Title: Rules For Living
Summary: The Doctor educates Adam. Pre 'The Long Game'
Author's Notes: I need to start coming up with better titles for these things. And I really wish I'd put this up before TLG.
"So," said the Doctor as he watched Adam unpack in his new room, "you've seen the TARDIS. You're about to live here full time. There are a few rules we need to go over."
Adam barely glanced up. "OK."
"Number one – treat her with respect."
He did glance up this time. "Who?"
"The TARDIS."
"Ah." Adam looked as if he'd been expecting a different answer. "OK."
Did the kid only speak in words of two syllables or less?
"Number Two – you do not raid my stash of Gallifreyan whisky, do UI make myself clear? That stuff's from a very good year, and I save it only for special occasions."
"Don't touch the whisky," Adam repeated, extracting a strange silver contraption from his bag. He set it lovingly on his bedside table.
"Three," said the Doctor, frowning at the silver object and wondering what Adam was doing with the intergalactic equivalent of an eyebrow plucker, "don't go opening the door when we've just landed, whatever you do – chances are that anything could be happening out there."
Adam nodded. "Seems logical."
No need to keep a running commentary, the Doctor thought irritably. "Four – don't go into Rose's bedroom. Don't go into Rose's bathroom. If Rose is using the wardrobe, then you wait until she's finished before you use it yourself. And if I get any idea whatsoever that you've been spying on her, I'll make you sorry. Understand?"
The kid was staring at him with a mixture of alarm and… the Doctor frowned… amusement? "I understand," said Adam. "No, really, I do."
The Doctor sniffed. "So long as we're clear."
He decided to leave Adam to the rest of his unpacking, and stepped out into the corridor. But he hadn't got very far when he felt a presence behind him and Rose's voice was whispering hotly in his ear. "I don't recall you informing me of those rules when I arrived," she said reproachfully. "And didn't we drink some of that whisky last week? That wasn't a special occasion."
"Yes it was," he protested. "I fixed the TARDIS in record time."
She skipped alongside him. "And that last rule, about not coming into my room, bathroom, etcetera…?"
He eyed her. "He's a young bloke… hormones everywhere… I'm just making sure he knows what's what, that's all."
"Ri-ight. And the fact that you've broken that rule quite a few times now means… what, exactly?"
"It's my TARDIS, I can do what I like. Only guests have to follow the rules." He glanced at her. "And while we're on the subject, here's your first rule: no midnight visits to our pretty friend."
She huffed. "First of all, why bother with rules at all, because I'd like to know what you'd do to us if we broke them, and second, do you honestly think I'm going to be paying visits to Adam, of all people?"
He stopped walking. "Well," he said unsteadily, "there's only one alternative."
She grinned and carried on walking until she reached a door. "But I prefer the alternative." She placed her hand on the doorknob and began to turn it…
"Er," he said, "that's my room."
"I know," she replied, and went inside.
