The almost five-hour drive to Santa Fe was calming for Sam's nerves. However, the miles and miles of nothingness could not quite clear her mind.

Her decision to take three weeks of leave had come easily. After getting shot with the staff weapon and seeing Jack so close with another woman, she wanted, no make that needed time away from the mountain, from Colorado Springs, from him.

Arriving at Bishop's Lodge, a spa/resort located in a private valley in the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo mountains, on the outskirts of New Mexico's capital city, Sam checked in and headed for her room. As soon as she spotted the large Roman bath tub, Sam started the water running. She stripped off her clothes, easing her aching body into the warm water.

Sam tried to keep her mind off of her situation but it kept creeping into her semi-conscious mind. She didn't blame him for being with another woman. She certainly hadn't made it obvious how much he meant to her. Perhaps this is just what she deserved. After all, she had known for years that she loved him, yet she had done nothing. Their mission at the SGC had been too important. Jeopardizing that for a relationship seemed rather short-sighted. She was Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter of the United States Air Force. She didn't do short-sighted. She analyzed things from every possible angle and saw the long-term effects. No good could come from her making some sort of romantic declaration to her commanding officer.

Several years had passed since she first met Jack O'Neill. Kerry Johnson had only known him a few days before she made her move. Sam envied the other woman. She would give anything to have one night in his arms without consequences. One night where he would wrap his arms around her and make her feel protected and cherished. In her mind, she could smell him, the scent that was uniquely male and Jack O'Neill. Sam could feel his arms wound loosely around her waist, drawing her near to his firm body. His voice whispering "I love you Samantha Carter," softly in her ear.

She closed her eyes and sighed. She needed to do something, but taking chances in her personal life was unfamiliar to her. Attempting to do what she dreamed of could be disastrous, or it could be the best thing she'd ever done for herself.

X X X

"Sam didn't tell you where she was going?" Daniel asked anxiously.

"No Daniel.. Carter is a big girl. If she wants to take off for parts unknown, then that's her business," Jack said. "All she told me is that she was going to leave town for a little bit. It's only been a week. Take deep breath. It's gonna be OK." He turned around and pretended to straighten up some paperwork, hoping to keep the archaeologist from seeing what was written all over his face.

Despite his nonchalant words, Jack was unnerved. Carter hadn't been herself since she had gotten shot. She barely even met his eyes when she requested the time off. He had wanted to take her in his arms, like he had every time before when she had that hurt look about her. Only this time, he could tell that she didn't want him anywhere near her. And Sam never took a vacation. Something was defnitely wrong.

He had a niggling suspicion that it had to do with Carter and Kerry being imprisoned together. Kerry had assured him that they just chatted a little bit and got down to the business of escaping. Nothing else. He wasn't so sure that that was all.

Jack hoped that she was really as alright as he had told Daniel she was. If he didn't hear from her in the next week, he was going to use the full resources of the U.S. government to find her. Carter was too important to lose.

X X X

Sam stood before the mailbox, unsure of what she was about to do. Sheets of paper shouldn't have this kind of power, particularly not the kind that could change lives. She was tempted to rip her letter up and leave things the way they had always been. Unresolved sexual tension and angst broken up by moments of joy.

She knew in her head that it was wrong to admit feelings to a man who was her superior officer and who had a girlfriend. Her heart just wasn't willing to listen to that logic any longer.

In the end, Samantha Carter did what she had to do, like always. Only this time she was doing it for herself.

X X X

Dear Jack,

Before you get worried, I'm not writing you because of an emergency.

With that said, I'd really like it if you would meet me here in Santa Fe.

It concerns my future at the SGC.

Sam

Jack could hardly believe his eyes. First of all, his 2IC addressed him as Jack instead of by his rank. And secondly she wanted him to leave the SGC, drive to another state and discuss her future. What in the hell was going on?

Jack impatiently threw the note on his kitchen table. Running his fingers through his hair, he picked up the other item Sam had included with her note. The brochure included detailed instructions to a fancy, schmancy resort. It wasn't the type of place he would ever consider visiting on his own since he preferred the isolated peace of his Minnesota cabin to anywhere else in the universe. For Carter though, he would go pretty much anywhere.

"Is anybody home?" Kerry poked her head around the corner. She was the last person he wanted to see right now, despite their having had plans for the evening. He had gotten so caught up with Carter's note and its possible implications that he had blocked out everything else.

"Yeah, but I haven't even showered yet. Give me a couple minutes and I'll be fresh as a daisy," he said, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek before leaving the room.

Kerry went to the refrigerator and got herself a bottle of water and sat down at the table. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small note, teetering on the edge. She reached out and place it on top of the rest of mail. Glancing down at it, she saw Sam's name. Being a CIA agent, curiosity outweighed her guilt and she read on.

When Jack got out of the shower a few minutes later, he was facing an angry brunette.

"Jack, think we need to have a little conversation about you and Colonel Carter."

TO BE CONTINUED...