Chapter Seven
Showdown with Evil
(This Chapter solely focuses on Vincent, Cid, Red XIII, and Hojo. Also, Final Fantasy 7 is not the property of me, nor to I own the pretty little 'c' symbol next to it… YY If I owned Final Fantasy 7, or anything like that, I think my works would be published… not on the internet with a couple of reviews… I would like credit for Ciderman and Count Barbiturate to go to Larkamai (me) when used, and Beerman gets credited to Taki (not on fanfiction… YET) and yeah.)
Vincent is chopping up vegetables, making a stew for dinner. He's wearing a cooking apron. It's red, and it say's Devil's Chef on it, a chibi image of Chaos floating in the corner like Cupid would, but laughing evilly. "Cid, exactly why are you putting salt in your beer?"
Cid, in a dangerous high of alcohol, stumbles about, salty beer in hand. "Salty good, ya! I'm a sailor of the skies! Swigger of Whiskey! Timber me whiskers! I have those, right? Ahoy, matey! HahaHAAAA!"
"Cid, you've drunk your limit. Please hand over the beer." Vincent walks up, hand extended.
"No! Never! THE BEER IS MINE! MINE! ALLLL MINE! My one… my only… my precious " (Yes, the end was a Gollum rip-off, of which I don't own.) Cid clutches the KEG to his chest, and jumps onto a counter.
"You'll never get the beer, Count Barbiturate! "
Vincent looks at Cid. "I'm not Count Barbiturate, Cid. You did this last night. And if you keep it up, then early bed to you, and no dessert." He calmly speaks – Vincent IS the babysitter, you know, so he must do with puny threats like that.
"I don't WANT cookies anyways, Count Barbiturate! Wait a second… how did you know that my alias name is Cid?!... Ah… smart, Ciderman! Yes, yes, I know your true identity… smart, actually, in posing as my other arch-nemesis. BUT NOT SMART ENOUGH!" Cid points an accusatory finger at Vincent.
Cid throws a triangular and black patch, with a crimson C on it. It lands on Vincent's shirt, and the patch merges with it. His cloak turns into a cape, and Vincent turns more chibi-fied, making a spiffy outfit – otherwise, nothing has changed.
Cid howls. "CIDERMAN! My true nemesis, come to steal TEH ULTIMATE BEER FORUMLAH! YOU SHALL NOT STEAL IT FROM I – FOR AS YOU KNOW, I BE - BEERMAN, TO THE RESCUE!"
Cid jumps up into the air, keg-grasping hand held high. He slowly swirls around, power lines radiating from him, as yet another clichéd-superhero-costume-change-sequence commences. His regular leather goggles (Not animal leather! Oo… If that makes sense) change into sleek back ones, smooth and shiny. A red cloth is snatched from a nearby table, and two ends are tied together at his neck. With a blinding flash, the tablecloth turns into a bright red cape (very similar to Vincent's…). A triangular blue patch with a black B on it flies to his chest, and it merges with his shirt and vest, transforming into a super-powered super-suit that superb super-heros wear in super-style. The final flash completes the transformation; his goggles get a fancy red trim, and gets black gloves that only go up to the knuckles.
Cid speaks in a super-hero tone. "Beerman – to the rescue!"
Vincent sighs. "Are you done yet? I need to do the laundry and prepare dinner for six."
"AM I DONE?! YOU WISH, CIDERMAN!" Cid randomly spews fire out of his hands. 'YOU SHALL NEVER TAINT THE BEER! NEVER!"
Vincent narrowly dodges the flames. "Cid, let's calm down before I have to use violence to stop you." Vincent jumps over another fireball, and summons some of the magic imbued in Ciderman's costume. (It's not materia, its puuuuure magic. )
"Sena Gri SFERA!" A green sphere of water and static envelopes Vincent, and he jumps up into the air.
"YES!" Cid cries, lightning flashing as he jumps up. "WE SHALL DEFY THE LAWS OF GRAVITY AND FIGHT TO THE DEATH! HAHAHAA!"
Hojo is sitting in the driver's seat in the Highwind, oblivious of, and one level above, Vincent and Cid's… death fight. Eyeing the keg of beer next to him, he takes some heroine chemicals instead. Fingering the controls – one with a little donut sticker on it – he flies away with the Highwind.
"YOU CAN NEVER BEAT THE DRUNKEN HIGH YOU GET FROM BEER, CIDERMAN!" Cid waggles a finger, again.
"But you can't beat the low of a hangover, Cid" Vincent castes an Alcohol-draining spell. "Sloogh Breemeh PURG!"
A shower of pale-gold orbs fall down on Cid in a flash, and he falls down chuckling. "Is that the best you can do, Ciderman?" Cid flies up. "VORDEH-VENIER, DORANEH, PARZEE!" A paralyzing light freezes Vincent. "SHINAHR DEORM POKINE!" Thousands of beer-bottle shards fly at Vincent, depleting most of his Huge Perseverance (HP… )
Cid jumps up to perform Beerman's Ultimate Beer Limit Break, 'Hangover'.
Beerman and Ciderman are temporarily teleported to the 'Chugging Corner', a colorful room with two chairs and a bar counter, where they will battle to stay conscious – what an exciting duel!
A jug of infinite beer is placed in front of the contestants. An announcer speaks via hidden speaker. "Ooooookay! First to chug all the beer wins …On your mark …get set …GO!"
Vincent and Cid start chugging rapidly – its an equal match, sip for sip. That is, until Beerman uses his incredible Chuggin' Powah to chug all the beer… infinite amount that it may be.
"We haaaave a winner – Beerman! Ciderman is forced to get the loser's death penalty – a KO!"
Now back in the living room of the Highwind, Vincent totters around a moment. He falls onto his knees, hands extended. One arm clutches his stomach, his face a mixture of pain and agony. kuh kuh He coughs a few times, coming up with nothing, except blood that is trickling out of his mouth on the side. kuh kuh Little portions of blood spill out, splattering the blood-littered carpet. kuh Vincent falls to the floor, the ground seeming far away as he blacks out.
-Hahaha… He has no more defenses left… Chapter Seven, and I'm free at last! Hahaha!-
An invisible wave of evil ripples in the room, and the air thickens… if that makes any sense.
Little mounds grow at Vincent's shoulder blade, ripping through his costume. He screams as skin slowly peels away to reveal a shadowy black layer of demon skin underneath. When the skin peels away at the little mounds, the mounds burst, free of restraints, growing three feet tall. They open to reveal fearsome black wings, four feet long each, with tiny spikes at the tips – and all this happened within mere seconds.
Blood drips from the wings onto Vincent's back. He hasn't stopped screaming.
His arms and legs grow muscular, and his fingernails merge with his flesh. They stretch far out, sharp and pointed at the end, to produce a hand with sinful claws attached to elongated fingers. The same happens with his feet, but one claw grows at the heel, tearing the shoes off and turning them into scrap metal.
The Ciderman uniform is ripped to shreds as the scaly skin shines in the light. A long tail grows out of the hardened black skin-, snaking its way out, and a row of needle-like spikes mature, growing from tail tip to neck.
Vincent still screams, a scream with infinite agony and pain.
Vincent's hair abruptly falls down to the floor, as if chopped by Masamune, revealing more demon skin. His eyelids are forcefully closed as the not yet hardened black goop (that will become demon skin) slides over them. It covers his face and mouth, eyes, and neck. The ears travel up Vincent's body, and develop into twisted demonic horns at the top of his head.
The scream abruptly stops – as if Vincent's throat were sliced.
Blood flowing down its body, it gets up. It bars its teeth, showing rows of jagged knife-like incisors. Blood red eyes, a feral and predatory look to them, snap open and observe the surroundings.
Enter the demon within Vincent – Chaos!
Cid backs away in pure fear. "C-Ciderman? A-Are you alright…?"
Chaos flexes his muscles and smiles wolfishly. "So long since my muscles have been flexed, since my wings have flapped… since I've eaten flesh."
Chaos spreads its wings and launches into the air. Its claws elongate for battle, and it slashes at Cid's chest. Blood seeps onto his clothes, and Cid stares wide-eyed at Chaos.
Then Cid gets angry. "I AM BEERMAN! VODKA WILL BE MIIIIINE!" He then proceeds to using a flurry of attacks on Chaos.
Chaos laughs. "A human? You won't stop me with those kind of attacks!" Chaos swings its tail at Cid and knocks the wind out of him. It then head butts him and slashes again.
All of a sudden, a red blur attacks Chaos, sinking teeth and claw into its demonic flesh.
"Red XIII!" Cid shouts in relief.
Yes, Red XIII it is, free from his shackles!
"Are you able to continue, Cid?" Red XIII casually asks as limit break –induced flames engulf his body. Cid nods, glowing red himself.
"COSMO MEMORY!"
"VALIANT VODKA!" The two friends, human and beast, tooth, claw, hand, and beer bottle, fight the evil that Vincent has become.
Chaos roars in agony, and it falls to the ground, claws and wings disappearing. The horns too, go away, and the demonic skin dissipates. The unconscious form of Vincent, still clothed, (thank goodness) lies on the ground. Blood seeps from his torn body onto the ground, a pool of sin, and the 'C' patch falls off.
"Is he dead?" Cid pokes Vincent, finding out that he is not. "How does he still have his clothes on? They were ripped to SHREDS earlier on!"
"Hm…" Red XIII walks up to Vincent. "Probably a spell casted to protect his modesty and dignity… Intriguing."
Cid tears off the 'B' patch, and the residues of Cosmo Memory vanish. "We saved Vincent… no, the damn WORLD! Hell! A damn feast to the victors! C'mon, Red XIII!" Cid races to the fridge, paw steps close behind him.
(R&R! Hope you like this… took me FOREVER with Christmas and all… Thank you Fell! And I don't own FF7 or anything like that.)
