Disclaimer: As Chapter One; so please, for the love of God, do not make me keep writing it out people!

Letocetum is now part of Lichfield in Staffordshire, and was occupied mainly around the time of Marcus Aurelius. It had also had a large fort built along the lines of Trojanic/Hadrianic architecture (i.e. Hadrian's Wall) according to the site I found. As a Staffordshire dweller I felt that I should stick to an area I know hence Arthur going there. I will not be calling the city Camelot I will keep it as Letocetum, as I feel that is more legend that reality so it will basically be another fortified village

WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE AND SOME SEXUAL REFERENCES (though not too graphic) SO READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.

All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

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Bethan & Lucan

Chapter Five – Milo

"Where is Befan?" Milo walked up to his father in the stable as he sorted out some of the wagons.

"She will be back soon…."

"Where is Befan?"

"I know not…Gawain has gone to find her."

"Where…."

"Why the sudden urgency to see your sister, eh?" Tristan sighed and sat down on a bale of hay, pulling his young son onto his lap.

"She promised me I could see her whenever I wanted…..but…."

"Milo your sister cannot read your mind…." He thought for a moment "though granted it may seem like she does sometimes…."

"Lucan is too bossy with her….."

Tristan stiffened "Does he make her sad?" he asked mildly.

"Nay Papa, I asked and she grinned and said she was very happy…."

"Well, I might not kill him then….."

"What?"

"Nothing….just something I told your sister once…."

"She is tough is she not Papa?"

"Aye, very; sometimes too much, but I would not change her." He smiled, thinking of her in battle – she was as happy as him to kill and she fought like him too; it felt right, that as his daughter she should be the same on the battlefield.

"I want to be as tough as her when I am older. But now, I like her fighting my battles for me. Gilly does not though; his nose looks funny these days, does it not Papa?" he added thoughtfully.

Tristan buried his face in his son's head to hide his smile; Milo hated you laughing at him unless he knew why. The only one whoever got away with it, and then only occasionally, was his beloved sister.

"Is she alright?" The small boy asked, worried.

"Aye, she has gone riding."

"Why?" He put his head on his father's chest and snuggled up for a tighter hug.

"What?" Tristan drew the boy in closer.

"Why has she gone riding? Today is a busy day, even I have to do chores."

"Milo, Bethan loves it here – many good things have happened to her; it is where she found Faith, met her knights, met Lucan. It is where she and her mother met me and we became a family, it is where you were born - this place, this fort, means much to her and she is sad to leave it. So she probably felt she had to say her goodbyes."

"You make me sad now Papa – I never knew…."

"Well, you know now." He hugged the little boy; who seemed to be mulling something over before speaking.

"Papa?"

"Aye?"

"Why does Befan move her furniture at night with Lucan? In fact why does everyone seem to want to move their furniture at night? It does not make sense."

Silence greeted his questions as his father struggled desperately not to laugh.

"Papa…why? I asked Befan and she said it is just what grown-ups do, that even you and Mama do it most nights she is sure.

I asked why and then she gave me this big dopey grin and said one day she would give me 'the talk'; and that sounded important.

Well, why does she need to give me an important talk 'one day' – why not now? Why is it even important to know about moving furniture? I mean are we not all going to be doing it together today?"

It was too much for Tristan; even the legendary scout only had so much self control and he started howling with laughter.

Milo looked hurt "That was funny? Why was that funny!"

Tristan could only shake his head as tears of laughter ran down his face.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Bethan and Gawain stood at the stable door watching them. Gawain glanced across; she had Charity's head resting on one shoulder, Faith on the other and she was holding his hand - her three best friends. Strange that he should not be surprised that two of them were animals; but then nothing about Little Scout ever surprised him.

Except maybe this morning; seeing her cry, his heart still lurched at the memory, that was so rare and she was so devastated. But they would never speak of it again, he knew that.

Her face was desolate and he was concerned that she would give the game away purely through her grief.

But even as he watched her he saw her do the one thing she got from neither parent, a knack that was all her own. She put the hurt in a little box and packed it away in her heart until she was ready to let it go; at least that was how she explained it to him when Midnight died.

He face immediately brightened and for all the world you would not know what had transpired only an hour before. Well, unless your name was Tristan.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Little man, what in the name of God have you done to our father!" She grinned, watching Tristan laughing helplessly on the hay.

"BEFAN!" He jumped down from his father and ran to her. She scooped him up into a tight embrace and buried her head in neck. Tristan took in her stance, the tight hold she had on her brother….he felt a sudden unease.

"Befan….Befan…I cannot breath!" Milo whispered. She immediately loosened her grip, but would not let him loose. Not that he seemed to mind as he clung to her.

"Papa said you were sad about leaving?" He was not sure, she seemed heart sad and that was not like her.

"Aye, he is right I am…..but" she took a deep breath "That is over now. We must do as Arthur says and look to the future."

"Bethan doing as Arthur says, will wonders never cease?" Laughed Gawain; they shared a look and, this time, she bit.

"Bethan doing what anyone says is a wonder in itself – but mayhap I will try harder…." They all laughed.

She went to her father, knelt in front of him and laid her head in his lap as she had as a child "Your daughter needs a hug Papa."

"Then she shall have one…" He immediately sobered and pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair. His eyes locked with Gawain; a look exchanged between old friends, brothers, one asking another if all was well. Gawain gave a nod.

He sighed, he hated to lie to Tristan – but he had given his word.

Milo was worried; he tugged Gawain away "What is wrong? I know my sister; this is not about leaving the fort."

"Do you trust me?"

"Aye, you are Bethan's favourite; as she trusts you with her life and all her secrets, then so do I."

"Then trust me when I say all will be well."

"You gave your word not to tell?" Milo understood.

"Aye."

"Then I will not pry. But I am upset to see her saddened so."

"As am I; all we can do is be here for her, agreed?"

"Aye." They shook on it. Milo grinned at the knight "You are very kind, I think you will be my best friend too."

"I would be honoured…." Gawain gave a mock bow; he loved the little lad and saw so much of Tristan in him. He imagined this was how the usually silent knight might have been at this age.

Bethan finally released her father; Tristan took in her face and eyes with a quick look. He also knew she would never tell him what was really bothering her. She hugged him once more, kissed his cheek and went to tack down Charity. Milo went trotting after her, telling her all about his conversation with Gawain; she shot the knight a grateful look.

Tristan missed nothing; he went across to his fellow knight "a word?" They wandered outside "Do I need to worry Gawain?"

"Nay, Tristan. Would I let any harm befall her?"

"Nay. But she is deeply saddened and it is more than the move."

Silence greeted the statement.

"I see…you gave your word?"

"Aye…"

"Then I will not pry. Everyone has secrets; she has your friendship and protection - that will suffice."

"It is probably best to not to mention this to anyone else."

"Agreed; I cannot see Sandrina being so accepting of this situation, she would not leave it be until she had it all before her. Bethan will be alright?"

"Aye, I will watch over her for now."

He seized Gawain's arm in a tight shake "Thank you…."

Gawain shook it back "it is naught."

Tristan turned and walked back to the stables "Come Milo, let us get go help your mother."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

He left Bethan alone in the stable. She carried on brushing Charity down; Gawain watched from the stable door as the horse turned and nudged Bethan and then rested her large head on her friend's shoulder; Faith went and perched on the other, gently caressing her ear with her beak. One arm snaked round the horse's neck, the other stroked the bird.

If he had not seen it with his own eyes he would not have believed that these so-called dumb animals were giving her such comfort.

"Gawain?" she called softly over her shoulder as he turned to leave.

"Aye?"

"I…….thank you."

"Any time, my Little Scout, any time." He wiped his eyes, fixed a smile to his face and went to find Ysabeau.

0-0-0-0-0-0

30 minutes later Milo was back "Mama says you are to come as they are clearing your room now."

"It is just as well I have finished then!" she smiled, scooping him into her arms and loading him onto her back.

Faith landed on her shoulder. "Want to go again?" Bethan murmured, holding her arm out for the hawk to move to.

They walked outside and she lifted her arm, the hawk wheeled into the air "be free, be happy!" she called her usual farewell, her way of letting Faith know she loved her. Lucan watched from a distance, Faith always returned to her, even though, every time she flew Bethan set her free.

He listened to brother and sister talk; the soft, loving Bethan shining through – the Bethan he loved so much.

"She loves you a lot…" noted Milo.

"Aye, as I do her."

"And me?"

"Milo I love you more than you will ever know, my brother." He hugged her tightly, whilst trying not to choke her.

"Well, I hope there is still enough for me…." She swung round to see Lucan leaning against the railings. He smiled, but she could see the frantic worry in his eyes.

All he knew was one minute she was looking at him strangely, and the next she was clamped so tightly to him that he and Milo were almost nose to nose.

"I think she has missed us; she greeted me like this when she came back" he whispered. He slid down and ran off shouting "I do not like kissing, and I know you will!"

They stayed like that for a few minutes; her arms wrapped round his neck and him whispering his love in her ear.

"What is it? Will you not tell me?" He asked eventually.

"I…I will miss this place." She closed her heart and eyes against the lie; though only a small one, because she would miss this fort. But she could not, would not, lose him; and telling the truth would bring about her own destruction.

"Gawain found you?"

"Aye, at Faith's tree…"

"Ah, like your mother then…"

"Mama?" she stepped back "is she well?"

"Aye, Tristan found her at Midnight's grave…"

"I still miss that old dog…." Her voice hitched.

"Well, now you come to mention it" He grinned mischievously, and started pulling her back to their room….

"Lucan…Lucan!" He stopped and turned "I love you; with all my heart I love you."

He pulled her roughly to him; she had come back just as she said she would. He would make this work, he would – he could not, would not, lose her for that way lay his own destruction.

They hugged and kissed for some minutes "come" he said breathlessly, breaking free "That can wait until tonight!" She shook her head "Oh!" He blushed scarlet.

"Lucan! You are your father's son!" She laughed, and felt the pain in her heart let go. She would make this work, she would. She would make it up to him, though he would never know.

They ran to their room and he opened the door with a flourish. A large thing hit her in the chest, "Oh my God, it is a wolfhound like Midnight! Lucan, oh Lucan thank you, thank you!" She buried her face into the soft fur of the dog.

"You are pleased then?" He asked as they sat on the floor looking at it.

"Pleased? Pleased is not enough! He is wonderful!"

"He is no pup, he is 6 months – Fabius had a litter of 8 and had wanted to keep them, but they were getting too big and he was going to just leave them; mayhap even kill them.

I could not let him do that; so I said I would take them, and then all the knights said they would have one – well, Ysabeau took one for her and Gawain, she seemed almost sad about it…" Bethan's heart lurched, knowing why "and I laughed and said we would have our own pack then, like your mother used to have! Then Lancelot said it would be a good idea to do that, to help protect the children!"

For once he had felt accepted by her knights, and they had all clapped him on the back and told him it was a good thing he had done. Ysabeau had even kissed his cheek, but he would not tell Bethan that.

She hugged him again "You have a big heart Lucan, a kind one; I am glad and lucky you chose me…"

He pressed his face into her hair. He felt a closeness to her today he had notfelt since they were children; tonight, tonight he would tell her his secret, something he had told no one else – not even his father.

"He is black; that is rare for a wolfhound. I am surprised that Mama did not want him."

"Nay "he lowered his voice "she cried when she saw him, I think that was why she went to the hill."

"Ah - she does not want to leave the fort; she feels she is abandoning him." She sighed "You know when we leave on the morrow; Arthur will want me to scout with Father?"

He sighed too "Aye, I know. I also know that as much as I hate it; when we encounter trouble and we will, as I cannot see us getting all the way to Letocetum without any, that I will have to fight and so will you. But unlike my warrior wife, I take no pleasure from killing." He smiled sadly.

"You could, if you let yourself!" she grinned "Do you know it is almost like a dance? The way you constantly have to keep turning and weaving to ensure no one comes on you from behind or the side? The way you have to spin to put your weight into your swing to take a head…" She sounded so enthusiastic that he had to smile. She was a rare one, and she was all his.

Her voice changed slightly, still enthusiastic but a little harsher "It is good to know too, as you kill them, that that is one less enemy to worry about another time. As Mama once said to Arthur, "The only good enemy is a dead one." She went on to brightly explain more about battles and why she liked to fight.

He realised that they were not so different, they both fought to protect those they loved; the only real difference was her bloody heritage and the fact she embraced killing so wholeheartedly.

Whilst he accepted it, he would never understand that about her; he had long since got to know intimately the loving, caring side of her. She was warm and caring, loved those close to her with all that was in her; just like she lived her life.

But then there was this dark side – this side that killed without compunction and it ….frightened him sometimes, that two such opposite sides could dwell in one person. He wondered if Milo would be the same…..

She suddenly launched herself at him, and smothered him in kisses.

"Have I told you I love you?" She locked eyes with him.

"Only a few times!" he grinned.

"Well, I do and more than you will ever know."

"Well, that is good because I feel the same." They kissed deeply again, leaving each other breathless.

Lancelot appeared at the door grinning "How delighted was she - or do I even need to ask?" He asked Lucan.

"Us spread-eagled on the floor kissing should be a good indicator!" Lucan laughed back, for once at ease with the knights "Yours?"

Lancelot grinned "Let us just say I am on a promise this night!"

"You are always on a promise Lance! I am surprised you two have not got as many kids as Bors!" Bethan laughed, as the other two joined in.

"Well, you will be sleeping on the floor for the last night here, so let us get your furniture moved. With us all at it, it should not take too long." Lancelot was talking as he walked into the room followed moments later by Bors and Gawain.

They two youngsters on the floor fell about, as did Bors and Gawain as the penny dropped. "What is it?" Lancelot asked confused, then it finally dawned on him "Oh, you lot have minds like drains!" He laughed.

"Alright?" Whispered Gawain to Bethan.

"Aye." She squeezed his arm "thank you."

"Did you know we are going to have our own section where we are going? You know, for the knights…" asked Lancelot.

"You will? Will….." Bethan asked, suddenly worried she would be separated from her friends and brothers.

"You will of course…." Said Lancelot "I asked Arthur and he said it would be more than his life was worth to separate you from us….." he grinned. "You will be one of us soon enough anyway."

Lucan smiled stiffly; he would be alright with it, he really would. She kissed him "I could show you some of my more exotic moves, when I am 'better'?" and she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

He laughed and hugged her; aye he would genuinely accept it, for did she not always come back to him now? He was safe in her love….