Title: Domestic Battleground
Rating: T – not suitable for younger children, because I have a dirty mind.
Summary: The Doctor promised Jackie he'd take Rose back for special occasions. But a whole week with her family? Will he survive, and more importantly, will Rose?
Notes: Day Five. Rehearsal, chips and drunkenness.
Day Five
"Right, so you're here," Julie said distractedly. "And Michelle, you're here. You in pain?"
"No, Mum," Michelle said patiently, rolling her eyes. Bella gave her an absent smile. "I've got my meds, anyway."
"Yes, of course," Julie nodded. "Jeff, where's Mandy? She and Anna need to get into position…"
She drifted away to find the errant family. Rose took the opportunity to perch on a pew. She hoped the wedding itself wouldn't be this tiring.
"Humbug?"
Rose pulled a sweet from the paper bag the Doctor offered her. "S'not fair," she muttered. "You get to sit there doing nothing while I have to march up and down that bleeding aisle."
"In that dress," he added. "You could've said no, you know."
"No, I couldn't," she sighed, watching her mum. "At least this way Mum won't hark on about me getting married for at least another…year or so? Maybe?"
The Doctor shifted. "Hmm."
Rose didn't catch the emotion that flickered across his face, too busy watching Tommy and Mark pull a songbook to pieces.
"Yeah, well," she shrugged. "She's a mother, y'know?" She held out her hand for another humbug, but he kept the bag out of her reach. She settled for taking his hand instead. "Rehearsal wedding, rehearsal dinner," she murmured. "No point to it, if you ask me."
"We didn't," Jackie snapped from behind her. Rose turned guiltily. "And if you're finished mucking about with your boyfriend, you're needed. We're doing the walk. Come on!" She eyed the Doctor as if he were something she'd much rather tread on than speak to, and went to the other side of the church.
"Yeah, yeah," Rose muttered, rising and brushing her hand against the Doctor's cheek. "Be back in a bit. Behave," she cautioned.
"What could I do in here?" he demanded.
"I dunno, but you'd find something," she called back over her shoulder, making her way to the doors of the church where Bella, Izzy, Sandy, Michelle and Anna had already gathered. There were to be six bridesmaids – Bella not being able to choose between her cousins – and six groomsmen, only three of which were cousins. The other three were Stephen's brothers.
"C'mon," Bella said impatiently as Rose sidled up. "You're with Chris – Izzy, you've got Tim. Josh and Sandy together. Anna, Michelle, you're with Ron and George." She ushered them towards the younger two of her fiancé's brothers. Rose found herself next to a tall man in his early twenties, with green eyes that hinted at mischief.
"Hiya," she greeted quietly. "Chris, right? Stephen's brother."
"And you're the infamous Rose," Chris nodded. "You disappeared for a year."
Rose didn't even blush at it anymore. "Yeah. I did." She faced the front of the church. She noticed that the Doctor was paying attention now, his eyes moving between her and Chris. She frowned. What was his deal? she asked herself silently.
"Ready?" Julie called from the altar. "And –"
Someone had brought a tape player and was playing the Wedding March. Chris took her arm and Rose followed Izzy down the aisle, trying not to look as silly doing this as she felt, dressed in ratty old jeans and a tank top.
"I hate weddings," Chris said conversationally. "I've done two of these – one for Tom, my oldest brother, and one for my cousin. They're never any good."
"The reception's always fun," Rose pointed out. "Cake and champagne."
"I guess," Chris agreed. "Stephen said something about you travelling?"
"Shh," Bridget hissed from somewhere. Chris and Rose sat down and watched Bella and Stephen as they went through a mock version of the ceremony.
When it was over, Rose stood up, intent on returning to the Doctor. Chris stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Wait – what's the rush?" he asked. "The parents'll want to do this again, and I've heard some interesting things about you."
Rose shrugged one shoulder, smiling faintly. "Like what?" she wanted to know.
"Oh, I dunno. I heard something about you going to Downing Street one time – Bella was pulling my leg a bit, I reckon."
Rose gave a fake smile. "Yeah, 'course. Look, I'd better go. The Doctor'll cause trouble soon."
"I won't."
Rose jumped nearly half a foot off the floor and glared at him. "Don't do that," she said shrilly. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
The Doctor merely shrugged. "Not likely," he responded. "Who's your friend?"
"I'm Chris," the groomsman said with an easy smile. "Stephen's brother. You must be…the Doctor, right?" He held his hand out. The Doctor ignored it. Rose's eyes widened in disbelief.
"Oh my god," she said incredulously. "You're not –" He glanced at her. "You are!" She laughed. "I don't believe it!"
The Doctor bristled. "I'm going for a walk," he said, folding his arms. "Want chips?"
That stilled her. "Sure," she said slowly. "Let's go." She turned to her mother. "Mum, we're off," she called.
"Oh no you're not," Jackie said, looking up from helping the twins. "We're still rehearsing, and there's the lunch too."
Rose shook her head. "We need to get out," she told her mother quietly. "We'll be back after lunch, yeah?"
Jackie glanced between Rose and the Doctor. The Doctor was obviously uncomfortable, and as much as she disliked him, she wasn't that cruel.
"Alright, go," she allowed. "But call if you're gonna be later than three, alright?"
"Alright," Rose agreed, taking the Doctor's hand and steering them around the family to leave the church.
They had chips when one or other of them was upset and needed to talk, but didn't want to come straight out and talk. They'd started the tradition after she'd seen the end of the Earth, and somehow it had stuck. They'd had chips after the encounter with the Dalek; after he'd nearly sacrificed himself for her; after she'd managed to single-handedly end a war in one day.
She still didn't know how she'd done that.
She ate her chips, watching the pigeons as they waddled across the tarmac, picking at crumbs left behind by children. They were sitting on swings in the park she'd come to the other day, when she'd run off.
"Life's weird," she said randomly. Their conversations at times like these always started with random comments. It was a roundabout way of getting to the point. "I mean…look at those birds. We're always wondering what the point of life is – why we're here. Humans, I mean. And then look at the birds. They don't know why they're here. Probably don't care. So why do we?"
"The human quest for self-betterment," the Doctor said absently. "Or no, wait, that's Star Trek…"
Rose grinned. "S'the same thing, really."
"Yeah." The Doctor licked some ketchup from his finger. "Blimey, but your family's weird."
"You only just noticed this?" she inquired dryly.
"Nah. They're just weirder than normal, today," he retorted, grinning. "Did you see the twins?"
"Nah, what'd they do?" she asked.
"They were trying to see the top of the organ," he informed her. "So decided to try climbing up the walls."
Rose laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like them," she nodded. She shook her bag of chips to spread the salt more evenly. "I'm surprised they've never broken a bone," she added, then looked at him speculatively. "Actually, I'm surprised you haven't broken a bone, in all the time I've known you."
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Your broken wrist was bad enough, thanks."
"That wasn't my fault," she reminded him. "Stupid sinkholes."
"Hmm." He sounded disbelieving. He finished his chips and chucked the empty bag into a nearby bin. "Good chips."
"Yeah." Rose, doubting her throwing ability, chose to crumple her bag and shove it in a pocket. "I needed that. Hungry work, walking around."
"Yep." He started swinging gently. "Big thing, this wedding, isn't it?"
"Bella's the first to get married," Rose nodded, swinging as well. "S'got all the aunts happy." She looked sideways at him. "I liked Chris," she commented lightly.
"Really?" The Doctor stopped swinging. "You do have tragic taste in men."
She raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"I mean, Jimmy Stones – he was a git."
"When did you ever meet Jimmy Stones?" she asked suspiciously.
"And then Mickey," the Doctor continued, ignoring her question. "Alright, not a complete idiot, but the things he ate!"
"That saved Mum's life," Rose pointed out.
"Then Adam – well, the less said about him, the better! And now this Chris bloke."
"You don't have any reason to be jealous," she said matter-of-factly.
The Doctor snorted. "Me? Jealous? Please." He waved a hand as if dismissing the very idea.
"Greener than a tree," she remarked, slowing her swing. "Wanna tell me why?"
The Doctor sulked for a full minute before answering. "They're human," he said at last. "They're normal." He shrugged. "You'd be safer, staying here."
Rose took a deep breath before replying. "You stupid idiot," she said bluntly. "You think I want safe or normal?" She shook her head. "Were you even listening to me yesterday in the garden?"
"Maybe you're wrong to want to come with me," he countered.
"Maybe I should decide that," she said quietly. "Why's all this coming up again, Doctor?" He shrugged again. She slipped off her swing and went to stand in front of him, cupping his face in her hands. "It's because of us, isn't it?" He wouldn't meet her eyes. "Well, you can't leave me here," she said after a moment.
"Oh?"
"You promised. Not until I ask you to leave, remember?" She put her hands on her hips. "Well, I'm not asking. In fact, I'm telling you to take me with you." Rose gave a small smile. "I couldn't do without you," she admitted. "I love you."
The Doctor groaned and a moment later his arms were around her waist. "I'm so glad I met you," he muttered. "I love you, Rose."
"Good thing," she murmured. "'Cos you're stuck with me."
Tim clapped his hands together. "Alright!" he said loudly. "Can all grownups and kids please vacate the premises!"
Josh snorted. "You sound like an idiot," he told his cousin. "Does the Doctor count as an adult?"
"Not hardly," Sandy said at once. "Look at him!" The three cousins looked towards the corner of the room, where Rose and her boyfriend were having great fun apparently trying to find each other's tonsils.
Tim grinned. "Yeah, well. Sandy, make sure the parents are gone, yeah?" Sandy left the sitting room. "Don't forget the kids, too," Tim called after her. The adults and the younger cousins were being thrown out of Julie's flat for the evening for Bella's pre-marital fun.
Bella and Izzy came in, carrying a large cardboard box.
"Forfeits and things," Izzy declared. "Rose, get a room!"
Rose rested her forehead against the Doctor's. "We're being summoned," she said softly. "Save this for later, yeah?"
"Promise." They joined the others in the centre of the room. Rose raised an eyebrow when she saw what was there.
"How drunk are we planning on getting?" she asked.
"Very," Izzy grinned. "Right…Tim, you're there…and Sandy next to you. Then Josh – put the phone away, Josh, or I'm flushing it – then Rose and the Doctor. Bella, you sit in the armchair, yeah?" She sat herself down between the Doctor and Bella.
"So what're we doing?" Rose asked, settling down on the sofa with the Doctor. She watched Tim as he mixed cocktails. "Anyone want to clue me in?"
"We're starting with 'I Never'," Sandy grinned. "Bella gets to go first." Tim handed out martinis and shot glasses. A bottle of tequila and one of vodka went onto the coffee table.
Bella made a face. "Right. Everyone remember how to play?"
"Remind me," Rose said. "I haven't played that in ages."
"Someone says something they never did," Tim said. "Everyone who's done that thing takes a drink. And honesty is the best policy."
"For everyone else, at least," Josh chimed in, grinning. "C'mon, Bella."
Bella thought for a moment. "Alright. I…never had a crush on a teacher."
Izzy snorted and watched with amusement as Josh, Sandy and Rose all took the first drink of the evening.
"Tell," she demanded.
"Not this sober!" Rose said swiftly.
"I was eight," Sandy shrugged. "Not my fault." She looked at Josh expectantly. Josh shook his head.
"I'll start talking after I'm drunk," he told them. "You can get enough embarrassing things out of me then! Tim, your turn."
"Alright." The second-oldest cousin was sitting on the floor, cross-legged. He grinned suddenly. "I never nearly exploded a cat," he announced.
Rose gave a shriek of outrage. "You bastard!" she declared. "You swore you wouldn't tell!"
"I didn't," Tim grinned. "Take a drink, girl." Grumbling, Rose obeyed, ignoring the Doctor's badly hidden mirth.
"What happened?" Bella demanded.
"We were mucking about with fireworks," Tim explained when it was obvious that Rose wasn't going to. "And there was this stray cat that wouldn't leave us alone – it had fleas, and everything! So Rose had the bright idea of scaring it off by attaching a firework to its tail."
"I was only eleven," Rose offered in her defence. "And the cat was alright…mostly." She smiled in memory. "Half its tail was singed, remember?"
"Oh yes," Tim nodded. "I remember that old lady yelling at us both for cruelty to animals. Sandy, your turn."
"I never broke a bone," the girl said promptly. Rose, Josh, Tim and the Doctor all drank. "Rose, when did you –"
"Last year," Rose said. "My wrist." She held the limb aloft. "S'fine now." She grimaced. "Don't tell Mum, yeah?"
"I never wore my sister's underwear," Josh pronounced. Tim went bright red.
"What happened?" Izzy asked, grinning.
"I was really, really drunk," he said pathetically, drinking. "And let's never talk about it again. Rose, your go."
Rose looked speculatively around the circle. "I never…Ooh! I never flashed on the London Eye."
Izzy drank sheepishly. "You dared me," she accused. "And it was only for a moment." She looked at the Doctor, who looked highly amused at the drinking game. "Your turn."
"I never pissed someone off after only ever saying two words to them," the alien said after a moment.
"You liar," Rose accused.
"The shortest was three words," he said smugly. "Drink up, Rose." Scowling, Rose drank, as did Bella. "How'd you do that?" the Doctor wanted to know.
"The first time I met Stephen? I called him an arrogant pig." She grinned. "He chucked his crisps over me, he was so mad. Worked out alright, though."
"I never had a one-night stand," Izzy announced. Tim, Sandy, Josh and Rose drank. So, after a moment, did the Doctor.
"Ha! I knew it!" Rose crowed. "Anyone I knew?"
"No," he said uncomfortably. "What about you?"
Rose had the decency to blush. "Well…technically it was a one night stand, 'cos I only slept with him the once…"
"Adam?" The Doctor shook his head. "Crazy, you are," he pronounced.
"I never travelled outside Europe," Bella said. Tim, Rose and the Doctor drank.
"I think you're trying to get me drunk," Rose said, looking round at the cousins.
"Yup," Izzy grinned. "Drunk enough, you might tell us where you've been."
Rose looked at the Doctor, then shrugged. "Ah well. Bring it on."
"I never went skinny-dipping," Tim said.
Rose stared. "You kidding me? You? You've done everything once!"
"Not skinny-dipping," Tim shook his head. "I notice you're drinking to that, Rose." Rose grinned and watched as Bella, Izzy and the Doctor also drank.
Rose giggled and slumped against the Doctor. "It was so funny," she slurred. "An' he was…" She couldn't finish, too busy giggling. The Doctor rolled his eyes and put his arm around her to stop her rolling off the sofa.
Tim lifted his head from the ground. "I think it's bedtime," he said dazedly.
"Yup," Izzy hiccupped. She pushed herself out of her chair, arms wind-milling wildly to keep from falling over. "Sandy…" Sandy was snoring on the floor. Izzy shrugged. "Sleep there," she nodded. "Tim an' Josh, go t'the twins bedroom." She watched, laughing, as Josh and Tim tried to help each other up. "Bella an' me in her room."
"And where're Rose and I?" the Doctor asked. He was the most sober of the lot.
"Mum's bedroom," Bella slurred. "Night-night."
"Right." The Doctor carefully eased Rose away from him. She blinked up at him.
"Where you going?" she asked plaintively.
"Bed," he said. "You too. C'mon."
"Ooh, bed!" Rose jumped up and nearly fell over again. The Doctor caught her arm and steadied her. "Oops," she giggled.
"Come on," he said, shaking his head and carefully guiding her out of the sitting room. "You're so drunk. You're going to have a hell of a hangover."
"Don't care," she declared, leaning into him and rubbing her cheek against the leather jacket. "Mm, soft."
"You will care," he promised. "I dunno, you humans and your drinking games…stupid, that's what it is."
"S'fun," Rose declared. She stumbled into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. "Mmm," she sighed, watching as the Doctor pulled her shoes off. "Good Doctor…"
"What am I, a pet dog?" the Doctor grumbled good-naturedly, pulling off his jacket and boots. "Bloody nutter, you are."
"Peanut," Rose nodded. She grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed. "An' you're a walnut."
"I prefer pecan nuts," he said, settling next to her. "You should have some water."
"Nah." She tugged at his shirt until he pulled it off, just in case she tore it. She ran her hands over his chest happily. "This's better."
"You're drunk," he said, trying not to react to her fingers grazing over his nipples. "You'll be so sorry in the morning, that you're doing this."
"No I won't," she said, a stubborn look on her face. "You just don' like me." She took her hands away and folded her arms, turning so she was facing away from him.
The Doctor grimaced. "How did I ever end up like this?" he asked the air. He reached over and pulled Rose towards him. "Don't be silly," he said firmly. "'Course I like you. I just don't want you to do anything you'll regret."
She wriggled around again, beaming. "Good!" She kissed him, then licked a trail down his chest to his right nipple.
"Rose!" His voice was strangled. "Rose, this is something you'll regret!"
She took his hand and placed it over her breast. "Don't you want me?" she pouted. He pulled his hand away quickly.
"No," he said quickly. "No, that's not it, Rose, but…" He cast about for some way to stop her. "I'm knackered," he said at last. "Really tired. Let's just go to sleep, yeah?"
She frowned. "But you want me?"
"Yes."
She grinned. "Really? Even though I'm only a stupid ape?"
The Doctor smiled, brushing her hair behind her ear. "You're not a stupid ape," he said. "And yes, I want you. More than I should, probably. But you're drunk, and you're going to sleep."
"Alright," Rose yawned, contented. She curled around the Doctor, nuzzling his neck. "Mm." She yawned again, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.
The Doctor rolled his eyes and watched her.
There you go. Wow, I'm prolific this weekend! If I fail my classics exams, I'm blaming Doctor Who.
Next chapter up hopefully within a few days, definitely by the end of the week.
Please review!
