(Eh... disclaimers? You know, if you want a disclaimer, why don't you just go and read the first chapter of this, which you've already done. So... let's all go and eat the organs of those copyright freaks. Alright? Alright! munch munch chew chew)

Yuffie walks outside of Shinra HQ, loaded with loads of shiny and colorful materia. Looking up at the frosty diminishing sunset, she chuckles. "Such a fool... Everyone is such a fool... Wouldn't you agree, Vinnie?" She turns around to where Vincent's coffin is, and finds that it is missing.

"Ha! Cloud you fool... If you really wanted my skills so much, you could have asked... oh well! This should be fun! And there's bound to be materia involved in this..."

"Yes. This SHOULD be fun..." A strange voice from afar challenges.

"Wha-?" Yuffie looks around. "Come out and FIGHT be, why doncha?!" She karate chops the air rapidly afterwards, challenging the challenger.

"Give back the Ultima materia. In fact, give back everything you've stolen from me." A man walks out of the shadows. He has a big pluffywhite coat, carrot colored hair, and an ego bigger that Shinra's reputation.

Enter Shinra President Rufus, come back from the dead!

"Wanna fight me?! I'll take you on with only my fists!" Yuffie stands in a fighter's stance, shifting her weight between her two legs.

"No. But these three do. Something about 'returning an old favor'... I have better things to do than fight some pompous weakling." As Rufus hops onto a silent helicopter and flies away, three Turks come out. A man with a red ponytail in the center, a bald guy to his right, and a blonde lady to his left, the three advance.

Enter Reno Turks, the alcoholic egoist!

Enter Rude Turks, the bald guy!

Enter Elena Turks, the shy girl!

"I'll fight you one at a time if you want!" Yuffie challenges them, drawing out her shuriken.

"Uh-uh!" Elena walks forward. "We can't dawdle either, so we're going to finish you up quick by meleeing you!"

"Elena!" Rude puts his hand in his face. "You ALWAYS give the plan away!" He sighs loudly.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to..." Elena scuffs the street with her shoe.

"I'll fight you all head on!" Yuffie shouts. "My move first!" Before waiting for an answer, or for the Turks to prepare themselves, Yuffie summons. "Deathblow!" Materia symbols envelope her, and power radiates on the ground, her body the source. Chocobo, with Mog on its back, races into the Turks, and an action bubble appears, the word "BANG!" inside it.

"Sneaky, eh? Well, take this!" Reno gets up and attacks Yuffie viciously, followed by Rude. Elena chucks an S-Mine at Yuffie, but nothing happens.

"S-Mine is to flee a battle, idiot!" Yuffie castes Haste on herself, then Fire 3 All on the Turks.

Elena laughs. "We're wearing element-proof vests! That attack just healed us!"

"Elena, you gave our advantage away!" Reno snaps.

"So?! It's my turn now!" Elena flicks her wrist, and a skull and timer appear over Yuffie's head. "Death Spell!"

"Death Spell?! You need to use Death Spell to win?! Well then, I'll fight you when you grow up some more! FOR I AM THE GREAT THIEF YUFFIE!" Yuffie flees the battle, but not before using her Steal attack to subtly take all the Turks materia.

"The littler brat stole our materia!" Reno shouts. "C'mon! Get her before she runs away!" The Turks chase after Yuffie, spurred on by the desire to reclaim their materia.

Yuffie has already sensed that a chase would be in order, so she is already running. She goes into a side street, and heads into a dark and lonely alley. Hopping onto the trash bags, she takes out some rope with a hook at it's end, throws it over the wall of the building, pulls hard to test its safety, and then starts climbing the wall silently.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know!"

"She stole our materia – let's get going."

"I'll take the stores over there!"

"I'll check the alley!"

"I'll wait here, in the road."

Yuffie overhears their conversation. She also hears footsteps entering her alley. Scrambling over the wall and pulling her rope up quickly, Yuffie peers at the Turks, Elena.

Elena picks up trash bags, and guides a flashlight around, but sees nothing. Looking up at the moon, she spies Yuffie from the corner of her eye. "Guys! She's on the roof!"

Rude, on the street, and Reno, just come out of a Materia Shop, race into the alley where they hear Elena's voice. Two rope-hooks are on the ground, and Elena is already climbing hers. "Take the rope-hooks from my pack!"

Reno and Rude do just that, but Rude asks, "Why is it a rope-hook? Shouldn't it be called a Grappling Hook?"

"Well... who cares?!" Elena reaches the top of the one-story building, and the Turks soon after. "Over there!" She points to Yuffie, who had been hiding behind a trash can. Yes, a trash can on the roof of a Materia Store. Yuffie starts running, and jumps over the top of an alley, landing on the building next to the Turks. They follow suit, though Elena hesitates.

"Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm the Great Thief! Yuffie!" Yuffie laughs, and throws an S-Mine behind her at the Turks. Smog spills out, and the Turks drop to the ground, hacking. All of a sudden, one of them turns pink, Elena, and she starts growing, like a balloon does when inflated. Reno and Rude follow suite, but they turn orange. BOOOOM! POP! SPLAT! The three Turks explode, and bad blood splatters everywhere. As the air clears up and the smog dissipates, Yuffie chuckles. "Now to attend to business..."

Tifa sighs. "Where are we going?! You've been dragging that coffin around for five blocks, and it's going to be night soon!
"FOO'!" Barret yells, dragging the coffin along eagerly, sometimes so hard that Red XIII and Cloud are dragged after him. "THEAH'S NO SUCH THING AS NOIGHT! THA'S ONLY EIN CEUTSEENS AND SPESYIL PLAYCES! YO!"

Red XIII temporarily lets go of the coffin with his jaws. "Actually, now that the Meteor is gone, we have night time. Don't you ever attend the meetings?"

"NO... I DON'T LIKE THEHM! IT'S SO BOHRING! WHY!? WHY?! WHY KETCHUP?! I LIAKE CATSUP! CATSUP! CATSUP! CATSUP AND DONUTS! CATSUP! CATSUP! CATSUP AND DONU-"

Cloud points to a nearby alley. "Let's go there! It looks comfortable, hidden, and good protection for the coffin! " He starts drooling.

"Well let's hurry up..." Tifa starts quickening the pace, nervous. "Curfew's going to be here soon, and then the Creepers will be out!" She shivers.

"I don't know what a curfew is!" Cloud puts his one available arm up in the air, in mock despair.

"YEAH! WUZ A KURFY?! IZ IT SUM KINDA HAWTDAWG?! A HAWTDAWG WID CATSUP?! AND DEM CWEEPAHS, WUZ UP WID DEM?! I BET WE CULD BEAT THEAH ASS DOWN DA STREET! GIVE'EM SUMTHING TA THINK ABOUT, WHILE THEY RUBS THEYA ASSES! DO YOU GOTTA HAWTGAWG?! AH NEED A HAWTDAWG BAFOR AH GO KICK SUM ASS! HOW 'BUT YOU, CLOUD?!" Barret attempts a jig, but is hindered by the coffin. Cloud, meanwhile, has fallen back into a drooling state, staring at the coffin.

Tifa sighs. Seeing the afternoon rapidly diminishing, she helps pull the coffin now. "A CURFEW is a rule in Midgar. If we are caught on the streets after 7:00, the Creepers will get us! The Creepers are made and managed by Hojo. And they are no push over, Barret – those things kill without mercy or heart!"

The comrades plus coffin make it to the dark safety of the alley, and go as far as they can. Cloud and Barret sit next to the coffin as Tifa and Red XIII make a trash bag wall to hide them from the Creepers.

"SO WHA DO W'DO NAOW?!" Barret jumps up, and then sits down again.

Shh! Barret, quiet! The creepers!> Tifa glances over the trash bag wall, and then drops down. There's a Creeper out early! Shh! Stay still!> Tifa mouths the words, but everyone understands them.

Metal against well-oiled metal come together as the Creeper illuminates itself in the street light across from the alley. Cloud inhales sharply at the sight.

(Hope everyone enjoyed this! And yes, the Turks died. Big whoop. R & R, please! Also, people whisper in this>, and sound effects in this if you are still confused!)