(I do no own FF7, its characters, or anything of the sort.)

Since you might have forgotten what has been happening in real time to everyone… it's time for… A FLASHBACK SEQUENCE (!!):

"Allo, Vinnie." Cid walks into Vincent. "I'm zing drunk…"

"You're taking care of Cid! " Yuffie points at Vincent.

"Why me?" Vincent sighs, already getting ready for Cid.

"CUZ YOU IS OUAH (our) SLAYVE!" Barret screams.

Everyone shifts their eyes. Red XIII coughs. "What Barret MEANT to say, was that vampires make good… caregivers."

"I'm not a-" Vincent gets interrupted by Cloud, who has just run into the scene. Panting, one arm on his knee, the other raised slightly to indicate he wants to talk. "Tifa's pant missing…."

Everyone stares at Cloud, mouth open, except Vincent. A squirrel spies on them with binoculars from atop a far away shop.

The squirrel stashes the binoculars and leaps off of the roof, to land neatly on the ground with a small thump. It scampers up to them, and starts squeaking at Yuffie in a high-pitched… squeak.

Yuffie patiently listens, and then turns around. "This squirrel says that Tifa was taken by a man in a cape, his name started with a 'D', and all he cares about is himself… who could that be?"

"How can we trust your interpretation, or even the source?" Red XIII stretches and sits down.

Yuffie glares at Red XIII. "I am the GREAT THIEF YUFFIE! What would you expect?!"

"Well," Vincent walks towards Yuffie, noticed for the first time, "We can at least narrow it down from here – any leads are better than none. We also know that Hojo didn't kidnap Tifa, which is good… but bad at the same time."

"Than le'z git outta Meedgar!" Cait Sith exclaims. "We've bin in Meedgar fer 5 whole chap'tahs, an' we haven't fownd Aeris yit!"

"YEAH!" Is the unanimous agreement, unless Cid's gargling is a 'no'.

They walk away from the alley and coffin near Shinra HQ, and head towards the exit.

An excited fan-girl squeals in delight at the empty coffin. "I can use this for my Vincent cult-shrine! Too bad it's not Vincent's…." She tries to lift the coffin and caress it to her chest, but the fan-girl is too small, and is forced to drag the coffin slooooooowly along.

"I've got the duct-tape…" Cloud says, in a bribe-y voice coated in honey. He holds forth… a roll of duct-tape, and everyone groans in despair. They've finally made it to the exit of Midgar! (w00teh!)

"Must we degrade ourselves once again?" Red XIII sighs.

"Not the DUCT TAPE…" Yuffie whines.

"Here we go again…" Vincent mutters, preparing to wince from Barret's onslaught of high-pitched protesting.

"AH DON' WANNA BE TAYPED TA CLOWD'S BAYCK – Y'ALL SMOOOSH MEH INTA A TAYNY LI'L BAWLL AN' CUVER MEH IN DOOCT-TAYPE, JUS CUZ… CUZ… AH 'AVE BIGGUR BOWNES THAN Y'ALL DO! IT AIN'T FAYR! WHAY NOWT TAYPE EVURYWUN TA LI'L OWLD BAWRRET HEAH – NOBUDY'S GOWT TA BE SMOOOSHED INTA A LI'L TAYNY BAWLL, COVAHD EIN DOOCT-TAYPE, LAIKE AH DOOOO! WHAY'S EET ALWAYZ CLOWD THAT GITS EVURYWUN TAYPED TA HIM?! EET JUST AIN'T FAIR NO MORE, JUST AIN'T FAIR! sniff AN'… AN' EEF AH WUZ GWOUP WEADAH (leader)… THIN AH WULD DO A BITTER JOWB… AH WULDN'T EVIN MAKE YE GIT TAYPED TA NO ONE!"

"C'mon guys, it's in our gaming contract…" Cloud waggles a finger at everyone, and then tapes them to his back. Loud snap sounds can be heard, almost as if their bones were being crushed… Ha… hahaha... ha…?

Cloud boldly walks past the napping Shinra guards at the door, and enters the world map. There is a large sworlp noise, as his bones are rearranged to present… COLOSSAL CLOUD, THE GARGANTUAN GIANT, BIGGER THAN ENTIRE TOWNS! Colossal Cloud sees the Highwind docked on a nearby rise, so he heads for it.

Hojo wakes up. "Stupid dreams… That one about cutting up President Lordius as Jenova WAS interesting, though…" He puts his glasses on the bridge of his nose and notices the clock.

"AERIS?! IT'S 14:41:27! YOU LET ME OVERSLEEEEEEEP! GIRL, COME HERE NOOOOOW!" Yes. Hojo is angry. Reaaaal angry.

And silence answers Hojo, making him even more enraged, as he storms out of the room. "AERIS?!" He searches the house for her, and notices signs of a break-in. Also, her red vest is on the floor, looking to be torn off of her.

Then Hojo spies the hastily scribbled note next to the red vest.

I have taken your girlfriend, man.

You won't be seeing her again.

Unless you have money…

But she's mine, oldie! Okay!

-D (the rest of the name is ripped off...)

"Aeris is kidnapped?! My plans will be ruined! I must get her back…" Hojo sits down on a near-by chair, plotting.

Cloud walks into the Highwind and un-tapes everyone. Cid goes for the controls, but Vincent hand-cuffs him.

"DRUNK DRIVING IS KING FUN!" Cid jumps up.

"It's unhealthy and hazardous to everyone on land or air." Vincent sighs, as he chains Cid to a railing.

"Since Cid, our un-official leader, is KO'd right now, I will appoint me, The Great Thief Yuffie, as new leader and commander of the group and the Highwind!" Yuffie triumphantly shoots her hand up, and jumps with delight. "OK!" She speaks with pure determination to rescue Tifa and Aeris… mixed with a little bit of wanting to steal material. "Now then! I think we should go to the Temple of the Ancients! Aeris might be there, and maybe Tifa thinks the same!"

"Tha Temple ain't there no more – remember?" Cait Sith inputs.

"She'll still be there! At the hole where the Temple was – I'm ALWAYS right!" Yuffie takes the wheel and flies towards the Temple of the Ancients, determined to prove her hind-sight.

Cloud pats Yuffie on the shoulder. "We should try the Gold Saucer… Aeris liked it there."

Red XIII scratches his ear with a hind-paw. "Remember Cloud – most of Aeris' previous memories are erased – she called Hojo 'Father'… I think we should try the Temple of the Ancients first."

Yuffie nods. "And BESIDES! I'M the one in CHARGE, and no one ELSE is, so I make the decisions 'round here!"

Vincent shifts his eyes around, knowing what Yuffie will do once he speaks. "Yuffie… we seem to be going at an extremely slow pace…"

"BECAUSE," Yuffie's patience waning, "I get MOTION-SICKNESS!"

"YOUFFY'S A SCAIRED OV CLOWDS! AND… AND FLYIN' BAIRDS (birds)! HEHEHEEHEYHEYHAWHOHOHOOOOO!" Barret smiles in glee.

"NO I'M NOT!" Yuffie shouts at Barret, turning a red-ish green… "ANYWAYS, YOU CAN'T EVEN COUNT TO TEN, BARRET!!"

"YES AH CIN! WUN… TOO… FHREE… FHAIVE… FOHR… AYTE…SEVIN… NAHN… SUX… UH… SAX… SEEX?!"

"Barret!? Gross!" Yuffie looks stunned, being touchy about the word 'sex' (kind of like how everyone giggles in sex-ed).

"Anyways, we seem to be at the Temple of the Ancients." Red XIII stretches, his back arching inwards, and then straightens out.

Yuffie, glad to be on land, opens the door, pulls out the ladder, rushes out, and hugs the ground in relief. Then she hastily gets up before anyone sees her, and brushes the dirt off of her clothes.

"Vincent, stay heah with Sid." Cait Sith bounds out, Cloud and Red XIII behind him.

"Look! There's a cottage over there." Cloud points to Hojo's temporary living residence.

"WEILL DUH, IT'S A COWTAGE! MEBEH THEAH'S DONUTS AND HAWTDAWGS IN THEA, LIKE THA COWTAGE EIN HANSYL AN' GRETYL! C'MON! AH'M HUUUUNGRY! RARRAWR!" Barret thumps his chest, guerrilla like, in challenge. Then he randomly claps three times.

"Maybe Aeris is in there!" Yuffie rushes to the cottage, in genuine concern for Aeris. Inside, she runs into Hojo – quite literally - and they both fall to the floor. "Hey! Watch where your going, buster!"

Cloud nudges Red XIII. Good thing Vincent stayed onboard . Red XIII doesn't respond. Cloud speaks up for him. "Hojo! Where is Aeris?!"

Hojo smiles wickedly, a common thing these days. "Aeris? Hahaha…. ahem there's nothing you can do to me, because I don't have your precious flower girl! Hahaha!" Lightning streaks the cloudless sky. "Look for yourself if you don't believe me!"

"You let Aeris get kidnapped?!" Cloud is enraged.

Barret squints at the paper, and attempts to read the note out loud. "AH 'AVE TAYKEN YUR GURRRRL, PEIMP. YA WON' BE DOIN' HER AGEIN, UNLISS YA GOT HUNEY EET'S GUUD FER DOING IT, YE KNOW! SHE'S MAHNE, THA BROAD! WREETEN BAH ''DUMBO''!"

Everyone, including Hojo, stares at Barret, more than a bit disturbed. Cloud clears his throat in the silence. "Uh… Barret… the note says that the only way to get Aeris back is by money, but that won't happen."

"HEEHEEHEEE" Barret stomps Hojo's feet with his foot. "SO 'OJO – OW'S THA GEETAHR PART CUMIN' ALUNG?! AND 'AVE YA FOUND DA CURE FER MAHLENE'S BLIEU SKIEN CONDESHUN?!"

"Please take your heavy foot off of my feet." Hojo calmly replies, watching Barret correspond. He then ignores Barret, and turns to Cloud. "It seems that we could use each other to get to Aeris – you with your airship transportation, and me with my intelligence and wide variety of powerful connections… to the criminal, Dio."

"We would never side with you!" Red XIII, who had been in the background, seething with fury at Hojo, strikes now. He lunges at Hojo's throat, aiming for the jugular vein, but Hojo pulls out a 'conveniently' brought tranquilizer gun, and tranquilizes Red XIII.

Red XIII drops like a stoned, and Cait Sith picks him up. "We math nawt like ya, Hojoh, but maybeh we culd use yer 'ehlp."

Yuffie nods, thinking of the kinds of material Hojo must carry. "But one false move, and we'll through you off the ship!"

"If you will pardon me a moment, I need to fetch my baritone." Hojo nods. Barret whoops loudly as he walks out with a case… that just might not have a baritone in it.

As everyone arrives at the ship, they see Yuffie sitting on the bottom rung of the ladder. "That will be 1 materia per person to board ship!" She smiles as everyone hands over material.

Vincent hears bootsteps, and stands up. Cid is still chained to the railing, and now two heavy chairs and an anvil (Vincent doesn't like to chance with madmen…) Cait Sith comes into the living room that they are in, and chains a still-unconscious Red XIII to the railing next to Cid, by all four paws.

"What happened to Red XIII?" Vincent looks at Red XIII, glad to see that he is still alive by the tell-tale sign of a rising and falling chest.

"Oh, w'saw Hojo and he gawt crazy 'cause he wuz tired, and Hojo trankwilahzed him so Red wudn't hurt anywun." Cait Sith says, in his heavy southern dialect. Cloud, Barret, and Yuffie walk in the living room, Hojo in tow.

Vincent narrows his eyes at the last person. "Where is Aeris, and why are we letting him on board?" Vincent fingers Death Penalty in it's holster.

"HE'S A GUNA HELP US FAHND AYRIS!" Barret dances. "AN' EVIN BETTAH – 'OJO BROUT HEIS GEETAHR! AH MEAN, BARRYTOWN!"

"Well, don't trust him then. Hojo is just using us for his own selfish devices." Vincent hasn't taken his eyes off of Hojo, who is currently looking through their fridge. (Think of the Highwind as having a kitchen/living room when they enter the ship, which is below the control area)

"Me?" Hojo looks up from the vast display of meat carnage (courtesy of Barret)."I'm just as… concerned about Aeris as you all are, I'm sure."

Vincent narrows his eyes some more, and sits down on the circular couch in the middle of the room.

"OKAY!" Yuffie runs upstairs, everyone but Vincent, Red XIII, and Cid following, and she hops into the driver's seat. "To the Gold Saucer we go!" The airship flares to life, and majestically glides – er… inches her way to the destination.

When they arrive at the Gold Saucer, Yuffie takes out an Anti-Motion-Sickness pill, and swallows it. Ah, the wonders of modern day science…. "That's better! NOW LET'S GO GET AERIS! FORM A LIIINE! AAAAAAND – MARCH! HUP TWO THREE FOUR, HUP TWO THREE FOUR! C'MON, LET'S GO! NO SLACKERS ALLOWED!" Yuffie drills them out like a naval sergeant, wearing an army uniform that came cough out of nowhere.

"IS EVERYONE HERE?" Yuffie shouts, a serious tone to her voice.

"CLOUD HERE, MISS!" Cloud salutes.

"Cait Sith heah, mizz!" Cait Sith also salutes.

"BAHRRET HEAH, SER! RAPORTIN' FER DOOOOODY! WHO'S WE GUNNA KILL TEDAY? FREEDY? SAMMY? LI'L JEORGE FRANKY? LET'S JUST GO KILL SUM OLD LADY! MOB GANSTAH ATTACKIN'! YEEAAH!" Barret shoots his gun up to the sky.

"SIR?! I'M A GIRL!!" Yuffie screams at Barret. ahem "Now let's commence Operation: Gold Saucer Rescue!"

(So you guys know, I've purposely detoured Mt. Coral. Let's say that there's now a landing dock for airships! )

Hojo smiles, not knowing that Vincent, Cid, and Red XIII are onboard. (Though they don't know that he's onboard either! xD) "What they don't know, is that it's not Dio… hahaha…" He puts the Highwind into Drive, and flies away happily ever after. No. Actually, he DOES put the Highwind in Drive, but the fanfict is not over, so he just flies away, Vincent, Cid, and Red XIII in tow.

(This Chapter isn't that exciting, I realize that… but it leads into my next Chapter. You've realized that I've changed the Highwind, so, from the top level to the bottom, the levels in this fanfict are as follow:

Balcony - Bedrooms, Conference Room, and Chocobo Stall - Cockpit and Controls - Kitchen and Living Room.

I guess you could think of the living room as that of the 'Teen Titans'… if it helps. And I realize that I've yet to introduce Chocobos… Soon, people! Soon!

Everyone was taped to Cloud, because Lonewolf Fell and I, we have an inside joke. Ever realize, how after a little talking sequence in the game happens, that your party members all walk into Cloud and 'merge' with him? Well, we pretend that they all get duck-taped to him! xD! I just thought I'd let you know.)