Part 13 – DE TES REVES A MES REVES
Out of chintz-covered drawing-rooms,
Hermione squeezed her eyes to get a first glimpse of the Hogwarts Express, shining under a radiant winter sun. Dumbledore had decided that she, Harry, Ron and Ginny should have a carriage for themselves, protected and Unplottable.
She knew that Snape had volunteered to guard them; she didn't know that he'd given Lucius Malfoy the instructions to get past the wards.
Snape was already aboard; as he saw the four of them arrive to the station, racing to keep up with Professor McGonagall and Hagrid, his eyes lingered on Hermione's figure. Had she found his note? Had she known it was his? Unwillingly, he admitted that both answers would be yes; and he didn't like that yes, it brought to surface the idea of keeping quiet, a feeling that his move had already been made, and now he could only wait for her to move towards him in some way.
The thought of her moving anywhere closer to him was alarming. She had to be consentant, but he still needed to be the one in control.
At one point, Hermione managed to arrive at Hagrid's side, and her eyes grew wider in shock.
« ...Albus was forced to admit the presence of a spy. And the informations come from the very inside of the Order, » was saying the Transfiguration Professor.
Snape stopped to read her lips and groaned. Stupid Good Side! How thick could they be? Here they were, talking about the Order where every nasty piece of scum on earth (himself, for one) could easily overhear them!
He closed his eyes and tapped his fingers on his leg, waiting.
Meanwhile, Hagrid hadn't said anything, and both of them had noticed Hermione's presence.
Minerva McGonagall gave her a warning look, as they slowed their pace to wait for the others.
« Very well, » said Professor McGonagall nervously when the six of them stepped into the station. « Very well. Don't panic, now. »
She grabbed Harry's shoulder and squeezed him tight.
« Professor Snape is going to be with you. And you'll have your Portkey, » she added, in a whisper, passing a gold chain around Harry's neck. « Remember that it is connected to the four of you. »
Harry looked at the pendant, then hid it under his robes.
Nobody knew about that, not even Professor Snape.
Hermione smiled nervously.
« We're going to be fine. »
« Yes. Yes, of course, » said Professor McGonagall distractedly. « Go on now, or you'll be late. »
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny walked slowly to the train, and went in. As their carraige was Unplottable, they neither saw nor heard the others Hogwarts students, though they had to be there somewhere. The rest of the school had boarded the train some thirty minutes earlier. It was very eerie to step into a seemingly empty Hogwarts Express patiently waiting for them.
They passed Snape, who was sitting in the first compartment, looking as though he would have preferred to be anywhere but there, and they went to sit in the second one.
The train started to move.
Glaring at the harsh landscape out of the train window, Snape really thought that everything was finishing. He was expecting Malfoy any minute now. He would take Hermione and the long-nosed blondie asshole could do whatever he wanted to with Potter and the Weasleys.
And then he would have had a very long time to seduce Hermione – ten years of faking to be someone else were bound to be useful to build an healthy one night stand with a woman.
But then, something went wrong.
« What do you think about it? » said Ron, taking a seat by the window.
« Professor McGonagall seemed so scared, » Hermione whispered.
« Still, I don't see what could go wrong, » said Harry. « I mean, even without the git's protection, we have the Portkey and some very powerful wards. »
Hermione nodded absent-mindedly…someone was passing informations to the Death Eaters. But what had Dumbledore said? Only himself and Snape knew the codes to the train…they were safe…unless Snape was the one…
« Hermione? Hermione? »
« Sorry, were you saying something? »
« What were you thinking at? Want a game of Exploding Snaps? »
« Of course. »
« Of course, » said Lestrange, licking his lips. « We'll wait for the tunnel, if you're sure that the spot is unprotected. »
« The wards are already off, but I made that tunnel Unplottable, » explained Snape, annoyed.
« Remember not to harm Potter, Rodolphus, » said Lucius Malfoy, idly caressing the tip of his silver staff.
« Trust me. »
Snape looked out of the window, frowning. Trust Lestrange. As if. Malfoy, though, seemed satisfied. When the train slowed down, and the lights went on, he pulled on the emergency brake.
The train stopped.
« What's going on? » said Hermione nervously, raising her eyes from the game. « We can't be there yet. »
As Ron got to his feet, the lights went out. Harry swore and took his wand out of his belt, hearing Ginny do the same on his right.
But before he could utter the lightning spell, he heard the door open, and saw Lucius Malfoy's pale hair glitter in the dark.
« Stupefy, » he said quietly, keeping his wand in front of him.
Ron, who was the closest, was hit and fell down, unconscious.
Harry raised his own wand, but another voice said, in a sharp whisper,
« Expelliarmus! » and he and Ginny felt their wands slid through their fingers and fell to the floor.
« Lumos »
Lucius Malfoy's aristocratic features appeared in the dim light.
« Well, well, » he said. « Potter. It took some time to hunt you down, but I really think it was worth it. »
Harry didn't answer and tried to pull Hermione towards him, but the man in the shadow was quicker. Rodolphus Lestrange's hand closed on Hermione's wrist, and she gasped.
Ginny reached out to put Lestranges' hand away from Hermione, but Malfoy shook his head.
« Impedimenta! » he said, almost bored.
Ginny fell down, and Harry, who was right behind her, fell back against the wall. He gritted his teeth when he saw Lestrange's expression, and he blinked furiously. Where the hell was Snape?
« Severus, don't you want to take your prize? » drawled Malfoy's voice.
Severus Snape appeared in the door-frame, his own wand alight.
« What are you talking about, Lucius? » he whispered, so quietly that Harry could barely hear him.
« Take the girl, Severus. She's yours. »
Hermione raised her eyes to seek Snape's, but couldn't meet them.
« I don't want to talk about this now. »
« I didn't say anything about 'talking'. »
« You surely aren't suggesting- »
« If you're not taking her, I am, » said Lestrange, pulling Hermione closer.
She tried to break free, but he was a lot stronger than she was. Again, she tried to meet Snape's eyes, and again he avoided her look and stared at Lestranges instead.
« You will not do any such thing, » said Snape dangerously. « She's still a student of mine. »
His eyes passed from Lestrange aroused look to Hermione's scared one. If only he could take her there, and put an end to everything…but she had to give herself to him, otherwise it was never going to work…
« Come on! Why you always have to be so boring? » said Lestrange, stepping closer to Hermione. All of a sudden, he cupped her left breast with his free hand, and she squealed.
« Release her, » Snape said, pointing his wand right at him.
Lestrange met his eyes, and didn't move. With a quick movement, Snape was in front of him and had forced his hand out of the way. He took Hermione by the waist.
« Stupefy, » he said quietly, hoping against hope that she hadn't understood what was going on.
Hermione collapsed in his arms, and he laid her down in a free seat.
« End of part one, » said Malfoy. « Let us check what part two is. »
He and Lestrange went out of the compartment, leaving Harry and Snape alone.
Harry was still breathing hard. He didn't dare to move. Snape's wand was pointing straight at him.
« Have a seat, Harry, » Snape said, and Harry's heart gave a jolt. When had Snape ever called him by his first name ?
Snape observed the boy carefully. His betrayal meant Harry Potter's death, that was for sure. And all of a sudden, Snape felt sorry for the boy. He had tried to pay James Potter back and had failed.
Well, everything has a price, he thought idly.
« Why don't you ask it? » he said finally, looking at Harry sharply.
Harry gaped for a moment, then closed his mouth.
« Whose side are you on? » he said, dropping in a free seat.
His conversation with Lupin seemed unreal; and he would have liked to see Lupin's face in that moment, three of them Stunned and Harry himself wandless, facing a Snape who talked about Hermione as though he'd just bought her.
« I thought you would have guessed by now. »
« Are you trying to save us or to get us killed? » Harry insisted.
Snape glared at him.
« I knew Lucius Malfoy long before you were born, Harry. »
« But you knew Dumbledore longer than that, didn't you? »
« No, I did not. »
Harry looked at him. He had the feeling that Snape was talking about his years as a Death Eater – but what did that mean? Was the last sentence still a metaphore, or simply the truth? Was Snape saying that he had come across Dumbledore too late to be rescued from the Dark in which he lived?
Because Snape had surely lived in the Dark, long and deep; but then again, Professor Lupin was the Dark, and he was a good man.
« You saved Hermione, » insisted Harry in a low voice. « What will happen to her now ? »
« I will take care of her. »
Harry joined his hands on his knees. There was something very strange about Snape, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
« What about me and Ron and Ginny? »
« You know what your fate is. Are you ready to meet it? »
« No, » said Harry, truthfully. « I don't know what you're planning, but if Voldemort faces me now, he'll kill me. »
Snape looked at him curiously. Had he just heard self-inflated Potter admit his weakness?
« Well, you'd better be ready, » he said eventually.
« And Ron and Ginny? »
Snape kept his silence, and Harry read the answer in his eyes. If Harry was caught, the game was over. He thought about the Portkey, but he wanted to understand what was going on before he used it.
« Hermione…why is she the important one? » asked Harry sharply, and Snape paled.
« What makes you think that? »
« You seem interested in her. »
Snape looked towards the sleeping form at Harry's side, and Harry saw in his eyes the same calculating glare he'd had when he was dancing with her the night before.
« What did they want to do to her? » he insisted.
« Does the word 'rape' mean anything to you? »
Harry gritted his teeth.
« And what do you want with her? »
« I want her safety. »
Harry could accept that, but there was still something Snape was not telling him.
And then, Malfoy reappeared in the door-frame.
« The Dark Lord doesn't want any problem, Severus. He said it's better if you kill the Potter boy now. »
Snape turned to look at Malfoy in disbelief.
« These are orders, Severus. »
Snape had turned towards his victim again – so what, he thought, taking out his wand.
But when his eyes fell on Harry Potter's face, he saw James Potter. And for the first time ever, James was not looking at him in hate or despise or badly hidden fear.
The boy's lips timidly curved up in a smile. He trusted him.
And Snape, his chest aching, acted with deliberate slowness. The beginning of the killing curse had barely touched his own lips when Potter jumped forward and broke his wand in two.
And Dumbledore must have given them an hidden Portkey, because all of them suddenly vanished.
Left alone and wandless, Snape saw in a moment that Lord Voldemort was going to see his slowness as a betrayal – and in truth it was.
So he activated his own security Portkey, without looking at Malfoy.
The flat he arrived to was charmed to appear as a normal Muggle flat. As most of the time there was romantic music and a soft laughter coming from it, the neighbours assumed it was occupied by a female student of some kind.
Nobody would have believed the flat was the security hide place of a wizard and Dumbledore would have been happy to know that.
The music was on when he arrived, and he didn't know how to turn it off, nor did he care about it. His brain noticed that the song was in French, and little more.
…de la guerre à la trêve-
He moved restlessly from one room to the following, not even scowling at the girly decoration surrounding him.
He had done it.
…combien de fois mon amour,
combien d'aller-retour entre la haine et l'amour-
He had betrayed Voldemort. For the second time. More, he had betrayed himself. He had abandoned the quest that had been haunting him since his youth.
…combien de grands voyages pour autant de naufrages-
He would never been able to read the book. He would age and die before the Granger girl had children. He would not have another possibility.
And of course, she would never accept him.
…j'ai plus rien à blesser qui soit vierge de coups-
Above all, she wouldn't if she knew that his only reasons to crave for her was an old volume of Dark spells.
Because of course he didn't love her, and he wasn't going to lie to her. Time of lies was over.
…je t'ai regardé partir en mourant tout bas-
Snape crossed his arms on his chest and looked out of the window.
…les étoiles que j'avais dans le regard-
The Muggle world outside it went on peacefully, completely indifferent to him.
…sont venues s'échouer comme des étoiles de mer
sur l'estran désert-
Snape contracted his fingers. It couldn't be over. He had done the most terrible things, he had gone well past any possibility of redemption, even in his own eyes, and all he was going to be left with was this? A burning sense of failure?
…puis j'ai crié attend-moi j'arrive
et si c'est pas une vie de te suivre, ce sera ce que ce sera-
He opened the window. He was going to end it. He couldn't bear to stand there and lose the last tatter of him he had still some respect for.
…c'était pluvieux, a deux nuages d'un orage
à faire taire les oiseaux-
He leaned against the windowsill, gulping in the cold winter air. He couldn't bear it.
All of a sudden, he realised that he didn't sense the wards anymore. And that someone was standing behind him.
…juste à côté de moi, ce parfum agréable-
« You may turn, » drawled a familiar voice, so very like his own. The teacher marks the pupil, after all. « Very, very slowly. »
He turned.
…et l'orage éclata en même temps que le morceau de chair qui me servait de cœur-
Lucius Malfoy was there, his wand pointing directly at his heart. He seemed very unreal, clothed in fully wizard robes in the middle of the blatantly Muggle flat.
« Do it, » Snape said quietly.
His calm and defeated voice unsettled Malfoy, but he was too well trained to show it or to weaken the grip on his wand.
…si t'es là pour me voir je te signale qu'il n'y a plus rien à voir du tout-
« That would be a pleasure, » said the blond wizard, baring his teeth. « But unfortunately, it won't be my pleasure. »
Snape looked at him without answering.
…je pourrais pas, car tu vois,
il y a un vœu que j'ai fait là-bas-
« How pathetic are you, Severus? A first betrayal is brave, » he stated, licking his lips. « A second one is foolish. »
…t'es déjà trop vieux aujourd'hui
pour réparer l'erreur la pire de ta vie
qui celle d'être parti d'ici-
« The third one is fatal. »
Snape didn't lower his eyes and didn't blink as a flash of red exploded from Malfoy's wand.
A/N Hi everyone and SORRY SORRY SORRY. My Internet connection didn't work these last days, I really tried to post something, anything...
But, I have good news. As Hermione is fifteen, after all, and my story finishes within the school year, you can imagine that the two of them are not going to marry. But as so many of you apparently think they should, I've decided to add another chapter, which will describe the Leaving Feast. And there could happen something interesting, why not...
So this last chapter is up to you. Tell me what you want as the story progress – should Snape make a proposal, should they have sex, should she make the first move, should they decide to be friends, should he strangle Ron for kissing Hermione... Please tell me, and I will write it your way! Drop me lines, dresses, anything. I'll try to combine it all in something coherent.
Deadline: the posting of chapter 19.
(If you want your ideas to be a surprise for the others, you can always drop me a line at my private e-mail, heosvirgilio.it)
The song is Lynda Lemay's De tes rêves à mes rêves, I actually did a horrible and goofy English translation of the lines quoted, hoping this will add something to the chapter.
…de la guerre à la trêve-
(from war to truce)
…combien de fois mon amour,
combien d'aller-retour entre la haine et l'amour-
(how many times my love, how many journeys from hate to love and back again)
…combien de grands voyages pour autant de naufrages-
(how many long journey, and every time the ship has sunk)
…j'ai plus rien à blesser qui soit vierge de coups-
(there's nothing in me left to be wounded, nothing which has never been wounded before)
…je t'ai regardé partir en mourant tout bas-
(I've looked at you going away, and I've felt myself silently dying)
…les étoiles que j'avais dans le regard-
(the stars that were in my eyes)
…sont venues s'échouer comme des étoiles de mer
sur l'estran désert-
(have come to die like a starfish on the deserted shore)
…puis j'ai crié attend-moi j'arrive
et si c'est pas une vie de te suivre, ce sera ce que ce sera-
(then I've shouted, Wait for me, I'm coming, even if I won't have a real life with you, I don't care)
…c'était pluvieux, a deux nuages d'un orage
à faire taire les oiseaux-
(it was rainy, a storm was coming, birds were silent)
…juste à côté de moi, ce parfum agréable-
(just besides me, this pleasant smell)
…et l'orage éclata en même temps que le morceau de chair qui me servait de cœur-
(and the storm broke the moment what was left of my heart exploded)
…si t'es là pour me voir je te signale qu'il n'y a plus rien à voir du tout-
(if you're here to see me you should know that there's nothing left to see)
…je pourrais pas, car tu vois,
il y a un vœu que j'ai fait là-bas-
(I couldn't, because, you see, there a vow binding me far from here)
…t'es déjà trop vieux aujourd'hui
pour réparer l'erreur la pire de ta vie
qui celle d'être parti d'ici-
(you're already too old today to fix the worst mistake of your life, and this mistake was leaving from here)
Next update: March 12th
