Disclaimer: As chapter one; so please, for the love of God, do not make me keep writing it out people!
According to the internet, Barastyrn is the Sarmatian God of the Earth Powers….very fitting as a name for Tristan's horse, the horse of a scout; and Afsati is the Lord of Noble Animals in Sarmatian theology and so again would be a good name for Milo's horse, considering his families affinity with animals.
WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE AND SOME SEXUAL REFERENCES (though not too graphic) SO READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
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Bethan & Lucan
Chapter Twenty-Two – Bethan& Milo
Bethan closed the door and walked away with Milo "Are you sure you want do this Befan?" he asked concerned.
"Aye little man….I do." She smiled "but your concern is deeply touching."
Milo glanced over his shoulder, as heard his parents speaking, and dodged back to the door "HA!" Bethan heard him say "I knew you lot would get fed up with it sooner or later! I am only surprised it's taken you this long!"
He rolled his eyes at the hysterical laughter from within the room "Mad….all mad, the lot of them!" He mumbled heading back to his sister.
She ruffled his hair "If only you knew, Milo….if only you knew…"
"Knew what? If only I knew what? Befan, tell me!"
"When you are older mayhap…..but not now!" she laughed.
"Oh and there was I hoping to spy on my little sister giving 'the talk'!" Guffawed a voice from behind her.
"Bors! You sly old dog…maybe I should make you do it!" she laughed.
"What is 'the talk', and why would you make it sound like he should not want to do it? Argh! Why do all adults talk in riddles? Ye Gods you could all run rings round Merlin for speaking nonsense!" He stalked off, toting Little Tris with him.
"Bloody hell, it seems the little man is having a little tantrum!" sniggered Bors.
"He is having many lately; I can see I will need to play less the willing sister and more the Kêmtir Mader!" she sighed.
"Comes to us all Little Scout…we all have to play the heavy sometimes… Coming to the tavern? Gawain is there…."
"Nay, I am visiting Lucan's grave…."
Bors eyebrows shot up "You are?" He stepped forward, his face suddenly concerned "Sure that is wise?"
"I have to speak with him Bors…I can no longer go on avoiding him. Gawain has made the same decision about Ysabeau. He took Darry there yesterday."
"Ah, I see….time to be moving on…"
"Nay, not really; but neither can we always be looking backwards" she sighed "I just want to talk to him…."
"Aye, I understand….but listen, Little Scout; do not ignore who is right under your nose alright?"
"I do not understand Bors; what is right under my nose?"
"Not what….who…"
"What?"
"Never mind….but do not think I' a going to let you be forgetting what I am telling you now." And he wandered off.
"But how can I forget what you have not told me! BORS!" She called after him, but he merely waved at her as he headed to the tavern.
At that precise moment in time she understood her brother's frustration; she began to wander to the stables to find him and her son - only to be brought running by Milo shouting…. Bors swung round too…."Knights!"
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Milo had stomped into the stables with his nephew – and was immediately struck how the animals welcomed the small boy. Little Tris struggled down from Milo's arms and wandered around the stables as if greeting each and every animal. Faith and Hope both alighted on his shoulders, and Charity leant over her stable door and nudged him. All the horses were neighing and the knight's dogs gathered round him.
Milo wondered at it; if anyone had told him of what he had just witnessed he would have laughed in their face and called them a liar….but here it was. Little Tris certainly had a way with animals, even more than his sister.
He sighed….he knew she did not mean to tease him, but he disliked the fact that she was a grown-up now; part of their world and not his. That somehow there was this whole other life that affected everyone; but that he, and all other children, were not privy to.
He looked at Little Tris "Well, my little man….what do you think of all this?"
The small boy wandered over and tapped Milo on the cheek "Awww, do not be sad Miwo…." He climbed into his lap.
Milo smiled, Little Tris had many problems saying his name - Miwo was the closest he ever got to the correct one. He hugged the small boy and kissed his cheek. "You are a good boy Little Tris…it is very proud of you I am…"
"Tris-Tris good boy, aye Miwo? Tris-Tris good boy!" Little Tris had long since adopted Darry's name for him.
"Aye, Tris-Tris good boy….very good boy!"
"Like that horsey Miwo? Tris-Tris like that horsey…" he pointed to the new stallion that had arrived for Arthur, since his last had died. It was black and large….and its temper matched.
"Nay, not that one my little man - he is not a nice horsey…." Even Arthur was having trouble mastering the beast, and was wondering about having it destroyed as it was so dangerous.
But the toddler was already running as fast as his little legs would take him towards the horse.
Milo lunged towards the boy shouting "NAY, NAY! TRIS – NAY!"
Seconds later Bethan rounded the doors, with Bors and the other knights in hot pursuit. What they witnessed beggared belief.
Milo was frozen, too scared to approach in case of enraging the large animal, Little Tris was standing on a bale of hay and the black stallion that let no one near it, let alone touch it, was allowing the small boy to caress it's muzzle and coo at it. "Lovely horsey, are you not? Lovely horsey, you are; coochie coo-coo!" The horse tossed its head as if agreeing.
Bethan heard a snigger and turned to see Galahad smirking "You think it is funny that my son is so close to that horse? Even I cannot not approach it!" She glared.
"I am sorry Little Scout, but you know what he is like with animals; I do not believe he is at risk" the other knight apologised.
"Mayhap he is not…..but you cannot be too careful…" Gawain said as he stepped forward to retrieve Little Tris, but Bethan put out a restraining arm "Do not Gawain…I do not want to antagonise the beast. Just call him….he will come to you like no other."
He nodded "Little Tris? Going to come to Papa?"
The small boy looked over and saw Gawain "PAPA!" and came tearing to him "Papa!" Gawain caught him in a fierce hug and swept him into his arms. He hugged him tightly, "Little Tris you scared me half to death!" he said into the boy's hair.
Darry patted his little leg "Tris-Tris silly, that bad horsey!"
"No bad….horsey my friend! Horsey, nice horsey!"
"I am sorry Befan; he was over there before I could stop him…." Muttered Milo.
She ruffled her brother's hair "It is alright, I know what a little devil he can be….."
"Horsey, horsey!" Her son was waving at the stallion who was tossing his head in answer.
"Can I try something?" asked Arthur thoughtfully.
"Nay! You want to use him to get close to the beast….I cannot allow it!" Gawain spoke before Bethan could open her mouth.
"He is right Arthur – it would be foolish….." she added.
"Please Bethan, if the beast attacks anyone, it will be me."
"Alright….but be careful….both of you." She shrugged at Gawain "He is right…Tris will be fine…it is our king who is at risk."
Milo scooped the small boy up before Arthur had a chance and walked purposefully towards the large black stallion. The others held their breath, Bethan was concerned….why on earth had he done it?
The horse flattened his ears against his head and started dancing round his stall. "Nay, nay horsey…..be nice….be nice to Tris-Tris and Miwo!" called the toddler.
The horse immediately stopped - Milo held out his hand and the horse sniffed suspiciously at it. The boy felt around in his pocket and brought out a carrot - he usually had some on him for Charity, Barastyr (his father's horse) and Afsati his own pony. The horse greedily took it from him, before casting a dubious eye over the boy.
"Come" murmured Milo to Arthur "but for God's sake bring food….it seems the way to this devil's heart is through his stomach!"
The knights smirked, Arthur did as he was bid; progress was made. "Why did you do it Milo?" he asked the boy.
"Because Befan spoke true; you are our king and we cannot risk your safety, I am naught - I am expendable." He replied matter of factly.
"I beg to differ; you are a loyal friend, and a wonderful brother…." Arthur said. Milo beamed with pride, more so as Bethan spoke.
"Aye, and I cannot fault you. It was foolish, but also brave what you did Milo. I am very proud of you to put your king first…."
"Not just my king…..also my friend."
"Aye, that too" Arthur patted the boy on the head, he would be happy if his own son grew up like him; which was likely with the way all the knights' children stuck together, with Milo and Bethan at their head.
"But you are not naught, and to me you are not expendable; where would I be without you? I love you so much my little brother!" Bethan hugged him fiercely.
Milo beamed at her "And I you…"
"Can I borrow Tris tomorrow? It seems so long as he is by him the beast is somewhat calmed….." Arthur asked thoughtfully.
"I suppose so; though I do not trust him as yet, but Tris does have a way with animals." She looked out the stables at the sky "I must depart Arthur - call for me in the morning and we will see if we can do something with that dark devil..." she smiled; but there was something in her look.
Arthur touched her arm "Do you fare well?"
"Tired…merely tired" she rubbed a hand over her face "every one is speaking in cryptic messages either about me or to me all of a sudden. I am getting bored with it very quickly; I prefer people just speaking their minds…." She shrugged and smiled "Still, my brothers are good at playing games - I should be used to it by now!"
"You too?" Gawain asked, walking over with Darry in his arms "I have had it for three days now! It is driving me mad; if they keep on, I intend to start knocking heads until I get answers!"
"They will get tired of it if we just ignore them; you know what they are like for their pranks!" Bethan quirked an eyebrow, Gawain winked and then they nodded, grinning; it was as if, to Arthur at least, they had had a conversation……he envied them. They were so like Sandrina and Tristan; but he would have to get the others to give them some space, they could end up forcing them apart instead of together…..
Bethan turned to Milo and Tris "Come my little men, shall we go to the graveyard with Dag and Ilara?"
"We are here…" said a voice from the back. She turned to see Dag raise his arm in greeting, she walked over and kissed his cheek, he briefly embraced her. "The boys wish to come too." He looked a little odd, but when she asked he merely smiled "I am at peace….I have said my goodbyes…." She hugged him tightly.
"I do not know if I can say goodbye Dag…..."
"Then merely say what is in your heart."
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Milo walked along with Rahil and Tanwir, all chatting about Little Tris. Milo looked at the others "why is everyone being so funny with my sister?"
"Do you not know?" Tanwir looked surprised.
"What?"
"I thought you would have worked it out…" Rahil said.
"Do not you start the bloody Merlin riddle game as well…just tell me." Milo was becoming exasperated.
"They wish her to be with Gawain…"
"WHAT!"
"Hush!" Tanwir hissed urgently as the adults looked round. "What is so bad about that? He is nice, our brother liked him much and he is good with Tris, also our sister is good with Darry."
"Aye, but….Lucan…I mean she is only now just coming to terms with his death!"
"It has been a year since he passed….she is a warrior, as is Gawain. They should seize the moment; we none of us know how long we have, especially them – that is what your father and ours believes. Battles shorten lives easily." Rahil spoke solemnly and sadly "Our brother learnt that to his cost."
"We miss him; but we do not wish her to be alone…neither would he. We have talked about this a lot, and we think Lucan would have picked Gawain for her." Tanwir added.
"What of Ysabeau?"
"She too would have chosen Bethan; did she not pick her to be a mother to Daralis over her own sister?" Rahil had obviously given this a lot of thought.
"Aye, but only because her sister has her own 2 children, 3 if you count Galahad when he is being a child - which is most of the time……" Milo pointed out.
"True, but she picked her none the less" the other boy sighed "Milo, we wish them to be together, our fathers wish them to be together. Do you not agree?"
Milo considered it "Hmmm, from what you say the grown ups have been trying for some time… but it does not seem to be working. Perhaps we should have a hand in it?"
"You agree then?"
"Only because I wish her to be happy, and I do like him" he paused for a moment "Aye, I agree."
"A lock in?" Tanwir suggested.
"My sister invented that – she would suspect immediately. Nay, we have to think of another way….more subtle. We are our father's offspring, we can be as sly and cunning as they; with the other knights children we should be able to come up with a plan. We must plan it carefully, and take our time; there is naught to rush for."
"You are best for that Milo. Tristan is your father, he kills with military precision and his scouting abilities are beyond reproach; your sister too, is sly and good at manipulation and you have abilities with nature, as does Little Tris, even more than you.
You are also blood tied to Merlin…with you two and the others we could prevail where the adults have failed." Rahil smiled.
Milo grinned back "it would be nice to beat the adults at aught for a change" He cleared his throat "Then I suggest this afternoon I 'lose' my sister and we have a council meeting of the children of the knights." The adults were completely unaware that their children had set up their own 'round table'…..
All three gripped arms in a gesture similar to their fathers…..little did Bethan and Gawain know that now they really had something to worry about.
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Bethan stood by Lucan's grave, Little Tris in her arms. She heard a horse ride by, glanced back and saw her mother and father ride past; she had Dagonet and Ilara standing with her whilst the boys were all playing.
The older couple stepped back to allow her some privacy, but now she was here she did not know what to say; she decided to speak of what she had been thinking for some time "Lucan….I miss you so much, I wish you had not left me. Little Tris, as we are all now calling him, misses you; though Gawain is being wonderful with him."
She sighed "I do not know what to do without you Lucan, you were my heart. Gawain is the only one who really understands my loss…..though Dagonet and Ilara, especially Ilara, understand it too to a point.
But I know now I am not abandoning you here; because you, the part of you I loved so dearly, no longer resides in this grave but in a better place. If anyone deserved a place in Heaven Lucan, it was you….you were the sweetest, kindest and most gentle man I ever knew. If I could change places with you, I would without question." She sighed once more and knelt low to the ground, her face mere inches above the dirt and whispered "I miss you more than you will ever know my love….they say I should move on, but how can a body move on without it's heart?"
Dagonet and Ilara exchanged a look, they had had no idea her sadness had still run so deep. Bethan continued talking to him as if he were sitting beside her "Little Tris is thriving and adores his 'sister' Darry. They are almost as inseparable as we were Lucan; as is Milo and Suriana, though she is not with him at the moment. I think he is up to something with your brothers!" she smiled.
"Gilly is running the Smithy now with Lynette, he is teaching her about metalwork and I think she will be good at it. It is too much for him to run alone, and she is the owner so he felt she should learn the trade. He misses you and we speak of you often, when we are not fighting!" she laughed "I think I have broken his nose six times now….it is starting to look a little bent in places, yet the rest of the time we get along fine! Funny how things turn out, is it not?
I am getting my wildness back, you taught me life is too short to play by the rules purely because I am an adult now; it may drive Arthur mad, but I love it…. As to Little Tris; Gawain told me you disliked the name Thane, so we are having a naming ceremony for him to call him Tristan. Papa was so proud he cried, not where anyone could see, but I chanced on him outside….he embraced me and he told me I was a good person."
There was a brief pause whilst she composed the sudden rush of tears to her eyes "Of course I am not….if I was, I would have saved you….." her forehead hit the dirt "I wish I could see you – I never got the chance to say goodbye, and that haunts me. Gawain told me what you said…but it is not the same….it is not…"
Suddenly there was a breeze round her; it was different to the others, the ones that told her things…that told her secrets. This one was icy cold, yet at the same time strangely familiar - it smelt musky, a strange metallic odour was there…it reminded her of Lucan. She sat up suddenly and looked around, but could see nothing. Yet the odour remained and she could not shake the feeling that someone, other than those who had accompanied her, was still there.
Suddenly she felt someone at her shoulder and heard a whisper "Be free Bethan, be happy…." She turned instantly, but no one was there - though she could swear it was his voice.
"Lucan? Lucan is that you?" she whispered in return, though she could not really believe it….
"Be free Bethan, be happy….that is all I want for you, my heart." This time she was sure the words breathed into her ear were his.
"Lucan…I need you back. Please Lucan…do not leave me…" she whispered, the air so cold around her now that her breath could be seen making a thin mist before her each time she spoke.
Ilara and Dagonet stood transfixed, they could see the outline of their son with his arms wrapped around the young woman and small boy in front of them; yet it was obvious that whilst Bethan was aware of him, she could not see him.
Tris turned his face upwards towards his father and grinned "Angel Papa….wuv you….wuv you…" he saw his father smile.
"Bethan…I love you…I always will…be happy, be free….be free Bethan…." the voice whispered as it drifted away. Dagonet watched his son's spirit fade away with tears in his eyes; he had said his final goodbye…..the one he had needed to say the most.
Milo could not believe what he had seen; he felt his cheeks were wet and realised he had been crying. His poor, poor sister – he knew without seeing, that she too would be weeping…
Bethan hung her head and wept….wept for all that might have been….all that she had lost. She felt a cool hand caress her cheek, and a final stroke of ice cold lips on hers in a butterfly kiss……
Milo slid to her side and wrapped his arms around her as she wept "Lucan….."
"Befan….Befan I am here….it will be alright my sister…my Kêmtir Mader…he has said his goodbyes…..surely that is a good thing, a good thing he loved you so much he came back to let you say goodbye?
Please, Befan, please do not go back to that dark place. He wants you to live on, do you not see? He wants you to be happy and free - Lucan wants you to take every day and live it!" he pleaded, terrified she would go back to being that other sister – the one with the blank eyes and no fire in her ….the one who nearly went to Heaven and left him; he shuddered, he would not allow it.
He looked to Dagonet, panic in his face "What can I do?"
Dagonet shrugged, tears in his eyes "There is naught to do; she will find her way in her own time Milo…."
No one saw Tris turn to his mother, but they heard a little voice "Mama….Mama, Angel Papa happy now - he is in Heaven, he wait you there. He want you happy here, I see Angel Papa - he smile; he wuv you…wuv me….he good boy."
Bethan hugged the small boy to her fiercely "Aye…..he does…he is…"
"Then let him go sister….let him leave for Heaven….it is cruel to keep him earthbound."
She spun to her brother "Is that what I was doing?"
Milo nodded as Dagonet spoke "It is what we were all doing Bethan; we saw him on the yester day, you saw him this day. He wants us to be happy and free - but he too wants to be free; we must release him, let him go……" he choked on the last words.
A small mist was once again gathering by the grave, Bethan looked at Milo who nodded; she took a deep breath and tried to steady her voice "Go Lucan….go, I will miss you and you will always own part of me; but I will not hold you earthbound."
Dagonet, Ilara and the boys repeated her words, they all heard a soft sigh and the mist thinned before disappearing completely……..he was gone.
She turned and buried her head in her brother's shoulder, sobbing. He patted her consolingly "I will miss him too, but you did right Befan….you did. Shall we walk?"
She looked at Dagonet and Ilara, who nodded. She rose and holding Tris in one arm, with the other wrapped around her brother's shoulders, she left the graveyard. She turned once and looked back at the grave of her husband….it seemed strangely empty for the first time in a year.
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As they walked she turned to him "Milo you are growing into a very wise young man."
"Not really, I am but 10; but I hope to be like you and Papa one day." He blushed.
She tilted his chin to look at her "Nay, Milo…now. You make me proud to call you brother. You, to me, are a little man…..you are too wise and grown up, too good to me, for me to call you a boy or child."
She hesitated before continuing "You know, when Mama was pregnant with you I did not want you" he looked shocked. "I was jealous; I was worried Papa would want you more than me when you were born. But when I saw you for the first time, even if he had loved you more, I could not help but love you so dearly.
You have been a light in my life ever since, I would not know what to do without you, you have never given me cause to doubt you; you have always been a rock in my life. Even as much as Gawain; you are my friend full as much as he."
Milo hugged her "You love him very much."
"Who, Gawain? Aye, aye I do; he has been a good friend to me over the years. Ever since I pushed him over in the training grounds at the fort at the wall, when I thought he was making fun of Papa." She smiled at the memory.
"I see….how old were you?"
"I was…umm…9 I think….maybe 8….and he was… let me think….he was 23; Lord I had forgotten he was 15 years older!" she chuckled "It is quite funny, but it sounds a lot more then does it not? Now I am 19 and he is 34, it does not seem so much!"
Milo made a decision - whatever he was going to do he was going to bring her and Gawain together; he too had heard a voice speaking to him, it had said one word……."Gawain".
He knew what it meant, and he would obey his "brother"; somehow he would find a way.
He looked at his sister "You do know how much I love you Befan?"
"Of course I do Milo….you tell me often. You know I feel the same, do you not?"
He nodded. "You know I would never do you ill?"
"Aye, why?"
"Naught…I just think it is good to tell those we love how we feel sometimes…." He covered.
"Crafty Miwo…crafty!" grinned Tris, and Milo could swear he knew….
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After a while they made their way back to the room and she sat chatting with her little brother about the strange events of the day. Some time later Gawain came in with Darry, who made a beeline for Little Tris, and they talked of what had happened with him.
Gawain told her of the row that Lancelot had had with Amila which ended with him getting a cut lip when he did not duck fast enough to dodge a plate she threw at him. Bors had laughed like a drain whilst pointing out that maybe he should have learnt that knack by now.
All three had laughed "what did they argue about?" asked Milo.
"Moving furniture….." Gawain gave Bethan a knowing look "apparently she has not left him alone about it for three days now, and the poor man is exhausted!"
"Why does she want him to move it for three days? That is cruel!" Milo had a soft spot for Lancelot; he loved the knight's sardonic sense of humour which could always make him laugh.
Bethan thought for a moment "She was like this when she was pregnant with the twins, and then Ehsan - you do not think?"
"I would think it was most likely; she was this temperamental too, if you remember. We all walked on eggshells round her for the 9 months!"
"Poor Lancelot; still, he did want more!" giggled Bethan.
"Why would she want him moving furniture around when she is pregnant? It makes no sense; but then you lot constantly shifting furniture around night and day makes no bloody sense to me anyway!" Milo sighed in exasperation.
Bethan and Gawain roared with laughter, "Milo, I promise you faithfully when you are but a little older than you are now, I will tell you why we grown-ups like to move furniture so much." His sister promised.
"You better; because I am telling you now, the curiosity is killing me!" he grinned.
"We better get the children ready for bed" Gawain commented watching Tris and Darry rubbing their eyes in unison; he grinned "They are almost like twins are they not, despite the gap of 6 months?"
"Aye, it is very funny sometimes!" Bethan looked at the two toddlers adoringly.
Milo tugged Gawain's sleeve "Can I sleep here?"
"Of course, but where?" Gawain asked.
"I will get my mattress; but I would like the little 'uns to sleep with me."
"Are you sure; there will not be a lot of room…" Bethan spoke this time.
"Nay sister, I will fare very well - I love having them with me." He went and fetched his mattress from his room.
As Bethan was getting the children ready for bed, Milo approached Gawain who was watching her. "Why do you not speak?"
"What?" Gawain looked at the boy with a smile "I do speak Milo, a lot!" he laughed.
"Nay….to her." He nodded at his sister "Why do you not speak to her of your feelings? I know you care deeply for her; I cannot understand why you do not speak…."
"Milo I tell Bethan how much I love and value her friendship every day, she does the same for me. Do not worry my little man…. we value what we have greatly." He smiled reassuringly at the young boy.
Milo realised that Gawain truly believed what he was telling him, as did Bethan. They honestly believed their feelings were merely that of deep and abiding friendship. He sighed in frustration, he and the other children were going to have their work cut out for them - but bring them together he would. He had heard what the voice said; what Lucan had said, for he knew deep down it was Lucan who had spoken to him, and he would do as he was bid.
He snuggled down on the mattress with the two children who crept close and bunched his shirt in their little hands. He loved them both dearly and would always protect them, he said as much to Bethan.
"We both know you are very brave Milo, and we never fear for any of the children here, especially these two, when you are with them. You will be a fearsome warrior and an exceptional scout when you are a little older and I for one, am proud to call you brother…" his sister told him as she hugged him and stroked his hair.
"As am I…" added Gawain.
Milo felt his heart swell with pride as his eyelids drooped "I merely wish to be a knight and a scout like you and Papa, Befan. So long as that happens then I will be happy - well, that and marry Suriana…" he tailed off.
Bethan smiled "she loves you as much my brother, and so she should. You are a wonder and I love you dearly…"
"Tell me what to dream Befan…." Milo yawned.
Bethan went through their nightly ritual and told him of their dream; Gawain listened intently, transfixed as usual by her heartfelt rendition of their ideal of freedom.
As her brother drifted into sleep she told him "and to know that we are lucky enough to have family and my knights – my brothers - especially, who would care if we died tonight" she glanced at Gawain, who smiled "You fill my soul with pride and my heart with love Milo; because of you all I have not lost all faith in mankind.…"
He murmured as he dozed "I love you dearly my Kêmtir Mader…..I will help you."
She looked at him quizzically and then grinned at Gawain "Lord knows what he is planning now…."
"Probably just to help with the children, he does love them so….." He looked at her tired face and patted his lap "How was your day? Did you go?"
She nodded as she went and sat in front of him, laying her head in his lap and staring into the fire as told him of her day; of all the things that had happened. Gawain found himself stroking her hair as she alternated between tears and wonder at what had happened at the graveside.
Just then her parents knocked and came in….she smiled at her mother as she sat up "Leave him Mama – we will need to rise early tomorrow anyway if we are going scouting. I will move Darry and Little Tris in with me and give him some more space when we retire. But he insisted on them sleeping with him and I did not have the heart to say nay."
"That boy can wrap you round his little finger!" her mother smiled at her.
"Aye, he can that" Bethan chuckled "but then what sister would I be if he could not? He is my little man and I am his Kêmtir Mader - if he could not, then I would be failing in my duties! But if he is a bad boy, he knows my wrath well enough also!
He is growing so quickly; he is 10 now - I remember him as this tiny little baby! He will be a good scout and warrior; he has the same instinct for killing as Papa and I….." She looked adoringly at the boy in the bed.
Her mother drew her away, and conversed quietly until Tristan interrupted "Come wife, I suggest we go let these two get some sleep also; we have a long day of scouting planned for tomorrow. How went your day daughter?"
"Well, Papa; it went well" she thought of all that had happened "aye, it did. He told me…told me to be happy, to be free. As you did….." She sighed and looked at floor "I miss him still."
"But it is fading and you remember more of the laughter than the tears now?" Her father hugged her.
"Aye."
"Then it is as it should be…" He let her go and went to speak to Gawain briefly.
Bethan watched the two men and her heart swelled with pride; the only other she loved as much as they, was the boy in the bed before her….
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Her parents left and she looked at Milo; her heart resided as much with him as the others. She leant over him and whispered "I will always be there for you Milo; no matter what life has in store for us, or where destiny may pull us, it will never part us I swear that my brother."
She lifted the two small children into the bed with her, Gawain climbed in with her this night and hugged all three "You look like you could do with a hug my friend" he murmured as she grasped his arms and tugged them further round her, she kissed his hands.
"You help me every day Gawain; I thank God you are my friend…." She looked at her brother "You know, you were right."
"I always am……about what?" He grinned into her hair.
She slapped his arm "About Milo - do you remember I told you when he was born that Papa would love him more, that I would be consigned to heal while he would be taught to fight and scout?"
Gawain thought for a moment "Aye; aye I do remember that…"
"You told me that healing would be no bad thing, you asked where Mama and Ilara would be without healers such as Merlin. I bleated about how I wanted to be a warrior and a scout" she smiled at the memory. "Being a healer is better than I thought as you said…."
"I remember Lucan saying he did not want you to fight and you retorted that you would find someone that would train you. You said very proudly as I recall, that you were Woad and Sarmatian and you could do aught!" he chuckled. "I reminded you to have patience and wait; I knew Tristan would not forsake you over Milo.
You told me I gave you good counsel and wished you were more patient like me. Lucan got very jealous; and you went for his throat, you told him that you loved me and I was your best friend in the whole world!" he laughed quietly now "I will never forget the look on his face; he was so jealous. But he loved you deeply Little Scout and all your worries were for naught - you married him and loved him deeply and Milo became your best friend in the whole world."
She shook her head "Nay Gawain that is not strictly so; you were then, are now and always will be the best friend I could ever have in this life or the next. Milo is my brother and I love him deeply, but you are my very best friend…."
He hugged her fiercely "Thank you Bethan I feel the same; but you know what? You are all to him" she felt his head nod towards Milo.
"Aye, I know it; as he is to me. Funny that the one I was most jealous of should become the one I adore most of all" she smiled. "But I also remember that as unlikely as it was, you and I were best friends even then; you made me put my worries about Milo into perspective and I am so glad you did - I would have laid down my life for you then, and I would do the same now…."
"As I would for you; but remember, he will always need his sister, he loves you deeply Bethan."
"As I love him; and always will – I will always be his little mother as well as his sister." Her last sight as sleep claimed her was her brother smiling in his slumber - she knew he was only half asleep and had heard every word.
"Goodnight little man, I love you…." she whispered, and his smile broadened…
