. . . Side Effects . . .

There was an unknown side effect to handling too much materia. No one had ever handled too much materia to create this side effect in all the studies that all the scientists in both Junon and Midgar had ever produced. No test subject of the human variety to study left this side effect fairly vague too.

If they'd been around after a particularly fruitful round of stealing on Yuffie Kisaragi's part, they would have had all the data they wanted. They would have been smiling behind those big glasses of theirs, scribbling away in their overly large notebooks.

Unfortunately, Cid Highwind had never been, nor would be, a scientist.

Her eyes were oddly wide as she stumbled in front of him, grinning as he stopped in his tracks, spear in hand. She blinked at him a few times before speaking.

"Heya Ciddy," she giggled, "Watcha doooin?" He almost swallowed his cigarette. Just the day before, he'd recalled a certain incident involving her calling him a "wheezing old flyboy fucktard". He still was trying to figure out where she'd picked up the last word.

"What the hell kind of stunt are ya tryin' ta pull?" he replied, staring her down increduously. She was easy to set off, and hard to be forgiven by. Her sweet little girl attitude wasn't going to cut it.

"Why would ya doubt me Ciddy?" she continued, doe-eyed, "I just wanted to say hi to my favorite captain." He definitely swallowed his cigarette now. Was Yuffie...

No. That was just too horrible.

"You're not gettin' any," he replied, and then wanted to clap his hand over his mouth. Or put his foot in it.

"Hehe..." Yuffie giggled, bouncing over so she was close enough to make contact, "Don't want to show me how ya use your... polearm?" She illustrated with some gestures that he hadn't seen since he'd been in the war... he'd be using one of his other spears from then on.

Scientists were great; if they had witnessed the effects of materia on an overexposed teenaged girl, they would have nodded and written their observations down in their huge notebooks.

Cid Highwind, however, reacted like any red blooded self preservationist would. He ran.

Yuffie, eyes glazed and confused, and watched him as his form turned small against the horizon. As he nearly bowled over one of the other team members in his escape. Her hazy mind didn't quite process what had happened as she bent down to pick up his forgotten harpoon.

"I just wanted to learn how to use one a those sharp thingies..." she muttered, and looked around. Another giggle seized her as she spotted someone else.

"Heya Cloud..."


AN: For Sealink. The order? Cid, Yuffie, raunch, polearm, and materia. I hope that it came out as expected and not...