A/N: Shorter this time, but I'd like to experiment a little bit like this. See how it works and all that wonderful jazz.

Everyone, come and visit the Comic Party Spot Sale forum! It's the only active gathering place in the English language for ComiPa fans! It's at comicparty dot proboards39 dot com.

My loyal beta-ers are socked in with finals this week, so all errors are mine and mine alone. I'd appreciate corrections E-mailed to me and I will credit appropriately.

On with the show! (Short babble this week, no?)


8: Come Undone

February 4th
Ichidai High School
Ichiguro, Tokyo
12:35 PM

"I'm actually really excited," Kazuki pulled up his desk to Yuu's. "I've never really been outside of Tokyo in my entire life."

"My brother, such a narrow worldview will do a great disservice to our path of conquest," Taishi chided, edging in his own desk and his own two cents along with it.

"Taishi, we're not going to Kobe to conquer anything or anyone." Yuu narrowed her eyes, staring Taishi down. "When Aya and I are done relaxing with him, and only after we're done, he's all yours again."

"I must again protest the fact that this sabbatical is restricted to immediate members of the dojinshi circle involved," Taishi crossed his arms in his normally theatrical irritation with all things in the present. "This exclusivist behavior only serves to further isolate dojin from dojin and foster the competitive establishment that foments a blockage to the revolution!"

"Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be martyred, Taishi?" Yuu threatened.

"Hmph. I vehemently protest this renewed and abusive practice."

A yakisoba sandwich flew upside Taishi's head, silencing his protest.

"Lunch is up;" Mizuki tossed another yakisoba sandwich in her right hand up and down, like a baseball, as if preparing to launch another volley. "I've got enough for you guys and then some." She growled the last part, knowing that yakisoba sandwiches hit very hard. The extras were her extended ammunition.

"This isn't over," Taishi's eyes glimmered akin to the sparkle of his wry grin.

"It won't get you any closer to this weekend, Taishi," Yuu smiled back with all the sweetness of a vinegar factory.

"What about this weekend?" Mizuki asked, curious, as she unwrapped her sandwich.

"I didn't tell you?" Kazuki asked between chews. "We're going to Yuu'th family'th hoth thpring," he explained with a mouth full of fried noodles and cabbage.

"You're going to what?"

"My eternal brother over there has decided to subvert years of friendship and unity in favor of a mere hot spring."

"A hot spring?" Mizuki's eyes lit up.

Oh, no. This isn't going to happen. No WAY. I am NOT giving you a buy-in on this.

"Yeah, we're going to kick back and recuperate," Yuu unwrapped her sandwich. "The three of us have worked our butts off all month, not to mention school and all that junk, so I figured I'd drag 'em home with me this weekend."

"This weekend?"

"Yeah, it's the last chance we have before the next Comic Party."

"Oh..." Mizuki deflated, taking a bite out of her sandwich. "Sounds like it'll be fun."

"Please direct all scorn towards comrade Yuu, my sister," Taishi grumbled.

"No, it's okay. You guys deserve to relax," Mizuki flatly respond as the joined tables shook suddenly and Kazuki let out a stunned yell.

"Ow!" Kazuki leapt up and rubbed his shin. "Mizuki, what was that for?"

"Nothing..." Mizuki replied. "Wasn't me that kicked you."

"Yeah, it was my other foot acting on its own, right?"

"It slipped. Let's just eat."

"Geez. What's with you?"

"Nothing. Eat." At that, Mizuki took a rather large bite of her sandwich in a rather animalistic fashion, as a lioness would take a chunk out of a hyena.

Kazuki sat back down, not mentioning another word, as Taishi shot him a concerned glance. Kazuki returned the knowing look, the two old friends communicating in a rare manner.

"Say it, Kazuki," Mizuki mumbled out after swallowing her chunk of sandwich. "Just say that this is for you dojinshi types only."

"Mizuki, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. Nothing's the matter. I've got to go to the ladies' room. Excuse me." Mizuki got up from her chair, deliberately avoiding looks from the three others at the table.

"Wait up a sec! Mizuki!" Kazuki was just a few steps behind her, but not fast enough to avoid a sliding classroom door in his face. Yuu calmly got up and opened the door as Kazuki nursed the bump on the forehead that he had incurred.

"Let me go talk to her," Yuu volunteered. "Chances are she really did go to the bathroom, and there's no way we're pulling any Ranmas in order to sneak you in."

Kazuki sighed. "I told her I'd be busy this weekend. I was out with her a couple weeks ago, and we hung out on Wednesday. I don't know what it is this time..."

"Only one way to find out, short of dressing you up like Multi again."

"Thanks, Yuu..." Kazuki sat back down limply, as if already burdened by something.

Are you trying to be Mizuki's friend? Yuu thought as she headed down the hallway towards the restrooms. Do you honestly have her best interest in mind? Or are you just trying to get some inside info?

I don't want to compete with her... and if this concerns Kazuki, I want in...

"Still angry at dojinshi?" Yuu asked upon finding a stall that was locked with no feet showing.

There was no response from the stall. Yuu sat down on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. "You gotta come out some time."

"It's his hobby," Mizuki's voice seemed to warble a little as she spoke, echoing with what started to sound like tears. "I need to get used to it. I really do. I just can't. Not if he's always going to be doing it."

"Except then it wouldn't be a hobby. It's just something he does."

"It's his life... but I always feel like he puts me down there with pond scum so much of the time. I keep trying to think that he really doesn't value dojinshi above his friends, but... his friends grow more and more in with dojinshi, and then there's me on the outside. I know it's his hobby, but it's becoming his entire being."

"Would you believe me if I told you I know how you feel?" Yuu turned her head towards the closed door of the stall.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"When I started drawing dojinshi, not just sketching characters, I mean really creating dojinshi, I instantly got thrown into the otaku crowd."

I haven't even told Kazuki this story.

"As a matter of fact... you remember Eimi, right? She was part of the people who initially propagated that crowd, way in the beginning of junior high. Before she got good and thrown right in with us, to boot."

"Really?"

"How else do you think our rivalry begain?" Yuu chuckled. "All my friends kept doing their usual thing... talking about boys, TV, the newest clothes, and there was Yuu, sketching away and wondering why she only got the token 'You wanna come too, Inagawa-san?'"

There were footsteps as Mizuki hopped down from the toilet seat on which she was standing in order to hide herself, and then the squeak of an ill-oiled door opening, then closing shut. She sat down next to Yuu.

"It doesn't really get any better, does it?" Mizuki sighed. "I don't get it. I just don't get it. Why does he have to be like this? We've been friends for so long. It's like I don't even matter to him anymore."

"Like you don't matter to him?" Yuu laughed. "Mizuki-chan, you've been friends with him and Taishi for years. I've barely been here since April. Trust me, I think you've got the leg up on the rest of us."

"It just still pisses me off," Mizuki huffed. "What does a girl have to do to get noticed around him?"

I wish I knew, too.

"Well... you ever notice that he gets really focused when he's bearing down on something?"

"Yeah... he was like that when we were painting in art class."

"That's how he operates, how he is. I mean, think about it. He really goes in on something. He doesn't let go once he's on a trail. When you see him like that, it probably makes you think 'why not me? Why doesn't he see me as something to be pursued just as much, just as intensely?'"

"Well... I mean, not like that... you know..." Mizuki blushed very obviously.

"Come on, let's face it. You're not satisfied with just being his friend."

I can handle it. I don't have to yield anything. She doesn't have to know.

"Not if he's going to keep treating me this way!" Mizuki indignantly replied. "Aah! No, no, I don't mean it that way!"

"He's got that about him," Yuu nodded. "I don't blame you in the least for feeling that way."

"I..." Mizuki paused. "Well... I've known him forever. We grew up together. You see how he and Taishi get along, right? They're inseperable. I don't want to lose that inseperability with him."

"But it seems like you don't want that inseperability from a friendship, Mizuki-chan."

"I just... I just don't see why he's gotta throw himself headfirst into dojinshi so much." Mizuki dug her chin in between her knees. "I just want to be with Kazuki. That's all."

"Yeah, but the more you try, the more you realize you can't stand what he does."

"I know, I know!" Mizuki almost whined. "You don't think I'm tearing myself up over that already?"

Yuu shook her head. "I guess it isn't that easy to do. Either that, or it's just part of you that you can't stand dojinshi..."

"Dammit. Why do I have to be like this? Why did Taishi ever drag Kazuki to that comic convention in the first place? It seems like everything's just gone haywire from there. I don't want to hate what Kazuki enjoys... I just do..."

"Hey, I'm glad he did drag you guys along," Yuu grinned, folding her hands behind her head and leaning back. "Think about it. If it weren't for that, you wouldn't even be facing this right now and you'd still have less than a clue about your feelings. You wouldn't feel like you're about to lose Kazuki. You're clearer for knowing how you feel about dojinshi. It led you to how you feel about Kazuki."

Mizuki didn't respond to that immediately.

"You've been spending a lot of time with him..." Mizuki asked after a brief silence. "What's he... what's he like? Is he at least taking care of himself?"

"What's he like?"

Where do I begin?

"He's still Kazuki... still always focused, eating less and less, and when he does eat, it's all junk food." Yuu laughed. "I'm to blame for that, but at least all the caffeine kick-starts our metabolism. Hell, the only time he's been going out and stepping away from school and dojinshi was with you."

"Nice to know that I'm just a subcategory."

"Hey, you can't expect me to give him up that easily."

Yuu's double entendre hit the mark just as it was intended. Mizuki's head fairly snapped to attention, and within the millisecond, she had turned towards Yuu, whose knowing grin was a little less outright than normal.

"Before the last ComiPa, you told me that you and Kazuki didn't have anything going on," Yuu chose her words carefully. "Apparently, that hasn't changed, especially the fact that you're not the only girl in his life these days."

"Yuu, you'd better not be telling me what I think you are," Mizuki mustered in her best angry voice.

Your panic shows. You really do love him. I keep trying to show you that you've gotta do something, that something's gotta give on one side or the other. Either you give up your pettiness and inability to expand yourself or I give up Kazuki. I'm tired of this. I don't want to be your enemy.

No. I won't go to blows this quickly. Dammit, I'm too nice to you. I want the boy you want, too. I should just go for it, but...

"Just be careful. Aya-chan, Reiko-chan, they spend plenty of time with him in dojinshi and work respectively," Yuu's grin returned to normal. "Hell, even Chisa-chan's making him chocolates."

"Come on. They haven't been spending nearly as much time with him as you've been, Yuu."

"Well, just count me among the few and the proud, then," Yuu stood up and dusted off her skirt. "C'mon, let's get you back. Some food'll help."

"Yuu, just tell me one thing." Mizuki stood up and took a breath. "Do you like Kazuki?"

"Of course I do."

"I mean do you like him."

"Yeah, you bet."

"More than friends?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes, honestly."

"Nope, you don't want my honesty."

"Yuu, stop playing games with me, dammit! I want to know the truth!" Mizuki turned around and grabbed Yuu's arm; her eyes were angry, but pleading, their violet tone glazed with a luster of emotion that Yuu couldn't immediately recognize. "Please. I don't want us to be opposed. If you like him, tell me the truth. If you don't like him, tell me the truth. That's all I'm asking."

"Do you really want that truth?" Yuu looked right into Mizuki's eyes, willing every single ounce of energy she could between that gap of space.

The silence that followed seemed to crackle with the forces pushing back and forth between the girls. Thought it only lasted for a few seconds, neither yielded an inch or spoke a single word.

I love him.

The thought resonated in Yuu's mind, and not for the first time.

I love making dojinshi. I love Kazuki, too.

"That's all I wanted to know," Mizuki said, taking a deep breath and letting it out.

"You asked," Yuu replied.

"I guess I just needed to hear it." Mizuki headed for the door, pausing before she opened it to head back into the hallway.

She turned briefly to Yuu, blinking a tear from her eye. "Thank you," Mizuki said. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. What reason do you have to thank me? If nothing else, you should have smacked me."

"I have every reason. Now I know. That's all I needed. That knowledge."

"I can understand if you hate me for that," Yuu sighed. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to that."

Mizuki shook her head, opening the door. "The only reason I'd hate you is if you would have lied about it."

"Heh. That I wouldn't do." Yuu leaned up against the wall of the restroom, crossing one leg over the other as if waiting for something.

"I don't intend to lose to you," Mizuki took a deep breath.

"You've got plenty catching up to do."

The air between them sparked inaudibly once again.

"You coming back?"

"Yeah."

December 31st
Kobe

"Thank you!" I heard the speakers blare over the tentative warm-up sounds on the drums and low, practicing thrums of a bass guitar. The audience cheered. Before the band even did anything, they cheered. I guess we picked the right place to be if even their warm-up gets applauded.

I turned in the bar stool to see what Eimi was gawking over. "Lead singer of a punk band?" I asked her, trying to catch her gaze. So much for looking someone in the eye when you talk to them. She was outright staring. "I expected better of you, Eimi-chan-sama."

Not even my mocking stirred her up. Geez. Looks like she's serious.

"I will not rest!" she exclaimed, unconsciously thrusting her fist upwards, half as if she was preparing for a fight, half as if she were mocking Taishi.

"Oh boy."

"Hey!" Eimi spat out. "Don't deny me my fated destiny!"

"Your fated destiny."

"Look here, panda, stick to your own species, okay? Shouldn't you be hibernating?"

I let her off with a light harisen slap that time. She's such a kid sometimes.

"We're Careless Memories," the singer announced. I finally got a good look at him. As much of a stereotype as it got. Baggy, strappy black jeans; short, bleached, spiked hair, and a flannel shirt with the arms torn off, unbuttoned, over nothing else. Too skinny. "Thanks for coming out tonight. ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!"

He fired out the count like a machine gun, and the drummer knocked his sticks together along with him. They exploded into a fast, grindy opening, highlighted by the guitar player cranking out a high-pitched lead tune.

"He's so amazing..." Eimi gushed, her eyes turning all shojo again.

"Gimme another," I gestured to the bartender, my back to the band and their newest groupie. This gin and tonic I took to sipping, rather than gulping, as the band played on...

"Mine, immaculate dream
made breath and skin
I've been waiting for you;
Chills, is it something real, or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers?"

It was a familiar sounding song, and the singer's high tenor voice really contributed to that tingling feeling in the top of my stomach. Familiarity, familiarity... where have I heard this song before?

The four of them—drummer, bass, guitar, and singer—broke into the chorus. I KNOW I've heard this song before.

"Can't help but keep from falling apart
at the seams
cannot believe you're taking my heart
to pieces;
oh, it'll take a little time,
might take a little crime,
to come undone; now,
we'll try...
to stay blind...
to the hope and fear outside...
hey, child;
stay wilder than the wind
and blow me in to cryyyy...
who do you need? Who do you love?
When you come undone?
Who do you need?
Who do you love?
When you come undone?"

They broke into the guitar lead from the opening again, breaking down for the next verse.

I know I've heard this song before.

To be continued...