Luke was all packed as he boarded the space ship. Tatooine was deserted enough to put his dastardly deeds into action. But what of the wookie? With Chewie there, Luke might not be able to end the life of his rival easily. He would have to make it look like an accident. They boarded the ship and it set off. It was a two day flight to Tatooine. Maybe he would be able to think of new dastardly deeds on the way to the desert planet.
Finally the trio arrived at Tatooine! They had been getting along good and Luke had been acting as innocent as possible. They had decided to camp instead of renting a place to stay.
"I used to live in Tatooine! I know the best place to camp."
L. Skywalker led them to a very deserted part of the planet. Few passer byers lived there. The hills were filled with sand people called Tusken Raiders. It was getting late and dark so there was no time to sightsee for that day. The men decided to set up camp.
"So who packed the tents?" asked Luke.
"I thought," said Han, "Why pack tents? We can sleep under the stars!"
"But...but...but the ground! It's hard and dirty!"
"Thanks for worrying about us, Luke-Boy, but I'm fine sleeping on the ground. Leia made me this super soft travel mattress to sleep on! She's such a doll. I was going to ask her to make one for you but you're a Jedi and all and you're as tough as sticks! Right? Right." Han exclaimed laying down a very soft travel mattress on the hard Tatooine ground and pulling the Bimm stuffed covers up to his face. His head lay on a large pillow. "Leia made it all for me 'cause she knows I travel a lot."
"Well, what about Chewie? He doesn't have anything to sleep on. Maybe you should give him your nice bedding so he won't get mad." said Luke smugly.
"No worries there! Leia sewed Chewie some nice stuff too!" Chewbacca was setting up a bed just like Han's. Luke stared in disbelief.
"You are saying she made Chewie soft travel bedding but not me? SHE MADE CHEWIE STUFF BUT NOT ME? NOT LUKE, WHO'S STUCK BY HER SIDE THROUGH THICK AND THIN! NOT LUKE WHO RESCUED HER FROM DARTH VADER! NOT LUKE WHO SAVED THE UNIVERSE SINGLE HANDIDLY AND CONVERTED ONE OF THE DEADLIST AND EVILST PEOPLE EVER BACK TO THE GOOD SIDE? WHY NOT MEEEEEE!" His voice echoed through the lonely desert.
"Night-night, Luke."
"Roar-gruff."
Luke looked at his sleepy comrades. He nestled down, laying his head on a rock and hugged himself to keep warm. Rocks dug into his sides and no matter where he tossed or turned, he was uncomfortable. It was a long night for Luke Skywalker.
"Rise and shine, friends!" Han Solo said, stretching and yawning as he got up from his extremely comfortable bed. "What's that good smell?" he said walking over to his chum the Wookie. Chewbawk was already cooking a delicious and hardy breakfast! "Come on, Luke! Up and at 'em!" Han said, shaking the Jedi. Luke had finally gotten to sleep about five minutes ago. He had been kept up all night by the hardness of the ground, the odd sounds and sights, and the large snoring coming from the hairy beast who was now slopping some sort of disgusting stew onto a plate.
"Noo...sleep good..."
"LUKE! Get up!" Han yelled and grabbed the slop and spooned it into Luke's mouth.
"GAAAAAAAK!" Luke jumped from the hard ground. "What is that loathsome concoction? Are you trying to poison me with that horrible feces?" Luke's face was met with a powerful fist.
"Tsk tsk. Shouldn't have insulted your breakfast...when it's cooked by a wookie."
After Luke Skywalker had bandaged his cheek he decided to put PLAN A into action. PLAN A involved the seeing of some high heights.
"I have an idea! Let's see the TATOOINE CLIFFS! They're world famous." Chewbawk growled at this comment.
"Chewie says he's never heard of these Tatooine cliffs you rave about." Han said matter a factly.
"I'm sure he's never heard of the Tatooine cliffs. But you would have to have lived in a cave if you've never heard of the TATOOINE CLIFFS!" Luke insisted. He led the others for a very long time in a straight line until they could no longer see they're camp along the flat desert.
"How much longer? Chewie and I are getting hungry, tired, and thirsty."
"Not much longer, my impatient smuggler. Just keep walking."
Eventually they stumbled upon a very deep decrease. Why, it was a magnificent canyon at least 85 stories down!
"Watch your step! We don't want anyone to fall!" Said Han quickly stepping away from the edge of the cliff.
"No, that would be a shame." Luke said quietly. "Quite a shame."
They trio stood for a moment, not that close to the edge of one of the great TATOOINE CLIFFS just staring and looking hard down to the rocky cavern below. Luke grew impatient.
"While you wussies stay here I'm going to go real close up and enjoy an actual view! You'll never really be able to experience this great historic monument if you're not right up close with the action." Luke taunted and went right up to the edge. He stumbled a bit as a few loose rocks below his feet gave way and he looked down below to the abyss which could soon be someone's rocky deathbed.
Han Solo (being the big, arrogant what-not as he is) simply could not stand being showed up by a pesky little twerp. Even though he thought these "TATOOINE CLIFFS" were no different than any cliff he'd ever seen before (except they were always said with much expression and emotion), he didn't want to tell Leia when he got back that he had not "really" experienced the sights of Tatooine. He bravely went and stood beside his Jedi pal. Chewbacca stayed back, signaling his annoyance with an angry growl. Luke stood behind Han, whose feet were touching the edge of the cliff, and Han was looking down below. This was Luke's opportune moment...and he had to act fast.
Luke gave Han the smallest of nudges, and that was enough to send Solo Han into a spiraling, twisting, stumbling, screaming, mess. Han yelled as he was pushed forward and his eyes looked far, far below to the fall he was soon to experience. Not knowing what to do as he stumbled on the brink of the cavern he reached behind himself for something to grab. He wasn't sure what it was but as he grabbed it to steady himself, he flung his object forward and step back on tera-firma...safe.
"Phew! That was a close one, right Luke? Luke? LUKE!" Han gasped as he saw his friend fall down and down and down the cliff. Han and flung Luke into the cavern! This is not what Luke had expected to happen. It was a very deep hole and Luke's cries which at first had been heard so loudly grew steadily quieter.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Until they were heard no longer. Secondly a large plopping sound was heard as Luke's body turned into a tiny dot.
"LUKE! LUKE! Luke? Luke, are you okay? Luke?" Han's voice echoed until it turned into a sobbing whisper. His fourth best buddy had just flung himself off a cliff! Sometimes that Luke could be just so stupid! "Chewie, we need to go down there and see if he's okay!"
Human and Wookie searched for a path leading down the sharp decline. They searched for an hour or two until they found a small path leading down the cavern as if leading down to the very steps of Hell itself. This path was used for Jawas. They would travel down it once a year to collect things from the unfortunate dead souls who fell down. Many could have things of worth that could be used to sell. Jawas are pretty small so they have pretty small paths. Much to small for a big man and an even bigger Wookie. But despite the small cramped environment, Han and Chewie kept pressing on. Hours went by as they stumbled down the long winding deathly tiny path. The day had turned to dusk by the time they reached the bottom of the canyon.
"Luke! Luke! Can you hear me Luke? Chewie, help me look for him!" Han yelled a desperate look in his eye. Chewie growled in response. "Chewie...don't say that. Don't say he's dead...Chew--- LUKE!" Han ran as fast as he could towards the crumpled body. Blood lay all around in a dry puddle. His body looked out of whack.
Han looked in disgust and pain. His friend's head was covered in a crust of blood and his arm looked like it was in a painful position. Han grimaced at the sight. There was no way anyone, even a Jedi, could survive a fall like that. Han fell to his knees and scooped Luke's beaten body into his lap.
"Noooooooooooooo," Han moaned.
"RUFF HAFF HAFF!" Chewie let out a mungo wookie laugh, (he never really did like Lukeums.)
"H--haan?"
"Did you hear that, Chewie? Luke said something! Speak to me, Luke! Speak to me!" Han violently shook The Skywalker of Luke.
"O...www. S-stop s-h-hakin'...my 'ead 'urts."
"Ha ha! Do you hear that, Chewie? He lives! HE LIVES! Oh, I'd knew you'd be alright! I'm so happy!"
"We're ya...genuinely worried about me, Han? Old buddy?"
"Nah, I wasn't really worried about you. Just Chewie and I made a large bet if you'd live or not! I'd knew you'd survive! But it's a big loss for Chewbacca. He loses a lot (HEAR THAT, CHEWIE? A LOT!) of money. And you live."
"Hey, hey now! Why is my living a big loss? Why isn't that a huge reward?" Luke said, sitting up.
"Well, let's face it, little buddy. He doesn't really like ya, I don't really like ya. Now, get up and let's get a move on! It's already twilight."
And Han was right, it was twilight. With the support of his "friends" the beaten and battered Luke, trudged up the Jawa path and through the desert until they found their campsite where Luke was heavily bandaged. He was so tired, Luke fell asleep on the hard floor without even thinking.
