This is for Dru. It's Ed/Hawkeye…I think…kind of…well, it's what came to mind, anyway.

Heh…so…I forgot the disclaimer last time. Shockingly, I still do not own FMA, even without a disclaimer…

Disclaimer: I hereby disclaim…

You Know What They Say…

"My, my, Fullmetal. You're temper is rather short today, isn't it?"

"Who you callin' so short you could crush him with a flyswatter if only you could see him?"

"I never said that, Fullmetal."

Edward ground his teeth together. Roy was in an especially antagonistic mood today.

"You were thinking it."

Roy's only answer was a smirk.

Actually Ed didn't really care how short Roy thought he was. He didn't even really care that he took every opportunity to remind him that he had yet to reach five feet.

But did he have to do it in front of her?

"Colonel, you have other appointments today. I suggest you wrap this up," a demure Hawkeye said unobtrusively from the corner she had been occupying throughout the entire altercation.

"Yes, of course, Hawkeye. I don't have any more time to spend on children."

"WHO'S A KID?" Edward yelled in exasperation, intending to continue but reconsidering when he saw Hawkeye's hand inch toward her gun. She did not like falling behind schedule. He decided to retreat before he lost any more of his dignity. She was probably laughing at him enough already.

Not that he thought he had any chance with Hawkeye whatsoever, but it was really annoying to be taken apart in front of a pretty girl, even if she was aloof and military and…nice to him when no one else was.

Maybe it shouldn't have surprised him, then, when a familiar blonde-haired lieutenant joined him on the steps outside where he was nursing his shattered pride.

"Don't worry about what the Colonel says, Ed. He just likes to get a rise out of people, and you have to admit, you do react in such a spectacular manner sometimes…"

Ed just gave a grunt that conveyed very clearly the lack of consolation he got from that statement and tried not to make eye contact.

Hawkeye sighed. She'd have to make a note to point out to Roy the fragility of young male egos. Not to mention how close Roy's own head really was to the ground. But for now, she had to fix this.

"You know, Ed, it's not so bad to be short."

Another grunt.

"Really, Edward, don't you know what they say about short guys?"

Well, at least she got a questioning glance this time.

"The shorter they are in height, the more they make up for it in…other areas."

Five…four…three…two…one…

As she watched a spectacular blush spread across Edward's features, something mischievous was awakened in Hawkeye.

"Really, Edward, why do you think Havoc's so into Fury?"

Edward really did have the most spectacular reactions sometimes. He must have jumped three, four feet off the ground straight from his sitting position.

Ed took a moment to regain coherency. "Uh, you're joking, right? Hawkeye?"

"Edward, I'm surprised," Hawkeye tossed over her shoulder as she walked away. "You know very well I have no sense of humor."

Edward felt downright cheerful when he realized how much shorter than Roy he really was.

FIN

More requests please! And I'll answer questions and stuff, but I'm not going to answer all reviews…takes too much space.

Dominus: Pictures of Gracia, of course, in varying states of undress!

Dru: So, does this suffice?

Kori hime: Pimp me!

Thanks everyone!