Chapter 1 – A Million Pieces

A/N: This story is based on a real experience that happened to me, however seeing as I do not live at Hogwarts, none of the places are going to be the same kinda thing as what they really were in my life. Harry is based on me, Ron is based on the little bastard who stabbed me in the back, his pen-name is RQ, don't read his stuff unless ur gonna flame him coz he don't deserve it. Also, this story has one of my characters, named Raechel (originated from one of my other stories). She is based on the girl I was going out with, obviously. She too is on fanfic, her pen-name is Jazmaine-, but don't flame her, she's still cool. Just about everyone in this is based on sum1 involved in the real incident. Another of my own characters is in here too, created simply for this story, her name is Sarah.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except the extreme amount of anger currently storing up inside me, and the two characters specified above.

Harry sat in the councilor's office, looking distantly out the window. He could see Ron and Raechel at the top of the steps outside. Raechel seemed a little anxious about something, and Harry guessed it was because of the fact that he was being interrogated by a random 'qualified' adult about problems that weren't even his. For what seemed like the millionth time in ten minutes, Harry tried to explain.

"I told you, it's not me with the problems. I'm worried about a friend. They're depressed and won't talk to me about it."

"What have you tried to do about the situation? Have you tried to talk to them? Have you told them that you are worried?"

Harry had had enough. "Of course I have, you stupid bitch! Why else would I be concerned? Do you think I'd go running for cover if I hadn't done anything?"

With that he stormed out of the councilor's office.

Once outside, he found he'd left his bag inside. As he turned to go back, he saw Ron watching him intently. So it was that they were worrying. He hated that. He retrieved his bag and went outside again. This time he found Ron and Raechel waiting for him. Ron hurriedly excused himself and said he'd catch up with Harry later.

On any other day, this would have alerted Harry's suspicions, but Harry, still worried sick about Sarah, wasn't aware that something was out of the ordinary.

"What's up?" he asked her.

"I'm ok," she replied quietly. This time Harry caught something. He straightened up.

"No seriously, what's wrong?" he asked concernedly.

She took a deep breath. "I don't think that this is working…"

Whatever Harry had been expecting, it wasn't this. "What?"

"I just… don't think I can keep going."

Harry's heart shattered into a billion pieces right then and there. He couldn't look at her, so instead he stared at the ground for a while.

After a minute, the awkward silence became too much for Raechel. "Now would be a good time to say something?"

He remained silent.

"Anything? Please?"

At last Harry muttered that he understood. Raechel let out a small gasp that Harry couldn't quite work out the meaning of and gave him a quick hug before hurrying off.

Harry instantly swung himself around and began walking swiftly towards the Owlery. He had been through a lot of shit in his life, and now he felt that he had nothing left to make him feel human anymore. As he rounded a corner, he almost ran headlong into Ron. Harry made to go around him, but he blocked the way.

"Harry don't you even think about it!"

"Too late, now move."

"I'm not gonna let you do it!" Ron warned him.

"You don't have to," replied Harry, and he pushed right past Ron and headed off again. After a moment he noticed that Ron was following him. He started running, pushing past the crowds of people trying to get back to their dorms. Eventually he got to the Owlery, and he shut the door behind him. He dropped his bag and ran over to the window. He stood there, ready to give up his life.

But he made the mistake of allowing himself to cry for the first time in a year. Ron burst into the room and put himself between Harry and the window. Harry tried to dodge around him, to get back to his escape from the pain, but Ron wouldn't budge.

"I told you, you're not going anywhere."

Harry pushed off Ron ad tried again to get around him, but Ron threw him back away.

"Don't do it man."

"Yeah and why the fuck do you care? You just wanted your shot at her, this just wasn't part of the plan! You NEVER cared! You don't now! Just fuck off and let me do this!" Harry raged against Ron, but the other boy was stronger, and once again held him back.

"You shut the fuck up and listen to me! I do care, and I swear, if you do this, I will be devastated! Now, get your arse back to the common room and just give yourself some time. The pain will go away."

"You don't understand it Ron! She wasn't just another crush, she was different! They say you just know when you meet the right person, and I knew!"

"Look, please, just come back! Hermione, Parvati, Dean, Sarah and Lavender are all really worried! They saw you coming up here and they knew what you were going to do!"

In the end Harry gave in. He allowed Ron to steer him back to the common room, with Ron gripping his arm tightly every time they came to a window. Harry went straight up to his dorm, leaving Ron to deal with his friends, and collapsed onto his bed. He pulled out a knife and slit his wrist not less than three times before putting it back and crying himself into an uneasy sleep, filled with nightmares.

A/N: Well there you go guys, chapter number 1, expect a new one fairly soon, but you MUST REVIEW! (please).