Awakening: Third Stage

Chapter Eight

"Not-So-Simple Life"

Sunday

Lor darted to and fro in the confines of her room, she never seemed to stop moving, and her friends watched in fascination as Lor fretted incessantly about her outfit, her hair, her teeth—trying in vain to make herself perfection incarnate instead of accepting who she was, as Thompson always told her.

As the group swayed their heads back and forth with Lor's movements, Tish felt moved. "Tino, Carver? If either of you see me acting like that before the Homecoming Dance, I hereby give you permission to slap me one."

"I dunno, Tish." Carver smiled. "This really isn't your style. You're more the type to hold your frustration inside until you explode in a big, um. . .Tishy kind of way."

"Excuse me?" Tish cocked a rather fierce eyebrow at her friend.

"Um, T? Little help here?" Carver asked, looking to his buddy for support.

"Hey! Don't you drag me into this!" Tino cried. "The consequences for me are a lot worse than they are for you. She'll ground me!"

"Ground you?" wondered Carver. "She's not your mom. How can Tish possibly. . .oh, I get it."

"Oh, you're so going to get it, Descartes!" Tish rounded on him. "I can't believe you said something so mean to me!" Tish seemed rather upset.

"Okay, okay, maybe it was a little insensitive, but it's true." Carver pleaded his case. "You shouldn't hold everything in!"

Lor continued her frantic pacing and mumbling as the conversation continued. "It's not that simple, Carver." Tish sighed. "I'm just. . .I'm all kinds of crazy. If I don't keep a tight rein on it, I can go over the edge. Do you have any idea how much I have to hold back for Tino's sake? When I'm alone, that's when I try to deal with all of my idiosyncrasies. But between school and drama club and dulcimer lessons and my family Tino and hanging out with you guys. . .there just isn't enough Tish to go around!"

"Tish. . ." Tino began, "I never knew you were so stressed."

"I'll be all right." She tried on a smile, blinking a few tears out of her eyes.

"It's okay." Carver said. "We'll help you. Relax, take a deep breath." Tish complied, her lungs filling with cleansing air. "There, didn't that feel good? Now, close your eyes, lean back, and take another one."

Feeling silly, Tish leaned back and did as she was told. Carver was right, to her surprise. It did feel pretty good, as though her life were manageable again. "Thanks Carver. This is just what I needed."

"Told ya. Now, take another breath."

Tish hummed, inhaled deeply, then frowned. Opening her eyes, she followed Carver's gaze back to its origin, exhaled in a gasp, and began blushing. "Hey, you-you're staring at my breasts, aren't you?!"

"Well, it kinda depends on what your definition of the word 'stare' is. . ." Carver trailed off, attempting very much in vain to defend himself.

"You are such a MAN!" Tish growled, punching him in the arm with a surprising amount of force, considering her more delicate features. It was while he was rubbing his sore arm and wincing in pain that Lore turned around and grabbed Carver, who instantly noticed the frantic look in her eyes."

"Carver!" Lor half shouted. "If you can tear yourself away from Tish's chest for a moment, I'm having a fashion crisis here that I need your help with, and I don't think that Tish's boobs have the answer!"

"She's got you there, Carv." Tino grinned.

"I'll get him, all right. . ." Tish grumbled, clearly upset.

Lor took charge, as she was running out of time before her date. "Carver, you're with me. Tish, keep breathing. Tino. . .um, enjoy the show or something." With that, Lor drageed Carver out her door and down the hall to her parents room, and the full-length mirror it held.

Tino turned back toward Tish, feeling a little sheepish. "Um, breathe in?" Tish swung a pillow at him.

Down the hall, Lor critiqued her outfit in the mirror, asking Carver's professional opinion. A simple pair of blue jeans with a white T-shirt and a navy blue sweatshirt over it, she had gotten the impression from Thompson that she should dress casual. She had tried three different styles with her hair today before finally deciding to just let it fall about her head as it always did. It would be better to save the fancier stuff for the dance.

She could feel her heart beating rapidly. Sweat bothered her so frequently that she had gone through half a stick of anti-perspirant. Here she was, less than an hour away from her big date with Thompson, and already she was feeling overwhelmed. Counting on her fingers, Lor felt confused, hyper, nervous, anxious, excited, and fearful—the perfect picture of neurotic behavior.

"Lor," Carver began, "you've gotta calm yourself down. You're gonna psych yourself out if you keep this up, and then where will you be?"

"I can't help it!" Lor groaned. "I've been trying to get a date with Thompson for like my entire life! Now that it's finally happening, I feel like I'm going to explode!"

"Yeah, and if you don't relax, you probably will."

"I know, I know! It's just. . .I so want this to be perfect, you know? I really want Thompson to like me. . .like me like me. I'm not exactly soft or anything, but. . .I've got a lot of love to give."

"And you want to give it to Thompson, right?"

"Yeah." Lor gulped. "But I'm not good at this kinda stuff. And Thompson isn't a mushy guy, he's like me. I feel like I don't have anyone to ask for help!"

"Your confidence in me is overwhelming." Carver sighed.

"I'm sorry dude, but. . .it's not like you're exactly in a relationship."

"What about Tino and Tish? Now those to have a handle on the relationship thing." Carver shifted the focus to spare himself further embarrassment.

"I don't think that would work. They aren't like me. Tino's the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. And Tish. . .well, she and I aren't very alike, and we don't see eye to eye on romance. Tish knows what she wants, and where she stands. Twenty bucks says she asks Tino to marry her after high school."

"No way! She'll get her degree first. Then they'll get married, and you'll still be chasing Thompson." Carver spoke smugly.

"Not after tonight, Carv." Lor smirked, smoothing out her sweatshirt. "Tonight, I'm going to catch him." She clasped her hands together for emphasis.

"And may God have mercy on his soul." Carver muttered under his breath.

"What was that?!"

"I said, 'that outfit is hot."

"Thanks dude. Wish me luck!" Lor grinned, half skipping down her stairs. She slipped a pair of sneakers on, waved to Carver, and went out the front door, leaving Carver feeling alone. Sighing, he went back to Lor's bedroom to collect his friends.

"Hey, I thought heard a noise out there. Did Lor leave?" Tino inquired when he saw that she wasn't behind Carver.

Tish snorted. "Are you sure that noise you heard wasn't the sound of Carver being a disgusting pig?"

"All right, I'm sorry already!" Carver gave in. "I couldn't help it! It was wasn't planned just. . .suddenly they were real noticeable. I'm only human!"

"That's still no excuse! On top of that, my own boyfriend didn't even stand up for me!"

"I'm sorry, Tish." Tino explained. "I thought it was funny! I mean, I can understand why you would feel hurt, but it was only Carver, and it's not like he was trying to peek in on you changing."

"Well it's still demeaning! Don't you think I deserve better?!"

"You know I have trouble with confrontations. . ." Tino said haltingly.

"Well then, while we're on the subject of anatomy, maybe you should reach down and find a pair!"

Tino blinked. Carver laughed hysterically. "Man, she got you but good!"

"Okay," Tino sighed, "what do Carv and I have to do to make this up to you?"

"Well, there is that new natural foods restaurant that opened up downtown. . ."

Tino and Carver knew it was going to be a long Sunday evening.

As Lor waited outside the Funville arcade, she focused on breathing in and out steadily, and also on keeping herself from shaking too much. She inhaled deeply and resolved to take control of her anxiety. She was Lor MacQuarrie, after all. She had commanded her Pudding Ball team to the finals. She had stared down defiantly at punks from Campo Fields. She had taken second place in a talent show, still held the top score for Motorcycle Space Avengers, and fallen only one basket short of winning a ten thousand dollar prize. Surely she could manage to get a grip on her emotions. She could do anything when she put her mind to it.

A quick glance at Thompson's approaching form dashed that hope to pieces. "Hey, Lor! I'm glad you could make it."

Lor struggled to speaking, focusing every last ounce of her will on not choking up or shutting down. "I-I'm glad we finally got a chance to do this. I promised myself that I would do it right this time, that I wouldn't try to fake you out. So whatever does or doesn't happen between us tonight, I just want you to know that for once, this is the real me." Lor cupped her hands over her mouth in shock, not quite believing that she had just said something so personal. Suddenly, she felt twice as vulnerable around Thompson as usual.

"Hey, it's okay." Thompson reassured her. "The real you is the one I like. You're totally cool, Lor, when you don't try and act fake. You're athletic, you're funny, you know how to have a good time; I'm honored to call you my date for the evening."

Lor made a conscious effort not to blush, but her face still turned redder than a ripe tomato. "I, um. . .ger. . .that is. . ."

"Lor, relax. We're just going to have a good time tonight. Shoot a little pool, get a little something to eat. There's no pressure here."

Lor nodded her head in acknowledgement. "O-okay. I. . I-"

"Tell you what? Why don't we go in and play some pool? A good competition always seems to get you going." Lor nodded again an stumbled through the door of the Funville arcade. The familiar atmosphere instantly made Lor much more comfortable, and she walked next to Thompson all the way to the pool tables without incident. As she stepped over to the rack and gripped a cue stick, Lor began to feel like her old self again.

Thompson inserted a dollar into the slot on the side of the table, and Lor reached for the triangle on the opposite end. Thompson collected the balls and passed them down for Lor to rack up. Having regained her confidence, Lor thought it would only be fair to allow her date to break first. Thompson managed to sink two balls with his opening shot, and for the first time since she and Tish had bet their allowances on a winner take all game, Lor felt truly challenged. Of course, back during that contest, Tish had totally flubbed a critical shot near the end, much to her chagrin. She ended up scratching, thus ensuring Lor an easy victory. She hadn't been too eager to take Lor on again in competition after that, and the two members of the fairer sex had since formed an unholy alliance that consistently brought defeat to poor Tino and Carver. Lor was still rather proud of the accomplishment.

Even so, she was having the time of her life now. Thompson had been right, this game was bringing out the best in her. She was truly in the zone, and Thompson was pushing her to her limits. All of her earlier qualms and hesitations had vanished into thin air. Lor MacQuarrie was truly alive.

Half an hour later, Lor had pulled a proverbial rabbit out of her hat and managed to drop the eight ball before Thompson had a chance to stick it to her. "That was great, Lor! I've gotta admit, you surprised me at the end there. I had figured that for an impossible shot!" Thompson was duly impressed.

"It's all in the wrist." Lor grinned.

"So, are you having a good time?" Thompson inquired

"The best! I'm sorry I didn't just act like myself sooner! I hope I can make up for lost time.!"

"I'd say you're off to a good start. Do you want to swing by the Snack Shack? Maybe get a little something to eat?"

"Oh, I guess I could go for one of those half pound cheeseburgers and a boat of chili cheese fries. Oh, and a diet soda. Us girls need to watch our figures, you know!" Lor laughed.

"That's what I usually order!" Thompson exclaimed.

"No way! That is so cool! Extra pickles?"

"I'm more of a steak sauce kinda guy. Anyway, let's go get our grub on, Lor."

"I am so there!"

The walk over to the Snack Shack was revealing to both teens. Thompson was very inquisitive about Lor's family, and Lor proceeded to regale him with different humorous stories. His personal favorite was about the Christmas when Coach Colson spilled his mashed potatoes all over the kitchen floor. Amazingly, it failed to spoil either of their appetites.

After placing their orders, they sat down inside the small dining area, and Thompson popped a question that wasn't at all easy for Lor to answer. "So, what's it like, living with your family? I've never known any with such a large family as you."

"Well, I. . .it's. . .not that easy to explain." Lor sighed and set her burger back down in the basket. "We're different than any other family I know. We can get kind rowdy. Actually, we're always rowdy. It's a little weird being the only girl. It can be pretty difficult for me to relate, lately. It wasn't always this way, but now that I'm getting older, being a woman means something different, you know? It's not quite the same as when I was younger. And then there's some things that never change, you just get used to them. Not having any privacy, being totally invisible to your parents. . .you really have to learn to take care of yourself. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. . .but every once in awhile, I wish I lived like Tish, or Carver, or even Tino. Whenever I visit them. . .I can tell that they have pretty close families, like you can feel the love in the room. And I'm not saying my house isn't happy, or that I'm unloved. It's just. . .different, you know? Only so much of my parents to go around, and I'm older, so they don't have much time to check in on me."

"I'm sorry." Thompson gulped, beginning to feel like a cad. "I shouldn't have asked you so personal a question. It's really none of my business."

"Don't worry about it. If I didn't want to tell you, I wouldn't." Lor picked at her fries.

"Would it bother you if I asked just one more?" Thompson queried hesitantly. Lor nodded in response, biting into her burger. "Why. . .why did you choose me? Out of all the guys in middle and high school, you've had this huge crush on me for like forever. I just wanted to know what makes me so special."

Lor finished half of her burger and was working on her fries before she answered. The minute of silence that passed worried Thompson, he was concerned that he had said the wrong thing and that Lor was giving him the silent treatment. When Lor finally spoke, Thompson heard a story the likes of which he never expected to hear from Lor MacQuarrie.

"Thompson, I've been totally into you for a long time, that's true. You're cool, and awesome dresser, and you know your sports, just like me. Plus, you're pretty cute." Lor grinned. "But there's more to it than that. Back in the seventh grade, that was when Tino and Tish got together. Too bad they didn't see fit to tell us until a year later, but that's beside the point." Lor ground her teeth slightly at the memory. "It was a Thursday evening, and I had an extra five bucks in my pocket, so I had decided to come down here, to the Snack Shack, and treat myself to a little pre-weekend junk food. So I ordered my usual, paid the guy, grabbed some salt packets and a straw, then turned around to go out to the dock. I figured I'd watch the sunset and try to forget about an algebra test I had the next day. So I'm walking over, and what do I see on the stone wall in front of the beach? I see Tish sitting there with Tino, and she's holding him really, really tight. But not in a mushy way, otherwise I would've figured out their secret right then and there. Tish was crying really hard, and Tino was. . .well, he was taking care of Tish. That's what Tino does, that's what he's best at. I remember that I was a little scared because I'd never seen her looking so upset. . .she was a mess. I found out a few days later that someone in her family had died. When I look back on that now, one thing sticks with me. Tino would've done for Tish what he did that day whether she was his girlfriend or not. That wasn't what it was about. He was being her friend. More than that, he was being that person we all need, someone we can relax around. And I knew in that moment that I was missing something. I wanted to have someone to turn to. I wanted to know there was someone I could break down in front of and they wouldn't think less of me. Instead of always being my usual self. Dependable old Lor, you always know what she's thinking."

"Sometimes you have feelings you can't explain, right?" Thompson ventured.

"Now you're getting it. I'm not good at this stuff at all. Sometimes I get in these weird moods and I don't know why. You know me, I'm usually fun, right?" Lor asked for a second opinion.

"You're always fun. Whenever I see you, you're always doing something you love. Or trying to impress me."

"Yeah, but that isn't all there is to me. There's more. What you're talking about. . .that's the part of me that Tino and Carver and Tish see. And it's true, those things are a big part of who I am. But when I'm alone. . .by myself. . .there's more, and not even my friends know that."

"Lor. . .you don't have to tell me all of your most personal stuff if you don't want to."

"I promised you that I would be myself. And this is me, the real me, the complete me that no one else knows about. And I don't really understand that yet, I'm not sure what it means. But you wanted to know about me, so I'm keeping it real." She sighed. "Maybe I'm just crazy."

"Lor. . .I really didn't expect this from you."

"Guess there's more to me than meets the eye." Lor smirked. "So, are you gonna finish your fries, or what?" She had a splotch of chili stuck to her left cheek, but either she didn't notice, or didn't care.

"Knock yourself out. I'm just happy to finally meet the real you."

"Yeah, well you know how there's a lot more to yourself than just what people see at school? Well, there's more to me than just the sporty girl. Stick around if you wanna learn more." Lor flipped one of the fries in the air and caught it with her mouth. "I swar, Carver and I have to resubmit our petition to make this an Olympic sport.

"Think you could teach me how to do that?" Thompson asked as he watched Lor repeat her favorite trick.

"Think you can teach me how to do that?" Thompson asked.

"Nothing would make me happier." Lor smiled. This grin wasn't filled with her usual mischievousness, something that would continue to puzzle Lor years later.

Congratulations to you all, for I have managed to produce an update to this story a full week ahead of schedule. That's got to be some kind of record. It started out that I just had some extra time and wanted to make the work easier on myself, and before I knew it, I was done way ahead of schedule. Sounds like a cause for celebration to me, but we'll get to that in a moment.

On a more personal note, May 4 will mark the official 1 year anniversary of my Awakening project. I'll be holding something of a party like chat online that night, where I hope to discuss the future of this project, as well as passing out an exclusive little bit of fanfic goodness to commemorate this anniversary. It will be available only through IM, you can find the contact info below. This chat will be held overnight, kicking off somewhere around 1 or 1:30 AM EST on Tuesday night/Wed morning (May 4-5). Most of my usual crowd are aware. If any of you can't attend but wish you could, you may contact me via e-mail on Tuesday, May 4, and I will send you back the commemorative fanfic special.

Next up, the events everyone has been looking toward begin happening. It's Homecoming time, and everything will be different! Get set for some events that will rock the course of everyone's personal lives! Meet me back here in 3 weeks for "Last Dance Before An Execution." Later days!

As always, please send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

5/1/04

12:45 AM, EST

E-mail: rangerwriteryahoo.com

AIM: Asukaphile26