A/N: Back to the grind as usual. And for once, there's no uberness in my life to babble about in my opening! Aside from the fact that everyone needs to go read Cendrillo's Silence right now immediately.
I've already started work on my next project. I'm going to try and space it so I have some time to really work on the project as a whole while I work on Deeper Water, but hopefully I'll have a chance to take my time on the next project. The nature of it requires that it be completed before the end of December, but that won't be too troublesome, I think.
"Maki-yan" is Yuu's nickname for Minami. Reference volume 1 of the Tokyopop ComiPa manga if you don't believe me.
On with the show!
4: Winter Marches On
January 12th
Ogikubo 21-12
Ogikubo, Tokyo
4:15 PM
"Anyone home?" Yuu called as she opened the door of her uncle's apartment. Not really expecting anyone at this time of the day, she wasn't surprised to be greeted by the silence that led from the sitting room. Kicking excess ice off in the foyer, she hopped out of her brown school shoes and into her worn blue house slippers, and then headed into the kitchen to retrieve her favorite mug; it bore a long-faded logo of the Kobe Aquarium Park.
Decisions, decisions, she thought, rubbing her chin as she opened the cabinet above the hot-water dispenser. The ubiquitous faucet-like appliance was filled every morning and left plugged in; it was a rare Japanese household that didn't have one for the near-constant intake of tea.
The cabinet, however, was her true interest; the modest three-shelved kitchen cupboard was the family's tea storage area, with a shelf each for black, green, and herbal teas.
It's too cold for sencha. I'm not hungry enough for genmai tea. White tea is too mellow for a cloudy day like this. English tea... no, definitely not in the mood for something sweet right now. Dark, cloudy, burdened with emotion... today is an oolong tea day.
Yuu nodded with conviction, reaching for a tin on the black-tea shelf. The rectangular canister was red, with motifs of dragons and old-style Chinese art of valleys. Despite all the kanji she had studied over the years, Yuu still didn't understand a good chunk of the Chinese writing on the can.
Who cares? She thought, pulling open the tightly-sealed lid of the tea canister. Closing her eyes, she took a deep whiff of the tea, but wrenched her nose when the tinglingly hearty scent of oolong tea was replaced by the artificial scent of wrought tin.
"When did we run out?!" Yuu adopted a look that was normally reserved for those who were being electrocuted after their favorite puppy was accidentally hit by a car. "It was a perfect afternoon for oolong tea..."
She scanned the cabinet for an acceptable substitute, but only oolong tea was oolong tea.
"Dammit, now I have to go back out." Yuu harrumphed her way through the apartment to her room, changed out of her school uniform into her familiar old jeans, striped long-sleeve shirt, and hoodie; she swiftly grabbed her messenger bag and checked her wallet.
"Just enough for a fresh can of tea," she folded up the tan leather billfold and slipped it into her messenger bag. "Uncle Hoshiro is sure as hell going to pay me back for this; he's the only other person that drinks oolong tea here."
Yuu sighed as she tromped to the foyer, half lamenting the absence of the perfect tea to match the present situation, and half angry that house slippers didn't make a more satisfying noise to signify anger. No point in whining, she thought as she tied her favorite red sneakers. A bad knockoff of Chuck Taylors, they were nevertheless sturdy and warm, having been proven through many Kansai winters before.
"I'll be back soon," she half-announced, locking the door behind her and heading down the stairs of the apartment.
The plan was to keep going from today, and then this had to happen, she thought as she rounded the squared-spiral staircase of the four-story apartment building. I had a great mood going from the weekend just from being around Kazuki, and then I got it thrown off-kilter when he had to get yoinked by Mizuki. I had the perfect plot chain running for my dojinshi, I was getting it on the storyboard, and because of that, I didn't hear a word in class from lunch onwards. I was going to finish another four pages of layout before dinner, but I can't do that without my tea, dammit!
The convenience stores in Ogikubo didn't carry tea, but luckily, the shopping lane near the JR station had a tea shop. Yuu bunched herself under her hoodie for warmth under the already darkening winter sky, lamenting having to be outside without something hot to drink. This is my own fault for not buying that jacket in Kobe, she thought as she headed towards the Mandarake store. In the shadows of the big department store, the Shinsenseikyu Tea Shop's modest storefront displayed the classics of tea: large burlap sacks with Chinese and Indian writing on them, fake plastic tea bushes, and tea services in the Japanese, Chinese, and English styles alike.
I always love the smell of this place...
Yuu stepped in the store to the enthusiastic "Welcome!" of the half-Chinese owner. The balding, stately tall man bowed enthusiastically, and Yuu returned his greeting. He immediately returned to whatever occupied him behind the counter, scurrying from left to right, working simultaneously on balancing his books and ordering inventory, half-singing an old-sounding Chinese song to himself.
I learned to draw in a place that smelled like this. Uncle Hoshiro's apartment, before he married Aunt Konoha, always had tea about it. She picked up the usual brand of oolong tea, the same tin container as was already in the apartment, and held it up against a brand she hadn't tried yet.
"Dig the original names," Yuu deadpanned sarcastically to herself. "Golden Dragon or Golden Red Dragon. Oh, Eight Dragons. Dammit, as much as I like oolong tea, someone other than China has to produce it."
Tucking one of the new brands—Golden Red Dragon—under her arm, Yuu ventured off, grumbling at the lack of Taiwanese oolong teas. She was pondering Tungting oolongs, wondering if she really wanted to spend an extra thousand yen on the same amount of tea, when the door opened and closed again. "Welcome, welcome!" the owner's enthusiastic voice sounded out. "It's always so nice to see you, miss."
"No, really, Wei-san, the pleasure is mine," a friendly, soft female voice gently announced as the speaker walked in to the small tea shop. Yuu looked around the corner, having discarded the Tungting in favor of train fare to and from school. A tall, dark blond-haired woman wearing a dark blue skirt and a comfortable-looking collared sweater turned the corner towards the Japanese tea shelves.
I could swear I knew who that was...
The faint sound of humming echoed over the owner's scurrying behind the counter. "Can I help you with anything?" he piped up, noticing Yuu peering towards the shelves on the far end of the store.
Yuu shook her head. "I guess I got what I needed." She stepped up to the counter.
"Golden Red Dragon? Yes, yes, that's new in from Nantou by way of Guangdong," the tea man said with an appreciative nod. "This is a Taiwanese oolong that's processed in the Chinese style, so it costs less than a Tungting but still has the body of Taiwanese."
"Yeah? I needed a good, woody oolong. For a day like today, it's perfect."
"If this were my old store over in Mita, I would be more than happy to offer you some, especially on a day like today," the owner said good-naturedly, accepting Yuu's ¥930. "I hate sending you off without at least having a taste of what you're buying."
"It's part of the excitement;" Yuu grinned. "Like gambling with tea."
"Such a spirited approach to tea," the voice from earlier said from behind Yuu. She turned, greeted by a familiar smiling, bespectacled visage.
"Hey, Maki-yan!" Yuu greeted the older girl. "Fancy meeting you in a place like this, huh?"
Minami Makimura handed over a bill to the shopkeeper, holding up a can. "Just the usual again, Wei-san," she said as she handed over the bill. "Sorry to ignore you like that, Inagawa-san. I thought I recognized you. How are things with you?"
"Oh, up to no good as usual. We just ran out of oolong tea." Yuu tossed the canister from hand to hand idly as the two of them walked out of the store. "It's one of those oolong days, and I'm sorta deadlocked in my next project."
"Cold and cloudy means oolong, eh?" Minami asked, putting on the faux-fur trimmed coat that she had carried into the store. "I always thought that days like this were white tea days myself." She looked up at the sky, smiling gently. "The tea looks a lot like the clouds when you brew it in the right color of mug."
"That's pretty deep." The two set off towards the end of the shopping arcade.
"Tea is, after all, a matter of taste. I'm just hoping that you're able to find the right tea to help you on your dojinshi, Inagawa-san."
"Maki-yan, I know I've told you that you don't have to be so formal," Yuu grinned, stretching her arms behind her head. "Just call me Yuu."
"Right, of course. What sort of dojinshi are you working on now?"
"Actually, I'm not the only one. You remember Kazuki, right? He, myself, and Aya Hasebe are all contributing to one joint issue."
"Oh!" Minami clasped her hands together excitedly. "That's wonderful. You're all very talented; I do hope everything comes together in time for Comic Party. Are you heading home now?"
"Yeah, I should start getting back to work, although I'm still trying to pull out some more ideas. I had something in my head all day during school, but I lost it when I realized we were out of tea."
"Well, if you're not busy, would you like to join me for some tea in a more drinkable form?" Minami held up the plastic bag containing her sencha. "I usually stop by the Pageturner on my way back from Wei-san's. His shop always puts me in the mood for tea."
"I wish I could, but I spent my last cash on restocking the oolong supplies of the Inagawa household." Yuu shrugged. "Definitely another time, though."
"Don't let something like that keep you," Minami said with a smile. "If you'd like, I can cover for you."
"I couldn't..." Yuu shook her head. "As much as I could use the break, the last thing I need right now is having to owe extra money. Besides, I'd rather it be the other way around."
"Then consider it a thank-you from the Comic Party Preparatory Committee," Minami stopped walking in front of the glassed-in windows of the Ogikubo Pageturner Café. "You've been a part of the dojinshi scene that helped make ComiPa possible in the first place, as well as an enthusiastic participant. It benefits us if you sign up for a booth to sell at the upcoming ComiPa, so I'd like to think it's in my best interest to look after clients and comrades." Minami smiled a modestly winning smile.
"When you put it that way..." Yuu groaned. "Way to guilt me, Maki-yan."
"You don't have to, but you seem a little less energetic than normal."
"Well..." Yuu hesitated a moment. "Okay, but don't be surprised if I don't want to spend too much of your money."
"And don't be surprised if I said you didn't have to worry about my money."
Yuu poured some of the Imperial pouchong tea from the strainer into her teacup, a Western-style porcelain piece with a Dutch earthenware pattern. She swirled the tea in the mug, just staring at the mottled brown tea as it thinly coated the sides of the mug. It warmed her hands quickly, which was the primary reason that Yuu drank so much tea during the winter anyway. She set the strainer down on the small circular table at which they sat, tucked into a warmer corner of the café.
"They rarely have pouchong here," Yuu said as she kept her eyes locked on the tea. "I've been here a few times in the past, and even as early as last week." She looked up at Minami. "You couldn't have planned this at a better time, Maki-yan."
Minami sipped her green tea. "It was no trick of timing, Yuu. It just seemed like you needed someone to talk to."
"Well, yeah..." Yuu finally took a sip of the tea. It fit the day even better than she thought, with a fresh, roasty flavor that mimicked the woody depths of an oolong. "It's just... well, y'see, I've never been one to hold back on much of anything, but I really haven't had an out for a lot of things in my life lately..." she trailed off, her face adopting a look of confusion. "I don't know how to explain it, really."
Minami set her teacup down and folded her hands together. "I spoke with Taishi the other day," she said innocently. "He mentioned something about practicing tying a mens' necktie?"
Dammit, Taishi! Is THIS your way of treating something with discretion?!"I wish he didn't tell anyone about that..." Yuu sighed. "Better you than anyone else, I suppose."
"He did seem somewhat concerned. I must admit, I'm fairly excited for you, though."
"Excited? What do you mean?"
Minami leaned back in her chair. "I don't mean to pry, but is this the first boy you've ever really had feelings for?"
Yuu grit her teeth before she answered. "Yeah... this is the first time. I had my share of playing doctor when I was little and stupid little crushes that never went anywhere, but this is the first time I've ever felt like I had a chance."
Minami nodded. "If you have a chance, then what's standing in your way?"
"Well, two things... my own nerves, which I can overcome if I just really put myself to it... and the fact that there may be someone else."
"'There may be?'"
"Yeah. I don't know how he feels towards her... or even towards me, for that matter. She's spent so much more time with him in the past and they spend so much more time together now. I can't stand the fact that they have almost nothing in common, too. Everything he likes, she's vehemently opposed to. I mean, yeah, she's been getting better, and it's not like I dislike her as a person, but—" Yuu stopped speaking, realizing that she had just thrown out quite a stream of consciousness at Minami.
"Sorry about that. I kinda lost track of where things started and began; they've been up in my head for so long."
Minami extended a hand and laid it gently on top of Yuu's for a moment. "Let it out if you need to," she said softly. "I don't want to pry, so I won't ask anything other than what you'd want me to ask."
Minami withdrew her slim hand, leaving a gently warm feeling. Yuu nodded and took a deep breath.
"I really love him... I mean, to the point that I really do want to see him happy. I want to see him successful, I want to see him enjoy himself in everything he does. It's just to do that... I don't know if it's with me or this other girl. The way he moves, the way he does things and goes about his life... they seem so simple, so basic, but after I saw what I saw, after I spent the times with him that I did... I feel like I know him so much better. I feel like I can bring out those wonderful traits in him..."
Yuu took another sip of her tea, sighing deeply. This was the first time she had really spoken this to someone else, to a tangible human being. The reality of it finally sank into her as she looked up, into Minami's dark hazel eyes, still clear despite her relatively thick glasses.
"Minami, I want him to be happy, but I want him to be with me," Yuu let out, looking down into her teacup. She swallowed against the lump that was forming in her throat. "I don't want to mess it up. The way I feel in the pit of my stomach when I'm with him is just so wonderful. I don't want to mess it up. I know that normally, I go about things brusquely and straight to the point... but what if that backfires? What if he hates me for it?"
Yuu looked up from her tea. "All I've been able to do so far is try and put my ideal situation into dojinshi form. It's pathetic. I'm working with Kazuki and Aya for a Valentine's special release, and all I can think about is what I want to happen with this guy... all I can do is put it into dojinshi form and gloss it over in the sense that I'm trying to work with a new idea. When in reality... I'm a liar, and I'm a self-inserter. That's two things I hate to be."
Minami nodded. "It's never easy, is it?" she asked rhetorically, taking a final sip of her tea. "But let me ask you this... would you truly be satisfied if he knew how you felt and he didn't feel the same way?"
"I... I don't think I'd be satisfied... I wouldn't be happy, but I couldn't force him, of course. No, I wouldn't be truly satisfied... but I know I'd have to deal with that..." Yuu rubbed her eyes gently, already close to tears from pouring her soul out. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and re-composed herself.
"If that's how he truly felt, I'd accept it eventually," she said, finally sitting up straight in her chair with her hands flat on the table.
Minami nodded. "But the problem is that you haven't yet told him how you feel."
"And therein lies the problem," Yuu said flatly.
Minami nodded. "It's never easy making that leap from friends to more than friends. That's why it's making a leap, and not necessarily a given for any friendships."
"So you mean I'm basically on the same footing as the other girl?"
"Yuu, in so many different anime and manga, there's a confession of feelings that usually puts itself as a dramatic point. Sometimes, it leads to a reciprocation of those feelings. Other times, it leads to a rejection. Even others, it leads to retaining the status quo between the two people. The latter two, of course, are never easy to stick with."
"Yeah... I try not to think too much about what happens if he doesn't feel the same way."
"But that's why you have a chance," Minami said with a smile. "If you focus on the good things, if you work hard towards making the good things a reality, you won't have to be preoccupied with what could go wrong. I know you well enough that you wouldn't preoccupy yourself with it anyway, and you haven't yet."
Yuu shook her head. "No, I haven't... that's pretty uncanny of you, Maki-yan."
Minami put the tips of her fingers together, forming a thin steeple with her hands. "You deserve happiness, Yuu. Everyone does. Yes, you may be rejected, but you may also find something more beautiful in the relationship. I can't tell you what to do or how to do it, or even if you should do it. Those and all other decisions are all up to you. But if you do pursue this boy, you should do so purely, and with all your heart."
Yuu blinked away some tears that were still remaining in her eyes as her heart pounded a little more heavily. "You're right..." she said quietly. "I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else."
"When one voice echoes in a small room, the same voice and the same words only become louder with every echo," Minami postulated. "But when spoken to the ocean, all you hear is the ocean."
"I'm going to write that one down and steal it if you're not careful."
"I've got as much to share as there is tea in Wei-san's shop," Minami smiled. "I'm just glad I could help you on your way, Yuu."
Yuu bowed formally to Minami as they parted ways at the Ogikubo JR station. "Thank you for everything, Maki-yan. I hope one day I can repay you properly."
"It's nothing to repay," Minami said, holding up her hands. "But how will you get to and from school, Yuu? You didn't have to pay for the tea like that."
"It was the very least I could do. I'll extract the money from my uncle; he'll owe me for the tea. I owe you so much for the help; you're as wise as they come."
"Yuu, you know you can call on me whenever you need. I'll help wherever and whenever I can. You have my cell phone number, right?"
Yuu nodded exuberantly. "You can call on me for anything you need, too," Yuu pressed her thumb to her chest triumphantly. "From hefting boxes to hostage negotiations, Karamitei is at your service."
"Well, I just need to get back to the office then," Minami waved and smiled, heading through the gates of the station. "Good luck, and keep me informed as to what happens!"
Yuu briskly walked home, energized by the tea and Minami's advice, dashed up the stairs, and flipped to a blank page in her sketchbook. She did a quick layout of blossoming cherry trees, a staple of Japan in the springtime, and rewrote the first frame of her dojinshi:
"I have no regrets, Hiroshi. I loved you every moment that I could, and I would do it all over again in an instant. I have no regrets."
December 31stKobe
I never considered an outfit like that. It's probably why I didn't end up buying it. I never saw anything wrong with how I dress. I think it's cute enough, and it's definitely comfortable. But that... this is WINTER. I'd freeze. At least my legs would.
Then why the hell did I try it on?
Yeah, I bought my hoodie here at Dokiko, and my American shoes, too. They said that all the artistic types in the States wear shoes like these. I trust Dokiko for clothes that I like, that stand out a little. But this is something entirely different.
Here I am, though, looking at myself in the mirror, with the complete outfit. A white mock-turtleneck shirt, dark red pleated miniskirt, and really nice half-and-half Oxfords. It'd look great with dark brown socks so long as they're not the damn loose socks that junior high school girls wear. This is sophisticated, it's basic, it's something Kazuki might even like on me.
Pair it with this jacket and it'd be perfect... God, if only I could afford it! Dark brown leather, buckle closers, and white trim... I love the way it all looks. Hell, for someone as short and slim as me, it makes me look more feminine... hell, the placement of the closers on the jacket make my boobs look just a little bit bigger. I could use the extra, that's for sure.
Even without the jacket...
I can't find a reason not to buy it. I've got all the art supplies I need, I picked up some dojinshi at the shop from earlier... dammit, I want this jacket, too. I've never really WANTED wanted a certain outfit before, but this is something I really want. I don't have anything else to match it.
I guess I'll do what I can with what I have... and for nine thousand yen with the Oxfords, it's really a good bargain. I guess Kansai folks have to go back to Kansai to really bargain-hunt amongst their roots.
I need an excuse. I need a reason to wear this for Kazuki.
I need to take the initiative and do something.
To be continued...
