Cavall Chaos

Rating: PG , same as the books.
Summary: Cavall is to host a Midsummer Tournament, and all goes well until a mage invites Fairies into the Cavall woods.
Timeline: Two years after Lady Knight. Spoilers for all four books.
Don't Get Mad: This is a direct challenge to my ability as a writer. An author who wrote horrific Kel/Wyldon fic asked for a review. I told her that if she was to have Kel and Wyldon sleep together she would need to do two things: explain why they're in love and get rid of Wyldon's wife. She responded with a five-page flame that was 70 swear words and 30 gibberish. She concluded her rousing inspirational with the sentence: "you can't do any better." Well, SissyLouWho, I can, and here it is.
Pairing: Kel/Wyldon
Disclaimer: I do not own Jon and Thayet of Conte, nor any element of their universe - Tamora Pierce and her publishing company do. I'm borrowing their world for fun, not profit. Obviously I don't own the fairies, either.

Part One
March 20, 462 H. E.
Fort Mastiff

Two years ago, Keladry of Mindelan would have been alarmed at being summoned to Fort Mastiff without warning. Two years ago, while the Scanrans were ravaging the northern border, a summons to Fort Mastiff meant anything from a fallen fort to a flock of killing devices on the way. Now, however, the Scanran War was over and Maggur Rathhausak was in danger of losing his throne - something about the lack of a quick victory over Tortall, and the fact he'd used his hostages to fuel killing devices. Now, Kel was merely concerned at the summons. Nevertheless, war or not, Kel did not ride alone. Her birds, Jump, Sir Nealan of Queenscove, Tobe, and a squad of civilian fighters rode with the lady knight.

"You know, Kel, I'm glad the Stump called you to Fort Mastiff," Neal said sarcastically, "I mean, it's not like you have anything to do since the refugees are heading back to their lands. Why, you've had nothing to do but twiddle your thumbs - when you're not organizing, training fighters, helping build wagons, baby-sitting, making sure everyone has what they'll need, patrolling, and stopping the occasional raid."

"You know milady doesn't like it when you call him "Stump,"" Tobe cautioned. "I have bread in my pack, and I'll let her beat you with it."

Kel flashed an approving smile to Tobe. "Neal," she said patiently, "they're leaving in two days. Most of the work is done already, and the fort can take care of itself for a few days. I think he's going to give me my new assignment, after Fort New Hope becomes the town of New Hope." With the war over, there was no reason to maintain the fort, but some of the refugees had decided to stay in the Greenwoods valley.

"I'm not even sure that's a good idea," Neal said, "the more forts the better. Still, if he just wanted to give out reassignments, he would have called me, too. Or just sent them by courier."

"Unless he assumed I'd bring you along, which I have. And he prefers to give assignments in person, in case we have questions," she replied. Neal snorted. Kel shook her head. She knew Neal was grumpy because Yuki, his wife of two years, was in Corus waiting on Princess Shinkokami. Newlyweds, Kel thought, they have their whole lives together and being apart for mere months is torture. "Think of it this way, Neal, you'll probably get to see Yuki at the Tournament this year. I wonder where it's being held," Kel said, hoping to distract him from his favorite topic - why their former training master was undesirable as a commander or a human being.

"I resent the implication that my dislike for the Stump is solely caused by not being with my wife," Her best friend said indignantly. "I think the tournament will be in Corus."

"You're only saying that because you want to see Yuki," Kel teased. The group crested the last hill, and paused to admire the view. Fort Mastiff was a picture of orderly industry, much like the man who commanded it, Lord Wyldon of Cavall. They trotted down the hill and through the gates.

"Kel! Neal!" A merry voice shouted, accompanied by the clatter of feet on stairs. Owen bounded up to the group, waving frantically. "Are you hungry?" He asked, taking the horses' reins and passing them on to a nearby foot soldier. Tobe took Peachblossom. Owen had passed his Ordeal two years before, only to be repositioned under Wyldon's command. Earning his shield clearly hadn't dampened Owen's gregarious spirit.

"No," Kel said, "we ate on the road. Is Lord Wyldon ready to see us?"

"He said he'd see you when you were ready, he assumed you'd want to eat, but he'll see you now. Come on," Owen beckoned, nearly hopping up and down in his excitement. Kel concluded that, for Owen to be this excited, whatever news Wyldon had was good. Wyldon's subordinate didn't get any less effervescent when they reached his commander's office. He knocked once and opened the heavy wooden door.

"Kel and Neal are here," Owen said quickly, then moved out of the way.

"Thank you, Jesslaw. Now stop hopping like a rabbit in Spring," Wyldon told the knight, who shut the door without any signs of chagrin. "Mindelan. Queenscove, I don't recall sending for you," Wyldon commented with his usual calm demeanor.

"That's age sneaking up on you," Neal said impudently. Kel jabbed him in the ribs. "Sir," Neal added. Wyldon frowned.

"Neal, that's your cue to leave," Kel muttered softly out the side of her mouth.

"Only to eavesdrop with Jesslaw," Wyldon finished in his clipped baritone. Kel flushed. She'd forgotten how keen the former training master's hearing was. "You might as well stay, you'll hear about it later in any case." Wyldon gestured to the two seats before his desk.

"See, I told you he'd assume you'd bring me," Neal said, taking a seat. Kel scowled at him, then focused her attention on her commander.

"Will the refugees be ready to return to their lands on schedule?" Wyldon asked. Kel nodded.

"Yes, sir. Some of them have decided to stay at New Hope. The rest are itching to get back in time to plant," Kel reported. She didn't mention those who had complained about being sent back mid-planting season.

"They should be able to catch up," Wyldon responded to her unspoken thought. The passes had been icy enough to preclude travel up until a few weeks ago. "Afterwards, have you given any thought to your next station?" Kel resisted the urge to shoot a triumphant glance at Neal.

"With getting Steaben's group - I mean, the refugees, ready to go I haven't had much time, sir," Kel admitted. "I'd assumed I'd keep defending New Hope."

"Everyone else has thought for you. I've had requests for you from as far south as the Carthaki Embassy, as well as Corus, the Tusaine border, and the western coast. The Yamani, of course, wouldn't mind having the "Protector of the Small" stationed at the Tortallan Embassy there, either. Any particular preference?" Kel didn't say anything, shocked that so many places wanted her skills and dismayed that Lord Wyldon had adopted that ridiculous nickname people had given her.

"While you're thinking it over, I'd like you to consider doing something for me. It isn't an order." Wyldon held up a folded piece of parchment. "His Majesty has decided that Cavall is to host the Midsummer Tournament this year, to celebrate the end of the war and two good harvests. I have to be at Cavall early to prepare, and I would like you to assist me."

"You want my help because of my supply skills," Kel guessed wryly. I should have sabotaged myself. At this rate I'll never get anything but stationary assignments. Kel didn't regret Haven or New Hope, but she had hoped for a more mobile assignment this time. Wyldon nodded.

"Keep in mind hosts cannot compete in the tournament," he added. Kel thought about it. There really wasn't much for her to do at New Hope, and there were no guarantees she'd make it to the tournament otherwise. Also, there was the challenge of putting a royal event together to consider, and Lord Wyldon had said helping him wasn't an official posting. You'll get to see Cavall, the Stump's home, Kel thought, her curiosity peaked.

"Yes, I'll do it. When do we leave?" Kel decided.

"We'll travel with the returnees for a few days, then branch southwest on our own. We should arrive at Cavall by May first. That gives us a month and a half to organize everything. Starting day is June 17th. We will need to travel quickly, so pack only the necessities." Wyldon said, standing. Kel and Neal stood as well.

"I guess I'll see you in two months," Neal said.

"You'll be in command of New Hope while Mindelan is away, Queenscove. You need the experience."

"WHAT?" Neal shouted, gaping in dismay. "But, but, the tournament, Yuki-" Neal protested. Wyldon raised his eyebrows. Neal growled, but said nothing more.

"Don't destroy the town while she's gone. Pick up what last-minute supplies you need from the quartermaster," Wyldon ordered. "Dismissed." Neal scowled and walked out with Kel. Owen was waiting.

"Did you hear? Cavall's going to host the tournament! My lord won't admit it, but he's excited," Owen said cheerfully as they headed toward the quartermaster's. "I might get to go, I hope I get to go, I'd hate it if he left me here, do you think he'll take me, Kel?"

"I wouldn't bet on it," Neal snarled, "the Stump's getting too much sadistic pleasure from making people stay home so they can't see their wife for the first time in a year and a half or see the Midsummer Tournament." Neal glared at Kel. "I don't see why you get all the fun."

"Neal, I'll be running errands and making things run the whole time," Kel said comfortingly, "I won't get to see much more than rows of tents and papers."

"But you'll get to be there, you'll get to see Yuki," Neal said stubbornly.

"Not if I'm as busy as I think I'm going to be. I won't see more than a glimpse of anyone I know. And the tournament is only five days long, the rest of the time it'll just be Lord Wyldon and me," Kel pointed out, trying to cheer Neal up.

"You're right," Neal said, brightening, "it will be just you, the Stump, and paperwork. You're going to be just as miserable as I will."

"And what about me?" Tobe demanded, his jaw set stubbornly. "You're not heading clear across Tortall without me, Lady." Kel gave Tobe a hard look. She'd hoped that fact would escape Neal's notice.

"He's right. You'll have him, an ally. You won't be miserable at all, and I," Neal announced loftily, "won't speak to you again." Kel looked at Tobe.

"Oops," the boy said.

After their second day in incessant rain, Kel wondered if Neal hadn't been right the first time. The day Kel, Tobe and Wyldon had parted ways with the New Hope returnees had been clear and sunny. Overnight, though, a cloud bank had moved in. When the sky wasn't pouring, it was drizzling. The forest floor was muddy in most places and damp everywhere else. The intermittent gusts didn't help. The cold wind bit through even the warmest layers of clothing or hair - even the horses were miserable.

"No biting," Tobe warned Peachblossom as he edged Hoshi closer. "Lady, is your lord all right? He hasn't said but eight words in two days."

"The rain makes his scars hurt, and he's not one for casual conversation," Kel whispered in explanation. Tobe glanced at the gray-cloaked figure hunched against the rain.

"Well, if I were too stupid to use a healer, I'd be miserable, too," the boy said.

"Tobe, hush," Kel said reprovingly.

"It's true. Healers everywhere, he's got the coin for it, and he goes and heals on his own. It's stupid."

"Enduring pain makes a knight stronger," Wyldon growled. "It takes away pain's power over you. Fighters who go to a healer for every little hurt are weakened."

"That's like saying being sick makes you healthier," Tobe scoffed in a low voice to Kel. Tobe was almost certain speaking his mind to Wyldon would get him sent back to New Hope, but he also knew Kel appreciated his viewpoint.

"It does. It builds up your immune system," Kel said, remembering Neal's speech on the usefulness of the common cold.

"Don't tell me you buy that nonsense," Tobe said incredulously, forgetting to modulate his tone.

"Not to that extent, no, but he has a point. On the Islands, trainees sit in pouring rain for days without moving. They claim not to even notice pain, they've gotten so used to it." Tobe stared at her, then shivered.

"I'm staying right here in Tortall, Lady. Them Yamanis aren't human."

"Those Yamanis," Kel said. "They are human, just different. Different is good. Think how boring it would be if everyone were the same." Tobe thought it over, nodded, and moved back behind Kel.

After a while, Kel was startled by an acorn whizzing past her ear. The small missile struck Wyldon at the nape of his neck. The former training master clapped his neck in surprise, then turned to glare at Kel. Kel bowed her head in chagrin, then looked at Tobe in time to see him flick another acorn.

"Tobe…" Kel said sternly, giving him a disapproving look.

"Sorry," Tobe said in his own defense as his projectile struck Wyldon in the shoulder, "I was aiming for Peachblossom. He likes to see if he can catch them with his teeth. I think it's practice." Kel's frown deepened to a full-out glare. Tobe put the acorns in his pocket. "Sorry, Peachblossom. Mother says we can't play anymore," Tobe said to the horse. Peachblossom snorted in reply. His head snaked out like lightning and the gelding's teeth clicked an inch from Wyldon's hastily-moved thigh.

"Stop that," Wyldon said irritably. Kel reined her horse in, scolding him curtly.

"Let's play a game instead," Kel said, correctly interpreting Tobe's boredom.

"I was playing a game," Tobe responded irrepressibly.

"Chucking seeds at my commander's head is not a game. How about "I Spy?""

"I wasn't throwing them at his lordship, I was throwing them to Peachblossom," Tobe persisted. "What's "I Spy?""

"One person describes something they see and the other person tries to guess what it is. The fewer clues it takes you to guess, the better you are. After one person guesses correctly, it's his turn to give the clues. I'll start," Kel explained. "I spy with my little eye something that is gray."

"Fog?" Tobe guessed.

"No. I spy with my little eye something that is solid." Tobe thought about Kel's words for a moment, then shrugged in defeat. "I spy with my little eye something that is warm," Kel continued.

"My cloak?" Tobe asked finally. Kel nodded, smiling. Tobe cheered, then quieted at a scowl from Wyldon. "I spy with my little eye something that is brown," Tobe said.

"Mud," Kel guessed.

"That's not it. I spy with my little eye something that is white, too."

"Soapy mud?"

"I spy with my little eye something that has leather on it," Tobe said, deciding he was being too obscure.

"Hoshi," Kel said after a few moments. Tobe grinned.

"I spy with my little eye something that is green," Kel began. They played the game for almost two hours before moving on to Concentration, a game played by adding a few notes to the end of a whistled tune until a player forgot part or neither could remember the original tune. Wyldon hunched deeper in his saddle. Those had been his eldest son's favorite games when he was young. Wyldon didn't appreciate the reminder of how long it had been since even his youngest had been young enough to play such games, or how few of those games he'd had the chance to play with his children. He scanned the woods and roads constantly, on the lookout for anything amiss. There was no such distraction.

The trio stopped at noon to rest the horses, water them, and eat lunch. Kel took the opportunity to teach Tobe how to skip rocks on a nearby stream. Wyldon turned his back to them and watched the woods. The rain had changed to a fine mist, but the temperature hadn't risen as all. I should have made her leave the boy behind, Wyldon thought sourly, rubbing his aching arm absently. At least then I would have had peace and quiet. He glanced at Kel. Assuming Mindelan doesn't act like Queenscove when she's bored, that is. It's a possibility. Wyldon stood suddenly, his lunch finished.

"Let's go," he said curtly. Kel and Tobe immediately put their rocks down, retrieved their horses, and mounted up. They continued down the soggy road. Wyldon acted as lookout while Kel and Tobe kept each other entertained and distracted from the inclement weather. Kel also watched the surrounding woods. There hadn't been any dangerous Scanran activity lately, but both knights had spent too long on the border to be anything but paranoid.

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean everyone isn't out to get you," Wyldon murmured softly, his lips twitching in amusement.

"What was that, my lord?" Kel asked. Wyldon shook his head, gesturing for her to pay him no heed. Kel's brows dipped in confusion. With a shrug, she and Tobe returned to their current game of trading riddles. Every few moments, Kel glanced at her commander. He'd been far quieter than usual, and her brave words to Tobe aside, she was concerned. She knew it wasn't just the damp, but she didn't know any way of finding out what was wrong. Maybe he's just worried about the Tournament. He is the one who'll look stupid if it doesn't go well, after all. That must be it - he's just planning ahead, Kel decided.

"Where do you love to go but hate to be," Tobe asked. Kel focused her attention on his riddle. "Where you like to leave but always return?" Kel frowned. That didn't sound like anything she knew. She wanted to say page training, but you never went back there. The Black God's court was the same way.

"Home," Wyldon said. Tobe frowned, both at the interruption and the bizarre answer.

"No, the healer's," Tobe corrected slowly. "You love to go there when you're in pain, but you hate being there while you're healing because it hurts. You always feel good leaving, but you always go back again for something else. Well, most people go back."

"Very clever, Tobe. Would you like a turn, my lord?" Kel asked. She didn't think Wyldon would accept, but it would have been rude not to offer.

"Thank you for the courtesy, but no," Wyldon said. After a few moments, Tobe posed another riddle.

At twilight the group stopped at a clearing ringed in trees. Numerous ash marks in the grass testified to the clearing's suitability as a campsite. Despite the high humidity, Kel and Tobe managed to find enough dry wood for a cook fire. Wyldon made a delicious stew that was complimented with nuts Tobe filched from a squirrel's cache.

Moments after Kel and Tobe had turned in for the night, just as Wyldon started his watch, sheets of icy rain began pouring from the sky. The water froze as soon as it hit the ground, covering everything in a thin coat of invisible ice. Wyldon scowled murderously at the sky from beneath his tree.

"That," he said dourly to the god of weather, "is not funny."

Kel stretched when she woke the next morning, then huddled back in her bedroll against the frigid temperature. What a horrible day to be on the road, Kel thought, forcing herself to crawl out of bed. She pulled on her boots quickly, glad she hadn't changed into a nightshirt last night. Tobe roused and complained drowsily about the weather. Kel untied the flap to her tent, then climbed outside. She almost fell, unprepared for the slick ground.

"Go back to sleep. There's no way the horses can ride on this," Wyldon said, carefully picking himself up off the ground. "We'll have to wait until this melts before we can travel."

"Are the horses all right?" Kel asked. Wyldon nodded, finding a precarious balance.

"Their tree provided shelter," he said, carefully making his way to his own tent. Only Kel's Yamani training kept her from laughing as she watched Wyldon mince across the camp. "Is something amusing, Mindelan?" Wyldon growled, doing an odd two-step in front of his tent.

"No, sir. Why didn't you wake me for my watch?"

"No need. No one could have done anything in that rain. Even getting to my tent was an exercise in courting frostbite and collapse, let alone pillaging and burning." Kel's mouth twitched, then she too began the graceless dance of walking on ice. Wyldon cocked an eyebrow, but said nothing. Kel used the latrine and returned to her tent. She fell twice. Each time, she was glad no one else saw - she doubted Lord Wyldon would let her falls escape without comment.

Around ten o'clock Wyldon judged it safe to proceed. They took down camp quickly and started traveling again. The rain had cleared out the drizzle, but it was still damp and foggy. Kel and Tobe soon began conversing between themselves, debating which type of horse was best for riding on muddy roads. Kel favored the stronger greathorses because they were strong enough to pull themselves or each other out of the mire, whereas Tobe believed lighter horses wouldn't get entrenched in the first place. Wyldon refrained from interrupting; he couldn't say anything that wouldn't stop the conversation or be redundant, nor was he crass enough to interrupt.

Wyldon had planned the Tournament as much as he could over the previous several days. He had also exhausted any other mental work he needed to do. Out of sheer boredom, he began to do mental math as he rode. The equations became more and more complex until the numbers finally slipped out of his control and jumbled into a chaotic mess. Once that happened, he started over. By mid-afternoon, even the math was dull. He listened for a moment to Kel and Tobe. They were exchanging trivia questions. Another game. Lovely, Wyldon thought, massaging his sore arm. Normally, he would have given Kel the lead and tried to read a book. However, he didn't completely trust Sable, a sub-standard horse sent to Wyldon in hopes he could smarten the animal up, not to run him into a tree. There are worse things than boredom, Cavall, he reminded himself sternly.

By the time twilight came, Wyldon was looking forward to cooking just because it was something to do. He gently pulled Sable to a stop near a likely-looking spot. He opened his mouth to tell Kel and Tobe this was where they'd stop for the night, only to find Kel had already dismounted. Wyldon closed his mouth and slid off his mount, stretching stiff legs. Kel and Tobe once again found wood for a fire. After a dinner of stew and the remaining nuts, he practiced with his sword against an invisible opponent while Kel and Tobe practiced against each other. Wyldon took first watch again, circling the camp to keep feeling in his toes. An hour before midnight, he woke Mindelan for her turn as sentry.

When dawn came, they ate a cold breakfast and went on their way. This routine continued for three days, until they came upon a village with an inn.

"An inn with a bathhouse, thank the Goddess," Kel commented in relief. She was dirty and smelly, and she didn't like it.

"Peachblossom thinks so, too. He says you're getting pungent," Tobe teased. Peachblossom shook his mane in agreement. Wyldon was also happy, but for a different reason. For the first time in a long while, he was looking forward to having someone to talk with. Kel, Tobe and Wyldon rode to the inn, saw that the horses were stabled and that Peachblossom behaved, then went into the main hall. Wyldon walked up to the innkeeper.

"Two rooms, three baths, three suppers, please," Wyldon ordered politely. Tobe smirked, correctly assuming Lord Wyldon knew better than to separate Tobe from Kel. After a brief conversation, Wyldon gave the innkeeper a copper noble. He gestured for Kel to follow. She went up to the desk.

"How much do I owe you?" Kel asked. The man frowned.

"Are you with him?" he asked, pointing to Wyldon. Kel nodded. "He already paid for all of you." Kel nodded a thank-you to the man, picked up her saddlebags and hurried after Wyldon.

"My lord, how much do I owe you?" Kel asked, catching up to him. Wyldon handed her a key.

"Nothing. That's your room."

"I have my own money, you don't need to pay. How much do I owe you for Tobe and me?" Kel persisted. Wyldon repeated his previous answer. He stopped at his door, unlocked it, and went inside. Wyldon tossed his bags on the floor and reached inside them for his clean set of clothes. Kel stood at the door, not bold enough to just charge into her commander's room. "I realize I don't make as much money as you do, either in purses or in family wealth, but I have enough to pay for my own room." Kel held out five copper bits, two-thirds of a copper noble.

"And I am not so miserly I demand repayment," Wyldon said, folding his clothes into a neat bundle.

"You better take it," Tobe said on his mistress's behalf, "or she'll feel like a trollop." Kel stared incredulously at Tobe. Wyldon walked to the door and stepped outside, closing the door behind him. He bent over to look Tobe in the eyes.

"I may have been born in the dark, but it was not last night," Wyldon said, then walked away without taking the money.

"Come on, Tobe. We've lost the battle, not the war," Kel said, unlocking her own door. "Get your clothes and go take a bath. Don't forget to sneak the coins into his purse." Kel handed Tobe the bits, who secreted them in his pocket with a sly smile.

Kel gathered her clothes and went to the woman's bathhouse. There was a strong smell of sulfur in the air, but after several minutes in the warm spring water Kel didn't notice it. She scrubbed from crown to foot and back again, leaving no spot unwashed. Afterward she just sat in the water, enjoying the warm, clean feeling. If I were the lady I was supposed to be, I wouldn't have to traipse down long, cold roads in icy rain. I could just sit in my solar and read with hot baths every night. I was crazy, absolutely crazy to be a knight, Kel thought with dry humor. She knew she would have been miserable in so much comfort while so many others were suffering. Embroidery is boring, anyway, Kel thought, smiling slightly to herself. Kel washed her clothes in the water. Her cleaning complete, Kel toweled herself off and dressed. She wore a burgundy wool skirt and a loose white shirt instead of her usual breeches partly as a change of pace, partly to make sure people knew she was a girl.

Kel left the bathhouse and hung her clothes on a convenient line in her room with a towel under them to catch the drips. She then went into the main hall. Shortly after she sat down at an empty table, a pretty waitress took her order. Dinner for the night was a slab of meat, fried vegetables, bread and cheese. Kel was half-way through her vegetables when Wyldon and Tobe joined her.

"Mindelan," Wyldon said in greeting as he sat down across from her. Tobe sat next to Kel, giving Wyldon a distrustful look. Tobe wanted to know why "the Stump" was being so nice to Kel all of the sudden, but he didn't want Wyldon to order Kel to send him back for asking, either. The pretty waitress returned to take the newcomers' orders.

"What she's having, please," Tobe said at his most adorable. The woman grinned at him, then turned to Wyldon.

"What can I get you, soldier?" the woman said with a wink. Wyldon glanced at the Cavall badge on his shirt, then up at the woman. His badge clearly indicated he was a knight and a noble, not a common soldier. Kel resisted the urge to shake her head at the oblivious woman.

"The same. Please see the meat is well-cooked," Wyldon said politely.

"Ale or wine?" The wench purred, sidling closer.

"Cider," Wyldon said.

"We don't have that," The woman moved so close her hip brushed Wyldon's arm.

"Water, then," Wyldon said. The woman smiled and winked again, then sashayed toward the kitchen. Neither Kel nor Wyldon said anything. The serving wench came with Wyldon and Tobe's food.

"Anything else I can get you?" The woman breathed into Wyldon's ear when she leaned over setting Wyldon's plate down. Kel's eyes widened. The wench had pulled her bodice low enough her bust was almost completely exposed. Tobe pretended to be entranced by his plate.

"No, thank you," Wyldon said shortly, ripping his slice of bread in half.

"Not even a little… feminine company?" The wench asked, pouting. She teased at the short hair at the nape of Wyldon's neck and leaned to give him a full view of her ample cleavage. Wyldon looked down at his lap and moved away from her touch. The ambient temperature at the table seemed to drop several degrees.

"I've got enough feminine company, thank you," he said curtly, gesturing to Kel. The wench straightened and looked at Kel contemptuously.

"I may not be a university magician, but I'm not stupid. If that's a girl, I'm a cat."

"Start lapping, Kitty," Tobe said angrily, spilling a little of his milk on the table. "She's more of a girl than you are."

"Tobe, be polite," Kel said, scowling at the waitress in dislike and disapproval. The woman paused, then continued undaunted.

"A boyish girl like that can't be that good of a tumble," the wench purred bluntly, sitting in Wyldon's lap. Wyldon scowled. "Such a scowl! I bet I can make you smile," she purred, running a hand down Wyldon's chest. Wyldon set down his fork and grabbed the woman by the waist.

"If you want to make me smile, leave me alone," Wyldon said curtly and forcibly removed her from his lap. He then scooted in so his legs were under the table. The woman pouted angrily and stalked off.

"Well, you tried to be polite," Kel said softly, loading some bread with vegetables and taking a bite. Wyldon grunted.

"That's why I didn't want you to be a page. All flirtation and no grasp of subtlety."

"Women like that give the rest of us a bad name," Kel agreed.

"Like that and the women who go into hysterics or moral superiority at the drop of a hat," Tobe said with humor. "And don't forget the ones who think it's funny for men to fight over them." The corners of Wyldon's mouth twitched.

"Or women who feel the need to turn tradition on its ear whenever they feel like it and have can't seem to walk down a hallway without getting into fights with the flagstones," Wyldon said. "Those are the ones you have to really watch out for." Kel stared at him while Tobe choked on his vegetables, spitting them out in his hurry to get his mouth free.

"You said she was just as good as men-" Tobe began hotly, worries about an order to return to New Hope forgotten. Kel clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Did you just make a joke?" Kel asked in astonishment.

"I'm not a funny man," Wyldon said, not meeting her eyes. He began eating his meal. I've been practically ignoring him the entire trip, Kel realized. He's… lonely. He was trying to break the ice, and I missed it. She released Tobe's mouth and pointed to his food. She almost didn't believe what her people-sense told her. He's the Stump - all stone, no water. He can't get lonely, he certainly wouldn't want to chat with his subordinates. Kel looked at Wyldon through her lashes. He was watching a group of people laughing near the fireplace, his face a mask of stone. That's just stupid. Lord Wyldon is human; no human I know would willingly spend almost a week in near-total silence, nor look forward to more of the same all the way to Cavall.

"I'm sorry," Kel said, looking up. Wyldon's head jerked her direction.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm sorry. I've been ignoring you all week, that was rude," Kel explained. Tobe looked at Kel like she'd suddenly sprouted a second head. He didn't like the turn of the conversation at all.

"You didn't have anything to say," Wyldon said with a shrug.

"But I never stopped to see if you had anything to say to me," Kel said. She winced at how cold that sounded. "I mean, it's not that I didn't have anything to say to you, I just didn't think you wanted to hear it." Even worse. "That didn't come out like I meant it."

"Lady, you're digging yourself in a hole," Tobe advised. "Maybe you'd better be quiet and eat your meat." Wyldon raised his eyebrows expectantly. Kel took a deep breath. Why was it whenever she tried to explain her feelings to Wyldon it always came out wrong? From her first attempt at explaining why her desires were subordinate to her commander's when she was a probationary page, to clarifying Joren's possible influence on those who challenged her as a squire, to describing why she hadn't wanted the assignment of Haven as a new knight - six times out of ten, Kel said something wrong somewhere. A calm lake on a windless day; this is what I shall be, Kel repeated to herself in Yamani. Reflect as if you have all of time, even when time is short.

"You're my commander," Kel said slowly. "There's always a barrier of sorts between a commander and his troops. I assumed as my commander you wouldn't want to talk with me about anything not directly related to our duties."

"Logical," Wyldon said. His mouth moved to form another word, but whatever he was going to say was lost when a tall, brawny man accompanied by three other tall, brawny men walked up to the table and demanded Wyldon's attention.

"I hear you were rude to Shanna," the leader said. Wyldon gave them a blank look. "Shanna. The woman who so graciously offered you company for the night."

"I'm married. It wouldn't be appropriate," Wyldon said. Wyldon didn't want a brawl. When knights fought commoners, commoners ended up dead or nearly so. Not all strikes could be perfectly gauged not to kill, and not all battle-wired reflexes could be overridden.

"Aww, he's married," the leader said sarcastically, "leagues from home and he's still faithful to his wife. Isn't that sweet? Every man cheats on his wife at least once, even chivalrous district commanders." So much for pulling rank, Kel thought, watching her lord.

"Not with his wife sitting right across the table," Tobe said suddenly. Both Kel and Wyldon stared at Tobe incredulously. The leader scrutinized Kel's badge-less white shirt, Raven Armory belt-knife and woolen skirt.

"You're lying, runt. If he's her husband, why do they have separate rooms?" the leader asked belligerently.

"He snores," Kel said simply, looking back to the men.

"Aww, leave him alone, Marc," a tall, weathered man at the bar drawled. "You can't expect him to use a whore with his woman and son sitting at the table, even if a quarter of her payment goes to you." A murmur of agreement spread through the room. Marc and his goons had no choice but to back off.

"So it's all right to intimidate someone into, into, picking up a woman, but only if his wife's not with him?" Kel snorted indignantly. Wyldon nodded disgustedly, and returned to his food as if nothing had happened.

"It doesn't make sense, and it's not right. There's nothing we can do about it. Pick your battles when you have a chance of winning," Wyldon said. Kel wanted to argue the point, but didn't. Her lord was right - she couldn't even hope to gain ground here. "And I do not snore," Wyldon said stiffly.

"Yes, you do," Kel responded.

"No, I do not," Wyldon said firmly, raising his eyebrows. Kel started to back down from the familiar look of censure, then stopped herself. She wasn't certain the offer of companionship made via the earlier joke was closed. There was only one way to find out. Kel took a deep breath.

"Sir, with all due respect, either you snore or every tree around us last night was struck by lightning. Repeatedly," Kel said. She waited tensely as Wyldon regarded her unblinkingly.

"Care to place a wager on that?" Wyldon said slowly.

"Loser cleans winner's horses and tack for a week, including hooves," Kel said promptly.

"That's no incentive for me. I have stable workers," Wyldon said. Kel thought for a moment, chewing on her lip.

"Loser owes winner a box of Carthaki chocolate?"

"You are on," Wyldon said. "Would you be so kind as to ask the horses?" he asked Tobe.

"I don't have to," Tobe said. "Hoshi and Peachblossom have been complaining about Sable's snoring the entire trip. It was Sable you heard, Lady." Kel flushed. Though she almost didn't want to see, she glanced at Wyldon. One corner of his mouth was lifted in a definite smirk. It wasn't a smile, but it wasn't his usual expressionless mask.

After dinner Kel talked with Tobe and the locals while Wyldon went over to join the people talking at the fireplace. He and Kel didn't speak to each other the rest of the night. They weren't what they had been at the night's beginning, and both of them refused to be too hasty about further change.

That night, Kel found a small, leather purse with a note attached on her pillow. Kel picked up the slip of paper, curious. The message was written in a neat, firm hand:

Very funny.

Puzzled, Kel opened the pouch. Inside were five shiny copper bits.