfamiliar car pull up in the driveway. It was the sheriff's car so I immediately shot down the stairs when the doorbell rang. My father was out on the deck talking to him loudly over the crashes of thunder. I heard everything. He said that there was an accident and my mother was caught in the middle of it. I pulled the door open and ran to my father's side. He reassured me and then said that we were going to go to the hospital to see her. I was a little shaken but I toughed it out and went with them." Ayame turned away from the fridge and focused all her attention on Kouga.
"When we got there we were ushered by the sheriff to the waiting room just outside of her room. She was in the ER at the moment so we had to wait. I sat on the edge of my seat for an hour and a half without my sight straying from the double doors that she would be coming in from. I kept staring there, waiting for her. But she didn't come, she never came. A doctor came in and spoke softly to my father. I ignored him because he wasn't important to me. He left as quickly as he came, though I didn't notice." He swallowed the lump in his throat that was forming from the unshed tears.
"Then my father turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder. He said as gently as he could, trying to keep my heart from breaking. He said "Son, there's no easy way to say this. Y-your mother was hurt badly and she didn't make it." I stared at him in disbelief—I didn't want to believe him. I remember I got up and started for the doors, tears starting to fall down my face. I shoved the doors open and I don't know how, but I found myself staring into the lifeless, yet so fragile face of my mother. Her face was pale apart from the blood that matted her hairline where the blood had fallen. Her skin was so cold, I remember shivering as I touched her face. I whispered her name and when she didn't answer everything in my world started to shatter before my very eyes."
"I could hear my father calling my name and people calling mine as well. But they were so faint that I didn't acknowledge them. Her eyes were still open, but they weren't the ones I knew. They were grey, lifeless, dead. I told her that I didn't want her to leave. I cried to her, I told her my dreams, my fears, everything that I had wanted to tell her since they came across my mind. I loved her so much that I couldn't bear to see her just drop out of my life like that. I took her marred hand in mine and kissed it. I whispered to her "I'll never leave you mama, you'll be with me always." And then my dad burst in. It was all a blur from the tears that distorted my sight from then on, but her face—her beautiful pale face—it haunts my dreams seeing her like that. It took me a few years of therapy to get rid of the image. I-I-" He couldn't finish it. He hadn't spoken of this until he told his therapist.
Ayame took Kouga's right hand in between the two of hers and looked into his heart-stopping gaze. He looked at her with flecks of sorrow from the memories that were dug up from his past. She gave him a warm smile to try and soothe the pain from the painful memory.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered softly.
"It's okay; I've learned to cope with it." He paused before he let out a soft chuckle. "You know, that day when my dad took that picture, she told me that when she died that she wanted to be reincarnated as a bird. So that she could be free and fly the open skies. So that she could feel the wind against her feathers and see the world from a whole new perspective. Every time I see a bird I think of her and remember her. I look for her in every one, knowing that she just might turn up and find me again."
"That's really beautiful." He laughed gently in hopes to drown the memory away for the time being.
"Yeah, well that was in the past. This is the present—I promised myself to let it go. And I have." He said running his free hand through his hair. "Best not to continue on this topic-" He began but the sharp ringing of the phone interrupted his sentence. He let his hand slip from hers to his dismay and picked up the cordless that waited on his counter.
"Hello? Just a second." He said before handing the phone to Ayame. "Phone's for you." She accepted it and then put the phone to her ear.
"Hello? Oh right! I forgot! Okay, I guess so. Yeah, right now? Bye." She said a little too enthusiastic for her own liking. She hung up the phone and turned to Kouga. "I've got to go home now…I'm really sorry."
"It's okay; I'll just resume my dancing." He joked. She smiled at him and punched him playfully in the arm.
"You do that, see you later." She laughed as she exited his house.
"See you." He almost breathed as he watched her retreat to her house across the street. He had been standing there for almost too long even when she disappeared into her house. Rocco brought him back to his senses when he almost slipped out the front door. Kouga grabbed the dog's collar before he could escape out the door. "You're already clean!"
-:-
Thursday had come quicker than he had anticipated and he was a little nervous. He was supposed to be doing some equations but he was too busy thinking about playing for the people in the cafeteria. He went over the potential songs that he could play, and the songs that he should play. He kept peering up at the clock as he tapped the end on his pencil on the math book that held confusing diagrams on the various pages. He looked at all the hardworking students who were either chatting away or working fiercely on their assigned work. None of them had to worry about performing in front of the school in only five minutes.
He could feel the hyperventilating stage only a few feet away. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the desk. Everything was moving to fast for him and he just wanted to put it all in slow motion. But he didn't have a remote for life and he wasn't writing it either. If he was he would have Ayame by now, and he wasn't about to get in trouble from his math teacher.
"Mr. Lee, have you even started on any of the questions assigned to you?" The plump man asked from his desk. Kouga opened his eyes and looked up from the desk. He was completely lost for words and didn't know what to say to him.
"Uh…would you be upset if I said no?" He tried, giving a nervous smile at the man.
"Mr. Lee would you please get to work, or I will be forced to fail you!" The old man snapped harshly, not needing any students slacking off in his class.
"Yes sir, my deepest apologies." He half-mumbled. He had thought that the old man hadn't heard him—but he was oh so very wrong. The plump man rose from his heightened chair and almost waddled over to Kouga. A look of anger was sketched across his face as he looked up at the teen.
"Mr. Lee, would you like to spend lunch hour with me and my friends?" He asked sternly. Kouga's eyes rose to the clock before back to the old man.
"What friends?" He asked half-mockingly. The man raised his hand to the mathematic equations on the board, an evil smile floating on his lips. "I'm sorry sir, but I've got-" The loud buzz of the intercom rang through the classroom and Ms. So's voice sounded through the speaker.
"Would Kouga and Liam please make their way to the cafeteria to prepare for their performances? Kouga and Liam please, thank you."
"I've got to go, see ya pops." Kouga said grabbing his books and heading out of the class as fast as he could. He could practically see the stubble man jumping up and down from anger, his face twisted into some deformity. But he just laughed, knowing that his counselor had saved his ass. He jogged to his locker and shoved his books away, not caring where exactly they fell. He then headed for the counselors office where his guitar was stored, his beautiful electric guitar that he was close to leaving at home.
He saw Liam—his opponent—heading towards the cafeteria where they were going to meet and do the 'show'. He took his time, dragging his feet towards his destination. When he got there, he saw that there was a tiny stage set up with a mic and a small amp. He grinned that they actually decided to lug one of the better quality ones from the music department.
"Ah Kouga, are you ready to perform?" Ms. So asked, smiling brightly at him while Liam brought out his own guitar and began to play a few strings to make sure it was tuned properly.
"I guess so." He said unenthusiastically as he scratched the back of his head.
"I'm thrilled, now do what you need to do, and then we'll get it out of the way!" She said smiling with her hands clasped before her. Kouga gave her a short smile before choosing any seat and sitting there, going over in his head what to play. But as he tried to think, all he could see was her.
Ayame.
-:-
