Awakening: Third Stage
Chapter Twelve
"Picking Up The Pieces"
Saturday (After Homecoming)
Tish no longer cared about the condition of her dress when she arrived home. She entered her front door without a word, barely responding to her father when he welcomed her home. Her father instantly new she was upset, which prompted a round of questions from both her parents, none of which she answered. "Just leave me alone, please!" She cried, trying to make her way to the sanctuary of her room.
"Tishy, you must be calming down!" Her mother admonished. "I will fix you a nice warm glass of goat milk. This will make everything better, you see."
"I don't want the goat milk!" She hollered. "I want my privacy!" She forced her way past them into her room, locking the door behind her. She tore her rain-soaked dress off as quickly as possible, not caring whether she ripped it in the process. It would just be one more reminder of how painful this evening had been. After extricating herself from the outfit, she glanced at herself in the mirror. She looked every bit as bad as she felt, an absolute mess. There was a sorrow she felt deep inside, more than could be explained by the mere ending of a relationship. There was a part of her that felt as though she'd lost something precious, and she ached inside. Suddenly angry with herself, she ripped off every last stitch of clothing that remained on her, throwing them in several directions, as though she could somehow rid herself of her emotions with her garments. She threw one of her dresser drawers open and yanked a white slip out, shoving it over her head and forcing it on.
Falling backwards onto her bed, she looked longingly at her phone. She needed to talk to someone, but whom? She couldn't speak about this with her friends, and her parents were definitely out. Tish was left with the awkward realization that she didn't have anyone else to turn to. There was nothing for her but the dull ache in her stomach that made her feel like she was going to throw up. Finally, she seized her phone and held it up to her ear. She could hear the low hum of the dial tone as it played in her ear, heightening her senses. Blindly, she dialed the one number she could've called even in her sleep. Tish heard the phone ring four times, and she was grateful when the answering machine picked up, allowing her to say her peace without fuss. "Tino, it's me. I'm………."She allowed the silence to draw on for several seconds before figuring out what she was trying to say. "I'm sorry," she began, a new round of tears coming even as she had thought she was out of them to cry. "I'm so, so sorry. I only wish. . ." But she didn't know what she wished, and so the machine recorded nothing more than her tears and pathetic sobs before signaling that it had hit the end of its buffer and disconnecting the call.
Tish remained sprawled on her bed, trying to come to grips with her own stupidity as the phone advised her to hang up and dial again, then began beeping angrily at her. She turned the phone off absently, then opened a new line and called a number she hadn't ever really expected to use.
"Hello?" She heard a voice pick up after two rings.
"Hel. . .hello." Tish managed weekly. "Is that you, Dixon?"
"Yes, and who might this be?"
"It's. . .Tish." She sniffled in response.
"Tish? Hey, nice to hear from you. How are you?"
"I'm not good, Dixon."
"Hush now." Dixon tried his best to be soothing. "Take a deep breath and explain it to me, all right? I don't have anywhere else to be tonight." In truth, he was supposed to be meeting a certain special lady, but under the circumstances, he didn't think Miss Tonitini would mind if he turned up late.
Over the next several hours, Tish would learn that she was not as different from other girls her age as she had originally expected.
The damp walk home from the Homecoming Dance was somewhat relaxing to both Tino and Lor. While both hadn't had agreeable evening in the slightest, at least they could find comfort in one another's misery.
"Ouch." Lor winced in pain as Tino related the story of what passed between himself and Tish that evening. "I guess I'm not the only one who did a belly flop into the pool of love tonight."
"An empty pool is more like it." Tino groaned. I really can't imagine how it could've gone any worse."
"Well, she could have-"
"I'm pretty broken up about it as it is, Lor." Tino interrupted her.
"All right, no jokes. So are you guys gonna work this thing out? I mean, it can't be as hopeless as me and Thompson, right?"
"I dunno." Tino sighed. "Thompson moved to New York, but you know he cares about you. Tish just outright rejected my feelings."
"Ugh, good point. But you know Tish, she can be really sensitive about stuff. Maybe if you just give her a little time, she'll calm down and you can talk it out. You guys have been together way too long to hit a wall this hard. I mean, you're one of the longest running couples in our class. If you guys break up, it could end up starting some kind of chain reaction that'll turn the whole sophomore ranks into chaos! Actually, that sounds kind of fun. . .um, no offense to your situation."
"None taken."
"You seem to be coping with this whole Thompson thing a lot better, Lor."
"It's not so much coping as it is forcing myself not to think about it right now, but yeah. I guess it's like. . .I knew this was coming, and the reality of how much I might have cheated myself out of these past few years. . .I just want to scream really loud!
"Go ahead." Tino grinned. "We're in the middle of town. There's nothing around here but closed storefronts."
"I HATE MY LIFE!" Lor shouted at the top of her lungs, half-giggling. "Whoa, that felt pretty good.
"I know how you feel." Tino returned Lor's smile. "I hate your life too."
"Thanks Tino. I know I can always count on you."
"Just trying to be supportive. Hey, Lor?"
"Yeah?"
"Back at the school there, outside, when we were dancing?"
"Right."
"You really did look beautiful."
Lor stopped walking, looking confused for a moment. "Are you blind?" She laughed out loud. "Tino, I'm a mess. I'm totally soaked, my dress is clinging and getting a little too friendly with me, my hair is a disaster-"
"And you still look great! I know you got a raw deal tonight, but don't give up, okay? You've got plenty to offer. As soon as you feel ready, you need to put yourself up on the market. Trust me, you'll find plenty of takers."
"You may be right." Lor pondered this as she resumed walking, Tino falling in step beside her. "But it won't be the same as with Thompson."
"I think maybe that's the whole point. I mean, if falling in love was always the same type of thing no matter who it was with, wouldn't that make the whole relationship thing kind of pointless? If anyone could make you feel the same way, it's meaningless."
"You've had a long time to think about this, haven't you?" Lor asked.
"Hey, I've been dating the same girl for three years. Trust me, I've laid awake some nights questioning the wisdom of that."
"And?" Lor waited impatiently.
"I guess in the end, you just have to go with what feels right to you."
"Well, that's a big help." Lor rolled her eyes.
"Hey, it's totally true! That policy has gotten me through a lot."
"Including your Mom's cooking?"
"Let's not go changing the subject! You know what I'm talking about."
"Yeah. And to be honest, I'm probably going to be okay once I manage to suck this up and move on."
"Nobody's that well adjusted." Tino chided.
"I know I'm not!" Lor admitted. "But on the plus side, I don't feel so hopeless anymore."
"No."
"Nah. I just feel like I'm gonna be sick every few minutes."
"I know what you mean. Boiled fish bladders make me feel the same way."
"I don't even want to know." Lor shook her head. "Man, you're doing it again, you're making me laugh!"
"We gotta make the best of a bad situation."
"Take some of your own advice, Tino. You know you don't like being on the outs with Tish."
"We've never fought over something like this before." Tino explained, his eyes taking on a far-off look as he thought of the girl he loved. "We've had arguments, sure. Sometimes pretty big ones. But they were usually over something stupid, or we'd just get over it because we realized we enjoyed each other's company more than whatever our fight was about. But I think this is different. We really did smash into something hard tonight." Tino threw himself onto a nearby bench, suddenly feeling the need to sit down. "Before this happened, it's like I knew inside that we'd always be together. Maybe everything wouldn't always be bliss, but I thought we could work through anything. I guess that was pretty naïve of me."
"Maybe a little." Lor said quietly. "But it was romantic, and you know Tish loves that kind of thing."
"For all the good it does me now." Tino snorted.
"Wow. Dude, you're really scared of losing her, aren't you?" Lor's expression immediately switched to one of concern. "Hey, don't talk like that. Just give her some time."
"It's more than that. I mean, of course I'm scared of losing her. But I'm even more scared of what will become of me if I do. I mean, Tish is all I've really known in this department. I'm attached to her, Lor! If she leaves me. . ."
"You'll still have me and Carver." Lor tried to reassure him. "Come on Tino, don't break down on me. It's gonna be okay. You know Tish cares about you, she's not gonna do you wrong like that."
Tino looked towards Lor looking for some kind of validation in her face. She nodded her head slowly and gave him her best smile. "You promise?" Tino asked, still feeling the sudden vulnerability that had washed over him.
"Sure, I promise." Lor replied, not feeling quite as confident as she was trying to sound.
Tino choked back a sniffle and tried to regain his composure. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get like this until I was alone. I know you have your own problems tonight."
"I can wait till I get home before I start with the self-pity thing." Lor smirked, trying to act lighter than she was feeling. "So anyway, thanks for coming after me."
"I couldn't stand to see you looking like that. Not after what had just happened to me. I was afraid I would start looking the same. I figured maybe I could help us both out."
"Yeah, I'll bet that's what you say to all the girls."
"If I knew what women wanted to hear, I'd be one of those popular guys."
"That's okay. I'd take the Tino I know over some popular dork anytime."
"I'm gonna take that as a compliment and not think too hard on it!" Tino smiled.
As the dance came to an end and students started walking home or meeting their rides, Carver stepped outside into the dampness of the night. Thankfully, the wind had stopped, but puddles were still lying around in abundance, just waiting to assault any shoe that might step in them, hopefully causing some collateral damage to other articles of clothing through splashes. Carver looked around for his friends, but it seemed like all hope was lost. Tino had taken off for home over an hour ago over some argument he and Tish got into. Lor was gone from her last known position, Carver wondered if she had finally gone home to avoid having to face the other members of her class. And Tish was nowhere to be seen, she had disappeared very shortly after Tino made his exit. "And here's little Carver all alone." He muttered to no one in particular. Man, some party this turned out to be. I didn't even meet anyone. Another cool outfit gone to waste, can't wear this thing again." He sighed. Man, I can't believe none of them waited for me. At least Tish could've stayed! This calls for drastic action. He checked his watch, 11:15, verifying that he still had 45 minutes to get to the pizza place before they closed. Time for some maximum midnight snackage he grinned eagerly, bounding down the street at a very brisk walk.
Until he heard from his friends, there was little he could do to help, but Carver knew that the next few weeks were probably going to be missile. Three quarters of their group were suffering a meltdown over romantic entanglements. It appeared Lor's original concerns might finally prove true, if Tino and Tish didn't make up, it might fracture their group dynamic irreparably. That, Carver decided, was a very sobering thought. Maybe there was something he could do after all, he decided, wracking his brain for any good ideas. Bad enough Lor was feeling miserable, but the whole Tino and Tish situation had the potential to become a hull breach on all decks. Whispers had already begun spreading around the dance as Tino and Tish's argument had not been very private. Carver had heard Percy and Ruby refer to Tish's emotional outburst as "the slap heard round the gym," and indeed it had been a powerful moment. Tish was never thought of as a violent person. She could be a tad excitable at times, perhaps, but not violent. And of all the people in the world for her to get physical with, Tino should have been at the bottom of the list, right between fuzzy puppies and Nono. Tino must have done something terrible to make her do such a thing. Not that he'd have any chance to drag the relevant information out of his friend for at least a day or two. None of it made any sense. Carver resolved that he had to find himself a steady girlfriend, so that he could be as confused as everyone else. At least then he'd have a better idea what was going on.
"Maybe it's not so bad after all." Carver hoped. "I just need to get more information. I'll bet I can fix up Tino and Tish. Then all I have to do is help Lor with her problem and I'll have single-handedly saved our group's friendship. How hard can it be?" An inner voice told him that his craving for some quality pizza was deluding his mind, but Carver quickly stifled it. Any ideas thought up on an empty stomach had to be winners, right?
"I'm a monster." Tish reiterated to Dixon again. "Dixon, I've lost my best friend, my closest confidante! I totally rejected him! He trusted me with his heart, and I betrayed it, surely as if I had cheated on him. No, better that I had, that at least might've saved him some heartache, given him some explanation why I rejected him so coldly!"
"Well, you know Tish, it's not too late to take it back." Dixon calmly explained. "Tell Tino that you just panicked, but you're okay now."
"I can't take it back!" Tish howled in misery. "I can't take it back because it's for his own good! I don't want him to love me because it's convenient. I want him to love me for who I am, not because we just happened to be good friends first. I never want Tino to feel like he might've missed out on something better."
"You know, you might be too mature for your own good." Dixon cocked any eyebrow.
"I won't pretend it hasn't gotten me into trouble more than once." Tish groaned.
"I hear you also tend to exhibit a lot of very motherly characteristics."
"Yes, that's how I feel towards all my friends. I'm protective. Maybe I'm overprotective, I've lost the ability to tell the difference. I go overboard. Just like you've seen Tino get obsessed over things, right."
"Keep going." Dixon made sure Tish could hear the smile in his voice.
"Turning Tino down tonight, that was the hardest thing I can remember doing in my life. I felt like a schoolgirl! I. . .I am a schoolgirl. All I wanted to do was tell him I felt the same way and that I wanted to be with him forever. But how fair would that be of either of us? It's easy to say you love someone when they're all you know. Romantically, Tino and I are chained up in Plato's cave. I wanted him to have a chance to see the outside world in all its glory before deciding he's in love with a shadow."
"So you do love him after all." Dixon politely kept Tish centered on the reality of her situation, not allowing her to sidestep the issue.
"Yes." She said in a voice that sounded almost like a whisper. Tish flipped onto her stomach, her legs bending into the air behind her. Her toes curled, longing for something to hook onto. "The time I've spent with that boy was better than I ever expected. I really have a soft spot for Tino."
"Love can do that to you."
"I almost let him see me in this slip last month." Tish said dreamily, not feeling as embarrassed by that comment as she knew she should. She shook her head to clear out the daydreams. "But I'm no different than he is. And I won't make a commitment without knowing this is what I want. Not something this serious. I never want Tino to feel like he missed out on anything in life because of me."
"Well, that's certainly an uncomfortable situation you've gotten into. And how do you expect all this to affect Carver and Lor?"
"I'm expecting that there's going to be some damage to our group. There's no escaping that. But I'm not upset with anyone, not even Tino. I want us to all be together, but I know that's not the way things will happen. But if you talk to Tino at all, please tell him I don't hate him. He's still important to me, Dixon."
"I'll talk to him and his mom for you, try and make him understand the way you feel about all this. Will you be coming out at all to talk to him?" Dixon inquired.
"I could, but I'm afraid I'll excite him. I don't want him to get upset when he sees me, I want him to know that I care about him.
"I think that's a large part of what this is all about." Dixon agreed. "All right, Tish, we'll play it your way. I just hope this all works out for the best."
"So do I." Tish readily agreed. "Oh, one more thing."
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for listening to me tonight. I'm sure you had a lot of better things to do. That means a lot to me. You're a good guy, Dixon."
"I've never been able to resist a damsel in distress," Dixon laughed. He noted carefully that Tish giggled a bit, the first sound of mirth having been heard in her room for hours. Hopefully it was here to stay.
"Well, I guess this is my stop." Lor declared as she and Tino turned into her driveway. "You didn't have to walk me all the way home, though." Lor rolled her eyes.
"Probably not." Tino admitted. "But are you going to stand there and tell me you didn't want the company?"
"No." Lor sighed in defeat. "I'm glad you were with me, Tino, really I am. I know you've got your own romantic problems right now."
"Yeah, I didn't really wanna be alone either. Well, I did, it's just. . ."
"Misery loves company?" Lor smirked.
"That about covers it. So tell me, any idea what you're gonna do about the whole Thompson thing?"
"Well, I guess I know deep down I should try and forget him, so I'm probably going to do the opposite. I've never been one to take good advice. Are you gonna make up with Tish?"
"I. . .don't know. I want to, but I don't think it's gonna be that easy to do. She was pretty adamant about this whole thing."
"She'll get over it. It's Tish. She usually does."
"You're probably right." Tino agreed.
"When I'm feeling a little more like myself, I'll give you a call. Maybe a little pool will make me feel right again, get out the old frustration. And of course, there's always my brothers." She laughed.
"Sounds like a typical day at your house." Tino nodded.
"Wait a day or two, I'll invite you over for some breakfast. Unless you'd rather eat whatever it is your mom makes you eat."
"Oh no, I'll be all over it. Half the time I have to fight what my mom puts on the table anyway, so competing with your brothers will just be like practice."
"It's a plan then." She smiled under the porch light, still looking a mess yet strikingly beautiful. Even in its shabby, rain soaked state, just the fact that Lor was in something so feminine made her stand out. She placed her right hand on the doorknob, turning it halfway, then stopped. "Hey, Tino?"
"Yeah?"
"You came out there for me tonight, earlier. I told you off."
"Yeah."
"Why was it so important for you to talk to me?"
"Because I'm your friend. And friends are supposed to help each other, not shut each other out when we need them the most." Tino winced as he remembered how he had been rather short with Carver about his own problems earlier that same evening.
"You really are hopeless." She turned around and kissed him briefly on the cheek, a few cold drops of rainwater finding their way onto Tino's forehead burned the sensation into his mind. Lor blushed at her own action, wringing her hands in awkward embarrassment.
"What was that for?" Tino asked, also feeling a bit awkward about what had just happened.
"Every girl needs a prince, Tino. Even those of us who are too stubborn to admit it. I think tonight you were mine. Even if I wasn't a very good princess."
"Don't worry about it." Tino smiled. "It happens to the best of us. Me, I make a terrible princess."
Lor couldn't resist laughing at that line. "Goodnight, Tino." Lor returned his smile, then ruffled his hair. "I'll give you a call about breakfast when I'm up to it."
"You know my number!"
"Speed dial, number three!" Lor opened her door and stepped inside. "Seeya!"
"G'night, Lor!" As the MacQuarrie's front door closed on Lor's retreating figure, Tino noticed that the smile was still on his face. In fact, it remained there his entire walk home.
And here we have the end of the file. This is the Author's Notes section. Of course, since FFN decides to squash everything I write into one continuous file, some of the scene changes in these chapters can be disconcerting for my readers out there. I apologize for this. I wish I could say I had some remedy, but I have to work with what I have. For anyone who prefers, I can e-mail you a properly formatted chapter, just e-mail me with your requests. All of "Awakening" is written in standard Word 2003 files, chapter by chapter. See my contact info below for information on how to get these, if interested.
I want to thank everyone for being patient about having to wait a few extra days for this release. I've been very busy lately with all sorts of things, and also preparing for Otakon this upcoming weekend. Fortunately, this managed to get released before I go on my little vacation, so I won't have the guilt hanging over my head the entire time I'm in Baltimore.
I'll be honest, reviews were very slow and near non-existent for the last chapter when I first published it. I was rather surprised, considering the big breakup of Tino and Tish, I thought I would've gotten a bigger response, both joyful and forlorn. Fortunately, the reviews started picking up, and now I have a much better idea how my fans are feeling about not just what's going on with Tino and Tish, but on my epic story as a whole. Many of you are too kind, and it genuinely warms my heart to see you so moved. That's a large part of what this story is about, to make you, the reader, feel something. Even if you don't enjoy it, I want "Awakening" to invoke some kind of emotional response in you! Thanks for making it all worthwhile. Remember to keep telling me how I'm doing, as a review is my primary way of knowing whether I'm pleasing the public or letting you all down. Stroking the author's ego also makes him more productive, for those of you out there who feel that you can't get enough.
Anyway, the old man better stop with his ramblings or this file will never be finished. If anyone out there is going to Otakon, be sure to look for me. I should be wearing a white shirt featuring Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion on Friday. Saturday, I expect to have a black T-shirt with a white flyer taped to my back. (You'll know why if you see me). Panels I intend to make every effort to attend are the Fanfiction Panel and the Evangelion Panel. Feel free to tell me I need to update more!
Until next time,
Lord Malachite
7/28/04
2:33 AM, EST
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AIM: Asukaphile26
