The Epidemic
Sam couldn't believe it. Everybody in Middle-Earth had a Metrognome™! It was like an epidemic...
Frodo used his as a garden gnome and left it ticking.
Aragorn used his as a battering ram...maybe he didn't like it as well as everyone else thought...
Theoden had replaced Grima with a Metrognome™.
And Arwen...Arwen was having some problems with hers...
"Lastoreth ni...Oh crap! Why me? Why me?" sobbed Arwen.
Something was wrong with her Metrognome™-it wouldn't tick, no matter what she did! (Like, OMG...) Aragorn and the hobbits had tried to help, but Arwen knew it just wasn't working. Larry, as she had named her Metrognome™, had been stabbed accidentaly by Ringwraiths as they had tried to abduct him. Sauron had one, but he wouldn't let any of them get a Metrognome™.
"He is not going to last...We must get him to my father."
"Stay with the Hobbits...I'll send horses for you."
"I'm the fastest rider...I do not fear them."
"Ride hard. Don't look back."
"Noro lim, Asfaloth, noro lim!"
The Ringwraiths had found Arwen, and were now pursuing her through northwest Middle-earth. Arwen was staying ahead of them...barely.
Arwen reached the Loudwater River, or Bruinen, as her people called it. She rode across, leaving the Metrognome™-deprived Ringwraiths on the other bank.
"Give up the Metrognome™, she-elf!"
"If you want him...come and claim him!"
The Ringwraiths obliged.
"Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer, Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulair!"
The Ringwraiths were swept away...yaay...
Larry, however, was not faring well.
"Larry! Oh, Larry, no!"
What grace has given me...let it pass to him...let him be spared...save him...
Arwen woke up the next morning in Rivendell and ran to her father.
"Did you fix him?"
"Yes, Larry is fine. All I had to do was install new batteries."
Whoops, thought Arwen.
