I own nothing and it's going to stay that way.

Children of light.

A flash of the brightest hot white light followed quickly by the all too familiar pain. Her hand flies to the side of her head as though she can stop the torment so easily and another flash forces its way into her head. Foreign knowledge and the hi-def images that go with it cram their way into her head and she feels the world around her tip sideways. Strong arms catch her and she opens her eyes long enough to see Angel's face before the pain squeezes them shut again. The third revelation turns her away from him and it's not the pain that keeps her eyes closed. How can she know now, what the powers barged their way into her head to tell her, and look at that man in the eyes?

"Cordy? Are you alright?" Worry tinges his voice and she manages a nod.

"Water." She croaks. "And about a dozen aspirin." She hears footsteps crossing the hotel lobby but she's still wrapped in his arms. Wesley, she guessed; he must've been coming in just as it hit me. The footsteps return and she opens her eyes again to take the glass and far too few pills.

"What was it? Something bad?" She shakes her head. How to say this? A year ago she would have just yelled it out in shock and disbelief. But now… she felt there was something more to be considered. She forced herself to look at him but her acting skills failed her and he read something in her face.

"That bad?"

"No. It's just that…" She looked back and forth between the two men and then down at the floor. "Maybe we should talk later. Give me some time to think about this one." The men look at each other. They know it's not often I go all cryptic, she thought; they know something's up. The vampire and the ex-watcher finished their silent consultation and Angel took the lead.

"Okay. Let me help you up to my room."

"No!" She took a breath to steady herself before speaking again. One look in his eyes told her he wasn't going to let her go home until he was sure she was fine. Still, there was No Way she was ready to be alone with him yet. Not after… "No. I'll be okay. But I will go get cleaned up." She managed to say it much softer and the guys exchanged another worried look. Ignoring them she pulled herself to her feet using their shoulders as leverage. She was halfway to the stairs before Angel's voice stopped her short.

"Hey, if you need anything we're right here."

"Yeah. I know." She kept her back to them and made her own slow deliberate way up the stairs. The hallway was clear down to his room as they were the only ones in the hotel. She paused at his door debating whether to go in or not, but in the end elected for a room across the hall. The room was empty and smelled slightly musty but it offered solitude and a place to wash her face. She took a few minutes of running water to gather some peace around her before trying to pick apart the divine message shoved into her skull.

It seemed so long ago now that they found out about Angel's shanshu thing; the one that said he'd get to become human someday after the apocalypse. So happy they had been together, despite Angel's enforced lack of caring at first. She knew that wasn't what he had been fighting for all this time. He longed for redemption, or at least the chance to undo some of the wrong he'd done as the soulless monster Angelous. But that wasn't the only reason he fought as hard as he did, why he sacrificed as much as he had to get the job done.

She remembered how she had looked at him and Buffy together in high school. As much as she had hated to admit it back then Buffy had always had something she hadn't. And it wasn't just her mystic power, her super strength, it was something different. Something Cordelia couldn't name. She had wanted Angel because he was Buffy's. maybe it even had something to do with not even being able to keep Xander.

She shook her head to clear those thoughts. She was a different person now. The shallow high school girl she had been never had to worry about one of her friends not coming home at night or what was happening to some innocent in a dark alley somewhere. No, that girl had only worried about how much of daddy's money she was going to spend that weekend or which popularity contest she was going to win that week.

She remembered the battle at her high school graduation, all of her friends fighting together against the things that go bump in the night. She hadn't known that was the night Angel was going to walk away. She hadn't seen Buffy afterwards; they had never really been close after all. But she had heard later.

Now here was the part that really blew her mind. Ninety nine million to one were the odds of anyone ever falling in real, mind blowing, perfect love. And she knew the one couple that beat the odds, several times in fact. One couple that loved that one sweet perfect love, sent each other to hell, and have to live separately so that he doesn't become a mass murderer again. Doomed to be apart. Forbidden fruit to the millionth degree.

Cordy sat on the old dirty mattress and dropped her head to her hands, the first of several tears already on their way down her face. How could it have happened? The odds were entirely against such a thing happening. They could never be together. Ever! And then there was the prophesy…

"Cordy?" His voice outside the door. Of course he knew where she was. Hell, he could probably smell what she'd eaten for lunch two days ago. She let out a sigh and composed her face as best she could, but he didn't wait for her invitation and opened the door.

"Angel I'm fine. I'll be down in a minute."

"You're crying."

"Let me guess; you smelled the salt from down the hall."

"Actually, your mascara's all over your hands." Looking down she saw it was true and silently cursed Maybeline for lying to her. She sniffed and went back to the sink.

"Angel…"

"Look, if you still need more time I guess it'll be okay for you to go back to your apartment. I'll have Wesley take you back and you don't have to come back in 'till tomorrow."

"Angel. I think you should sit down." He looked at her for moment with those big beautiful eyes of his and then took a corner of the mattress, crossing his arms over his chest and looking very uncomfortable but willing to humor her. She took a breath and couldn't find a starting place so she grabbed the middle and went with it.

"I know what you did… About Buffy… I know what happened on the day I don't remember." Finally he showed some reaction. He winced his eyes closed and it looked to her like he was trying by sheer force of will to have her unsay those words.

"It. Didn't. Happen." Each word sounded as if it was being forced painfully out of his mouth and she thought she saw his arms clench tighter around his chest. She moved to his side smoothly and slid her arm across his shoulders. Her other hand gently moved his face to look at hers.

"There's something… the powers, they want to tell you something…" She sighed and turned her own eyes away. "When was the last time you talked to Buffy?" He was frozen for a long moment just staring at her but when he did move it was with every bit of his other worldly speed. She blinked at the sudden breeze and moved back to the sink to wash away fresh tears.