Disclaimer: I do not and will never own any characters from Naruto. They are the possessions of the creator of the series, Kishimoto-sensei, and Jump magazines. I am merely borrowing them for the sake of having something to write about and because I love the characters very much.
Summary: An introspective look on Naruto's personality and the definition of selfish.
Warnings: Slight adult language. Nothing serious.
Spoilers: None.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: None
Author's notes: Hey all! Miss me? I have been absent from writing for a while now huh? Been very busy. Anyway, here's a sort of monologue from Naruto's point-of-view. I describe how Naruto may think of his peers and himself. If I offend any fans with what I have written, I'm very sorry – I didn't mean to do so. I just want to express how Naruto's personalitycame to be. Or how I thinkit came to be.
I really need to thank my beta-reader, Tomomi-chan, who corrected all the stupid mistakes I made in this fic. Thanks a lot, girl :)
This piece is painfully small. It was a spur of the moment thought, but I like how it turned out. Hopefully you'll enjoy it.
Selfish
Am I selfish?
No, seriously think about it and tell me. Am I really selfish?
I know I want attention with my so-called "antics," but does that mean I am selfish?
For someone who has been neglected for their whole childhood, trying to get some positive attention isn't so bad, is it?
I like Sakura-chan. I admit it. And I get jealous when she pays more attention to Sasuke than me. But that doesn't mean I am really possessive and don't consider Sakura-chan's feelings at all. I know she likes Sasuke-bastard. Maybe even loves him. I don't care what she feels for me. As long as she is happy, I am fine with it—happy even. I can't bear to watch her get hurt or see those shining eyes filled with tears. But is it really selfish of me to think that maybe if she had found me more interesting than Sasuke, if she had paid more attention to me, then I wouldn't have made her cry? That I would make her happy?
I don't think that's selfish. Is it?
Shikamaru calls me an idiot. He says that I am very dumb and that he gets tired whenever he talks to me. But really, he gets tired just trying to sit up, let alone opening his mouth and forming some words. That doesn't make me dumb. That just makes him a lazy-ass couch potato.
Kiba barks a lot. I don't mean as in barking-barking – you know like dogs? No, he doesn't bark like dogs do - like Akamaru. But he still barks a lot. He barks about this and that. He barks when he isn't satisfied. He barks when he is satisfied. He barks just for the sake of barking. And he says that I'm a loud-mouth. Just because I talk louder than him in order to be heard above all that barking doesn't mean I am a loud-mouth. Just because I speak loudly in order to fill up the lonely silence around me doesn't mean I am a loud-mouth. No, it just means that he is so loud that people need to speak over him in order to be heard. And that he barks a lot.
Chouji doesn't say much most of the time. He is a fat-ass, but he is very loyal. I like him. He doesn't act all high and mighty like some others I know. Perhaps that's because he has been on the bad end of the teasing, like I've been. I'm sure people tease him a lot about his weight as they tease me about my uselessness. But Chouji doesn't say much back, while I retort by insulting back. Doesn't mean I'm crude or bad-mannered.
Sasuke – well, nothing can be said about him other than he is an arrogant, egoistical, miserable son-of-a-bitch. Honestly. I don't say this to insult his mother. I'm sure she is the epitome of perfection, with silky hair and a gentle air that would soothe all the worries of a child. I say this because he is a bastard. He acts all high and mighty. He calls himself an avenger. He wants to fight his brother. Wants to take revenge for what's happened to him. Who should I fight? Who should I blame? Who should I avenge? I don't know my parents; at least he can treasure some memories of them. I didn't have any siblings; at least he had some one to look up to when he was young. I don't have a clan to uphold the honor of; at least he is hailed as the heir of the Uchiha lineage. I don't have anyone to blame for my miserable life; at least his brother left him that much of a legacy. So tell me, is it my fault that I'm bitter? Is it my fault that I envy him but still find him the same as me – angry, miserable and alone?
I'm not selfish, I'm not an idiot, I'm not a loud-mouth, I'm not ill-mannered, and I'm not a bastard. I'm just a bitter, lonely, angry, and sad person who acts like that. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be known as the "monster" of the village. I don't want to be known as anything those hateful people with icy glares call me. I want to be known as Naruto. Doesn't matter if Naruto is a loud-mouthed, ill-mannered, idiotic bastard who wants to become the Hokage and be acknowledged.
So tell me, is that selfish?
The End
