Disclaimer: As chapter one; so please, for the love of God, do not make me keep writing it out people!
Poppa is the name Beth gave my Dad and I love it…..hence the reason it's in the story!
White feathers appearing seemingly out of nowhere are meant to signify an angel is close by.
WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE AND SOME SEXUAL REFERENCES (though not too graphic) SO READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
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Bethan & Lucan
Chapter Twenty-Nine – Proposals and Meetings
The months slid by and if anything the love between Gawain and Bethan grew……..soon another six months had passed and Tris was getting anxious.
He was 4 now and Darry 3½, he was keen for his Papa to make Mama and him his forever; he knew it was what his Angel Papa and Darry's Angel Mama wanted, but no one would listen.
He sighed, it was hard being so little….. but then he had his Poppa; well, two Poppas really. The quiet men, he thought of them like that. They were good to him and he loved them dearly; he was glad he knew they would live to be old - he knew a lot that he felt he should not say. The wind spoke to him, and the animals did too. Sometimes Angel Papa and Angel Mama would visit him in his dreams and tell him muchly.
Merlin too, was a help – but even so, getting things done sometimes was hard. He thanked God for Uncle Milo. God had been so good to him to give him and Darry Uncle Milo; he even let them sit at his table now – though he had to keep Darry quiet and that was hard as his sister loved to chat.
But he had a special plan tonight; he wanted to take his Poppas to see his special friends….
He climbed carefully out of bed and shushed Darry; since they had got their own room now, connected to Mama and Papa's by a door, it made it easier to sneak out. She grinned and followed him to the main door.
"Nay Darry, tonight is for the Poppas; I want them to meet my friends…alright?" he smiled and patted her face.
She nodded, yawned and returned to bed. She had met them all already, so did not mind missing the outing; though she did love to be with her brother.
Their pack of dogs immediately roused themselves to follow him, Guido at the head "nay, nay….Guido….you all stay here, you come if'n I need you only." He patted the dog affectionately, and he and the others returned to their owners doors.
He crept into Tristan and San's room - Tristan immediately awoke.
"Little man!" he whispered, with a smile "What are you doing here?"
Tris crept across and patted his face "Poppa come and meet my friends…"
"Now?"
"Aye…important…bring other Poppa…." Tristan knew he meant Dagonet.
He knocked Dag up and they set off after the little boy.
"What is he up to?" Dag asked.
"I know not – wants us to meet his friends…."
"What friends?"
"Do not know; but he says it is important…."
As they passed the stables the horses all whinnied quietly "Hello! Aye, aye, I will see you later…..but not now" the horses immediately quietened down; Tristan and Dagonet exchanged a look "Bet Jols wished he could control them like that" smiled Dag.
They got to the gates and Tris pulled a couple of boards up and slipped through. The two older men were amazed the guards did not notice; but they followed him.
Outside he waited for them to join him. Then he grinned, out of the forest came the animals. The deer and some boar all came out of the trees and surrounded the small boy "Please, pet them; that is why we come…you want this?" he eyed the two men.
"Aye…..I did." Smiled Tristan.
"So did I…." grinned Dag ruffling the boy's hair; they stayed there for an hour and then almost as suddenly as they arrived the animals departed.
The two men looked at the boy quizzically "I sent them home to their babies…. like…." but he stopped and grinned "oops….no one knows yet 'cepting me and Merlin."
The two men smiled at him "you talk in riddles like the shaman, that is true…" said Dag.
On their way back they stopped at the graveyard "Wuv you Angel Papa…" Tris said to Lucan's grave. A gentle breeze blew around him and a white feather fluttered to the ground before the boy "Thank you! Can I have one for Darry, Angel Mama?" as if on cue another fluttered down before him "Thank you…."
The two men with him stood speechless "We can go now….." he wandered away.
"You do not think?" Dag asked his brother.
"Nay, I do not think so….but…." Tristan looked at the sky that was beginning to lighten as dawn approached "I cannot see any doves, and that is the only sort of bird those feathers could have come from…..I…." he shook his head "where that little boy is concerned naught would surprise me anymore."
They made it back to their rooms without being discovered; as the men were about to part from the boy he turned "Would you like to meet them again some times and my other friends?"
"Aye Tris we would; but what other friends?" asked Tristan.
"The blue people like Merlin. They sometimes come and sit with me while I visit my animal friends; they look a bit….." he searched for the right word "stunned" he smiled "but they are very nice…."
Tristan nodded "I see…is Merlin with them?" he was worried that they might try and take the boy, as he knew they held his abilities in high esteem. "Aye, usually….they are his tribe. They would not take or harm me Poppa, they are family too."
"I see…" the scout smiled "we cannot be too careful though; I would hate to lose you my little man, and for your Mama and Papa to start a full out war with the Woads."
"They would not - Mama would know, the wind would tell her; she would come and fetch me!" he laughed.
"He is his mother's son Tris, has an answer for everything!" laughed Dag.
"Aye, brother…." the scout agreed with a smile.
They all parted ways; Dagonet feeling somehow special that he had been included in such a special moment….
As he went to go in Tris heard the triplets start to cry "shush, shush…" he called gently "let your Mama and Papa sleep for a bit…" the crying stopped.
"Goddess if we could bottle that we would be in high demand!" grinned Dag to a retreating Tristan.
"Aye Brother; shame we did not have him when ours were small!"
Back in their room Darry stirred in her bed "Ello Tris-Tris…." She murmured. He laid the little white feather in her hand "From your Angel Mama…." He smiled.
She got up and went with him to the boxes under his bed; when they opened the ones they had each, made for them by Ganis, they each held around 100 small white feathers…….now 101.
0-0-0-0-0-0
In the room next door, Gawain and Bethan had spent most of the night 'moving the furniture' as she had called it all those years ago; it still made Gawain chuckle when she mentioned it.
They lay in a tangle of sweaty limbs, and she finally asked him why he was chuckling "I was just remembering the day that phrase was coined…"
"Who did think it up?" she was intrigued as she smoothed his hair out of his face and kissed his cheek.
He kissed her back "You…well, you and Lancelot…"
"What! Now I am intrigued!" she laughed lightly and he rolled onto his back hauling her close against him as he went.
"Well, you were meant to be going on your first scouting mission with your father, and Lucan wanted to go. You thought you had better go and ask him, but then you saw him carrying your mother to their room.
You told Lucan you could not ask now as they had shut the door, and that mean they would be there for some time. You said" he grinned at the memory "that they sometimes made a lot of noise and Lancelot had told you that they were moving the furniture about! That was how the phrase was coined…you and Lancelot!" he laughed and hugged her to him.
"Good Lord…..and it has lasted all these years!" she laughed with him and snuggled up closer "mind you it is a useful way of talking about things without the younger ones twigging and asking awkward questions!"
"Well, if it is anything like 'the dream' it willl be doing the rounds when we are naught but dust!" he smiled.
"Aye, that one my mother started though; I cannot be blamed for that!"
"They heard the click of the door next to theirs "He has been out again…" sighed Gawain. "Should I go see?"
"Nay, leave him…he is alright; have I not done the same without you knowing?"
"Aye, but you are 20, nearly 21 in fact; and he is only 4…."
"Ah, but he has the pack, the wind and the Woads to help him; he is probably better protected than Arthur!" she chuckled.
He rolled her over until he was hovering above her; she closed her eyes expecting him to kiss her. He smiled at the look of love on her face as she held him close.
"Marry me."
"What!" her eyes flew open.
"You heard me, marry me…" he grinned.
"But….why?"
"Because I want you to be mine completely, and because I love you beyond all reason."
"But I love you the same, and you know I am yours Gawain; with all that is in me, I am yours."
His face dropped "You do not want to marry me…." The statement carried a disappointed tone.
"Gawain it is not that; but you are a pagan, you do not believe in the marriage rites. Under your beliefs we are married already are we not? By joining our households and bedding together as we have" she blushed slightly "we are married."
"Aye that is so…." He reluctantly agreed "but…under your beliefs, we are living in sin."
"My beliefs are that I accept all others; and I know that in the eyes of my God, as well as yours, we are wed. So do not fret so; I am happy Gawain, more than you will know."
He sighed; this had not gone as he had hoped. Still he would not press it now, he would wait – he had waited before, he could wait again.
She could see she had hurt him, then she remembered a charm her mother and father had run. She pressed her forehead against his, and then held his hand against her heart as she did the same to him "my heart beats with your heart – my soul winds with yours, my life force is now your own. We function as one….I will always know you Gawain".
"What was that?"
"A Woad charm; I have now tied my lifeforce to yours for all eternity, even after death.….we will never be separated now, never…you have no need to wed me Gawain….."
He felt strangely compelled to repeat the charm, and did so; she flung her arms round his neck. "I will always be yours Bethan…always. But I still want to marry you….though I will not push. If you decided not, fair enough. But think about it, alright?"
"Alright….." she kissed him and inwardly sighed. She had a lot to think about and a lot to tell him; she also had to talk to someone else first, or rather two someone's.
She wrapped herself in his arms and snuggled up to him; as soon as she knew he was asleep she got up, dressed quietly and crept to the graveyard.
"Are you here?" she asked quietly.
She felt a cold breeze blow round her gently. "I want your…." What? What did she want; their advice or their permission? "Help….I want your help…." She sighed and sat down on the ground.
"I love him, you two and God only know how much I love him……and I am sorry; I am sorry that as much as we both loved you, it was not the same as what we feel between us. But we are together now and I cannot, and would not, give him up.
I do not think he knows how he rules me…..how I miss him when he is not there; how I pray that Arthur sends us together on missions so that I can be with him; just that, be with him.
If he is sent without me ….he does not know how I stand on the battlements looking for him to return, how I listen to every breeze, every call from Faith and Hope to know he is alright and well.
How his touch makes my skin burn, his love makes my heart sing; and his soul calls to mine - he has such a beautiful soul…..you would not think him a warrior; he is so gentle with the children, and me. I know when he is sad or happy, angry or calm. He is bound to me in ways I cannot explain to anyone here; not even Papa….not even Merlin.
I am less than you Ysabeau, in so many ways..…I know I am not as worthy of him as you were. You were good and kind and I loved you like my own.
You were everything I am not: I am wild, you were calm; I am hot tempered, you were placid; I am a killer, you were peaceful. But….but I love him…I love him so much…" she paused. Should she continue? The breeze blew again and so she pressed on.
"He….he has asked me to marry him; I want to……I do….and now I have hurt him by sort of saying nay…" the cold breeze blew hard in her face, almost in exasperation "I know…it was stupid…but there are reasons." She sighed "I…I want to do what is right… I want to know that I will be making him happy for all time, and not just now.
Just for once I want to do what is best for all, and not just me. I want to be the one doing the right thing; I want to know you agree with it, both of you. But especially you, Ysabeau, as he never married you; though I know he would have if you had lived.
I just want a sign, one sign that you are happy for us; both of you….are happy….and I will be content….finally…." she put a hand to her eyes and said the last thing she was worried about……
"And….and I am pregnant…and I have not told him yet." There she had said, said it out loud; at least to those she worried about most, still thought of each and every day, next to Gawain.
She sat there for a few minutes, but there was naught. Even the cold breeze had dropped; then suddenly two small white feathers floated down in front of her……..she held out her hands and they settled gently into them.
She heard a faint tinkling laugh and then a deeper one carried by the chill breeze…..and she knew, she finally accepted, they were happy for them.
A little hand touched her shoulder and then another, larger….she spun round to see Tris standing regarding her with his odd coloured eyes, and Darry holding his hand, and Gawain behind them….Gawain with his eyes full….
She heaved a sigh and stood, facing the two men who ruled her life; the little Woad shaman, for she knew that was what he would be, and the other half to her soul.
"Well?" Said Tris "You have their answer Mama….." he grinned.
She smiled at Tris "Aye I have…." Then she turned her attention to Gawain "How long were you there?"
"Long enough…." He said quietly "More than long enough to hear it all….I am not as heavy a sleeper as you think" He smiled slightly; then sobered "Is that what you really think; that some how you are not worthy of me?"
She would not look at him; he walked to her and tilted her chin to look at his face. Blue eyes regarded green ones "Aye…." She whispered "Aye, that is what I really think."
She stood back from him, his mere closeness confused her and she had much to tell him; needed to tell him "You do not know Gawain, what you do to me….you do not know how I love you. You are like Ysabeau…everything good, that I am not." She hung her head.
He took her by the shoulders and shook her slightly "I love you Bethan…everything about you; your wildness, your temper. If anyone is not worthy, it is me….you…..you are having my baby….I cannot believe it!" He kissed her deeply.
She smiled and leant against him "Gawain, we have been at it like rabbits for over six months; it was almost inevitable!" she grinned "and you are worthy; I love you so much…" she buried her head in his neck as he hauled her to him.
"So….you will marry me?"
"I think you know the answer….." she smiled lovingly at him "I just had to know they agreed…."
Tris tugged Gawain's breeches "Are we yours now?"
"We have been for a long time Tris…." Bethan said.
"Not quite but you will be soon son, you will be soon…" Gawain bent down and gathered the children into his arms "Very, very soon we will be a family in every way -and you and Darry will have a little brother or sister."
"I already knew that Papa, the wind told me…."
Gawain kissed the small boy "Well, maybe you should have told me!" he smiled.
"Nay…that would have spoilt this!" he laughed.
They made their way back to the Fort "How far are you?" Gawain asked, his arm flung around Bethan's shoulders, the children walking hand in hand with them.
"About 2 months; I wanted to make sure all was well, before saying anything."
"A winter baby….." he grinned.
"Aye…a winter baby…." She smiled.
"7 months….we had better get married quickly…" he smiled "Though I do not have a problem with that….."
"How soon?"
"Tomorrow…."
"WHAT!"
"Tomorrow…."
She grinned, remembering another time. "Tomorrow it is then….so long as Arthur agrees."
"We wil go see him now…"
She looked at her right hand "I'll catch you up….." he looked at her hand and smiled.
She went to their room and opened the top drawer of the chest that stood there; she put the two small feathers in the very bottom.
A single tear slid from her eye "Thank you" she whispered. The cold breeze blew, caressed her cheek ……. and was gone.
