Eight
For the next week or so, Lina avoided Remus as much as possible. He seemed to follow her, seemed to keep trying to get her to talk to him. But whenever he neared her in the halls, she'd just run faster. At this point, she'd rather date Snape than be near him. He had hurt her, and there wasn't much that could change that.
At mealtimes, she would make Peter sit between them. That way, she wouldn't have to look at him from across the table, and she wouldn't have to feel his stares from beside her. No one talked at the meals anymore, for fear of angering them further. It was probably the most silent the Marauders had been in a long time.
As for John, he sensed that Remus was no longer going out with her. He noticed that they barely made eye contact, didn't say a word, and she was no longer laughing and joking all the time, let alone with him. And now that he sensed it, he didn't mind showing it after class. And she didn't mind his presence anymore.
"Lina, may I speak with you after class?" he asked one day, about two weeks after the initial break-up.
"Of course, Professor," she said. As usual, she waited for the rest of the class to leave. After they were all gone, John put the sound proofing charm on the door.
The usual chair was waiting for her as after her charmed the door. She sat down and made herself comfortable. She slumped into the chair. She wanted to sink into it, let it take all of her worries and fears away. She wanted to let it all out, to burst out crying, and to have someone's shoulder to lie on. Unfortunately, the shoulder she usually turned to was no longer an option.
"Are you alright, Leen?" he asked the second she sat down.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she lied hastily.
John sighed and let out a chuckle. "No, you're not. I know you. You're angry about something. You never talk in class, you haven't passed a single note, you don't make eye contact with any of your friends, especially Remus. Something's wrong. I don't know why I even bothered to ask in the first place," he said. "Can't you just tell me what's wrong?"
She wanted to tell him. She wanted to let it all out on him, and then have him tell her it was alright. She wanted him to hug her and hold her and fondle her, like he always had before. Maybe that's what would happen if she told him.
Maybe she had missed him more than she thought.
Her lower lip quivered slightly, and she bust into tears.
"He cheated on me! Why did he have to cheat on me? It's not fair! I thought we'd be forever!" she cried.
"Who cheated on you?" John asked, shocked by this new piece of news.
"Remus! He told me he loved me! And then he went on to the lake and I found him making out with . . . with that . . ."
He walked over to her, his eyes saddened and full of pity. He outstretched his arms and she fell into him, soaking his robes with tears. He patted her on the back. It soothed her a bit, calmed her down slightly.
"Shh, it's alright, Leen. It's alright," he crooned.
Once she had calmed down, she withdrew from him and wiped her running mascara.
"Now, who was he making out with? Because if you want me to, I'll beat her to a bloody pulp."
Lina laughed uneasily and replied, "It was that Carolina girl. He had been going out with her before he met me, and she cheated on him. How he could go back with someone who cheated on him, I don't know. But he did."
She let out a loud sniffle.
"Oh, Lina. That's horrible. I'm so sorry," John said.
"It's alright, I'll live. I don't know how, but I'll live."
John bit his lip and took her hand, rubbing it softly. "Well, you know that whatever happens, you've got me to turn to. I'll never let you down, Lina. And I would never do something like that to you."
Her eyes looked to the ground, then flickered back to him. He hadn't taken his eyes off her. He leaned into her. She could feel it coming. She tried to remember his kiss, but after so many years, she had forgotten. She would finally remember it.
His lips brushed against hers. He was gentle, but firm – it was just as good as she remembered. He wrapped his arms around her waist, warming her insides. But though she loved it, she couldn't help but notice that it was certainly not the same as Remus'.
When it was over, all she could do was blush and look at the ground. John was beaming excitedly.
"I didn't realize how much I truly missed that," he said.
After every Defense Against the Dark Arts class, she would go and talk to John. And whenever they didn't have a class together, he would come to her old room. Now, instead of stifling a sob every time she saw Remus, she simply ignored him. She didn't need him anymore, now that she had John.
But still, every time she saw Remus look at her with those imploring eyes, she felt a pang of guilt. Was this really what she wanted?
One night, John came to see her. He had noticed, yet again, that something wasn't right. He could accept the fact that she may still be upset about her break-up – after all, he would have been too. But this was different. She was denying that things were wrong, and it was certainly not the same as it had been before he had left the school. He knew something was wrong, though she failed to admit it.
"Leen, I don't want you to say nothing's wrong, because I know something is. It doesn't have the same spark it used to. I mean, you're a better kisser than I remembered, but that could be just my memory. You don't seem to be totally into it, Leen. Tell me what's wrong. Please," he begged, so quickly it made her jump.
"What makes you think something's wrong?" she asked.
"Well, before, you were so into this whole relationship – I mean, before you came here. But now, you seem to be pretending like you care, but everyone knows you're just acting. You're playing Happy-Go-Lucky, and that's not fair to me. If you don't really love me, I want to know," John said.
Lina chuckled to herself and said, "Oh, John, you know I love you. I have no reason to be upset, so why would I bother wasting my time with such things? Leave it be."
But John wasn't so sure.
He knew something had happened. When he had known Remus in years past, he knew that he was a good guy, who wouldn't hurt a flea. There was no way he would cheat on a girl like that, especially one so devoted. And besides, he cheated with the very person who had cheated on him. That wasn't right. He wouldn't do that.
So knowing that Lina wasn't happy and Remus wasn't happy, he wouldn't be happy until they were. He devised a plan of action.
The next day, Lina walked down the halls, alone, as usual. Remus walked alone, as well. The group was sort of afraid to their reactions with each other, and they weren't sure who to believe. They knew Remus would never go back to Carolina, but Lina had seen them making out passionately by the lake. Had he really decided to leave her? After all he had said and done, after what he had said to James?
"You know that whenever I like someone I'm serious about it!"
If he had been so serious, why was he lying on the ground, rolling around with Carolina?
They wanted to believe him, but the evidence was against them. So they avoided him.
As for Lina, she wanted to be alone. She didn't want to interfere with the Marauders until she was completely healed. After all, they still had a bit of a soft spot for their old pal Remus, so they would be likely to try and talk her into forgiving him. But she was not going to give in. If she didn't get that respect from him, he would get no mercy from her.
She wanted to believe him, but the evidence was against him. So she avoided everyone.
Finally, it was Defense Against the Dark Arts. She had been waiting for this class all day. She couldn't wait to see John. He was now basically the only thing she lived for.
She was about to go speak with him, as she usually did, when she felt someone grab her arm. She turned around to see the person she least wanted to see looking her straight in the eye.
"Can I talk to you for a sec, please, Leen?" Remus asked.
"Don't call me that," she said, hardly looking at him.
"Fine then. May I please speak with you a moment, Celina?" he continued stonily. She hated the way he said that. There was an edge in his voice, like he was incredibly annoyed with her. That wasn't fair. If anyone were to be annoyed, it should be her – what gave him the right to talk to her, after what he had said and done?
"I suppose . . ." she said. He pulled her out of the classroom and led her through the third floor until he found a classroom that was empty. He dragged her in and murmured, "Vocalo proofiero!"
She looked at the ground. She had no intention of speaking unless he said something worth responding to.
"You hate me, don't you?" he asked.
"I don't hate you. I couldn't hate you. I love you, but you hurt me, and I can't be treated like that!"
She sighed. So much for not speaking.
"Well, if you love me, then why don't you believe me when I say that I love you too?" Remus cried.
Lina said, "That's just the trouble. I have no reason to love you anymore – it's just that I can't stop. It's like breathing.
"You told me you'd tell your deepest, darkest secret to the entire school before you let her do it again. You might as well start telling, Remus, beginning with me."
"Celina, I can promise you that I did not kiss her – she kissed me!"
"Oh, yeah, like at the ball, right? You just flirted with her a tiny bit and she kissed you! You said so yourself – you're not a chick magnet, Remus. It's not like she wanted you back."
That was a huge blow to Remus' pride. It was bad enough when he knew himself that he was not a chick magnet, but when someone else said it, someone he loved and wanted more than anyone or anything else in the world, it really hurt.
His mouth hung open a little bit, a look of defeat on his face. Lina smirked triumphantly, though inside, her heart burned. It stung her deeply that she was saying these things. These were things she never dreamt of saying to Remus, and now, here they were, flying out of her mouth at lightning speed. And she was acting like she was happy about it.
As she was thinking about the horrible things she was saying, she didn't notice that Remus was still staring at her. In a flash, he reached forward, grabbed her shoulders, and kissed her. She realized how much she had missed that. But she couldn't go back – not after what he had done.
When they withdrew from one another, his eyes were sad and forlorn. "Didn't you feel anything?"
She shrugged her shoulders and lied, "No."
Remus turned around and was about to walk back out the door of the classroom. She knew something was wrong. If he had hurt her so badly, why did she want him back? And why was he trying so hard to get her back?
He opened the door and rested his hand on the side of the wooden frame. He moved it up and down the side and, still not facing her, said, "I just want you to know, Celina, that if you ever find yourself lonely, look me up. I'm still an option."
And with that, he walked away, shutting the door behind him, leaving her alone in the dark.
And she could do no more than to bury her face in her hands and cry.
That night, Celina knocked on John's door, using their special knock.
"Come in," a voice called that she recognized too well. She stepped inside, and her heart almost stopped beating.
"Lina? What are you doing here?" Remus asked.
"Me? What about you?" she retorted tartly.
"Professor Martin asked me to come here."
Lina looked at the figure standing next to Remus, her arm in his.
"And what's she doing here?" Lina asked bitterly.
"Carolina? She was here when I got here."
"Thank you for coming, Celina," John said, in a very Professor-like manner. "I've gathered you here because I've noticed that none of you have been acting right. Remus, you're very depressed and don't make contact with Lina. Lina, you're anti-social and don't make contact with Remus. And Carolina has been much more gossipy than usual, which is saying quite a lot. I knew something was up. So I think I've figured it out, and I'm going to get to the bottom of this."
Carolina looked quite flustered, like she had done something wrong, and she didn't want to come out with it.
"Oh, Professor Martin, that's completely unnecessary. Remus and I are just fine, right, honey?" she said, looking Remus straight in the eye.
"Please don't call me that," he murmured under his breath.
"Oh, come one, Remus, don't be embarrassed!" she said, slapping his arm playfully. Then, she did it again. She wrapped her arms around him and planted a kiss on his lips. Lina looked to John, who was staring at the two of them in awe.
Lina couldn't take it. When they were finally done, she marched over to Carolina, wound up, and slapped her right across the face. She screamed and clutched her cheek, where Lina had left a five-star mark. Remus' mouth dropped open, and John tried to contain a laugh.
"Oh, my God, Lina! What is your problem?!" she cried.
"Get your hands and your lips and . . . any other part of your body off of him!" Lina exclaimed.
Carolina let out a sort of low growl and lunged at her. Remus jumped in front of her, however, holding Carolina back.
"Calm down, girls!" John shouted. "Here, have some tea."
Lina flinched. What was he doing? How was tea going to help?
Carolina, however, took it willingly. She drank deeply, as Remus and Lina watched on curiously. After a few gulps, she removed the cup from her lips and sighed in delight.
"This has to be the best cup of tea I've ever –"
Suddenly, she stopped talking. Her head lolled, and she went limp.
"What did you do?" Remus cried, with a bit too much enthusiasm in his voice. Lina glared at him.
"Don't worry, Remus. I've just given her veritaserum," John said calmly. "I knew Carolina couldn't pass up a perfectly good cup of tea."
"Truth potion? Why?" Lina asked, referring to the veritaserum.
"Because I want to know what's going on here. You haven't been acting right, Lina, and though you deny that you still love this guy, I want to help you."
"But John, what about you?" she queried.
"I won't be happy until you're happy, Leen."
Carolina raised her head, but she looked as though she were drunk.
"Ah, Carolina. I have a few questions for you."
"Ask away . . ." she said sleepily.
"How did you get Remus to kiss you the first time?"
"I grabbed his collar and kissed him. He had no part in it at all," she said in a monotone.
Lina looked nervously to Remus. Though she wanted this to work out, and she wanted to have proof that he didn't cheat on her, she'd be really embarrassed if she were wrong.
"Well, then, how'd you get him to kiss you by the lake?" John interrogated.
"Simple. I put the Imperius Curse on him."
Lina gasped, and John jumped. Remus seemed unaffected, but that made sense, sine he knew he had the curse on him. The Imperius Curse was a curse that took control over an individual's mind, and the curser could tell them to do whatever they wanted.
"I just cast the curse on him, and ordered him to kiss me. Since he had such low self-confidence, it was easy for me to penetrate his mind. Part of him wanted to be a lady's man, and that's the part I dominated. And then I told him that he hated Celina, and that he loved me instead. Unfortunately for me, that part of him was too strong. He loved Celina too much, so he kept fighting the curse," Carolina said calmly, smirking.
"You – you do realize that that's against the law, right?"
"Who doesn't know that?" Carolina said.
Remus was beaming. Celina finally knew the truth.
But something else bugged Lina.
"Well, Remus, why didn't you just tell me she put and Imperius Curse on you?" she asked.
"Well, for one thing, I knew you wouldn't believe me. But the other part I can't tell you. I'll let Carolina answer that one. Carolina?" he asked, turning to her. "Why didn't I tell Lina that you put the curse on me?"
"Because in so doing, I told you not to tell her why you had kissed me, even though you really knew why."
"That's all, Carolina. Thank you very much for your information," John said. And with that, he turned to Lina.
"I'm going to go find Professor Dumbledore and alert him of this. Carolina will be in some sort of a happy trance, and she won't know what's going on until the veritaserum has worn off. You can say anything you like."
"Oh, John, I don't know what to say," she said happily. She grabbed him in a rib-cracking hug. "It means so much to me that you'd do this for me – that you're a god enough friend to find out why this happened and to make me happier, even if it will make you sadder in the end," she said, still holding him.
"What are friends for, Leen?" John smiled. "Now, go make up with your prince charming."
John walked to the door, winked, and closed it behind him. Lina strode over to Remus, who had his arms crossed.
"I'm so sorry I didn't believe you, Remus" was all she could think of to say.
"What on Earth would make you think that I would cheat on you? I, of all people would know what it feels like to see someone kiss your partner. It feels like someone cast Rictusempra on you and knocked the wind out of you. And that feeling stays with you, like a scab, until it's fully healed. And that can take weeks, months, even years later. I would never instill that kind of pain on you, Celina. And I tried to explain that to you, but you just didn't seem to understand. You have no idea how horrible I've been feeling this week. My friends avoid me, because they're not sure if I'm a traitor or not. You don't even make eye contact with me, because you're too ashamed to look at a creature so grotesque. And when you do look at me, it's with fire in your eyes, burning like the fires of hell, with no mercy whatsoever. That's why I tried to talk to you, but all that did was make things worse," Remus said.
"I mean, I wish I could look back on this and say that I wasn't that mean to you, but I was a monster. I said things to you that I wouldn't say to anyone, except for maybe her," Lina said, pointing over to Carolina in the corner, who was twiddling her thumbs. "I wish I could take it all back, Remus, and start over. Can you forget what I said?"
"Not forget it, but I can forgive it," Remus said. Cautiously, he took a step towards her, as if making sure it was okay. Lina didn't want him to make the first move. She wanted to make sure he knew that she loved him, too. So what'd she do? She threw her arms around him and kissed him.
This was definitely the best kiss so far. She let herself drown in him, melting into his arms. And he embraced the opportunity for such a kiss. After a kiss like that, there was no way she would ever doubt him again.
They withdrew from each other. Remus was beaming widely, like he had just won he lottery. He had, at least for the way he had been feeling lately.
Lina smiled back and said, "Some say that you can fall in love only once, but that can't be true. Because every time you kiss me, I fall in love all over again."
