A/N: Well here is a new story by me, presently Sirius/Remus pairing, promising to be Hermione/Remus. You'll just have to wait and see. This story does take into account OotP book, so Sirius is now dead. This story is set after his death. Hope you enjoy.

The love of a Werewolf

I am alone… again. Not that I'm not used to being alone but it still hurts all the same.

Remus sat crumpled in the corner of Sirius' old room at No.12 Grimmauld Place. Perhaps being alone for so long he thought he would be used to it by now, but he was not. Having been stationed at headquarters with Sirius for near a year he had begun to feel true happiness in his life. But that happiness was now gone. Sirius should not have died. Harry needed him…

I need him.

He loved Sirius with all his heart, after all Sirius was the only person ever to be so close to him. No one else dared. Only recently Harry, Ron and Hermione treated him much in the same way James and Sirius once did when they were in school and that was with no fear but calm acceptance of who he was. Peter was always frightened of his wolfish side, but still he was his friend. But Sirius went further than friendship he broke those boundaries. They loved one another, no one else fully understood them, but they understood each other.

Remus shared his first kiss with Sirius and his second and third and forth. They were never lovers, never boyfriends but they just felt comfortable with each other. Sirius would always have girlfriends but Remus didn't mind. He wanted no more than what he received willingly from Sirius… he deserved no more. He found happiness in those simple touches, caresses and kisses, causing him to walk proud whenever Sirius walked next to him, his arm draped casually over his shoulder walking with Peter and James. The marauders, the best friends around. That was all he wanted and that was all Sirius wanted too.

Sirius was always the only one to notice when the cuts on his body where not from his transformation period but from human doing. With his self-abusive nature as a werewolf, that continued and affected his human form. He couldn't stop himself but he found release, he new it was wrong and stopped as quickly as he started. But then it was always too late. He thought he found control when he cut himself as a human, but hated himself for it.

Sirius would always scold him, then hold him and kiss away the pain. Such bliss in those kisses, just a simple act of love and care. He had always loved his best friends… his brothers, but he always loved Sirius that much more. And he had loved no one as much as he loved Sirius.

Remus raked his fingers through his greying hair pulling hard and slow. He wrapped his frayed cloak around his wasting fame and leaned his head back against the wall. His movement causing the floorboards beneath him to creak. He let out a long sigh and sobbed quietly, closing his eyes tight.

Just one more… just one more. He pleaded into the silence. But nothing happened.

He had spent one long week alone in the headquarters, wondering around… thinking, just thinking and wishing. But his wishes never came true. Tomorrow Molly would be arriving with the kids; it was really the only safe place for the members of the order to stay now that their identities had been revealed during the attack at the ministry. He sighed once again banging his head against the wall, tomorrow he would have to appear more like the Professor Lupin Harry, Ron and Hermione knew and needed to see. He had to show strength… for Harry's sake.

No more moping, no more harming… no more feeling. This was a war now after all, he had to be strong. He stood up slowly and rolled himself a cigarette and walked towards the window. He flung it open wide a lent heavily onto the ledge as he lit his cigarette. As he looked out into the night sky he remembered one of his early kisses he shared with Sirius, oh so long ago. How much he wanted to go back in time and relive that moment forever.

Sirius had sat studying all evening in the Gryffindor common room, across from him sat the object he had been studying. Remus held his head in his hands leaning over a very large book on cheering charms. Every now and then Sirius could see his lips moving as he read the words silently in his head.

The common room had cleared slowly as the time approached twelve. Leaving just the two alone. Peter had claimed a stomachache was ailing him and went to bed early. James retired shortly after claiming he had heart ache, for Lily Evans would never see how truly wonderful he was. When he had stated this Sirius had chucked the book he had supposedly been studying at James hitting him with a loud thud. "That was unnecessary!" James had claimed, stomping off to their dorm with more than just heartache.

They had been alone a while now and that was when Sirius began to talk.

"That was not there yesterday Remus." It was only then Remus pulled his eyes away from his charms book.

"What's that?" Remus asked slightly puzzled.

"THAT was not there yesterday." Sirius said flatly.

"What was not there yesterday Sirius?" Remus inquired softly.

"You know what Moony." Sirius said deadly serious.

Remus instinctively moved his hand to his arm below where his sleeves were rolled up.

"Of course it was. It has been there since… you know… the full moon. You know I scratch myself as a werewolf. Its only natural." He stuttered as he spoke ever so quietly.

"Don't lie to me Moony, I know it was not there yesterday. Why do you do it Moony… why?" Sirius said hopelessly.

Remus lowered his eyes to his hands, which were now in his lap.

"I just can't help it Padfoot, I just can't…" Remus sniffed heavily, and quickly wiped away a tear from his cheek.

Sirius shook his head and sighed.

"Come on Remmy, let's go for a walk."

Sirius put all their books and parchments into a pile in the middle of the table. He scraped back his chair and walked over to Remus, who still stared quietly at his hands. Sirius put a gently had on his shoulder and squeezed softly.

"Come on, let's go outside."

Perhaps it was the marauders animal instincts, which always led them outside, rather than to dwell inside the castle, it was outside where the marauders preferred to be, rain or shine.

Remus stood slowly, head still bowed. They slowly began to walk towards the Fat lady's door, once through the Fat lady grunted in her sleep, but said nothing else. It was then Sirius put a caring arm around Remus as they walked down the staircases and corridors towards the open sky.

Being the marauders they naturally knew all the shortcuts of the school making it simple to make their way out undetected. Once outside Remus slipped his hand into Sirius', he squeezed it tightly in return. Whist they made their way slowly to their favourite haunt Sirius filled the silence with his calm voice, talking about nothing and everything. They soon reached the clearing they had found last year within the forbidden forest, which was close to the edge but just out of sight from the school. Sirius sat silently onto a fallen tree, whilst Remus continued to pace around the clearing.

"Remus for God sake calm down and sit next to me." He walked over and plopped himself down on the tree next to Sirius looking again down at his hands.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?" Remus mumbled.

"Look down at your hands all the time, I want to see your eyes Remus. I want to look at you." He looked up in mild surprise and was greeted by Sirius' deep dark stare.

"See that's not so bad is it?" Sirius brushed away a few loose hairs from Remus' face and tucked them behind his ear. Slowly brushing his fingers along his jaw line as his hand fell away.

"So, are you going to tell me about it?" Remus shook his head.

"But I can't help if you don't talk to me." Remus shook his head again.

"You help me a whole lot just by being here Sirius." Remus found it hard to look away from that stare of his, the infamous stare of a Black. But he did and instead of focussing on his hands looked above him into the canopy of the trees.

"Do I really Remus?" He asked slowly.

"Yes." Remus whispered.

Sirius moved closer to Remus placing his hand atop of Remus' on the fallen tree. Remus moved his gaze to Sirius who had not stopped watching him closely.

"Will you talk to me when you are ready? You know I will understand. Its just… its just that I don't want to see you get more hurt Moony. I hate it when you cut yourself."

Remus nodded slowly. It was at that moment Sirius moved his free hand to Remus' face running his thumb along his jaw line then slowly down his neck. Remus leaned into his touch closing his eyes at such a touch. It was then he felt Sirius move and pull Remus down with him to the forest floor. Carefully pulling Remus on top of him. Remus felt the soft brush of Sirius' lips against his own. He sighed at that beautiful touch. Kissing back slowly. Sirius slipped his arms around Remus' waist and under his robes, pulling him closer to him. It was then Remus started to deepen the kiss, loving every second of their contact, Sirius gently caressed Remus' back as Remus entwined his fingers into Sirius' long black silky hair. He could taste Sirius, that sweet but sharp tang. He could taste the meal they had had that evening but he could also taste the sour apple flavour of the sweets Sirius loved to suck on.

As they explored each other's mouths Sirius arched his back, causing Remus to press even harder against him. Remus pulled away from the kiss. Sirius then rolled over now pining Remus' smaller frame to the floor. He kissed Remus' face gently then slowly moved down to his neck, where he nuzzled, licked and nipped happily at his neck. Causing Remus to grunt wolfishly into the night. At that Sirius bit down on his neck, sucking and leaving a mark. He slowly pulled himself away, working kisses up to his ear where he again nibbled at his lobe. It was then Sirius whispered those ever so sweet words. "I… Love… You… Moony." Remus closed his eyes tight as tears fell down his cheeks. "I love you too Padfoot, I love you too." It was then the hugged and clung to each other nuzzeling at each other. Sirius then pulled up Remus' arm to his face and kissed his fresh scars. "Please, just stop." Sirius pleaded Remus; he then continued to hug him tightly. After a long while of close contact they slowly sat up, then stood brushing the pine needles from their robes.

They silently walked their way back to the common room hand in hand. Once there, they packed away their belongings and went up to the forth year boys dorms and went to their four-poster beds.

He slept well that night, they both did. They slept well indeed.

Remus rubbed his eyes hard and threw his third cigarette out of the window. He could still taste Sirius now. At that moment Remus shut the window quietly then took all his clothes off and curled up in Sirius' bed. Where he sobbed quietly alone into the covers of his loved one.

T.b.c…

Review please… let me know what you guys think.