Awakening: Third Stage
Chapter Fourteen
"Acceptance"
Sunday
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Something was wrong. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. What had happened to the stage? A full crowd was seated in the Globe Theater, clamoring to be entertained by those on the stage below. But the players around her were wrong, dressed not in the costumes of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream," but in jerseys, turning the stage into a court. Tish looked up into the crowd and began to notice the roar, the giant foam fingers, the people standing up and shouting down about unfair calls.
"What's going on here?" Tish asked, feeling lost and confused. From out of nowhere, she felt the basketball collide with her chest, and she embraced it out of instinct. The crowd went wild with Tish's recovery, but she stood dumbfounded, unsure what she should do. Feeling the eyes of all upon her, Tish began to bounce the ball, moving half-heartedly towards the center of the court. Guards moved in to block her, and she was forced to hold position, dribbling for her life, fearing she would lose her position. Realizing she was out of time, Tish jumped into the air and thrust the ball in the general direction of the basket. As it left her hands, the players and the audience vanished, leaving Tish alone. Blinking twice, Tish tried to regain a grip on what was going on.
The ball went wide, bounding of the backboard and bouncing back several feet. Tish did not give chase and the ball soon journey towards the stands, where a lone figure quickly took hold of it. She tossed it back and forth in her hands, testing it, and then began to dribble. "Lor?" Tish asked as the figure emerged from the shadows.
"Yeah, I'm back." Lor smiled. "Can't say I like what you've done with the place."
"I needed a break." Tish explained.
"Looks like you got it."
"Yeah. And now that I have it, I'm not sure it's what I wanted."
"Sometimes it's hard to know what you truly want." Lor offered.
"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon." Tish responded.
"So what are you going to do about the Tino situation?"
"What I have to." Tish sighed. "I have to protect him, protect us. Even if it means I lose, even if it breaks my heart. . .I couldn't bear it if I caused him to resent me, or to miss out on his big chance in life."
"Even if you hurt him."
"Hurting those we love is what we do. I'm only human. And if there's one thing humans excel at, it's hurting each other."
"Don't you think it's time you faced your fears?" Lor asked directly.
"I'm not afraid."
"Yes you are!"
"Shoot the ball!" Tish shouted.
Lor gave Tish a dark look before sinking an easy two point shot, stepping back to allow Tish to grab the rebound. Tish continued to bounce the ball hardly against the floor. "This has nothing to do with my fears, nothing to do our relationship!"
"Oh but it does!" Lor assured her. "The very same fears you bow down before as a slave."
"What's wrong with being afraid of hurting others?" Tish retorted. "I consider that to be a healthy fear."
"Fears are just something begging to use you, just an excuse not to live. We both no what this is really about, Tish. Tino was right about you."
"Leave Tino out of this!"
"Why? This is all about Tino, and you know it! This is rooted far deeper than your little relationship. No, it's much worse than that. This is something fundamental, something you're always going to have to deal with regardless of whether you two decide to make it as a couple or not. Tino pegged you perfectly, and you lashed out at him for it. You're just a blind fool, Tish, trying to attack what you don't understand."
"I don't understand why I'm talking to you, that's for certain. You know nothing about my feelings, nothing about my fears."
Lor chuckled heartily, feeling giddy in the moment. "Well if I'm so unnecessary, I leave you to your nature, Tish." And Lor willed herself away, leaving nothing but her reverberating laughter.
Tish slammed the basketball onto the ground for effect, allowing the echo to drown out the sound of Lor's mockery. She stepped off the basketball court and entered the hallway, passing the nurses and doctors scurrying through the halls with clipboards. Tish turned a corner and entered a door that read "Nursery." Unlocked, shabby security, but the hospital did look overwhelmed with bigger problems at the moment.
There weren't many newborns lying in the incubators, which probably accounted for the lack of a guard. Tish walked past each one, stopping to look at the tiny features and the names of the tags. A beautiful baby girl named Dot Cardigan was lying in one. She waved at the infant, dazzled at how cute and peaceful she looked, decidedly unfussy for someone so new to the unforgiving reality of the world. Every so often, Tish wondered to herself what it really felt like back when she was in the womb, and if she was feeling particularly distraught, she might even wonder if it was worth coming out.
Foolishness. Of course it was worth the pain. As fraught with struggle as life could be, she couldn't imagine existing without ever knowing the family and friends that helped to shape who she was becoming every day. Her gaze settled on another of the newborns, this one wearing a blue tag. The name simply read "T. T." A coincidence? No, Tish decided, giving the baby a closer inspection. It was there, in the eyes. He had Tino's eyes. Something about that fact saddened Tish, a sorrow that quickly turned to anger. How could anyone dare to have the timid yet hopeful eyes of Tino? She wouldn't stand for it. Tish ran to the cabinets on the side of the room, ripping them open and spilling their contents onto the floor until she found what she was looking for. Gripping it in her hands, she marched back to the position of the mysterious "T.T." like a soldier. "Nothing personal kid, but there's only going to be one Tino and the world, and he's mine." Tish gently lowered the pillow over the crying newborn and pressed until she felt the movement underneath stop.
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"This is not who I am!" Tish insisted, holding her head in her hands and shaking it back and forth. "Stop it!"
"Isn't it?" Tino whirled on her. "How could it not be?"
"I am incapable of such an act!" Tish cried. "I have to be?"
"Are you? Wasn't it you who killed me? Cut me to the heart? Shoved a knife through my personal feelings?"
"You're not Tino." Tish's eyes shot daggers at the figure.
"You foul, selfish, unnatural little brat! Just who do you think you are? You would be lost without me, probably locked in your room not wanting to come out like the frightened little ostrich you are!" Tino spat at her.
"Get out!" Tish screamed.
"No." Tino smiled devilishly, allowing his shape to slowly distort. "I do not wish to leave. But it occurs to me that it is high time for a change." Tino's form dissolved and coalesced into a mirror image of Tish. "There cannot be two of us." The figure now spoke with Tish's voice as well. "You'll have to go."
"Just try it!" Tish returned the challenge. "I'm not afraid of you."
"You should be." Her double hissed. "You need to learn proper respect." She lashed out at Tish, trying to slash the girl's face with her nails. Tish easily ducked her blow, pushing her double away while she was vulnerable. "You can't run forever."
"You're not as strong as you think. This is my mind, my heart. And I have the final say over who I become." Tish declared. "Now, disappear from my sight, before I do something unpleasant."
"You won't always have all the power." Tish's other screeched.
"Get out!" Tish hollered, and her world became a blinding white flash.....
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"Hey? Tino's Mom? Are you there?" Carver asked as he knocked on the front door of the Tonitini's home. Miss Tonitini opened up mere moments later, smiling. "Hi Carver, how are you?"
"Not bad, it's Sunday. Ask me tomorrow if you wanna hear the bad news. Tino still up in his room?"
"Hardly a peep out of him all morning. Like I said, I'm getting worried about him. I can understand he's upset, but he's got to deal with this sooner or later. And like it or not, he's going to end up seeing Tish again. He can't avoid her forever."
"I'm hoping they just patch this up real quick and get on like always. I don't think I can handle the stress of them not liking each other. It's totally against the unwritten rules."
"I thought their getting together in the first place was against the rules." Tino's mother smirked.
"Oh, it was, it was." Carver readily agreed. "But since they went ahead and did it anyway, now it's like they're under an obligation to stay together until they die. . .or at least until we all go off to college and our friendships break up or something."
"Ever the optimist I see." Miss Tonitini cocked an eyebrow.
"You just don't understand! Tino and Tish breaking up, it could somehow unravel the fabric of the space time continuum! The world as we know it could cease to exist! We could already be living in an alternate reality and not even know it! We must repair the rift!" Carver sank to his knees, his arms reaching towards the ceiling in desperation.
"Uh-huh. Well, I'm. . .going to see if Tino's alive enough for company." Tino's mother rolled her eyes and quickly ascended the steps. She knocked on her son's door, which brought forth a low wail from inside.
"Tino, sweetie, you can't hide from your problems forever. Look, Carver came to see you, he was worried."
"I'm not coming out." Tino insisted.
"You've got to eat sooner or later, Tino."
"That's your evil plan, isn't it? Get my strength back so I can start feeling the pain at full bore? No thank you!"
"We can order out. . ." Miss Tonitini said enticingly.
At that comment, Tino's door cracked ajar. "You don't mean that."
"I do, just this once, you can have whatever you like. If you want to order a pizza, that's fine."
"No!" Tino said quickly. "No pizza. Pizza. . .reminds me too much of her. Let's get some Chinese."
"Okay. You come down and talk to cover, decide what you want to get from the restaurant and I'll pick it up. Don't worry, I'll give you some time alone to talk."
"Like you won't know what we say anyway." Tino sulked.
His mother only smiled in response. "You know everything will work out in the end, Tino. That's the funny thing about life."
"Yeah? Well I'll let you know if I ever get there."
"Suit yourself." Miss Tonitini shrugged.
Tino dragged his disheveled person out of bed. After half-heartedly running a comb through his hair, he slowly journeyed down to the living room, shuffling one step at a time.
"Yo, T! Thank goodness you're up. Man, you look terrible! Guess it was a rough night, huh?" Carver asked.
"You might say that. Forgive me if I'm not myself." Tino replied.
"As long as you don't give up being nervous and paranoid."
"If anything, I think I'm moreso now." Tino sighed.
"Man, she did cut you deep, didn't she? What can I do?" Carver seemed genuinely concerned for his old friend.
"Let's just order our food. My mom's actually letting me order out, and don't think for a second I'm not going to take full advantage of it, Tish or no Tish. This will be the highlight of my week, Carver. And that is so depressing, I could almost cry."
"C'mon man, we're men here." Carver pleaded.
"I said almost. I'm past. . .the worst of it. I think. More like hope." Tino rolled his eyes.
"On the bright side, I find that food always helps. Let's order us up a Chinese meal for an emperor!"
"Do you use food to solve all your problems?" Tino rolled his eyes.
"Hey, comfort food is a part of basic survival. Why do you think we go that pizza place every week?!"
"I dunno, I just thought it was kind of traditional. Y'know, Tish and I had are first real date there. Did you know they have pasta on the menu too? You can pack in enough carbs to feed a football team! We used to have this little table in the back. . .we didn't even have to put in an order, they always knew what we wanted. I guess I was a creature of habit. But. . .I don't think I could go back there and order pasta again. It's just too painful man."
"T, I know this is going to sound kinda lame, but you've gotta let it go. I know how you feel about her, and I know you can't just stop feeling that way, but this is one thing you can't obsess over."
"I know, I know!" Tino pounded the dining room table. "But what am I supposed to do? Tish is my friend, she's always been my friend. I'm hurt, and I'm angry, but I don't want to lose her entirely. Even if we can't be a couple anymore. . .I won't always feel this hurt. And I don't want her and me to not be able to talk to each other."
"Then talk to her." Was all Carver could say. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a walkie talkie. "Tish, you should come in."
"Ok. . ." Tish replied hesitantly over the radio. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.
"You planned this?!" Tino was in shock.
"You guys have to start somewhere. Just talk. And listen." Carver moved to open the back door for Tish.
"I'm sorry sweetie, but this is for your own good." Tino's mother explained. "Carver and I will bring back dinner, okay? For four."
"Et tu, Mom?" Tino asked.
"You'll thank me later." She smiled.
As Miss Tonitini exited with Carver, Tish walked into the kitchen, clad all in purple, as she was wont. Both teens looked at each other rather sheepishly. "Hi." Tish said awkwardly.
"Hi." Tino responded without energy. "Um, you can sit."
"Thanks." Tish smiled weakly. Silence passed between them for over a minute. "Look, Tino. . .I don't know what it is I should say here, so I'm just going to try and muddle through. I'm sorry about last night. I was out of control. I never should've slapped you, and I'm really sorry about what I did. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you."
"Then why did you break up with me?!" Tino couldn't keep all the anger out of his voice.
"Because I care about you, and I don't want us to regret our time together later on. You know I care for you, Tino, I always have. Do you really think I like hurting you? Come on, you know me better than that."
"Tish, I told you I love you. Doesn't that count for something? Isn't that supposed to be like the hardest thing for a guy to do? Well I did it. I told the truth, because it felt good, and I thought it would make you feel good. Instead I get sucker punched in the gut and told we can't see each other anymore. So how am I supposed to feel?!"
"Hurt. Upset. Angry. Disappointed. I don't blame you for that, but what I want you to understand is that I have a purpose in doing this, and it isn't to cause you pain." Tish admonished.
"You say you want me to see other people." Tino declared. "Okay, let's say I do that. What if I don't want to be with them. What if I want to be with you?"
"I didn't say we could never date again Tino. If you can honestly tell me you've seen other people and taken them seriously, I wouldn't be averse to getting back together then. Because I intend to see other people too, Tino. I don't want us to make a mistake. Can't you just have a little faith that if we're really supposed to be together, we will be?"
"Tish. . .Tish, you just keep rationalizing this. This is like skydiving! There's no reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane!"
"Think of the feeling when you make a safe landing. It's like being on top of the world. Er, so I've heard." Covered Tish.
"You've actually been skydiving?" Tino couldn't believe it.
"No! But, check with Dixon sometime. He gives a really good account of this one time he did. Anyway, Tino. I came here to make sure that no matter what happens, we manage to stay friends."
"I. . .don't know if I can do that right now, Tish. I'm really hurting here."
"What would it take to make this right?"
"Tish, I need to know what you really feel. Break up or no, I need to know what you think about me."
"Tino, this isn't right. I don't want to complicate things any worse than they are."
"Come on, Tish, you owe me this. I like to think that after all this time I know you. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me how you feel."
"You really want to do this?" Tish looked worried. Tino nodded without hesitation. "All right then." Tish sighed. She took a deep breath, and twined her left hand with Tino's. She gulped, almost audibly, then stared deeply into Tino's eyes, trying to find in them the feelings she really had. "I feel that you're my best friend." Tish whispered as his eyes looked back at hers. "I care for you, you're one of the most important people in the world to me. And I can sense your feelings too."
"You know how I feel." Tino looked away for only a moment.
"Yes. I do. And I. . .I. . ."
"You what?" Tino pleaded.
Tish looked up, pushing forward and getting nose to nose with her best friend. Their eyes locked in anticipation. Resisting the urge to cry outright, Tish settled on containment and allowed herself to tear up quietly. "I don't love you." She whispered. Tish refused to meet his look, feeling a mixture of shame and betrayal keeping her from looking directly at her friend.
"I see." Was all Tino could say. "I guess that's really all there is then."
"I'm sorry." Tish wept. "It's not you, Tino. It's me. That's part of the reason I feel we should take a break. I need to figure some stuff out for myself. But I know how you feel, and that means more than anything to me. I won't ever forget that, no matter what. I promise."
"I guess I should be grateful it means something." Tino sighed in endless frustration.
"Ouch. Tino, please don't make me the villain here."
"I'm gonna miss you, Tish. But I think you should go. If I'm going to get over you, I have to stop basking in your presence. Funny, isn't it. Even when I'm so angry and hurt over you I could scream, I still just want to sit next to you."
Tish winced but offered no response to the comment. She couldn't even begin to. "I'll go." Tish nodded gently. "But before I do. . ." Tish reached up to her brow, undoing the purple hairclip to her right. "I want you to keep this. You keep one, I'll keep the other. And if we're supposed to be together, then it will happen, please believe in that. But as long as we each keep these. . .we'll always have something to remind us of our connection, the things we've shared. And I hope we can still be friends when you're ready."
"I don't know what's going to happen, Tish. But if it will get you back to me, I'll do what you want. But I'm not giving up on you yet. Somehow, I'm going to win you back."
Tish sniffled a little. "I always was a sucker for those knights in shining armor."
"Even the foolish ones?" Tino asked, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him.
"The foolish ones were the most noble of all." She couldn't cry! Not here, not in front of him like this!. She had to go before she humiliated herself. "I should go. . ."
"Please, wait!" Tino grabbed Tish's arm, gently pulling her toward him. "Don't go out that door." Tino pleaded. "Even if you don't love me now. . .I can wait. Just don't leave me like this."
There was no point in hiding the tears any longer. Against her better judgment, she allowed herself the indulgence, failing to resist the urge to wrap her arms around Tino's neck, a caress that seemed like second nature to her. "I can't stay." Tish cried gently. "It's not fair to you. There are other flavors in this world besides me. Don't waste your time with just the one this early in the game. You can always come back for seconds, later."
"It's my time to waste." Tino shook his head.
"And my heart to hold onto."
He kissed her then, and she didn't resist him. It was slow and soft and sweet and Tish couldn't recall feeling so secure since she was but an infant in her mother's arms. With all the willpower she could find, she extricated herself from the lip lock, and set herself back on her own two feet, not recalling when she had left them. "I need to go. Please stop making it harder than it already is."
"How can you kiss me like that and tell me you don't feel anything!" Tino shouted. "What is with you Tish? I know you felt that!"
"I did." Tish nodded. "But Tino. . .sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. One last memento, for all the nights. I. . .I guess I'll see you in school. Goodbye, Tino." Tish took one long, last look before stepping out the backdoor. Once off the porch, she ran all the way home, leaving Tino once again to figure out how he was supposed to stop feeling the way he did about his best friend.
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Hi again folks, it's just your friendly author. This time I'm a whole week late. What I regret the most is that while I feel this chapter is good, it could've been better. I just wasn't in the zone this time, and for that I apologize. But it's reached a point that I'm so far behind schedule, I'm more concerned with getting the chapter out than waiting another week to try and perfect it. I can always rewrite it later, anyways!
It's good to be back in the saddle. This chapter was a nightmare to write for reasons I don't fully comprehend, and I'm still not completely satisfied with how it's turned out. But at least I finally managed to turn the finished product in.
Thanks all of you who continue to come up with such glowing reviews. It warms my heart to see your reactions to my little story, like I'm really sharing something important with you all. I humbly ask that you all keep writing in, even if you don't like a chapter or scene or idea. I just enjoy hearing from you.
Most importantly, I'm now working on a two chapter project which will recap the story with both previous footage and brand new "retro footage" of scenes that happened but which you've never got to see. The real surprise is that not all of this material is written by me, but I've enlisted the help of some of the more prominent Weekenders authors and fans for this project. If you have something you would like to contribute, please get in touch with me via e-mail or AIM and we'll work something out.
Shameless plug alert! I'm also going to take a moment to point out there's another great story in the works by Lord Canti, the God of Weekenders Fanfiction himself. Some of you may not have noticed, since it's rated R and FFN defaults the categories to only display stories that are G, PG, and PG-13 rated. But if you're in the mood for something new and exciting (and a bit mature, mind you), go look for "Baskets For Bucks Redux" by Lord Canti. You can find it simply by changing the rating filter in the category screen, or by doing an author search for him. Enjoy!
As always, send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:
Lord Malachite
09/11/04
3:32AM, EST
E-mail:
AIM: Asukaphile26
