Chapter 18
The longest week of Jess's life was almost coming to an end. One more hour, Jess thought silently. One more hour and I can get out of here. Dora was practically glued to her side as they walked into Mr Millers english class, she was talking a mile a minute about a dress she'd seen in one of her sisters catalogues.
Jess wasn't really listening but made attempts to humor her friend by mumbling the odd 'hmmm,' and 'really?' every once in a while. No one could be as excited about a dress as Dora was pretending to be, and Jess knew she was only going on about it so much to try and take Jess's mind off Caleb.
Dora had been with Jess when she'd approached Caleb that morning. Her jaw had dropped to the floor in a cartoon fashion when Caleb hurriedly backed away mumbling, 'I can't talk to you Jess. Just give me some space.'
Dora hadn't known a thing about what was going on and Jess had spent almost the whole of lunch time tearfully recounting the events of the last few days. She'd passed by Luke in the hallway and seen him in a couple of classes, but if he'd made any attempts to get Jess's attention - or to even acknowledge her - Jess hadn't noticed. He was acting as if she didn't even exist, which was probably for the best Jess decided.
But now they were going to have to acknowledge one another. Today was the deadline for their joint assignment. Jess cluched at her half of the essay nervously as she settled down into her seat and looked around the room for Luke. She knew what she'd written, while not exactly terrible, was nowhere near her usual standard. It wasn't like she hadn't tried, she'd just had too much going on over the last few days to really do her best work.
Glancing down at the words she'd written she prayed that it was up to scratch. Suddenly she sensed movement beside her as a small pile of papers dropped onto her desk. Jess looked up to see Luke stood a few inches away, one hand stuck casually in his pocket the other holding the strap of the backpack slung over his shoulder. He was looking over at the other side of the room, his face blank except for a mild note of disinterest that Jess was willing to bet was an act put on especially for her.
'Fifteen hundred words,' he said flatly. 'Plus footnotes. I didn't include a bibliography though.'
'Oh that's okay,' Jess replied forcing herself to sound normal and failing miserably. 'I took care of that.' Luke nodded, still not looking at her, before turning his back and taking a seat as far away from her as he could get. Jess put the pile of papers together, slid them into a plastic document folder and put it on the edge of her desk, ready for Mr Miller to collect. Jess spent most of the lesson watching the clock, each second seemed to tick by slower than the last.
Sighing with boredom Jess flicked through her notebook stopping at a page with the word Vedauria written across the top line. She had been trying to do some research into it, but her failure to find anything was reflected by the blank page in front of her. It was strange, but no one had really talked much about Laila's absence. It wasn't until Jess had overheard a couple of her friends talking that she realised Mr an Mrs Warner were keeping the truth about what was wrong with their daughter a secret. As far as her friends were concerned Laila was tucked up in her own bed suffering from a bout of very debilitating, very contagious flu.
Was it possible that the Warners suspected something magical had caused their daughters illness? Was that why they were being so secretive? Jess couldn't be sure. It was obvious to her that the Night People in this town were becoming more and more careless, was it really so unbelievable that someone may have worked out that there were witches living among them? The thought made Jess shudder. If someone had realised there was such a thing as witches, then the little number Tally and Petra had pulled could in no way be considered to be good press.
Jess shut the notebook and leaned forward letting her chin rest in her hand. She had to at least try to listen to what Mr Miller was saying - who knows, she thought. It may even be interesting. But it was no use, her mind was too tired to concentrate on anything for more than a minute, two minutes tops. Her thoughts began to wander to Luke. Calebs behaviour was understandable - Jess's revelation the day before had hit him like a bolt out of the blue - but why was Luke acting so cold, so distant? It wasn't like she had the right to complain, after all she had been the one who'd made it clear that nothing was going to happen between them.
Without realising what she was doing, Jess leaned back in her seat and glanced over her shoulder. She caught Luke looking right at her, the expression on his face indicating that he had been looking for quite a while. As soon as their eyes met Luke's head snapped to the front of the class, his face twisted into a frown as if he was mad at himself for letting her catch him. If Jess hadn't known better she would have sworn that he was blushing - but Luke was a vampire and vampires didn't blush.
A few minutes later the bell rang and Jess got to her feet, the sound of her chair scraping across the floor adding to the mild din being created by the rest of the class as they prepared to leave. Jess noticed Luke moving quickly, going out of his way not to have to go near her. Dora noticed too.
'What's his problem?' she asked with a frown.
'He's just realizing something I realized from the very start of this whole mess,' Jess sighed. 'We can't be friends.'
'Does that mean he has to ignore you like you've got some disgusting contagious disease or something?' Dora replied. 'If you ask me, he's just being rude.'
'Dora,' Jess said giving her friend a light dig on the arm. 'Don't be so mean. He's only doing to me the same thing I've been doing to him.'
'Maybe,' Dora said disapprovingly. 'But he's like, three hundred and whatever years old, he should be more mature than this.'
'Dora!' Jess hissed, this time giving her friend a not so light dig. 'Would you keep your voice down?'
'What did I say?' the doe eyed blonde girl asked sounding perplexed.
'As far as everyone else in this school is concerned,' Jess whispered leaning into her friend, 'Luke is seventeen. Just like the rest of us. Hearing you declaring his real age might freak people out a little, don't you think?'
Dora began dragging Jess towards the door by the cuff of her sleeve. 'Relax Jess. It's not like anyone's listening to us.' But that didn't put Jess's mind at ease. What if someone really did have suspicions about the existence of the Night World? Jess didn't want to take any chances - and blurting out the fact that one of their classmates was three hundred years old and counting in a place where any number of humans could hear? That was risky.
OOO
Diandra was sat on the porch, head in hands, when Jess arrived home.
'D?' Jess asked cautiously. 'What's wrong? Why aren't you at work?' Diandra sighed deeply, resting her elbows on her knees and propping her head up with her hands.
'I've been trying to find a Vedauria practitioner,' she replied.
'Any luck?' Jess asked slipping her back pack off her shoulder and settling down on the porch beside her Aunt.
'I found a couple,' Diandra said unenthusiasctically.
'And?' Jess asked sounding a little impatient. The sooner they sorted this whole mess out the better.
'And I contacted them, told them our situation, and you know what they did?'
Jess shrugged her shoulders in reply.
'They laughed.' Diandra shook her head in disbelief. 'They found it amusing that I was actually asking for their help.'
'What's so funny about that?' Jess asked 'I mean, didn't you tell them we were willing to pay?'
'They don't need our money,' Diandra replied. 'And apparently, they're too busy anyway.'
'Too busy to give us a spell? Like that's so time consuming!' Jess threw her hands up in frustration. Diandra patted her knee lightly. 'There has to be some other way,' Jess continued. 'Maybe... maybe... maybe we could go to the elders?'
Diandra's face was sad as she spoke. 'Normally I would agree with you, but do you realise how much trouble Tally would be in if they found out what she'd done?'
Jess frowned. 'Maybe they'll be leaniant. I mean, she's only fifteen.'
'Which makes the fact that she managed to cast a spell so powerful that it actually put someone in a coma all the more serious. The elders don't take too kindly to powerful witches who use their powers to hurt people. They would see a witch who was so young and so powerful as a threat, a danger.'
'Tally needs something to deter her from doing this again,' Jess said regretfully. 'Maybe handing her over to the elders wouldn't be such a bad thing.' The door behind them suddenly slammed shut with a deafening crash. Diandra and Jess turned sharply to find Tally stood on the doorstep.
'Thanks a lot!' Tally fumed angrily. 'It's nice to know who I can - or in this case can't - rely on!' Jess was not in the mood for a fight. Without saying a word she picked up her back pack and walked past Tally into the house. She didn't like ignoring Tally, but Jess didn't know what else to do. There was no point in lecturing her about the differences between right and wrong - Tally had heard it all before and it never made the slightest bit of difference to her. Jess couldn't just act like everything was normal either - everytime she looked at Tally her mind was flooded with visions of Laila. As she ran upstairs and into her bedroom Jess couldn't help but wonder if her relationship with her little sister was ruined forever.
OOO
'Look! See! Didn't I tell you it was gorgeous?' Dora shoved the catalogue in Jess's face enthusiastically. Jess swatted it away, grabbing a handful of popcorn. 'I'll never be able to afford it,' Dora went on. 'It's unbelievably expensive.' It was Friday night and Jess had escaped from her tension filled house to spend the night at Dora's.
'Are you even listening to me?' Dora asked waving a hand infront of her friends face.
'Of course I am,' Jess replied, turning her attention back to the blonde girl.
'Sure you are,' Dora said grumpily. She slapped the pages of the catalogue shut and crossed her arms across her chest. 'We were supposed to be having fun tonight Jess, but so far all you've done is stare out of the window.'
Jess shrugged and sighed. 'You're right. I'm sorry Luke, it's just - '
'Stop right there!' Dora screamed waving her hands up in the air.
'What?' Jess asked in surprise. 'Why are you freaking out?'
'Jess, you just called me Luke.'
This time it was Jess who folded her arms grumpily. 'Oh, I did not.'
Dora started to laugh, 'You did! I swear it!'
Jess reached for the catalogue and opened it at the kitchen appliance section. 'You're imagining things,' she replied matter of factly, pretending to be engrossed by blenders and steak knives.
'Why would I imagine that? You're the one who's crazy about him.'
Jess scowled at Dora, throwing the catalogue in her direction. 'I am not crazy about him Dora,' Jess said insistantly. 'This whole situation is really awkward - I can't believe you'd be so insensitive.'
'I didn't mean to be,' Dora replied. 'It's just this whole thing is kind of weird. But, Jess, you did call me Luke. I guess I don't need to ask what - or should that be who - you're thinking about.'
Jess swung her legs up onto the window seat she was sat on and hugged her knees up to her chest. 'I'm thinking about a lot of things. And, okay yes, Luke is on the list, but so is Caleb.'
'You should call him,' Dora said shoveling a dainty handful of popcorn into her mouth.
'Who?' Jess asked.
'Caleb,' Dora replied, spitting popcorn crumbs everywhere.
'Dora, you are so gross,' Jess said sounding disgusted, as she wiped away a piece of soggy popcorn that had landed on her cheek.
'Sorry,' Dora said, mouth still full to bursting and spilling forth a further spray of crumbs.
'Ewww!' Jess exclaimed, 'You got me in the eye that time!' She grabbed a tissue and proceeded to dab at the corner of her eye as Dora errupted into a fit of giggles.
'Oops, sorry again!'
Jess couldn't help but laugh with her. 'Be careful,' she warned through her giggles. 'You might choke!'
The sound of the phone ringing made Jess jump. 'Would you get that?' Dora mumbled, wiping at her mouth, still trying to chew the remaining popcorn. Jess reached over to the night stand and picked up the reciever. 'Hello?' She listened silently for the callers response then cupped a hand over the mouth piece. 'It's for you,' she told Dora.
'Of course it is,' Dora replied taking a sip of water. 'This is my house remember.'
'I think it's Danny Matthews,' Jess whispered, her face screwing up with mild revulsion.
'Give me that,' Dora said lunging forward and grabbing the phone from Jess's hand. 'Danny, hi!'
Jess went back to her spot on the window seat as Dora chatted in a hushed voice. Gazing out of the window her thoughts returned to her problems. Caleb, Luke, and Tally. Jess could hardly believe that she was counting Caleb as a problem, but he had told her he needed space, that he didn't want to talk to her. In Jess's book that amounted to a problem, a big problem. The look on his face when she'd told him that she had kissed Luke was one of pure sorrow. She had hurt him badly, and there was no way for her to take it back.
If only he knew, Jess thought sadly. If only he knew how I'd felt when Luke and I kissed. Like we were the only two people on the planet, that we were meant to be together. It had been a perfect moment... If Caleb knew that it would hurt him so badly. Jess balled her hands into fists and pounded them against her head.
At that moment Dora looked up, and the goofy little smile fell from her face to be replaced by a look of concern. 'Look Danny,' she began. 'I'm sorry but I really can't talk right now. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?' A second later Dora was hanging up the phone and shuffling across the carpet on her knees, stopping by Jess.
'Jess! What are you doing!' she cried taking hold of her friends wrists and pushing them down away from her face. 'Why are you hitting yourself like that? Have you gone crazy?'
'I don't know,' Jess replied sadly. 'Maybe I have! It would explain a few things - like why I turned into aggressive psycho bitch at The Onyx, why I kissed Luke. I'm insane - that must be it.'
Dora sighed deeply. 'You're not insane Jess. The whole Malachi thing - okay I wasn't there so I didn't get to see you in all your psycho bitch glory - but from what you told me, you just reached the end of your fuse, a fuse that's been burning for a long time. That doesn't mean you're crazy. And Luke... well... you guys have a bond, a very deep connection. It was bound to happen sooner or later.'
'How do I fix this Dora?' Jess asked solemnly.
'Like I said,' Dora replied. 'Call Caleb. You guys need to talk. He shouldn't just shut you out and hide away brooding. That's not going to help matters.'
Jess nodded. 'You're right. But speaking of calling people,' Jess said with curiosity, 'Why would Danny Matthews be calling you?'
Dora crossed her arms defensively. 'Why wouldn't he be calling me?'
'Uh...because he thinks you're a total weirdo?' Jess ventured, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
'No he doesn't,' Dora insisted. 'His friends might, but he doesn't.'
'Oh sure,' Jess said sarcastically. 'Like those guys have even one opinion that differs from the others. It's like they share a collective brain, an extremely underdeveloped brain. You're not dating him are you?'
Dora got to her feet and went to get the phone for Jess. 'Lets not concentrate on my love life tonight Jess. Yours is the one in serious need of some rescue and repair.'
OOO
Jess stared at Calebs profile, illuminated in the soft moonlight glow filtering through the windsheild of his car, listening to him intently as he spoke. 'It's over Jess. It has to be.' She was dumbstruck. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.
'No, no it can't be. I love you Caleb.' The words came out in a choked whisper, and hung in the air as if there was no where for them to go. It was just over an hour since Jess had called Caleb from Dora's house and now they were sat in his car in her driveway. Breaking up.
'I love you too,' Caleb whispered finally, his voice breaking a little as he struggled to keep the words calm and even. 'But you're not meant to be with me.' Jess practically leapt across the car and grabbed hold of his hands.
'How can you say that!' she cried. 'You don't know that Caleb!'
He suddenly looked angry, the beginnings of bitterness gleaming in his eyes. 'If I was the one for you, you never would have kissed Luke.'
Jess let her head drop to rest against his shoulder. 'I can't explain why I did that. I wish I could but I can't. Everything is so crazy right now, but if there's one thing I know for sure, one thing I know for certain, it's that I can't live without you. You're everything to me Caleb.'
Caleb turned his hands in hers and held onto them gently. 'I'll always be here for you Jess. Always. I may not be the soulmate, the one you're meant to fall in love with lifetime after lifetime. But I'll always be one of your soulmates. One of the people you share your lives with again and again. I'll always be your best friend, and I'll always be here when you need me.'
'I won't let you do this Caleb!' Jess sobbed. 'I won't let you tell me that I'm not meant to be with you! Can you honestly imagine being with someone else? Is that was this is about - you not wanting me anymore? Because if it is then just say -'
'It's not about that,' Caleb interrupted. 'I can't imagine loving anyone more than I love you. But when I listen to you talking about Luke, I don't know, there's something there, something that goes beyond what you're actually saying. Something that tells me you love him more than you could ever love someone else.'
Jess's jaw hung open, she was speechless. 'It's just a feeling I get Jess,' Caleb told her sadly. 'I know you better than anyone. And despite of what you may say about him, when Luke's around there's this depth of emotion that just radiates from the two of you. I never really thought about it until you told me what the deal was with you guys. I guess I was just so secure in our relationship that I thought nothing would ever come between us. I was wrong.'
Jess and Caleb looked into one anothers eyes sadly, their hands intertwined on their laps. 'Please don't leave me,' Jess whispered finally.
'I'm not leaving you Jess, I'll always be around. Just not as your boyfriend.' Jess's tears spilled smoothly down her face, pale in the moonlight. Calebs eyes had welled, but he fought to hold back the tears. He lifted Jess's hands to his lips and kissed them gently. 'Bye Jess,' he whispered.
Jess forced herself to climb out of the car, numb from shock and shaking from head to toe. She watched as his car reversed out of the driveway and disappeared down the road. It suddenly felt like something was missing - as if her heart was gone. It wasn't the way people described it, she realized. It didn't feel like her heart had been ripped out. Instead, it felt as though it had died, suddenly, quietly, disappearing without a trace.
