A Single Night

Chapter 3

AN: My darling Riku may be able to rest his aching heart finally…(sighs) Who knows…well, you won't unless you read on!

I do not own Kingdom Hearts…If I did, you would never hear from me again. I would be much too busy sitting around in my various piles of money, ordering hot guys to give me a pedicure, while I watched sculptors construct a gold monument of Ansem and Riku doing it in my front yard for all to see…so you can see why I'd have no time to write.

(Wistful sigh) It'll never happen…but it's still a nice mental picture, right? (Grins) I thought as much.

Normal warnings…but if you've read the first two chapters…then I doubt you'd have any problems with this one.


XXX

(Riku)

I stopped running only when my lungs felt like they were on fire and I doubled over panting, my chest heaving from my exertion. My heart pounded in my chest and I leaned against a building, my arm supporting my weakened body.

'I was suffocating in there…it felt as though I was drowning in liquor and nothing could save me from the depths of inebriation…'

I let out a shaky sigh and sank down to the ground, settling my back against the brick wall.

'Something needs to change. I can't do this to myself anymore. It's Goddamn torture.'

I rested against the building, trying to catch my breath and attempting to calm down my over-stimulated brain.

'Heh…you drove me to being a damn drunkard. You heartless bastard…'

I tossed my head back in anger and it struck the wall mercilessly; I would have cried out had I not overheard a name spoken by a man I assumed was standing around the corner of the brick wall.

"—Finally venturing out, Ansem?"

"Needed groceries. Had to happen sooner or later."

I almost broke down when I heard your voice; I wanted to see you so badly…and yet I also felt like the moment I'd lay eyes on you I'd probably jump up and strangle you mercilessly.

"How's life been treating you?"

"Not well, I must admit."

"You know what they say…things always get worse before they get better." I could hear one of your signature sighs of exasperation.

"I am certainly not one to say that."

"…You don't seem like the type anyway."

I relaxed against the wall slightly, letting my strained ears rest.

'Why can't I escape you? You're here in this town…living here, I presume. How long? Why didn't I find you before this?'

Unanswerable questions plagued my thoughts and I had half a mind to jump up and storm up to you, demanding answers.

'Not yet. I have the upper hand…I have the element of surprise.'

With that important element on my side…I formulated a plan to take care of my problems once and for all.

'Ansem, your death will be at my hands. That I can promise you.'

I waited until you had finished shooting the breeze with the man outside the building, and silently followed you at a distance to your home.

In this town you had managed to find another cozy apartment hidden among the city streets. Completely unmarked, completely normal. No wonder I hadn't been aware of your presence or located your hiding place.

I watched you enter your modest abode from the shadows of an alley across the street and in doing that, I felt like such a Goddamn stalker…

'But I now know where you live, Ansem…and I'm going to pay you back for what you did. One way or another…all your machinations are coming back ten-fold, sweetheart.'

XXX

(Ansem)

I shut and locked my door without a second thought. I knew that I could easily deal with any intruders that may present themselves; so securing my door was more habit than actual worry.

I dropped off my meager groceries on the kitchen's black marble countertop, hearing a dull resounding thud in my empty, silent apartment.

'Always so alone…so quiet.'

I gave a less than excited look at the groceries that needed unpacking and instead of putting away the few items, I turned to my bedroom to get undressed.

The plush maroon carpet brushed against my bare feet as I walked to my closet to grab out my favourite silk robe. The deliciously dark fabric clung to my figure like a second skin, and I remembered that you always loved it when I wore this certain robe…

'Riku…everything reminds me of you. Am I really that desperate for you?'

I heaved a sigh and turned to the door to go unpack the groceries when I caught sight of the various picture frames cluttered on the mantle piece on the far side of my room. I drifted over to the fireplace, thoroughly distracted.

'Pictures…captured memories of us together…actually together and in love.'

My fingers reached out and wrapped around the cool black frame of my favourite photo of us. Oh, how that photo brought back memories…it reminded me of much better times.

The picture was in Hollow Bastion, in an airy corner of the library where sunlight filtered in…it contained you, Kiros, and myself…and God, we looked so content and care-free.

'"Ansem! Look at what I found!" You ran up to me like an over-enthusiastic five-year-old, your lips curved up in a bright smile.

"What did you find, darling?" I leaned over, peering at what you had cradled in your hands; I then quickly pulled my face back when I heard a small yip come from the small creature you were holding.

"Look Ansem, I found a puppy! Isn't he just the cutest? …Can we keep him?" I raised an appraising brow at the shaggy, grey and black pup, and it looked right back at me with big, shining sepia-coloured eyes.

"Does he have a collar or identification tags? Where did you find him?" You pointed down the street to a darkened alleyway.

"I don't see any…and he was shivering outside that alley…he was cold and he looks hungry. Hungry, Ansem." You cuddled the pup to your chest and looked up at me with big, hopeful eyes. I sighed, knowing I wouldn't get out of that position easily. What fifteen-year-old could pass up a helpless puppy?

"Well…if he's hungry…I suppose we'll need to feed him." You practically glowed when I relented and you clutched the pup closer to your chest.

"Thank you, Ansem. I appreciate this." You stood on your toes and planted a kiss on the corner of my lips and then laid your cheek on my chest, blushing as I brought my hand up to the small of your back and pulled you close.

"…Anything for you, love." We stood like that for a few moments, silent and consumed by the intimacy of the moment. We were finally brought out of our embrace by the muffled bark of the pup crushed between our bodies. I looked down at the pitiful creature wriggling in your hands. "Shall we take him home now?" You nodded and as we turned away you tucked your free hand into mine, intertwining your slim fingers with mine and tilting your face upwards, giving me a wholehearted, sincere grin.'

My fingers shook ever so slightly as I ran them over the cool pane of glass covering the photo.

'I love you so much, Riku…It's almost painful to breathe sometimes because of the force of my love for you… But how can I tell you that now?'

The fading photograph was of a happier lifestyle…it was taken about a month before I betrayed your trust…at the time when our love was just blossoming and we had discovered the beauty of being together.

'"Ansem, c'mon! I'm waiting you know…" I smiled at your outburst and spent a few more moments fiddling with the camera just to stall and annoy you. "Hey…if you don't hurry up Kiros'll pee on the carpet while he's waiting."

"Then you'll be the one to clean up after him, sweetheart." You stomped your foot and fumed, looking much like a cast-off angel in the glow of the midday sunlight streaming in on you.

"Well we wouldn't have to worry if you'd get that thing set up sometime in the next century."

"All good things come in time, you impatient little brat." I heard an indignant snort come from your direction and I couldn't suppress the small smile that played upon my lips. I finally finished setting up the timer on the camera and rushed over to you, slinging my arm over your shoulder and giving your ticklish ribs a poke to make you smile for the picture.

After the flash you gave me a blistering glare, then let Kiros jump from your arms and you began to run with him out of the library, letting out a mocking laughter.

"That's all you get, old man…unless you can catch me!" I shook my head, the smile still gracing my features.

"You're an insufferable whelp…" I muttered under my breath to the empty room. "But you're mine, nonetheless."'

'But after that…it all went to hell, didn't it? My ornately spun web of deceit unraveled and I was left alone in the impending darkness to debate my own self-loathing. …Left alone with only my memories of you fresh upon my mind, tormenting me.'

Everything was lost to me after my move for power…I lost you, I lost my reputation, I lost my body to the darkness...damn it…I even lost Kiros.

After you disappeared, the poor creature went half-mad pining futilely for you. He would tremble and whine and was so upset that he ran away from me one evening…right into the path of a vicious heartless I could no longer control.

After my mistake…after my defeat, I lost everything.

'And oh, what I wouldn't give to have it all back…'

I attempted to replace the photo on the mantle, but my shaking hands missed and the frame fell to the floor, glass shattering on my bedroom carpet. I stared down at the glass shards, not quite realizing what I had done.

'…Is that a fitting end? The glass shattering just like my happiness? …Broken and unmendable like my heart?'

I let out a shuddering sigh as I knelt down to pick up the scattered pieces.

'Oh Riku…'

XXX

(Riku)

I paced around my apartment, restless. My aqua eyes kept flicking to the night-stand where I kept the wickedly long knife I had proclaimed was strictly for self-defense.

'If I bring out that knife…then tonight…I know I'll come kill you. If I can see that blade, then there will be no stopping myself from picking it up and running to your apartment, giddy at the mere thought of driving the metal in your heart…'

I stopped pacing, a sick feeling curling against my stomach.

'Oh God…Is this blood lust? Am I really so deranged that I crave carving up your beautiful body?'

I settled into the navy plush chair in the corner of the room, crossing my arms over my nauseous stomach and hanging my head, absolutely disgusted with myself.

'Can I really do it? Can I really kill you after all we've been through together?'

There isn't a night that goes by that I don't dream of us together.

Some times I dream of the night you forced me to destroy Sora; but so many times I wake up panting and moaning, my dreams filled with images of us together. Your soft, velvety lips kissing and claiming…my desperate hands digging into the flesh of your back…my soft pale body writhing beneath your darkly tanned, muscular one…your silver cascade of hair spilling over my slender shoulders…my high-pitched breathless voice endlessly begging for 'more'…

'The Goddamn dreams torment me…but how can I possibly end your life…and end those dreams with it?'

They…they're the only things that make me feel alive anymore…

Even though the dreams make me ache with unquenchable lust…can I really force myself to forget just what it was like to be with you? …Can I really do that to myself?

I gave another glance to the closed night-stand drawer.

Summoning up all my will power, I shoved myself up from the cushioned chair and walked to the night-stand on unsteady feet.

'…It's all or nothing, isn't it?'

Without another thought, I wrenched open the door and pulled out the gleaming blade, my mind blanking out and going red and hazy.

I ran out the door, and I'm sure the people littering the streets would consider me to be a madman.

…And I can't blame them.

I looked and felt like a hell-bent madman running into the shadows of the night to pay revenge.

XXX

(Ansem)

'Your thoughts are more confused now then they've ever been. You must be about to pay me a visit.'

I'm not sure just how you discovered my small out-of-the-way apartment again. It seems that no matter where I move away to, no matter how well I think I've hidden myself…you're able to find me. You remind me of one of those hounds that can track down runaways…

'Is that what I've done? Runaway?'

I've become accustomed to running away and hiding, I suppose.

'But I can't hide now…you know where I am. You'll be here before the night is out. I refuse to read your mind now…but I can still sense your emotions…I feel that rage seething below your surface, love.'

I left my front door unlocked to save you the trouble of breaking it down and I padded softly to my bedroom, closing the door after me.

I tugged the heavy, ebony curtains closed, but silver moonlight still flooded into the room from the skylight situated in the center of the ceiling, illuminating my sparsely furnished bedroom.

'I chose this apartment simply for this room. It reminds me so much of my old bedroom in Hollow Bastion…right down to the maroon carpet and dark furniture and bedcovers.'

I sighed as I thought of all the memories we'd created in my dark, sensual lair…

'That was the place we first made love…the place I first told you how much I loved you…the place you'd come looking for me at when you'd awakened from a bad dream. I suppose by claiming this room I'm simply trying to unearth a buried memory…'

I gave a quick glance to the cold, metal clock ticking on the wall next to my dresser and decided to wait for you in the comfort of my bed. I pulled the soft folds of my robe off my body and slid in between the onyx sheets, relaxing against the pillows propped up against the headboard.

'How do I manage to sleep without you? I miss having you at my side the entire night…God, I sound like such a desperate old widow right now.'

I sunk down deeper into the soft mattress, scoffing as a mental image of myself sitting in a rocking-chair knitting popped into my brain.

'Well…I certainly have the hair for it.'

I tugged on a few unruly strands of pale hair for effect; then settled back into the dark silk of my blankets, the soft, silky fabric sliding slowly over my skin.

I woke with a start as I heard a crash in my front room. I knew instantly that the source had been you…that you had kicked down my door.

'Too impatient to even try the knob? …That's my Riku, all right.'

I didn't even have time to sit up before you kicked in my bedroom door, the wooden frame rattling at the force of your blow. Your wide eyes were a wild shade of aqua, and your chest heaved while you panted, looking around desperately for me.

You finally spied me and practically ran to my side. Your empty shaking hand ripped back the sable silk covering me modestly and you moved, poising the wicked knife you wielded right over my flawless chest.

I let out a gentle sigh and tilted my face upward to make my eyes meet yours. "Good evening darling. As you can see, I've been expecting you."

XXX

(Riku)

'This is my chance…this is what I want. I finally have you vulnerable in front of me…I can repay you for all the hell you've put me through, finally.'

You gave me a surprisingly soft, tender look, your orange irises showing no fear at the knife poised a mere heartbeat over your smooth, tanned chest.

"You're mine, Ansem…No matter what you say…your life is now in my hands."

"Riku…if you want to end my life, I won't stop you. You deserve to be the one that destroys my existence, in repentance for all I've done to hurt you, darling." I listened to your gentle, defeated words and my hand shook, trembling at the array of possibilities in front of me.

The sick, twisted madman part of me wanted to see your bed smeared with hot, sticky blood…your chest flayed open with crimson fluid pumping out…wanted to see your legs tangled in ripped, stained sheets and your long, luxurious hair matted with dried gore…

But the other, larger part…refused to let me hurt you. That part of me wanted to curl up beside you, once again touching my lips to your cool, sensitive skin and listen sleepily to those sweet nothings you'd always whisper in my ear.

I weighed both options in my mind…and as much as I desired the chance to rip into your flesh brutally, my heart won out and wouldn't allow me to touch you in such a cruel manner.

"I can't do it." I whispered brokenly, slowly lowering my blade to my side and dropping it weakly to the ground. "Despite all you've done to me…I can't bring pain to you. If I did that…I'd be no better than you."

You gave me a blank, confused stare; your body tensing and displaying the surprise you had at my decision.

"Why? Isn't it what you desire?" You turned your head away, burying your face in your silky pillows; your naked chest still left exposed to the cold, empty night air.

"You think I desire to kill…the only man I've ever loved?" My voice wavered and was unnaturally quiet in your spacious, frigid room…and only after speaking did I realize the cold and shiver as the penetrating night air finally worked through my clothing.

"Those were the feelings in your heart. I could sense them, sweetheart." You mumbled into the pillow and your voice demanded my attention; but all I could concentrate on were the strands of glorious, perfect white hair that fell over your prominent cheekbone.

"It's true. Those were my feelings. But now…seeing you like this…Ansem, I remember everything that happened and I…" I trailed off, feeling my mouth go dry at watching you in such a vulnerable state. I wanted to tell you just how much I loved you, but I'm sure you already could feel the warring emotions in my heart.

You turned to me, an unreadable emotion gracing your delicate features.

"Riku." Your voice was soft, but its simple force commanded me to look into your eyes. "Riku…get in the bed." After hearing that, I bit my lip, directing my gaze at the plush maroon carpet, avoiding the intense look glinting in your eyes.

"Ansem…" I began, my unsure feelings crawling up my throat…But I stopped because I knew there were no more excuses. Nothing I could ever say would stop me from flinging myself in that bed with you. I quickly shed my shirt and trousers, tossing them away and without another thought, I crawled under the heavy blankets beside you.

You immediately placed an arm around me, stroking my pale locks of hair and nuzzling your cheek against mine. I could feel your nude body pressed flush against mine, your skin refreshingly cool and smooth…managing to touch me in all the right places.

Goddamnit…I loved it. I loved you.

"I missed this, you know." You whispered softly, before your pliant lips found mine and claimed them in the darkness. I willingly submitted to you, bringing my fingers up to tangle in you silky hair and tugging your body to move over and cover mine.

You shifted, rolling over and moving your legs so that you were straddling my body with your own. I felt your silky inner thighs move down my hips and I tossed my head back, reveling in the memories your touch reminded me of.

I gave a soft cry as your lips moved to my neck, your tongue pressing against the sensitive skin above my collarbone, your teeth nipping at pale flesh. I ran my hands down your back in a frenzy, craving and aching for more of your touch.

'Is this what I've been missing…?'

"I love you so much…you're in my dreams…you're my only desire." You whispered into my ear softly, pausing between each phrase to press your lips against my jawbone and run your trembling fingers through my short, silver locks of hair. "I never want to lose you again…" I felt your lips travel down my chest, leaving a trail of damp, sticky kisses along my flesh.

"Ansem." Suddenly I felt a sick feeling in my stomach and I moved away from you, putting an arms distance between us. You looked over to me weakly, confusion clouding your exotic eyes.

"What's wrong, darling? …Did my touch displease you?"

"Ansem…you lost me once because of your treachery and lies…and then you lost me again with your deceit…how the hell can you expect me to put all that behind me so easily? …I tried that before and you still broke my heart." I shook my head slowly and crawled out of the bed, my trembling naked body instantly feeling the effects of the frigid room. "I…I can't do this to myself again. I'm sorry but this…it isn't right. I thought that I could make it work…that I could dive in this bed and forget every unpleasant thing that happened between us…but…but I can't. " I chanced a look into your eyes after proclaiming my distrust…and there was such an intense loneliness there. A look of hopeless abandonment that I had only seen once before…

…I had only seen that betrayed look in the eyes of Sora before I had murdered him.

"So are you leaving?" Your voice was barely above a whisper and you directed your pain-filled eyes toward the floor.

"Ansem…I…" I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted so badly for my heart and my mind to agree…to allow me the night in your arms so I'd forget my own choking pangs of loneliness… "I can't be here." I shook my head again, my shoulders hunching in an attempt to keep a straight face and not burst out into a fit of emotion from the painful decision in front of me.

"Riku--"

"I need to leave." I shook my head again and turned away defeated, taking a step toward where my clothes lay in a rumpled heap on the other side of the room.

…I had barely taken that step before I felt your quivering fingers catch my hand.

"Riku…I know I can't take back what I did. That's an impossibility. But if I let you leave…I'll never get even a chance to try and show you how much I hurt without you. And that's too cruel a fate, Riku. I can't live thinking 'what if'…can you, darling?" My heart hammered in my chest as I slowly turned around to face you.

'What if…?'

"Riku…we can talk in the morning…I'll tell you anything you want to know, I promise." You tugged ever so slightly on my hand…and oh, how I ached to topple over on the bed, blissfully trusting your every word…

"Ansem…tell me the truth, for once in your Godforsaken life…Can I…trust your word? Will you tell me what I want to know…is what you say true?"

"…Do you think it is?"

"Why can't you give me a straight answer! I deserve that much, Ansem! I've dealt with your shit for years…why do you continue to think that my heart is strong enough to recover every time you break it?"

"Because hope is all that we have left." You gave a simple, sad smile and without answering, let go of my hand and pulled back the blankets, patting the silky sheets beside you.

'Unanswered questions yet again…oh Ansem, can my love for you be stronger than my hatred…? Can I ever regain my faith in you, Ansem? Can I ever forget what you've done to me…ever forget the hell you've put me through and actually accept you as my lover again…?'

Almost as if sensing my thoughts, you pulled my pale body down beside yours and wrapped a long tanned arm around my waist, whispering:

"In the morning, darling. We'll talk then and see where things go from there."

"…Fine. But it's going to be difficult…I don't forgive people easily. Not even you."

"I'd expect no less from a stubborn ass like you…" You mumbled softly, once again turning your trembling lips to my jaw. "But if you think the morning is going to be so arduous…then let's make this night last as long as we can."

I raised my fingers to your cheek, my fingertips whispering across your soft, warm flesh.

"I…can do that." I sunk down into the pillow, claiming your soft lips with my own and teasing the back of your neck with my fingers…my leg slowly moving between yours.

'…But can I ever forgive you, Ansem? Can our past together ever override the agony you put me through?'

I felt your tongue slide against mine, tasting and claiming me…I'd almost forgotten the feeling of such bliss. I moaned weakly into your mouth, my hands raking desperately down your smooth back as your hips slowly rocked against mine.

I arched my back against you and you moved your pink lips to my navel, kissing gently downward, dredging up memories I hadn't quite forgotten, and whirling me into a smoky haze of lust I hadn't felt in ages.

'I'm not sure if I can ever forgive you, Ansem…but as we all know…a single night like this can change everything…

…So fuck the morning after.'

XXX


AN: Yea…I'm all done. Still can't figure out how a dumb one-shot turned into a chaptered story… XP

Oh well. Writing Ansem/Riku smut always puts me in a good mood, so I don't mind!

Tee-hee…all my inspiration for this chapter came from the picture of Riku I have set as my background.

…Oh yes.

And a few pictures I drew during chem. class…(when I should have been studying) inspired me as well. (Sheepish laughter) …oh well. I think I enjoy my pictures more than learning what a limiting reagent is. (Falls over dead)

Hope ya'll enjoyed…I know I did. I love Ansem/Riku, and there aren't NEAR enough fics about them…so I had to add my own meager contribution! X,x;;

Expect more about them to come from my severely disturbed mind… Although I have no idea why you'd wanna read 'em…

Anyway…thanks for reading! Hearts and hugs for you all!