(I do not own the plot/characters/copyright/STUFF for Final Fantasy and The Matrix series. Yes, I did say 'The Matrix'. And remember: sounds whispering "Saying" "SHOUTIN'!!" –thinking- R&R! )
Hojo smiles to himself. Cloud will never think of finding him near the black pit where the Temple of the Ancients once stood. And Aeris is following him like a blind dog (Where does that term com from?!), taking his hand, trailing behind, or just at his side.
"What are we doing here, father?" Aeris comes up to Hojo, who is sitting down in a metal chair in the small kitchen of their cottage/lab.
"We are conducting experiments on you, Aeris." Hojo says, disinteresting.
"Oh, are those good?" Aeris clasps her hands together, curious.
"Yes, they are. Now I need a little time alone, Aeris." Hojo gets up and tries to straighten his back, hunched over due to a horrible car accident over 25 years ago… "I shall be resting in my room. Please wake me up at 2 o'clock sharp. The experimentation shall commence at 15:00." Hojo shuffles out of the room, and into his bedroom, a sparsely decorated place with a bed and nightstand.
Placing his glasses on the nightstand, Hojo drifts asleep.
Waking up, Hojo looked around. He was in his suite in the Shinra HQ. Getting up, he dressed into one of his 47 lab coats, and fumbled a moment for his glasses. Taking a scraggy comb and combing his hair, Hojo took a look in the mirror for a moment. "Oh yes, today is 'casual day'… I sincerely hope that I get to pickle the organs of those on that horrid 'Shinra Social Spiff-ups Committee'…" Hojo grabbed a hair band and ponytails his hair behind him. "Casual enough…"
Hojo placed his arms behind his straight back, and slowly shuffled out of the door. (Yes, if you haven't noticed, this takes place in the past now… )
Walking down the carpeted hallway, Hojo entered his lab. "Lucrecia – how is experiment M92?"
"M92?" A tall girl confirmed, hands held together. She had long light-brown hair in a ponytail, and wore a lab coat like Hojo.
Enter Scientist Lucrecia, Memory of the Past!
"M92 reacts neutrally to Nitrogen and positive to Oxygen, Carbon, Sulfur, Chlorine, Selenium, Bromine, and Astatine." Lucrecia nodded.
"Very well. We need to now conduct an experiment seeing how it reacts to the Noble gases – Helium, Neon, Argon, Krypton, Xenon, and Radon. Also Ununquadium and Ununhexium." Hojo watched Lucrecia scribble down notes.
"What shall we call him?" Lucrecia looked into Hojo's eyes. (I hate saying that kind of ''looks into eyes" stuff, but for this… it seems… fitting)
"M92, of course. That's its name. Mako Experiment #9292, shortened to M92." Hojo checked on some ameba cells in a Petri-dish. (Yes, Sephiroth is the 9,292nd Make experiment Hojo has performed, and that was 30 years ago… Oo)
"But when I give birth to him… to M92. What about… …Pheiro...?" Lucrecia's voice drifts off. (Pheiro pronounced Fear-Oh)
"Well, I suppose he must have a name besides M92 at birth." Hojo reluctantly agreed. "I guess Sephiroth will do. Don't forget to consume those folacid pills tonight" Hojo paused, thinking about something, and then shuffled out of the lab, leaving Lucrecia behind.
He went to a near-by door, and stood behind the shoulders of a red-headed professor, oblivious to Hojo's presence. Hojo read the paper that the man was working on, and sighed. "Xaemir… Xaemir, Xaemir, Xaemir… Professor Xaemir, may I ask how you plan to degrade yourself in front of the Scientific Congregation this year? Using Polynomials and the Mu-Factor of Gravity to prove the existence of an unidentified area with unimaginable quantities of radioactive energy? You really give yourself a bad name."
Hojo wrote Xaemir's formula down on a piece of paper. "So you steal my theory of Monomials and the G-Force of the Mu-Factor to find the existence of radioactive energy? It's also known as Mu-Factor to find Mako-infested land, and you can read about it in my to-be published book, Mu-Factor, Mako, and Me, out in September , Xaemir. And you wish to steal it all. You want my hard-work. Guards. The Duct Tape, please." Hojo smiled triumphantly as four guards walked in, duct tape in hand. Lifting Xaemir a foot off of the ground, they taped his arms, legs, neck, and torso to the wall, along with taping his mouth shut.
"I think I shall take what is mine, now, and leave you to starve." Hojo walked out of the room, formula and papers in hand. After formulating a design from the plans, he put them in his office, and went to the President of Shinra Corporation. (We'll call him Lordius. xD) (Lordius is Rufus' father, so ya know!)
Lordius was sitting in a purple chair at one end of a ridiculously long conference table, Heidegger and Bawb the Stick-Figure at his sides. (Bawb is a 2-Dimensional stick figure. xD) (And I'm going to get Heidegger's accent wrong.)
"'AY! It's 'Owjo! Ahahahaha! Lordius! 'Owjo's heah!" Heidegger slammed his fists on the table as he laughed.
"Shaddup, moron." Lordius took a cigar out of his pack, and lit it.
(Lordius is kind of like… the head of a Russian Mafia, to pardon our Russian friends out there. I had fun writing this )
"Haha… ha… hehe…" Heidegger slowly stopped laughing, and his arms slowed down in sync with his voice.
Lordius turnned to Hojo. "So Eye see yew 'ave paid us a lit-tle vizit, Hojo. What do yew got that would be of iynterest to me?"
Hojo momentarily eyed an unusually silent Bawb, and then turnned to Lordius. "Mr. President, I have formulated a theory as of late: Using Polynomials, Monomials, and the Mu-Factor to locate Radioactive Energy. I like to call it The Universal Law of Mako."
"Ma-ko, ey?" Lordius coldly eyed Hojo, as he did everyone, a glimmer of interest in his eyes. "Explayn this Law of Ma-ko to me…"
Hojo clearred his throat. "Mr. President, You use the mathematical system of Polynomials and Monomials to determine the mechanical advantage of the radioactive waste needed, and then use my handy Mu-Chart to determine it's location.I'm currently building a Mu-Remoding Locater, a machine that will register your calculations and pinpoint a desired location."
Everyone stared at Hojo, and he sighed. "Mr. President, BASICALLY, using a machine I'm building and some math, you can figure out where plenty of Mako is."
"Now that's sumthin' Eye cin use t' my advantayge. How much does et cost, and how lowng?" Lordius looked at Hojo expectantly.
"Mr. President, It should take a week and is approximately 9,998,073 Gil. The Muf-Remoding Locater is 5 stories tall, and as wide as 3 semi-trucks length-to-length." Hojo… inhaled some air. (xD Sorry…)
"Gud. This heah sleip will gi-ve yew the muney yew need. BUT –" Lordius dropped to a more serious tone, if that was possible. "Yew haff wun hour tew pick upp tha muney, othawise, it will go voyd." Lordius presented Hojo with an orange permission slip.
"Thankyou, Mr. President – I will go right away, if we are done…" Hojo exhaled.
"You are dismissed, Hojo. I expect to see some work later today." Lordius closed his eyes, as Hojo walked out of the door, barely able to contain his evil glee.
Lucrecia walked out of the lab, and came up to Hojo."How did the meeting go with the President?"
"The President is funding my new project, on The Universal Law of Mako – we'll be able to do lots of new things soon, Lucrecia." Hojo smiled wickedly.
Lucrecia smiled back. "You are such a great scientist Hojo – to come up with a great theory in less than a day and get it funded at the same time! I sometimes wonder what your limits are…"
Hojo nodded. "Keep an eye on the experiments while I am gone – I'm going to pick up the Gil right now."
He shuffled to a convieniently near-by elevator, and pressed the button. When the doors openned with a slight ding he ambled inside it. The doors closed behind him silently, and an AI voice pipped up. (AI artificial intelligence, foo'! )
"Hahllo!" It had the sound of an eager and preppy person that was 'like, totally' ready to do business. "What, like, flahr, do ya wanna go to?" It sounded as if the android voice was chewing gum.
Hojo straightened himself, and placed his permission slip inside a deep coat pocket. "Level One, Prefecture 8G. No lifts."
"Like, totally, I'll bring ya to like, Level One, like, Prefecture 8G! By tha way, my name's like, ECXEmily, Emily fer short, yeah. And, if ya like, dig my elevator style, like, ya got ta vote for me, at 911-ECX-EMILY, so I beat that annaying bitch, Stehfinny. Like, if ya do, like, thanks. 3" (pretend the AI is a teen, k? it should help)
"I would not support an android AI that can not speak with proper grammer." Hojo calmly replied. " 'Got' is not a word. Saying 'You should vote for me at…' or 'It would be great if you voted for me at…', would show proper grammar, something that an artificial intelligence should have programmed."
"Ya like, got a point, man. An', like, what's yer name, man?" The obnoxious chewing noises continued.
"Hojo" Hojo replied simply.
"Nice ta meet ya, Hojo… " The android waited for his last name.
"I am known as Hojo, The Supreme Head Scientist of The Planet, The Great and Almighty Achieving Inventor, Great Physicist and Mathematician, Fabled Winner of The Perfect Scientist Award of Supremeness, title created by me! " Hojo smiled smugly, knowing that half the things aren't true.
"Well," The android was STILL chewing the gum. "Nice ta meet ya, Hojo, The Supreme Head Scientist of The Planet, The Great and Almighty Achieving Inventor, Great Physicist and Mathematician, Fabled Winner of The Perfect Scientist Award of Supremeness!"
The elevator went on. "I like, think ya need some like, elavat'r music. La-la la-la-La-La laaaaaaeeeeeh La-la la-la-La-La laaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiii La-la la-la La-La laaaaaaeeeeeh Laaaa la-la-la Laaaaaaa-"
Hojo interrupted the android voice. "If you would be willing to play a more classical piece, like Rachmaninoff's Symphony No. 2, then I would gladly open my ears to it."
The android voice then attempted to sing Rachmaninoff's Symphony No. 2: "Laaaaaa lalalalalaaaaiii liiiiiiiiuuuuu leleleleeaaaaaa lalalalaaa la la-la laaaa–"
Hojo interrupted the horrible cacophony. "Stop it." He walked out of the then-opened elevator quite eagerly, as a human-like robot floated up.
"What. Is. Your. Des-tin-a-tion. Sir. Security. Robot. Speaking." It sputtered, swinging around in a circle, 'head' lying limp, resting on its 'shoulders'.
"I am leaving the Shinra building to pick up fundings for my latest project, Experiment R4985 – It is your inventor, Hojo, The Supreme Head Scientist of The Planet, The Great and Almighty Achieving Inventor, Great Physicist and Mathematician, Fabled Winner of The Perfect Scientist Award of Supremeness." Hojo briskly walked off, leaving the bow-ing robot behind.
Even though it was only mid-afternoon, the skies of Midgar were dark and suggesting a heavy storm. Hojo winced slightly at the bright street lights overhead, as he maked his to the bank, less than a three-minute walk.
-This is going as planned. I will build the machine, find the Mako, and become greater than Professor Gast ever was! All I need is to get to the bank and get the Gil…- (Hojo is thinking, foo'!)
Smiling to himself and closing his eyes, Hojo crossed the street, thinking of all the experiment rules he will be able to twist and break…
BAM SCREEEEEE
(Random people will be talking now)
"Oh my god! Is he okay?"
"He looks dead… I dunno…"
"RUN AWAAAAAAY! Who knows where its been!"
"Shuttup! Call an ambulance! Quick!"
"I wanna donut, mommy!"
"No, dear, but look! The old man's bleeding to death!"
"Where's the ambulance, people?!?!?"
"Ay! E works fer Sheenreh! Uh new! We's gunna git eaten bah sum rabeed an' ungreey skwerrels! Oh 'elp, mercy 'elp! 'Elp, mercy on us, Almoighty God, 'Elp us! Mercy, Mercy, Mercy, 'Elp, 'Elp, 'Elp! Ev'ry wun, we gotta call Lahdee Luck! Speak ta the umbrillas, send tha clothes to the poles! We got to git sum good mercy goin' now, peoples! Where's the peanuts! We need peanuts! And the salad dressin'?-"
"SHADDUP!"
A loud thunk is heard.
Whreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooowww
"A siren! The trained medical professionals are coming!"
"You mean, the hired sport jockeys that CALL themselves trained medical professionals?"
"AY! DON' BE DISSIN' NO DOWCTORS! THEY GAVE'S ME A METAL BUCKET FER A FUT AN' A LOLLYPAWP YESTURDAY!" (That's intended to be Barret's father… Oo… yes, the stupidity runs through the family)
"Move! Authorized and Trained Assitant to Medical Professionals (ATAM) coming through! We've got a live to save, people – Holy shit is that bad…."
-Euh… what's… going on… everything… black… voices… pain… euh…-
"Yeah.. dunno if he'll make it. Oh well… us doctor's gotta job to do! sniff"
"Nod-DEH, Bowrt. (Bert) I wouldn't want MY torso severed in two halves by a coff'n that has 3 foot long, sharp, vicious-looking, barb-like spikes on the sides…-" "It's a casket" "-Whatever… oh GROSS, look at those organs…."
Hojo drifted into consiousness, and his eyes flickered open. There was a lot of pain and the clothes he was wearing matched the cheap wallpaper in the room. Tubes were everywhere, in his skin, wires were attached to him, and everything was quiet.
-I am in a hospital….-
"Hello Hojo." A deep voice spoke out, and its owner stepped into Hojo's view. He was bald, wearing sunglasses and a full-body coat. "Welcome. …To the real world." He sais it with no tone or emotion.
"The real world?" Hojo blinked.
"Yes. You have been living in 'The Midgar'." The man said it with a slight tone of amusement, ironically. He also annunciated 'The Midgar' with emphasis.
"Of course I live in Midgar, Shinra is there!" Hojo scoffed the man.
"I forget how little you know. 'Shinra' is a company secretly controlled by robots. They created a world of illusion, called 'The Midgar', and feed off of the heat energy that humans make. You found out too much, and they tried to eliminate you. But it didn't work. So now, you are here, in Zeyeon." The man nodded slowly, and Hojo realized then that he had never yet left the shadows.
"Excuse me." The man slightly bowed, appoligetically. "I've forgotten to introduce myself. My name… is Morpheus."
"Wait a second…" Hojo thought a moment. "I've seen this before, in a movie. 'The Vertex'. Don't play mind games with me. Why am I here?"
Morpheus stepped into the light. He was wearing surgeon clothes. "Sorry!" He grinned. "I couldn't resist the rip-off, I apologize. I'm your surgeon, Morphh Eyuss, and I operated on you three days ago. You know those cars that deliver caskets for funerals? Well, you were hit by a semi-van full of them. They spilled out and your organs exploded, internally of course. Lucky for you, we arrived at the scene shortly after, and I was able to replace your horribly damaged organs with chemicals. Your blood too! Isn't that great!"
"So I'm made of chemicals…" Hojo pondered a moment. He had always wondered what life would be like, his body consisting of chemicals. Hojo narrows his eyes. "What KIND of chemicals…"
"Oh, THAT?" Morphh Eyuss smiled disarmingly. "We put in Yttrium, Manganese, Bohrium, Dubnium, Berylium, Thorium, Kerkelium, Gallium, and Boron. We currently have a shortage of chemicals, so instead of giving you just Manganese, we had to add the rest in." Morphh Eyuss nodded. "Oh! There's something I've forgotten to mention!"
Hojo narrowed his eyes so much, that he couldn't see very well. "Is it about my organs…"
"Yes." Morphh Eyuss sighed. "Hehehe… the chemicals made an… alteration in you… a mutation, if you will, however slight it may be. We appear to have combined the wrong chemicals…-"
"I noticed." Hojo butted in.
"Yes," Morphh Eyuss looked away from Hojo. "Well…you will have problems walking for the rest of your life. Your spinal column was crushed, and is consequently crippled. We can realter your name to 'Hojo Hunchback' to better suit your life, if you wish."
"Oh, that is alright. I can give myself surgery – afterall, they don't call me Hojo the Great Surgeon for nothing. chuckle" Hojo closed his eyes.
Morphh Eyuss twiddled his thumbs. "The problem is irreversible…"
"WHAT?!" Hojo never was able to finish his berating of Morphh Eyuss (who himself died of a car accident the next day), because Lucrecia walked in.
"Hojo! You are covered in bandages! Will you be alright?!" She rushed to his side in concern.
"Yes, I am well, Lucrecia. How is M92? Have you been taking the folacid pills every night?" Hojo propped himself up.
"M92 is doing well, also." Lucrecia smiled happily. "And I have been taking the folacid pills every night, following the instructions on the box. When will you be let out of the hospital?"
"In a few days, Lucrecia." Hojo spied a nurse eavesdropping on them, and she fled at his glare.
"Okay." Lucrecia's smile widened, if that was possible. "I'll let you catch up on your sleep." She left the room, her long hair swishing side-to-side in its ponytail.
Walking out of the hospital, Lucrecia called a taxi over, and it brought her to the Shinra HQ, five blocks over. Lucrecia took an elevator, and voted for the sweet AI she meet, Stefinny, because it was such a nice sounding android.
Cheerfully going down the hallway at Hojo's level, she went inside her nice little office room. It was a simple room, a wooden desk and chair, some paper and a pencil, and a cabinet. There were some frames of her scientific achievements on the wall, simply there for inspiration and comfort, not to show off to her colleagues.
Ontop of her cherrywood desk was a vase full of fresh-picked roses, bloodred, with a pale one in the center.
"Oh?" Lucrecia slowly walked up to the bouquet of roses, and noticed a scarlet card. The card reads:
From: Vincent Valentine
-Oh, how thoughtful of Vincent to get Hojo flowers.- (Lucrecia thinkin, foo'!)
Lucrecia smiled, her head cocked slightly.
-------------------------------------------------------
(A/N to the Chapter: AGAIN, THANKYA LonewolfFell. A bit of clarification – the ''Noble Gases'' listed are real. You can find them in the Table of Elements. Ununquadium and Ununhexium ARE real elements. Yeah. Bawb is a random person – I wanted to put Scarlet there instead, but this is 30 years ago. Vincent was NOT yet experiment on (since that happened after Lucrecia's death) and Lucrecia is 7 months pregnant with Sephiroth.
The reason I did this little thing was basically to explain why Hojo is made of chemicals (inside joke between me, lonewolffell, and Aceles). Also, it's a little ''A Day In The Life Of Hojo" Thing, for those of you that don't read updated summaries. (xD Yeah, I update my summaries for chapter… tidbits)
Yeah, Hojo wasn't able to get his money, so Bawb started building a pancake machine. But it would take 40 years to build, so when Scarlet comes in, Rufus welcomingly… welcomes the Sister Ray. The President of Shinra is Rufus' father.
I hope that there is no confusion; I just thought that I would do this fun little thing for everyone. Chapter 5 is underway, so you know! R&R people!)
