sorry i havnt updated so ill give you 2 and 3 today thanks to all my reviewers , all 2 of you. that means that the rest of you guys are not good readers, if you were you would review.
sueing middle earth
Chapter two
When Legolas got back to the castle he bolted up to his room and looked in the mirror. "EW my skin is all sweaty and gross, I look like a mortal." So he had a quick 30 minute shower and got dressed into his fifth set of clothes for the day (Much to the maids annoyance) then ran into the gardens to meet his friends.
Elladan, Elrohir and Estel were sitting around the duck pond feeding moist cake to the poor doomed ducks (it hardens in your stomach and kills you painfully) while talking about absolute crap.
"Hey triple E, guess what?" Legolas said sitting down next to Elladan and as far as possible from Estel, he still remembered the note.
Legolas, being tall, blond and excessively attractive, was usually the butt of the group's jokes and was never taken seriously.
The four however had been friends for at least 6 years and were known as the local trouble makers in Rivendel. They were thought of in modern terms a gang, the EEEL gang to be precise.
The EEEL's would hang out everyday doing ridiculously stupid and cruel things; like killing Elrond's ducks.
Elladan sighed and played along. "I don't know what?"
"Who cares? Legolas help us kill the natural wildlife," Estel said handing him a chunk of cake.
Legolas ignored his EX-best friend's comment and continued talking to the twins. "I was walking in the woods and I found a dead body."
"What's new? We have seen loads of corpses before." Elladan threw a chunk of cake into the water.
"This one is a girl," Legolas protested.
This comment caught their attention. "Is she fair?" Estel questioned.
"Why would you care? All you ever do is waste your time stalking the evenstar," Legolas said sullenly.
"I can have multiple interests."
The four threw the remaining cake into the water and ran into the forest off to find the dead body, leaving a trail of destruction behind them.
))
Peta woke up in the forest to the normal woody sounds. (Crow dying and a chipmunk taking a dump) She wandered around for about an hour trying to find her way to some form of civilization. Eventually she realized that she was going to have to live the rest of her life out in the woods, so she found a nice big tree and tried to remember back to her Girl Guide days. Unfortunately these thoughts were replaced by thoughts of the Disney movie Tarzan.
"My house…" Peta stood in front of her new home and smiled. She had tried to build in the tree, but it was too hard so she started on the ground. She had collected branches of various lengths and built a small hut out of it. Peta had then gathered lots of leaves and used them as flooring. As camouflage from not so nice creatures, she caked the branches in mud and left it to dry.
In other words Peta's new house looked just like Eeyore's house covered in mud.
Peta then realized she was very hungry. So she went off in search of food. Soon she found a bush covered in nice dark purple berries. Peta being a stupid sue, stuffed her face with the berries then she sat back against the tree and patted her stomach, satisfied.
Suddenly, Peta twitched, her pupils grew to the size of bowling balls and she mouth started to froth.
Peta stood up and grinned like the mad monkey woman she was. She felt GREAT! She felt like she could do anything. She was Peta the mad monkey woman; Queen of the forest. She ripped up her jeans with her bare teeth, so now they resembled an uneven loincloth/shredded pair jeans.
Next she pulled her shirt over the top of her head so she looked a wild soccer fan.
Peter wasn't the most gorgeous looking girl ever, she was a little on the scrawny, flea bitten side with golden brown hair that looked greenish in the light. Not to mention she was only 5'1.
She then proceeded to run about the forest wildly screeching obscenities whilst throwing herself from tree to tree.
The four friends were trekking through the forest when they heard a scream. "TITTY RETARD COCKNOCKERS!" Then a loud thump.
"What the hell was that?" Elladan asked in bewilderment.
"It came from over here," Estel said, who was famous for being able to track a mosquito in a thunderstorm. They followed the strange tracks until they came to Peta's hut.
It had collapsed under the weight of the mud. The four took not of the strange stick appearance and continued on.
"It could be the Blair Bitch," Estel whispered to Legolas, making him paranoid for the rest of the story.
"Oh Shit," Elrohir muttered. Lying on the ground in a pile of dead leaves was Peta. She was deadly pale and had mud camouflage lines under her eyes.
Legolas recoiled in disgust, it looked like it was starting to rot and probably festering with germs. Estel felt for a pulse. "It's alive!"
"Zombie!" Legolas cried and jumped into the nearest tree.
"I dare you to touch it," Elladan said to his brother. Elrohir cautiously inched for and stuck out his hand, gingerly he reached forward and tapped Peta's foot before leaping back behind Estel.
Estel rolled his eyes. "Come off it, look it's just a rabid man child who is lost in the woods, she looks sick let's take her back to Elrond."
"Fine but I'm not carrying her." Legolas said sullenly.
Estel heaved the girl over his shoulder and the group head back home.
Lol reviews encourage!
