Disclaimer: ::laughs:: Do I look like Watsuki? ...hardly, I do not own RK in any way, shape, or form!
A/N: Ok so this chapter is going to be mostly Kaoru in her little dream world, but we all know the close parallels between dreams and reality, don't we? I mean where do we draw the line between the two anyway? So just be aware that I am crazy (but I have mentioned this before).
Megumi went to go visit Kaoru, it wasn't hard to find her. It wasn't like she had moved very far. Even though sitting next to Enishi was one of the more intimidating factors about her visit she still tried to convince Kaoru to go home.
"Kaoru, are you going to come back to us? Kenshin is waiting." Megumi tried to put on her most compassionate face for the girl.
Kaoru looked up at the doctor trying to figure out her intentions, but through the haze it was nearly impossible. "Go away, please." It was the first thing that she had said to any of her friends.
Megumi was taken aback by her very Kenshin-like attitude. And that was all she needed to loose her patients with the raccoon girl in front of her, "Kaoru, think for once in your life! Do you have any idea what you are doing?"
"Leave, please you're disturbing the silence." Kaoru said looking away feeling ashamed of herself, 'why do you even care about me?' she thought, 'I let you all down, why do you keep coming back?' Her stomach churned uncomfortably with her thoughts.
Megumi looked miffed she was about to say something more but Enishi shifted somewhere on one side of Kaoru, his sword was now against his shoulder. He looked up at Megumi conveying the message loud and clear, Megumi was not welcome here. So the doctor backed away looking at her broken friend with the utmost sorrow.
= = =
Megumi's words penetrated only the surface of Kaoru's being as she sat in silence.
It took a while but Kaoru finally fell victim to her exhaustion and slept for the first time in a long time. It was against her better judgment to sleep, but her body screamed for it once again, rarely now did she sleep, in the last few weeks she has slept three times and all by protest of her body...
= = =
Kaoru sat alone under the shade of one of the large sakura trees outside the walls of her dojo, she looked the same as she did in Rakumimura, contemplating and mentally punishing herself for her failure.
"Kaoru." The voice sounded so familiar but it couldn't be... it was impossible. "Kaoru, look at me."
Kaoru felt a fear of what she was going to see. She tried to force herself to keep her vision away from the figure in front of her, but she felt as if a string pulled her head up to face what she feared it would be, her brother.
"Kenji?" She asked meekly
"No, I just look, act, and sound like your brother." He said sarcastically looking down at her.
"Why are you here?" her voice was dark and soulless, very unlike the girl her brother once knew.
"I could ask you the same question." He said wryly.
"Don't get that tone with me." She said looking at him furrowing her brow.
"Now that sounds like my little sister; but this is not the time nor the place for sibling bickering Kaoru, I have come here with a message for you." He said looking serious his black hair swirling around even though there was no wind.
"What message?" Kaoru's tired face looked at her brother questioningly, how far could she trust her brother's specter anyway?
"It would be mean of me to say get up off of your sulking ass..."
"KENJI!!" she said shocked at his joking tone, "How can you talk that way? Especially to me, I'm the reason you're dead, and all that you can say to me is get off my ass!?" She was upset, not mad, upset. "I might as well have wielded the swords that killed you and my child; and you come here to quarrel with me and tell me to stop sulking what kind of message is that?! I couldn't protect the ones I love, is this my punishment to be taunted by my dead brother for all eternity?!"
"Are you done yet?" He asked simply, time wasn't exactly of the essence.
"Yes" she replied sheepishly, noticing how calm he was.
"Good, now I want you to know something, Yes I died, and no it was not your fault, I may have died for you but it was not because of you I died. My little Kaoru I wanted you to live and be happy, and have you done that yet?"
"Kaoru, I know it's hard to hear this but you just need to move on, I want you to be happy, that is why I'm here now."
"I don't deserve to be happy-"
"Stop with your unworthy bit before you completely turn into that husband of yours."
"I resent that." She glared, "So what was your message, it couldn't simply be 'Be Happy' I know you too well to know that is not the reason your specter has come here in my dreams."
"You're right, but I have a question for you first."
She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Just humor me," He said waving off her skeptical look, "What is your reason for living? What is your purpose?" He was looking down at his sister as she pondered over his question.
"I- my purpose?"
"Yes who or what is the one thing you live for?"
She understood what her brother meant. "I can't go back, I have failed them, I have failed everyone."
"What have I told you about that unworthy bit?" he seemed to grow with an ominous power only given to those who have passed on.
"Sorry" she said 'sheesh he's scaryier now than when he was alive and beating me up.'
"I heard that, Now that you have answered my question here is your full message. 'Are you sure that your happiness has been snatched away from you?' My dear sister, are you so sure that you are as lost as you think?" Kenji smiled at her.
"Kenji?" She questioned, he couldn't mean what he was saying. "This isn't just a dream is it?"
"Have I ever made an appearance in your dreams before?" He laughed before he started to fade, "Now go back to your loved ones, they are waiting for you, and your smile..."
The words echoed in her mind for but a moment before she snapped open her eyes.
'If this all weren't so weird...' she thought. Bracing herself against the wall she stood up, 'I haven't done that in a while.' She said as she wobbled, her mind pounding as blood rushed through her body. She stepped awkwardly forward getting used to walking again. She tested her balance before turning to look at the broken Enishi that stared at her with puzzlement.
"I am only going to tell you once," She said glaring at the white haired man before her, "but I think being a younger sibling who has lost their older one..."
He looked at her and furrowed his brow to show his confusion.
"Please listen to me and take this with the utmost seriousness. Tomoe was your sister, the thing is, brother's and sisters, they have only a single wish for their sibling and that is to be happy, as twisted as that message may get along the line that is all they want." She looked down at him, she was surprised that he was still listening, "Tomoe wanted you to be happy, are you going to deny her that wish for you, please live for her, and be happy."
Enishi looked at her blankly as she turned to walk away she thought she heard him whisper something, though she wasn't sure it sounded like, "Thank you."
"Wha-" Kaoru turned around to see him with tears glistening in his eye, no longer was it of frustration or anger, but maybe it was just Kaoru, but it looked like he finally understood something.
Kaoru walked away from Rakumimura leaving a soiled blanket behind with the weight of blame she no longer carried. Rakumimura was a place for those with no reason to live, it took Kaoru a while, but she did have a reason, and it was still there no matter how lost she thought she was before maybe she could find her way back to it. Maybe it was all still there.
She still had a reason to live, and that was all the reason she needed. She looked at the dusty road ahead of her it was long and rugged, but that didn't matter she would take it as it came because at the end of that road she knew she would find the one person that could make her happy. And that was all that mattered now.
To be continued...
A/N: omgs! Another update I must be either insane or maybe I just feel bad for taking so long last time... I think it's the later of the two... but it's a miracle that I got this out only four hours after getting home from a very long weekend.
