Title: The Hate Lingers

x.x.x.x

It's not like I wanted it to be like this...

We were supposed to be enemies, supposed to be fighting against eachother.

And even though I know that no matter what I do and say, you'll always come back to me, your eyes pitiful and your skin trembling with the need to be touched.

No, I didn't want this at all...

Because, now... Now, I see you and you're hardly alive. Your once gorgeous, green eyes have dimmed until they're almost black. Your energetic spirit has faded until you've become an empty shell. And all I can think about is,

Was it because of me? Did I do this to you?

And even though I know the answers. Yes, it's always because of me... Even though I know, I cannot... Will not... Admit that your suffering was caused by me. Because you said it yourself.

We were in love.

But what is love now? Can you count on it when you're filled with despair? Can you rely on it when you have nothing else to give? Can love really hide your problems, keep them safe and make you forget anything in your life that has even caused you one bit of pain?

No. Love can't do anything like that. All love can do is tower over you, intimidate you and declare you weak. All love can do is make you want one minute and then make you hate the next. All love can do for you is give you an excuse... An excuse to live, when all you want is to disapear.

What is love?

What is the meaning of love?

Will it save me, when I need saving? Will it help me wipe my tears when i'm crying? Will love stroke me with it's tenderness when I need warmth?

But you. You showed me what love was... You showed me what it was and I had it. I almost had kept it... But me. I lose everything.

And now you watch me... Your eyes hurting. Your breath quickening and beads of water forming at your lashes. I can almost feel your skin beneath my fingers...

You excuse yourself from the table, your eyes continuing to burn. With one last stride, you've left.. All I have is the mere memory.

It wasn't like I wanted this. It wasn't like I knew this would happen. It wasn't supposed to be like this. But I did need it. And I need it still.

However, I can't come back to your strangled calls. Can't chase you around, and hope you'll see the truth of my feelings.

Because? Because no matter how much we love... The hate still lingers.

The hate will always be there.

The hate controls us.

And what is love?

I can't say. But the closest to love I have ever felt...

Was Hate.

x.x.x.x

A/N: I'm in a really depressed mood. Don't mind me...

It's supposed to be DMHP slash, but that's not strony implyed (except for the green-eyes thing) so yeah, use your imagination.