Disclaimer: As chapter one; so please, for the love of God, do not make me keep writing it out people!

a' allaidh soirbheas' is Gaelic for 'the wild fair wind' and I felt that as the Woads were supposed to be north of the wall, then Gaelic could be their language.

WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE AND SOME SEXUAL REFERENCES (though not too graphic) SO READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.

All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Bethan & Lucan

Chapter Twenty-Seven – Brother & Love

He woke in the night and realised she was missing - he immediately panicked; he knew he did not have to…but still…. He went outside and something made him go to the battlements…..

Faith and Hope were flying above her keening quietly, Guido was loping behind the horse; she was riding Charity round in the long grass just outside the gates, no saddle or bridle, her arms outstretched as though she was in flight. The breeze was blowing around her and whipping her hair round her face; she was holding her face up to the moonlight that was shining on her as she rode, her face completely at peace.

The scene below him made him catch his breath….she looked whiter than snow in the moonlight…her shirt being pressed against her breasts and slim waist by the wind; the only indication to her warrior background were the two daggers he could see sticking out the back of her breeches. Then he saw a figure approach her, it was Milo. The boy walked slowly towards his sister who leant down when she saw him and swung him up in front of her.

They rode around in a large circle and she held his arms up outstretched as her own. "Breathe Milo….breathe in the night…take strength from it…." she called quietly to her brother.

Gawain was transfixed as he watched them canter round and round. He became aware of others near him. He glanced round and saw Dagonet, Tristan and Galahad were climbing the stairs.

"Why are you here?" he whispered.

"I do not know…" shrugged Dagonet "I woke up and just got the feeling to come up here."

"This is a side of Bethan we rarely see….the gentle side." Galahad murmured.

"I do not believe that….we all see her gentle side every day; you only have to watch her with the children." Gawain muttered.

"Not like this…." Tristan spoke and Dagonet nodded.

"This Bethan is a rarity….she is at one with nature – this is the Woad in her…." The large knight said.

She held her head up to the rain that gently began to fall, arms still outstretched….. and then it stopped. "We cannot have my sick little brother getting wet can we?" she grinned.

Milo gasped "Does anyone else know you can do that?"

"Nay…Merlin taught me…but no one else need know."

The knights exchanged a look "That means we are not supposed to see, I think." Whispered Galahad.

"Then why did we get the feeling to come?" queried Tristan "More like she does not wish us to know, but something else does…"

"What else can she do?" Asked Dag, looking at Tristan.

"I do not know…I did not know she could do this." He looked calmly at his brother and fellow knight.

"What else can you do?" asked Milo with a smile, not knowing he was echoing his friend stood above them in the darkness.

"This….." she looked at the sky; the temperature dropped and it started to snow…

The knights looked on in wonder "But it is July!" exclaimed Galahad quietly. The snow stopped.

"Can you teach me?"

"Aye, I think so….you are my blood; we can try when you are better. I can do one more thing…." She brought Charity to a halt, closed her eyes and concentrated; out of the forest a deer came, then another…

Milo looked on incredulously as he slid from the horse "Stay there…." She closed her eyes again and the deer came forward to her brother. He held out his hand….and one small wet black nose touched it. He stroked the deer, his face in rapture.

Tristan and Dag felt for the boy, to be able to do that - to reach out to a wild animal….but Tristan most of all. He was another who felt at one with nature, he would have loved to have been down there with them.

Bethan hauled her brother back onto the horse and they once more trotted around before breaking into a canter, the deer returned to the edge of the clearing, and then disappeared.

"Tris is better at that than I….if he had been here he would have had a herd of them around him the minute we came out!" she chuckled.

"Does he come with you?"

"A few times, but he is a bit small…." She grinned at Milo "But you are not…"

They rode round for another 15 minutes arms outstretched once more and bathed in moonlight…..you could almost feel them drinking in the peace and serenity around them.

Milo almost seemed to glow with it…..then Bethan suddenly wrapped her arms around him "We had best you get back my Little Captain, before we are both missed. But we will come again Milo…..your soul needs to feel free….as mine does…..to blow away the cobwebs…" She smiled at him.

"So you do this often?"

"More than anyone knows. Watch……." As they rode back into the fort a thick mist covered them… Dagonet gasped and realised that the few times they had fought the Celts and killed the stragglers – the times when Gawain was badly wounded, then she had taken the blow for Gilly and the other when Lucan was killed – she had been responsible for the mist that had aided them.

"Did you know you could do all this?" Milo asked as they put Charity away and Bethan quickly brushed her down. The hawks settled back in…and for all the world you would not have known there had been aught amiss.

"Not to start with, I thought it was a coincidence; but then Merlin explained my elemental abilities and so I practiced - Mama can do it too, but chooses not to. The wind speaks to me….."

"What does it say?"

"It tells me muchly…" they grinned at each other; they were all using Darry's strange little word. "It tells me you will recover and I will love Gawain and be happy. You will marry Suriana and all will be well….for a time. But there are battles ahead; we must fight to protect our king, our united Briton. But that is not for now, for now there will the odd skirmish, the odd fight."

"But what of peace?"

"There is no such thing Milo…..unfortunately whenever there is any peace in this world; another man will wish to conquer that country which is peaceful, and so war begins again."

"It tells you all that?"

"Aye, if it feels I need to know….sometimes it will not, like when Lucan was going to die. I had no wind to guide me then. Sometimes it tells me ill; as when Ysabeau died and then I would not listen, as I was heartsick at losing my friend." She sighed at the memory.

"I do not feel it…"

"Well, not everything will be the same for you. Come, time to go back to bed my Little Captain…" she swung him onto her back.

"I am not heavy for you?" He asked concerned.

"You will never be too heavy for me to bear Milo; you are my brother and that will always make carrying you a light burden." He hugged her tightly, choked at the love in her voice.

The knights all blinked at the girl's solid devotion to the boy.

"Why did Merlin teach you all this?" he asked as they walked out of the stable.

She stopped "Because he wishes me to succeed him when he dies…"

"Will you?" he was fearful; to succeed their blood would mean her going to live with Woads, as he did most of the time. Gawain stiffened; the other knights listened intently for her answer.

"Nay, I will not. I told him I knew deep in my soul that when both he and Arthur die there will never another like them. Mark me Milo, they will go down in history those two, and his knights of the round table – Gawain, Galahad, Tristan, Dagonet, Bors and Lancelot ….they are giants amongst us. Stories will be told of them and they will be remembered when all we know and see here is naught but dust, including us." She spoke with a fierce pride that brought a lump to the throats of the men listening.

"I am glad only because it means you will not leave me. But I agree with what you say of our knights, Arthur and Merlin, sister…..I believe they are the greatest men this country will ever know, and I am proud to say I not only know them but am related to one of them." He spoke quietly and with great feeling "I am proud to call them friends. Three in particular are the dearest to me…."

"Who? Though I may guess one…" she smiled.

"Aye…one is papa obviously" They grinned at each other, raising a smile to Tristan's lips as well "the other two are Gawain and Dagonet."

"Why they?" They had started walking again and the four knights had to dodge backwards, colliding with Arthur and Lancelot.

"Mind!" hissed Galahad to Lancelot "what are you doing here?"

"We both heard voices and came to investigate…" he hissed back "and mind yourself…"

Arthur punched him "shush!"

Tristan noticed their leader had tears in his eyes; he had obviously heard much of what she had said. But then, as he looked round his fellow knights and brothers, they all did……they did not know the strength of feeling these two had had for them.

"Shh…" Bethan looked round.

"What? I did not hear aught…"

"Go on then, tell me why Gawain and Dag…"

"Gawain because he is a good man and makes you happy….even though you drove us all to distraction with your guilt and pig eyed stubbornness!" She smiled and slapped his hand as he grinned "I know you will be with him now…you will, will you not?" He hesitated.

Gawain held his breath as she replied "Aye; I could not do otherwise….I had come to that decision before your sickness; but that just made me realise even more how much I need him, as well as love him. I loved Lucan deeply and part of me always will, and will miss him too. But Gawain owns my soul; and, to be in truth, has for much time - my head just had to catch up.

He has been a mentor to me when I was younger than you, a friend when I was a little older, a fellow warrior on the battlefield who has saved me more times than I care to count" The knights all looked to him, he grinned and nodded. "And now a soul mate and lover….I have been fortunate that God has smiled so kindly on me, to allow me two such wonderful men in my life."

Gawain's heart lurched at the depth of feeling in her words, and he longed to reach out and hold her.

"I love Gawain as a brother Befan, he will be muchly to me…." He smiled "it would seem that love is not in vain if all you say is true."

"It is not in vain, and I never lie…well, not without good cause, or fear of retribution by a certain ten year old sibling!" She laughed lightly.

"11 soon, another week and I will be 11." She set him on the ground outside her parent's room, they sat on the wooden porch and leant back against the wall "What if we are missed?"

"We will tell them that we could not sleep and came to keep each other company." She smiled.

"Is that not a lie?"

"Nay….it is merely….not telling the whole truth!" she grinned mischievously. "Why Dag?"

"I do not know…it is hard to explain; I feel a connection to him. We have always said have we not that when Mama and Papa die together, and they will one way or the other for they love each other too much not to, that you will be my little mother, my second mother?"

Bethan nodded "Aye, I have told you that ever since you were old enough to talk."

"Then I feel in here" he pointed to his heart "that he will be my second father… I do not know" he sighed "I think Papa would wish it…they have a bond I do not understand."

Dag felt the tears rush to his eyes and he could not stop them. He looked blindly at Tristan and his brother knight nodded "He speaks true, I would not wish it any other way." He said calmly.

"I thought he was closest to Bors…."Milo added.

"Aye his is; Bors is his brother in a lot of ways. But Papa…..well he and Papa are different to the others; quiet, watchful and loyal - loyal without question. Dag told me once that he felt without Arthur they would all have become mercenaries; that he was the only thing keeping them on the side of right.

That he was more than their commander, leader and then king…..that he was their friend and brother and they would kill and be killed for him and each other; because that is what he had taught them, and what they knew he would do for them.

In each other they recognised kindred spirits; Merlin thinks they were brothers in another lifetime. I do not know; all I do know is Papa would do much for Dag. You could not have chosen better my brother, for he too has a special place in my heart."

Dagonet was now leaning back against the wall……the softly spoken words of the girl had undone him, they both had the mark of him. But it had touched him deeply that she had remembered such an insignificant conversation with him so long ago – she could not have been more than about 11 herself at the time; and here she was now 1 month from 20, and she remembered it as if they had only spoken yesterday. It was obvious too his friendship with her father had piqued her curiosity enough to get her asking Merlin his views on it, for Dag knew she held the Shaman in high esteem.

"Was Merlin sad you would not succeed him?"

"Aye, he was muchly…..but he understood, I wish to remain here. With all of you, and the knights…."

"Befan?"

"Hmmm?"

"Will we die in battle?"

The knights all caught their breath; she closed her eyes briefly "Aye some of us will my Little Captain; but some of us will live long lives and be happy. But that is the way of the warrior…..we go to battle knowing we may not return."

"Aye…it is something I understand, but still wish to be a knight."

"There is an art to killing Milo…it is not as bad as Gal says you know; I cannot believe his has never developed a taste for it…" she grinned "I have…"

Galahad glanced at Tristan "She is her father's daughter…" he whispered with a grimace. Tristan's reply was a smile he did not like.

"Come, it is getting chilly and dawn will be here soon; you will have our parents keen to shed the blood of the one who took their boy, and I will have my man in frantic search of me!" she smiled.

"You love him muchly?" Milo grinned.

"Aye…exceedingly muchly" she smiled, then sobered "more than he will ever understand or know; he owns me Milo. He owns me to the deepest reaches of my heart, body and soul. He cannot know that - he cannot understand how my heart sings at the thought of him, and how he throws my senses into kilter at his slightest touch; or how his merest presence gives calmness in the midst of all that rages round me."

Gawain's heart was in his throat and tears in his eyes; she was right, he had no idea she loved him that much or that deeply. Without thinking he said "I love you too, full as much…." and walked forward.

She blinked as she saw him……he bent down and swept her into his arms; he buried his head in her hair "Little Scout" he murmured passionately "oh, my Little Scout…what you do to me…"

"Goodnight sister" grinned Milo "I think he wishes to move some furniture!"

The other knights, even Dag, had to clap their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing.

All made their way back to their rooms except Tristan and Dagonet…..they could not go to theirs without passing the boy. They sat on the ground with their backs against the wall. "She will be the same with him as I am with San." Tristan smiled.

"Aye….he is a lucky man. As I am…..my Ilara loved before, but she loves me best. Gawain is as fortunate…."

"What of Lucan? You do not feel bitter?"

"Nay, Tris….she loved him too and deeply, I know that. As Ilara said she tried her best to change into what he wanted, she would not have done so if she had not loved him very much. Ilara loved her first husband with all her heart and a small part of her still does…Bethan is the same…Lucan was a lucky man, and so is Gawain."

"So is she…."

"Aye, but I think she knows it…"

They heard a door open and close "He has gone in and I am discovered!" smiled Tristan.

"Aye…..I best be back afore Ilara raises Bors in a panic!"

"Brother?"

"Aye?"

"Naught…just trying it out." Tristan got up and walked away.

Dagonet watched his retreating back with a smile. "Brother?"

Tristan turned "What?"

"Naught….just trying it out…" The large knight exchanged a small smile with the scout and they parted.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Gawain kicked open their door…….he could not see the handle as his lips were locked to Bethan's. He nudged it shut with his shoulder; her fingers were wound in his hair and her kisses driving him to the point beyond reason.

Setting her on the ground he drew back, trying to regain control before it was too late; he had waited so long to hear her speak so of him, and he did not wish to ruin it now. His eyes spoke of his uncertainty, his worry that he might be moving too fast for her.

She smiled as she reached up and fondled his cheek; she leant forward, her lips touched his in the gentlest of caresses. She felt him respond and pull her to him; the kiss deepened…. His hand cupped her cheek and the other caressed her neck.

She felt her senses reeling….her whole world tipped into kilter. This man had control of her in ways she doubted he even understood; she felt her arms go round his neck and pull him closer….

He picked her up and carried her to the bed "Point of no return Little Scout…" he spoke hoarsely as he laid her down "I can turn back now, but soon…." The passion and love in his eyes spoke for him.

She merely pulled him down beside her, matching passion and love mirrored in her eyes; her lips locked with his once more as his hands slid over her…..he quickly divested her of her clothes, leaving her in just her under things. She worked feverishly to free him of the few clothes he had donned to go look for her.

His eyes positively glowed as he looked at her "I will never own you Bethan…I do not wish to….how could I own the a' allaidh soirbheas?" he muttered as his lips caressed her face "But I freely admit you own me…down to the very fibre of my being. You are in every breath I take, every beat of my heart…" he mouthed against the skin of her neck.

"You do own me Gawain…..I cannot explain it….but you do….mayhap because you do not wish to. But you too are with me in each breath I take and each beat of my heart…my soul is at peace now because it is twinned with yours…" she groaned as his hands played havoc with her senses.

His lips kissed their way around her body, her under things quickly ending up on the floor with their other clothing. She too tipped his world into kilter with the things she did to his body….and his heart and soul. She owned him full as much as she felt he owned her…..

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Later as they lay entwined and sated, they murmured their love of each other…each knowing that this was the start of something that went deeper than love, and would stretch beyond death.

She touched her forehead to his, gazing deeply into his eyes.

"What?" he smiled.

"Naught…." She smiled back "I am merely kissing your soul." his eyes pooled as he hauled her to him and kissed her deeply.

"Never leave me my Little Scout…" he groaned against her mouth "for I would lose all sense of reason without you."

"Never….never would I leave you……I will follow you Gawain, for all the days of my life and beyond. I will follow you even unto the gates of death; for to be without you is to ask the night to be without the moon, the day to be without the sun." she kissed his eyes and cheeks and finally his lips.

"I worry though Bethan…." he turned slightly so he could not see her face.

"What? What is it? We have never had any secrets have we?" she turned him back to see her "except your wonderful singing abilities!" she tried to lighten his mood.

He rolled his eyes before adding "Nay, nor except your elemental abilities…." He hesitantly ventured.

"You were there!" she gasped.

"Aye, and not the only one either…..your father, Dag and Gal were there also; Arthur and Lancelot came later…." He could not lie to her; he never had really been able to. "I never knew…" he spoke in wonder.

"Does it scare you? Is that what you worry of?" she seemed fearful of his answer.

"Nay! Nay…it is not that! Nay that makes me cherish you all the more; the fact that you are so different - so wild…so free…I love that most about you Bethan….I do…I always have loved that about you.

Always respected and loved the way you have always taken each day and squeezed the life from it. The way you are so passionate and loyal…." He was punctuating the last words with kisses; she felt herself responding once more but pulled back.

"If you persist we will never finish……for I own I cannot resist you Sir Knight!" she smiled at him "What worries you; if you tell me, mayhap I can do aught to change?"

"Nay!" he broke in "I would not change you; I would not - not one thing about you. Bad and good….wild and safe….happy and sad…..angry and calm….loving and hating - I love you as you my Little Scout. Nay…what worries me is that I am 15 years your senior. In 3 weeks you will turn 20 and 1 month later I will be 35…."

"That is not so much - my father is 8 years older than my mother, Lancelot is 10 years older than Amila and Arthur is 12 years older than Guinevere. What care I for age! You are all to me Gawain, I would not care if you were twice that many years older than me!" she burst out indignantly "You are me Gawain; heart, body and soul I am you. Your soul is the other half to mine - I cannot explain and nor would I wish to. All I do is thank God for you each and every day – thank Him that you, and Darry, came into my life; that Little Tris has you, even as he lost Lucan…. he still has a father….I…."

His kisses stopped her words dead as she responded – their bodies joining once more in passion and love; both showing the other how they ruled their worlds…..

Later still, they lay once more entwined – this time it was Bethan who showed worry "Do they hate me? Do they believe me odd?"

"Nay…of course they do not…why would they?"

"Because…they saw….they saw what I could do…I never meant….." she turned from him.

He pulled her back and gazed into her eyes "Bethan they all love you dearly; they do. You and Milo moved Dag and Arthur to tears with your words. Neither man knew you felt so much for them….why then would they hate you?" He sighed "Do you know Lucan was right about one thing he told you, he said that we would pick you over him every time. He was right, we would…..we loved you from the moment we all set eyes on you." he smiled at the memory.

"You were 7, a really little spitfire; you mothered the other children until they were all adopted out. Even then you still looked out for them. As the knights had children you became their protector too….

You would fight Bors' brood….ride, bow, and do sword work as long as you had to to become good. You were a warrior….we never knew how much until you killed that Celt to protect Tristan. How you got him back to the wall I will never know…but you did, and in that moment we loved you forever.

You were loyal….remember how you took on me and Galahad when you thought we were ridiculing him? The day you went out scouting for the first time and he got hurt?" they both smiled at the memory.

"Aye…I still feel bad that I pushed you over; yet you took it in good humour."

"I did because I respected the feelings behind it. It was that day, especially when you brought him back, that I silently pledged my friendship to you….."

"And I to you; you were the one who did not treat me as a child and did not lie to me…."

"The others have always felt the same; they will always love their Little Scout. Not in the same way as I do, thank the Goddess - for I would not want to kill them all to keep you!" he smiled ruefully "but they love you as their own….

I know six men last night who were relieved when they heard you say would not leave us to take Merlin's place, and I was only one of them…."

"I worried…"

"Well, do not….for there is naught to worry you."

He leant forward and touched his forehead to hers.

"What are you doing?" she smiled.

"Just kissing your soul….for mine is in need of a hug too…" he smiled as she wrapped her arms about him. "What you do to me…my knight…what you do…." She murmured against his cheek.

They slept huddled so tightly together, it was as if they were trying to climb inside each other to become one.