OK, a few things.

First, if y'all will kindly indulge me I want to gush here for a moment and single someone out; I hope I don't embarrass her. But Jessica Ann (aka Widow Shark), the compliment you made in the "PS" section of your latest review absolutely made my week. I can't thank you enough.

Second: Special thanks to those who are kind enough to post regularly, such as the aforementioned Widow Shark, L Killingsworth, Jezriana 2.0, Sestren NK, Ari-griffin, aimtbj, mithlond88, KitsuneAjurei, Spooks-a-lot, cptnshort, futuregoddess, kimnronever, and JPMod, (forgive me if I left any out) you guys are starting to feel like my regulars, my friends, my sobs emotionally my posse! All of your comments and compliments are greatly apreciated.

Thanks also to: Moonrae324, Cold-Chaos, horsefly.

And finally, a thanks to those who may be reading without necessarily posting a review, I deeply appreciate it.

Couple of notes: First, the ending of the last chapter seemed to tweak a couple of folks. I know teasers are gimmicky, but I didn't want to end the chapter with Kim deciding she'd ask Ronin about his relationship with Ron. I'm approaching this story with the flavor of the TV show 'Lost' (excellent show, check it out if you haven't) with all the flashbacks and the cliffhangers, and so forth. Sorry if it bugged anyone.

Second: this story will have an ending (plus a bonus epilogue). It has about four more chapters left to it. I decided to put the subplot about W.O.E. aside because it would have stretched out forever. I might just do a separate fic about it.

And finally: My apologies to any fans of humor and dialogue. This chapter, and the next are packed with exposition and dark themes. I tried to inject some levity into this chapter but it still comes off pretty heavy. I also think it turned out pretty well. At the end of this chapter you may find yourself asking "what was their final mission?" Answer: It's coming.


Chapter 8

Utter, utter misery.

Today was the day the man called Ronin – the man who used to be Ron Stoppable – would end his own life.

He'd thought he'd seen the depths of depression in the days after he ended his relationship with Kim. But now he sat, brooding, furious with himself, wondering how he could have been so stupid. Her life was in danger, again. All because of him, again.

This wasn't what the life of a tragically romantic lone hero was supposed to be like. Those guys didn't have their loved ones trying to avenge their fallacious deaths. They never took a punch in the face from the only person they've ever really loved.

They never held their soul mates close with the painful knowledge she didn't know who they were. They never had her head on their chest, smelled her hair, looked into her eyes, or listened to her voice of soft concern for their well being.

Because they weren't real. Imaginary figments didn't have to deal with painful pasts, didn't have to watch as the one they loved married someone else.

The funeral had been that afternoon, and like the idiot he was, he couldn't resist attending, at least from a distance. He found a perch in a tree, and watched everyone he loved in the world mourn his loss. Oh, the pain he had caused. The Drs. Possible, his parents, Kim, all were crying. Even Jim and Tim looked downtrodden. And for the first time, he got a good look at her fiancé.

There he was. Ray Beam. An arm around her in a gentle show of support and sympathy. It was maddening. He found himself wishing there was some fatal flaw about the man, so he could run down there, tear off the mask and shout, "He's no good for you Kim, come back to me!"

Only in the movies.

Truth was, Ray was probably perfect. Kim deserved no less. He wondered if she ever mentioned him to her hus-…fiancé. He's still her fiancé. Ronin didn't have to make any marital acknowledgments for at least another five days.

But something deep inside him had already decided he wouldn't be around that long. No faking it this time. The world was better off without Ron Stoppable, or Ronin for that matter. Both had made colossal failures of their lives. Both of them had put the one person they loved more than anyone else in danger, repeatedly.

Both of them had been desperately in love with Kim Possible.

And he knew that was the one thing he had that Ray didn't. Ray might be a good man, a wonderful husband, and a great father to her children some day. But he would never love Kim as much as Ron Stoppable did. Never.

Watching all this was sheer emotional torture. But in a thought of vicious self-loathing, he told himself he deserved it, and more. That's right, he'd sit there and watch the emotional suffering of everyone he ever loved because that's what he deserved. He was the cause of the suffering, after all.

Oh if only he had a time machine. If only there were some sort of magical, mystical

(monkey)

way of traveling back through time to fix his mistakes. Even if it was just a one-shot opportunity, he knew where he would go. Back to that afternoon. He'd go back and prevent himself from walking into that hospital room and making the biggest mistake of his life.


The waiting room in the Middleton Medical Center was quiet, almost as if everyone in it knew what was coming. Impossible, Ron told himself with bitter irony. That morning even he wasn't sure he should go through with this; walk into a hospital room and crush Kim Possible's heart, along with his own. And three days before the wedding no less. But he had to walk a fine line. Up until now, Kim was in no condition to get her heart broken, and waiting any more would put it right up against the wedding. The time was now. Again, he wasn't sure if this was the best way to go, but considering the alternatives… He concluded it was the alternatives he couldn't live with.

He looked across the waiting room table, stacked with old magazines and heavily used children's toys, to the twins on the other side. They were fidgeting, restless, wanting to get back home and make their plans. They were just thirteen, but were already talking about following in their sister's footsteps. He wanted to get up, walk over there and talk them out of it. Didn't they realize what kind of world it was? It was big, and mean, and nasty, and sometimes it wanted to kill you. Sometimes it did kill your loved ones. And if that happened, what did the world care? Who would shed a tear?

No one, he thought bitterly.

Ron looked up to see his parents emerge from the room. They all took visiting in shifts, with Ron getting the lion's share because he was her fiancé. The Drs. Possible were all smiles and sunshine. They were looking forward to gaining a son in the family. Well, a son-in-law at least. They pretty much considered him part of their family anyway. The fact that he would be legally related to them just seemed a logical conclusion. Almost a foregone one at that.

"She's all yours, Ronald!", Mr. Dr. Possible said cheerfully.

"Thanks," he muttered and got up to go in.

"What's wrong with him?" Dr. James Possible asked his wife.

"Probably just pre-marital jitters," she whispered back.

"Ah yes," Mr. Dr. Possible replied, "I remember those."

"You never told me…" They walked off chattering to each other.

Ron stopped at the door, trying to compose himself.

Just be firm, he ordered himself, then stepped through the door.

"Sweetheart!", Kim exclaimed, her face lighting up, "Oh, I'm so glad you're back. I don't think I could take one more minute of my mother and her ferocious wedding plans. The doctor says if I'm not out the day after tomorrow, maybe we can bring the minister in and have the ceremony here. What do you think of…"

She trailed off, noticing his face. They could practically read each other's minds these days. One look at him and she knew something was wrong.

"What is it?", she asked worriedly.

He stood there looking at her. Even in a hospital bed, with her hair messy, wearing that stupid gown with the open back – what was the point of those anyway? – she was breathtakingly beautiful. In their four year relationship, her beauty had only increased in his eyes.

He swallowed hard, trying to strengthen his resolve.

"We need to talk", he said quietly.

Kim Possible instantly turned pale.


That summer after high school graduation was sheer bliss. Thanks to a flexible boss, Kim didn't have a rigorous work schedule. She and Ron spent just about all their free time together. Warm days at the lake, or cool nights going to the movies together or sometimes double-dating with Monique and Brick, who were enjoying a summer fling. The one downer that summer was the fact that Bueno Nacho went bankrupt and never re-opened. It was discovered that Drakken had been illegally funneling investor funds to finance his Diablo-bots. When he went down, so did Bueno Nacho. Drakken was scheduled to do hard time in various maximum security facilities throughout the world, and it seemed to have a chilling effect on the rest of the villain community. Missions became less frequent than they were in high school.

They spent a few missions tangling with W.O.E., but since that does not play a major part of this story, perhaps I will save the telling of it for another time. As for the missions in general, Ron began to notice something of a vicious trend in the villains they fought. Once was a time when they could be counted on to spill their plans while leaving Kim and Ron in an easily escapable trap. But the villains were keeping their secrets to themselves these days, the traps were more elaborate and more difficult to escape from, and the bad guys themselves seemed to be getting more and more insidious. Violence came all too easily for some of them. After awhile, Ron actually began to get nostalgic for the likes of the Seniors or Motor Ed.

Suffice it to say that – but for missions - the world seemed to be a magical place wherever they went together. Kim accompanied the Stoppables on a two week return trip to Paris, and Ron went with the Possibles on a camping trip to Yosemite. Ron begged his dad for a chunk of the trust fund and bought Kim a car for her birthday. She was flabbergasted when he took her outside, blindfolded, and showed her the zippy little two-door sports car in the driveway. She protested mildly that she didn't deserve such an extravagant gift, or that he should save his money, and so forth. But deep down what she really thought was that she couldn't match his generosity. What would she get him for his birthday that could equal a car?

That evening, sitting in her new car at the Middleton Drive-In, she told him as much.

"Wait! What? Since when are we keeping score in this relationship?" Ron demanded.

"We're not," Kim protested.

"Sounds like someone is," he said turning his nose up indignantly.

"Ron," she sounded annoyed.

"Kim", he also sounded annoyed.

"Ron, it's just that in my whole life I'm never going to be able to give you the-"

"I'm sorry, your whole what?" Ron interrupted.

"I'm just saying – if you'll let me finish – that in my whole life I'll never be able to give you something this extravagant.!", Kim finished, then gasped. She'd said it without even realizing it.

"I didn't realize you were going to give us that long," Ron observed.

"I…uh…it's just that…", she stammered.

He was enjoying this.

"Make you a deal", he looked at her with a sly grin, "You give me that, and I won't expect any extravagant gifts. Not my whole life."

"Give you what?" she asked

"Your whole life," he answered.

"Ron are you asking me to-", She began.

"No…no I'm not. That would be a little premature," He said firmly. "But you gotta admit, you said that pretty easily."

"I didn't even think twice about saying it," she admitted. She wasn't sure what to feel. Was Ron 'the one'? The answer seemed obvious, but then it was also kind of a depressing thought to think her whole life was already planned out for her.

She'd been silent for a moment.

"Tell me what you're thinking?" he asked.

She hesitated, not wanting to hurt him, but not wanting to hide anything from him either. Biting her lip with worry, she told him, hoping he wouldn't be insulted.

His response surprised her.

"Yeah", he said, musing, "That's why I said it felt a little premature. But let me tell you a couple of things. The first is: Syntho-drone."

"Huh?"

"Remember prom night? Remember Eric?", he asked.

"Yeah," she said, still confused.

"You thought he was the perfect guy, turned out he wasn't even a real guy. If you're waiting for the perfect guy to come along, maybe you should go dig up the syntho-drone. Not to toot my own horn, but I don't think guys get more perfect than the Ronster," he said kicking back with mock bravado.

She giggled, "Maybe they don't. But I see your point about the 'perfect guy'. What was your other point?"

"Only this," he said turning serious, "Just because we may end up spending our lives together doesn't mean it's all planned out. There's a million things you can still do with your life, and the bonus is, you get to do them with your best friend!"

She pulled him to her, nuzzling him and kissing his neck, "You sure do have your moments, Ron Stoppable."

He leaned over toward her, "Yeah, they don't come very often but when th- ow…OW! Emergency brake! Why didn't I buy a car with bench seats?"

So she accepted his gift, and drove it to college that fall. She'd be staying in the campus dorms the first year, and then her parents agreed to talk about an apartment after that. Several of her classmates from Middleton attended GCU that semester. Monique was one of them, and she and Kim roomed together. Ron continued living at home with his parents, driving to his classes at Lowerton Community College every morning. He and Kim saw each other on average once a week, not including missions. Sometimes she would drive home for the weekend, or he would go see her.

Kim came to discover she actually preferred her relationship with Ron over dating college guys. Monique dated most of the offensive line during the fall, and then moved on to the basketball team in December. Kim didn't see the point. Sure, Monique seemed to be having fun, but her brief relationships were always so shallow and dead-endish. In a lot of ways, Monique seemed to be asserting her independence as a college student by perhaps dating guys that her father might not approve of. But since Kim (and Ron) had parents who allowed them to travel halfway around the globe at a moment's notice, she never felt any need to demonstrate her independence.

Kim's perceived aloofness drove the guys at her college nuts. Of course they'd heard of her, and she was hit on, a lot. Her disinterest in dating just made her that much more desirable. The worst part for a lot of guys was the fact that Kim was so nice when she turned them down. Rather than feeling rejected, guys would walk away feeling like they'd just had a pleasant conversation. It often took an hour or two to figure out they'd been refused. For Kim's part, the term "syntho-drone" would pop into her head whenever some guy seemed like an honest prospect for a relationship. After awhile, the propositions tapered off. Word got around she was dating the sidekick, and in an odd way, it seemed to make sense to everyone. Spend that much time with someone, save his life a few times, maybe he saves yours on occasion; dating seems like a logical convenience. All the women in her dorm thought it was romantic, but that was mostly because they had visions of vanquishing a foe on some exotic beach somewhere and then spending the rest of the time rolling around in the surf and making out.

Well, OK, so she and Ron had actually done that a couple of times but that was the exception to the rule.

Actually, Kim did have a few new men in her life, the way a lot of young men and women do when they get to college; men like Plato, Sartre, Balzac and Jung. And it wasn't just philosophy that intrigued her. She found her pre-med courses challenging and rewarding. There seemed to be a club for every interest on campus, and she tried a few of them. She decided cheerleading was something she'd grown out of, and so didn't try out for the team. Her schedule turned out to be very flexible with her mission requirements, and overall, she found college life suited her. After the newness of it wore off, she began to miss Ron more and more as that first year went on.

Ron worked hard to get his transcript to a level acceptable to GCU's standards. Naturally, Kim was the motivating factor. He wanted to be near her, and though he was glad to see her at least once a week, the long distance thing began to get old. Unlike Kim, Ron did stay with cheerleading. He seemed a natural as the Lowerton Lemur, and Rufus (who had returned from spending the summer with Wade) became something of a minor celebrity as the school's mini-mascot. On his occasional visits to see Kim, Ron began to make friends with a few of the people Kim had gotten to know.

Late that year, they had a series of run-ins with Monkey Fist, who had apparently graduated to gorilla warfare.

In the spring, Senor Senior Senior passed away. Ron and Kim attended the funeral in their mission gear as a show of respect for a formidable nemesis. At the service they got the shock of their lives when Junior introduced them to his fiancé; Bonnie Rockwaller.

As a joke the previous summer, Kim had forwarded an e-mail to Bonnie from Junior, expressing his undying love. Kim attached a note that described Junior as a "billionaire with his own private island and aspirations as a teen pop idol."

Bonnie couldn't hit 'reply' fast enough.

Spring came and went. Kim and Ron spent another blissful summer together in Middleton. Rufus went to spend another summer with Wade. Their relationship deepened, each seemingly becoming a part of the other. Ron became more assertive and helpful on the missions, while Kim found she would often make a wisecrack or momentarily lose her concentration at the wrong moments. You know how some people who have a pet for a number of years will eventually start to look like them? Or at least, they seem to? It was kind of like that. They argued, sometimes heatedly – once coming very close to breaking up - but always came out stronger on the other side.

In the late summer, just before the second year of college began, they brought down an obscure villain by the name of Cody Pendant. He was a moody fellow, prone to severe mood swings and erratic behavior. His plan was to take over the world using a jacked up version of Prozac. Drugged into a mind-numbed apathy, the citizens of the world would do his bidding or else: severe withdrawal symptoms. He was carted off to jail, but in a violent rage, he vowed revenge. They didn't take him seriously.

Time passed. The second year of college went by almost unremarkably. Professor Dementor spent the spring semester as guest lecturer for the Criminal Studies department at GCU. Kim audited his class. Seeing the smiling face of an arch foe in the third row vexed him greatly. She always raised her hand to answer one question or another and he always ignored her. Finally he couldn't take it.

"I should like it to be known in this class, that I HAVE A STANDING POLICY TO NEVER CALL ON AN ARCH FOE!", he said, bellowing by the end of his statement.

Kim sheepishly put her hand down.

Summer again, the time seemed to pass more quickly. Rufus was with Wade. The Possible and Stoppable parents began to joke with each other about when a date might be set. After attending the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Senor Senior Junior, Kim and Ron began to discuss it themselves, but mostly just in conversational tones, never really talking seriously about it.

Ron transferred to GCU in the fall, and got a house with Felix and two other guys. Ron gained some popularity for himself on campus as the new GCU Gopher, Rufus was, again, the mini-mascot. Kim and Monique had taken an apartment, and Monique limited herself to just the baseball team. It was more fun dating jocks in the off-season anyway.

Ron went into his third year still majoring in General Studies, which is a polite way of saying he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He loved his theater classes; drama, the study of film and television, creative writing classes. But he was having trouble settling on a career for himself. His parents didn't feel as though sidekick was a noble calling. Ron, however, was sure of one thing. Kim had a promising career in medicine ahead of her, and when she graduated the next year, she'd be applying to med school. That could be anywhere. As that third year went by, Ron began to see more and more that it made sense not to follow Kim off to med school as her boyfriend, but rather go with her as her husband.


In their four years together, Ron had never used the phrase. He'd stuck faithfully to their argument rules. So faithfully, in fact, that she'd dismissed the possibility that he'd ever utter those words.

"Can you at least tell me why?" She pleaded. She was sitting up in her hospital bed, Ron was in the visitors chair across from her. No one else was in the room.

"No, I'm sorry." He said quietly but firmly.

"But…why?", he saw in her eyes something he'd never seen before. Pain and confusion. He was expecting anger. This was much worse.

Because if I tell you my reasons, you'll just talk me out of it, he thought to himself.

She sat, staring at him, trying to absorb what he'd just told her.

"You've got to at least give me a reason. I think I deserve that much. Is it just jitters? We can postpone the wedding. Is it this mission we were just on? Would you rather I was out of the hospital before we get married? What? Please give me something!" She was still in shock, but his impassive demeanor told her he was serious. She looked as though her world were crashing down around her.

"It…I just…no. I'm sorry, but I can't." he stammered. He couldn't even look her in the eye. A small voice in the back of his mind was telling him what a huge mistake he was making. He pushed it away.

"I just…I don't know what to…how am I supposed to deal with this?" Kim demanded timidly. The tears began to form. It hurt him to see her like this. She was the strongest person he knew. She could do anything. But apparently this was too much for her.


This was getting to be too much for her. Kim had been tempted not to come to the funeral at all. But gently, in that loving way he had about him, Raymond had insisted. It would give her closure, he said. Of course he would come. He would go wherever she needed him. And she was grateful. This would be a good marriage. Maybe she didn't quite love Raymond with the intensity she had loved Ron, but it would be the steady, dependable security she felt she needed.

The funeral was open casket. Since there were no remains to put in it, the Stoppables asked, instead, that each person should bring something that either belonged to Ron or reminded them of him, and they would put it all in the casket as a monument to Ron Stoppable. Kim had brought her yearbook from senior year, convinced she was never going to open it again anyway, and needing to put those memories behind her. She had also retrieved the remnant of Ron's Driver's License which Monique had found that night. The police had it, but were willing to release it to her since it didn't prove to be much use as evidence. Their case was proceeding slowly. In some ways, she felt she was closer to finding Deathray than anyone else.

She studied the photo of the Driver's License, gazing at the man Ron had become. Handsome, but his eyes were dark and brooding. She guessed the last six years weren't happy ones for him… either.

The rabbi's voice droned in the background. Her mother sobbed quietly while her father tried to comfort her. Mr. Dr. Possible seemed to have aged twenty years in the last forty-eight hours. He'd already semi-retired from his position at the lab. Raymond was doing most of the work anyway, busy on some secret project that even her father didn't know about, and he never asked. If his daughter could trust Raymond, then he certainly could.

Trust had suddenly become an issue lately. Her relationship with Ron had been completely open, they kept nothing from each other. But when she asked Raymond to postpone the wedding, she didn't give him any reasons. She felt sure he would do his best to discourage her return to hero work, and after yesterday morning, she was seriously considering making her return permanent.

Originally, it was only about catching and bringing Deathray to justice. But yesterday morning, battling Deathray… yes, it was a defeat, and he got away, but she realized how much she missed vanquishing evil. This is what she was born to do. And this guy, Ronin, practically read her mind on the rooftop of the bank. They'd read each other's minds, in fact. He figured out her plan without a word passing between them. And then, when she was falling, she knew he'd leaped off the building in pursuit of her. She knew he'd be there to catch her. She couldn't explain it, but it didn't matter. No wonder her brothers like working with him. She knew he was a loner type, and probably wouldn't take a partner, but maybe he'd conduct a few mission with her along.

The thought of him caused her to look up and around. Lo and behold, there he was in a treetop some fifty yards away. He wouldn't be seen by anyone but her trained eye. So he did know Ron. And he was attending the funeral in his own way. It was so odd. She felt a sort of kinship with the ninja, a connection. Yesterday, hiding from Deathray, his embrace felt almost…

Familiar.

It was a weird feeling.

When she stole a secretive glance up to the tree again, he was gone.


One late summer day going into their fourth year, Ron turned twenty-one. His father handed him a folder, the details of his Naco trust fund. On a slip of paper just inside the front cover, Mr. Stoppable had written down a figure, summing up what everything was worth.

There were so many zeroes.

That evening, Kim and Ron were having a birthday picnic by the lake. The fireflies were out in full force, and the surface of the lake was completely glassy save for the occasional fish that jumped out of the water, and on the opposite shore, someone was playing a soft rock station on their car radio. The music drifted gently across the water to them. They were on a blanket. He was laying on his back, she had her head on his chest. They watched the stars come out one by one.

Ron pulled the piece of paper with the figure on it out of his pocket.

Kim sat up and stared at it.

"Wow", she gasped, "So that car you bought me was actually a cheap gift."

His eyes widened in shock.

"Kidding!", she said with a mischievous grin, "And here I thought I would be going off to med school with a poor boyfriend back home.

"Oh, I don't think you should leave Ronald behind anymore, do you?" came the voice of her father. Standing up and turning around, Kim noticed her parents emerging from the edge of the clearing.

"Dad?"

"It just wouldn't be right", agreed another voice. Ron's parents came out from behind a large oak tree nearby.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked, "Is this a surprise party for Ron?"

"Not exactly," Mr. Stoppable answered.

"Ronald's got something he wants to ask you", her father said quietly.

From across the water drifted the strains of the song "Could It Be". Their song.

Kim turned around to find Ron on one knee, holding a small jewel box with the lid open. The ring was a platinum band, and rather than a large, gaudy diamond, it was crowned with a medium sized stone surrounded by smaller ones in a sort of bouquet. The band itself was encrusted with diamonds all the way around. Kim's jaw almost hit the blanket.

Two minutes later, Kim's mother and future mother-in-law were admiring the ring on Kim's finger while Ron's dad popped open a bottle of champagne.

Year four was a busy one for them. In order to graduate, they each had to take on a truckload of credits. In the spring semester, just to see if he was interested in a related career, Ron took an internship at a drug research firm. His boss, Doctor Heeler, was a kindly old man; brilliant, but somewhat absent-minded. He was always asking Ron to remember things.

"Ron" he'd say, "I need you to remember the last equation in this formula. Ron, what was my password for the medical journal website? Ron, where is my lab coat."

"X minus 4 equals Z squared" Ron would reply without giving it much thought, "Your password is 'beaker', and you're wearing your lab coat."

For the most part, the job was dull, and Heeler allowed Ron to do his other schoolwork on the clock.

One day, however, Heeler burst into the lab, excited and muttering to himself.

"Ron!", he exclaimed, "I need you to remember this nucleotide sequence! Are you ready?"

"Yes", Ron said looking up disinterestedly from his work.

"X4171. Can you remember that?"

"Sure", Ron didn't give it another thought.

The following week, Heeler disappeared. Just vanished without a trace. Ron asked if Team Possible could assist in the search.

"Of course," Kim replied and had Wade keep his electronic ears open for any information.

The next month, Kim and Ron graduated from GCU. Ron with a General Studies major, but with a minor in Theater, Kim with her Bachelor's in Medicine. She had been accepted to Johns Hopkins University for the coming fall, but that was a thousand years away in her mind. They would be getting married in a week, and it was all she could think about.

On the morning five days before the wedding, the Kimunicator beeped.

"I've got a lead on Dr. Heeler." Wade informed them, "I think you're gonna need battle gear for this one."

They slipped into their battlesuits. Kim's was the white with blue trim, Ron's was white with silver trim.

"I've got transport all lined up," Wade said, "You need to get to the airport."

Kim looked at Ron. Ready? her eyes asked him.

Ron checked his pocket and verified Rufus was asleep inside. He nodded to her.

They set out, neither of them knowing it would be their last mission together.


Kim Possible was growing weary, She raised the hospital bed high enough so she could lean back against it and still talk to him.

"I can't do this anymore," he said getting up and walking to the door.

"I just can't."

He turned the handle and stepped out to the waiting room.

Kim sat staring after him, still in shock and disbelief. She lowered her head, put her face in her hands, and wept.

She never saw him again.


Misery. Utter Misery.

Ronin stood outside the abandoned warehouse. This was where the empty battlesuit had come to a rest the night of the reunion. He figured Deathray's lair had to be nearby.

He'd left the Lotus Blade at home with a note detailing instructions for its return to Master Sensei. Wade would find it. Ronin hadn't shut off the override since the battle with Deathray the day before. Wade had no idea where he was.

His mind was numb. She had seen him! Of all the people at the funeral, she was the only one who knew he was there. It was too much for him to handle.

Ronin decided his one colossal mistake was not in ending their relationship after their final disastrous mission together, but rather it was in coming back to Middleton at all. What made him think he could be anything other than a pathetic sidekick?

That had been his whole intention, after all. The years of training, setting himself up as his own superhero, all of it he had done with the intent of impressing her; showing her he wasn't a failure or a buffoon. He'd come sailing back into her life, sweep her off her feet, show her he could make something of himself.

It turned out she was engaged, and he'd been such a fool to think she'd wait for him. After all, he was the one who walked away, never telling her where he was going, or when he'd be back. Originally, he had no intention of coming back, but he thought if there was just one chance…

He'd made a pretty big mess of everything. Now, there seemed to be only one shot at setting things right. He couldn't bear the thought of putting Kim's life in danger again. But maybe, he thought, just maybe if he offered himself as a sacrifice to Deathray, the villain might be appeased. He had come to the conclusion at last, that he just could not bear living without her.

Somewhere far off, he heard the thumps and hums of heavy machinery. He thought all these warehouses had been abandoned. But he could be wrong. He certainly was wrong about everything else in his life.

Images of a suffering Kim Possible haunted him. His mind boiled over with the sights and sounds of yesterday. Watching in horror as Deathray swatted her from the air. Or when she was almost vaporized. Or that final mission six years ago. Cries of pain. Images of agony. All because of him.

He looked about. Somewhere there was bound to be a secret entrance. He'd done this enough times.

At one end of the warehouse were three massive boilers. Two were in operation, the fire glowing within them, but the center one was dark. He walked up to it, turned the main control knob, and the boiler slid noisily backwards to reveal a ramp that went underground. At the bottom of the ramp, alarms began to blare. He found himself in a massive underground room full of electronic equipment. One entire wall was covered with a view screen. Right in the center of the room was a large, round sunken tank that extended six feet below the floor. The alarms abruptly shut off. There was a corridor at the far end of the huge central chamber. From it came the sounds of stomping metal; the sounds of Deathray.

He strode into the room and walked right up to Ronin, disintegrator at the ready.

For a moment, they stood face to face, regarding each other.

"What do you want, Ninja?" came the booming electronic voice.

"I have come to offer a trade", he responded.

"What kind of trade?"

"My life for Kim Possible's."

Silence.

"Elaborate", Deathray demanded.

"If you give me your assurance that you will not kill or harm Kim Possible, then you can have my life to do with as you see fit.." Ronin said firmly.

Silence again.

"You have my word" Deathray finally said.

Somewhere deep inside Ronin there was still Ron Stoppable. He was still a guy who sometimes didn't really think things through to their logical conclusion. He thought since Deathray just had a beef with him, then he'd leave Kim alone after the ninja was out of the way. Ronin, of course, was lost in his 'sacrifice-myself-for-the-girl' delusion of heroism. It never occurred to him that the bad guy wouldn't keep his word.

"Then I surrender myself to you", he said, and pulled off his mask.


"Stoppable?" Ray yelped inside Deathray's cockpit. He sounded like startled puppy.

"STOPPABLE?" he bellowed, this time enraged.

He raised a massive, mechanical arm, swung it as hard as he could, and batted the ninja away. Ronin sailed through the air, slamming into the wall on the far side of the room. He crumpled up in a heap and barely stirred. Deathray stomped over to him and powered up his disintegrator.

He stood there, contemplating the dark warrior.

"What are you waiting for? Vaporize him!" Shego shouted over the communicator.

"No", Ray said, lowering the disintegrator, "Too quick. Too easy. This is Ron Stoppable. I want to watch him suffer."


When Ronin regained consciousness, he found he was on his knees, his arms chained behind him to the floor of the sunken tank. He looked up to see Deathray standing above him. Neither of them said a word. From small, square holes placed around the floor of the tank, water began to bubble and surge forth. Ronin struggled a little; drowning was actually one of his darkest fears. He craned his head around to see the chain that bound his hands and arms went through a loop welded to the floor. In addition, the chain around his arms was welded together, as opposed to being held together by a lock. Deathray had been thorough. There was no way Ronin would be able to struggle out of these. But then again, he wasn't really trying.

The water level surged upward. His knees were already below the surface.

A noise caught his attention and he looked up. Someone was climbing out of the mechanized battlesuit. The figure came to stand at the edge of the tank, glowering down at him. Where had he seen that face before.

Yesterday, at the funeral.

Ray Beam! Kim's fiancé!

This was Deathray?

Ronin's mind went blank. Was Kim turning to villainy?

"Awww," said a hauntingly familiar voice, "Ninja boy looks scared."

The owner of the voice walked over to Ray and gave him a passionate kiss, then turned to look down at Ronin with a sadistic grin.

Shego!

The water level had reached his waist.

Ronin's heart began to gallop. This was all some elaborate revenge plot against Kim! And he'd played right into it! In one bitterly final twist of irony, Ronin realized he had made his last, and probably his most colossal mistake. He had abandoned Kim at the hands of her enemies. Despair washed over him like a tidal wave. Now Ronin saw fresh new images of the suffering they would no doubt put Kim through.

What had he done?

He began to struggle weakly against the chains. The water level was up to his chest.


Shego stood, her arms around Ray, looking down at the wretched face of Ron Stoppable. How many times had she seen that face twisted in triumph over her defeat? How many humiliating wisecracks had she endured at his expense?

But now, revenge was finally coming to pass.

And yet… it wasn't quite what she'd expected. She was expecting anger and defiance from him. Maybe some sort of statement about how they'd never get away with this. But what she saw on his face was confusion, uncertainty, and finally, despair. She realized he was thinking about Kim, not about himself. His mind was centered on the safety and well being of the one he loved.

No one had ever felt that way for Shego.

Now, she finally discovered why the villain walked away after leaving a victim in some elaborate trap of doom.

Cowardice.

They didn't have the courage to look their victims in the face. They were too afraid they would see what Shego was seeing now; an image that would haunt her the rest of her life.

As the water level surged upward, she saw a single, solitary tear escape his eye, and run down his cheek.

Then the water rose and engulfed him completely.


Kim

He hadn't intended to take a deep breath before the water rose above him, but due to some survivor's reflex, he couldn't help it. Sounds became muffled, and his vision blurred.

I've abandoned you.

Slowly his held breath escaped him. He tried not to breath in again, but once again, survivors reflex took over. Water flooded into his lungs. He struggled vainly against the chains. Everything began to turn gray.

Kim.

His struggling eased, and then ceased altogether.

I'm so sorry.

Ronin – Ron Stoppable – knew no more.


At that moment, on the other side of Middleton, in an upstairs bedroom, the Kimunicator beeped.