Ok, finally, here is the next chapter! Yeah, it took a while but that's coz I've been busy and so has my friend who is very kind and betas my fics for me! Thanks frog!
Anyway…I like this chapter a little bit better than the first (which isn't great) but I still don't know about it.I'm also not sureabout how the characters came out in this chapter but yeah i'll just shut up.Chapter 3 however, is better than both of these so….
Summary: It wasn't fair. He had lost everyone. He'd lost everyone he'd ever loved.
Chapter 2 - Misery
Remus was reading a book. He was relaxing in a large, squishy armchair in the study of 12 Grimmauld Place, a large, dusty volume that, if it had been under normal circumstances, he would have enjoyed it immensely. But it wasn't normal circumstances and he wasn't reading. The book was just for show, positioned perfectly, just in case Molly or Tonks or anyone looked in to check on him.
Shifting his position slightly, his eyes caught a word on the page. "Death". He stared at it solemnly. It had been two weeks since Sirius' death. Fourteen bloody days since he'd seen the only man he'd ever loved fall to his death through the damned veil. Sure everyone was shocked and upset about it, especially Harry, but nobody, not anyone could possibly be feeling what he felt now.
He felt numb. Numb, like he couldn't feel anything, that nothing mattered anymore. The world looked grey, like his eyes had forgotten what colour was. Now Sirius wasn't there to share his life with him, he felt lost.
A sigh escaped his lips and he sat the book on the arm of the chair, carefully shut and bookmarked. It was an old habit, one that he had never managed to get Sirius to pick up. He remembered the countless number of times he had had to remind his lover to shut the book properly instead of just placing it down open, and each time Sirius would say some witty remark in reply. They'd both end up laughing in the end.
Making his way over to the window, he felt a slight twinge in his heart. By now you would have thought he would be used to them, he seemed to think about Sirius every day, but every new memory, every thought brought a new spark of agony, more tears.
He remembered the first few days after Sirius' death, he couldn't even move. He'd lain on his bed, staring at the wall as if Sirius would suddenly appear out of it. He couldn't even cry. That had come later, sometimes in silent tears slipping slowly from his eyes, sometimes in great sobs that racked out of him and echoed around his room. But now, now all the shock had gone and he was finally managing to realise Sirius was never going to come back. It still hurt to think about him, yet he was all he could think about.
As he stared out the window, watching the rain in a gloomy sadness, he wondered if he'd ever see the sun again. Ever since he had gotten himself up out of bed, at last, a couple of days ago, it had done nothing but rain since. Now, as he watched the ripples of water in a large puddle near the window, he half expected to hear some sad violin playing in the background. It would then, of course, strike a happier tune and he would look up to see Sirius running towards him, his arms over his head in an attempt to stop the rain hitting him, only to disappear again into nothing.
Remus rested his head against the cool glass. It wasn't fair. He had lost everyone. He'd lost everyone he'd ever loved. His parents, James and Lily, Peter had betrayed him, betrayed them, and now…now Sirius. Could his life get any worse?
He saw the memory of Sirius's last moments flicker through his mind again. A solitary tear slid down his cheek as he thought back to how he had reacted. In his eyes he could still see him falling, still see himself holding Harry back, telling him Sirius was dead. How calm he had seemed, it hadn't settled in until the next morning. Once he had arrived back at Grimmauld place afterwards he had successfully avoided any questions and slowly found his way to his room where he had burst into shameful giggles. He had been so sure it was all just a game; that Sirius was just messing with him. Sitting on his bed, laughing, he had convinced himself that he would see Sirius the next morning.
Oh how wrong he had been. How bloody stupid. Of course Sirius wouldn't come back. He was dead, damn it. Suddenly he felt anger rising up within him and his eyes narrowed. Reaching out his arm, he grabbed the nearest thing that came to his hand and threw it across the room. How dare Sirius leave him in a world like this? How dare he? Especially when he had promised he wouldn't. The object hit the opposite wall and smashed. Before Remus knew it, hot fierce tears were streaming down his face and he sank to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest.
Time seemed to pass slowly, like everything was in slow motion. He heard movement in one of the rooms above and found himself shaking uncontrollably every time he heard footsteps on the stairs. A few seconds later, or hours as it seemed to Remus, the door flew open and Molly rushed in.
Remus looked up at her, tears still glistening in his eyes. She looked from Remus to the book lying on the chair to the smashed object on the floor. Remus found himself wondering what it was he had thrown in his anger and what he would say to Molly, should she ask him why. Then he realised he had no answer to either of them.
"Remus." She sighed, before crossing the room quickly. "Oh Remus." She put her arms around him and hugged him like she would one of her children.
They sat like that for a long time. Remus curled up against the wall with Molly's arm around his shoulders, comforting him to some degree. Tears still slipped occasionally from his eyes but mostly he just sat in a dead state, Molly's hand on his back being the only feeling he felt. His anger at Sirius had cooled as quickly as it had come and left him with that numb, empty void he was so used to.
"I'm sorry Molly." It was the first words he had spoken in days and they sounded odd to his ears as he said them. "I'm sorry. You were busy, I didn't mean to keep you from whatever you were doing. You shouldn't have to worry about me. I shouldn't be crying."
She looked at him. "Remus. I don't mind. It's natural to feel what you're feeling when you lose someone as close to you as Sirius was. In fact I would be more worried if you weren't acting like this."
Remus gave her a weak smile and a slight nod. Then, with a soft pat on his shoulder, she left him.
After half an hour of sitting in the same position thinking over the last few weeks, Remus found himself crouching over the broken pieces of china on the floor. They lay scattered about the place seeming, to him, like a living illustration of his breaking heart, pieces lying everywhere, some too small to be found. He couldn't make out what it was, at first. Not until he saw the unmistakable yellow eye that stared up at him from the top of the pile he had made from the pieces on the rug.
He froze, staring back at it like a rabbit might at an oncoming car, then slowly he reached out a hand and brought the piece closer. It was a wolf's eye. The eye from the statue of a wolf curled up under the moonlight that Sirius had given him last Christmas. As he held the piece to his chest, a tiny tear slipped from his eye.
'Oh Sirius!' He said silently, 'I didn't mean too! I didn't… it just… I was… I just… I'm sorry! I'll fix it. Yeah… I'll fix it.' Hastily he scrambled closer to the pile on the rug, trying so hard to fit pieces back together. But no pieces seemed to want to fit. He sat down heavily on the floor, growling slightly in frustration and refusing to cry, trying to remind himself that he was still a 35 year old man and not a little boy.
The sound of the door opening behind him made him jump. Roughly wiping the tears that had been forming in his eyes away with his sleeve, he sat still, looking down at the piece in his hands. He had a feeling he knew who it was.
"Good afternoon, Lupin." Sneered a familiar voice.
Remus looked up at the intruder of his peace. Just who he had suspected, the one person he didn't want to deal with at that moment.
"Severus." He acknowledged dully.
He glanced down at the broken ornament at his feet and felt tears come to his eyes, again. He forcefully blinked them away, he wasn't about to cry in front of Snape, not now, not ever.
"I was told by Molly that you were here." Remus returned his gaze to the man at the door. "Dumbledore sent me to tell you that he wants you to be present for the meeting tonight."
Snape paused for a second, giving Remus a mocking once over look. "You aren't crying over that damn dog again, are you?" he mocked.
At this comment, the wolf in Remus stirred to the challenge, growling in warning. He kept his mouth shut and focused on the pile on the floor. Remus wasn't sure how much damage this situation could cause, especially after the amount of stress and grief he'd been under recently. And with the full moon so near…he hoped Snape would just leave him alone.
"You are, aren't you!" Snape gloated in an almost childlike manner.
Again, Remus said nothing, all his concentration going into keeping himself from retaliation.
Snape knew he should stop now before he went too far, but Black had caused him too much grief for far to long. Now it was his chance.
"I can't believe you're still moping around, mourning after that fleabag. If I were you - which, by the way, I'm glad I'm not - I would have killed myself ages ago. He's dead, Lupin, he wont come back. Get over it!"
Remus winced rather obviously at Snape's words. They pierced through the defenses he'd built up after Sirius' death and almost made him lose his concentration. Dimly, in the back of his mind, he found himself wondering what Sirius would say at his situation, Remus on his knees before Snape.
That last thought brought with it another bout of anger. How dare Snape mock him about his best friend's death. How dare he stand there and laugh while Remus knelt before the broken pieces of his heart. His concentration broke and the wolf seized it's chance. An agonising howl escaped his lips and he rose heavily to his feet. Everything slowed and Remus watched himself lunge angrily at the greasy-haired man before him.
"DON'T you EVER laugh at me again! Don't you dare mock Sirius EVER!" He swung his fists wildly at Snape's hooked nose. "Don't you ever… I swear! If you do I'll hurt you SO bad you'll wish it was you that had died! And then you'll be sorry! You'll be SORRY!" Remus screamed in anger before he found himself flying halfway across the room.
Regaining his footing, he lunged forward again. But the side of his head collided with Snape's fist and he teetered for a second before he lost his balance. He heard many footsteps thundering down the stairs in the hall as he blacked out.
To be continued……….
Pwease pwease pwease review! Even if you hate it! Some feedback would be nice and greatly appreciated.
Next chapter: The story gets a plot! And we hear from Peter.
