A/N: Thanks for the great reviews. I really appreciate all of them, more than you know. This story was intended to be a little bit longer, but I'm having a hard time dragging it out. One more chapter, and it'll be finished. Hopefully I'll get it posted in the next couple of days. Thanks again for the great reviews.
The air was filled with laughter and the overbearing smells of grilled food and cigarette smoke. Parents lounged in chairs and around card tables while children chased each other around the yard, and Marissa watched it all with an intense sense of longing. She had only been to one other Chino party, Theresa and Eddie's engagement soiree, and it had been just as "family friendly." Only more so, she thought, because Ryan had wanted to be there with her. Or he had wanted to drag her away to the safety of home.
Now he was standing near the fence, smoking with some guys whose names she couldn't remember, and reminiscing about his life in the old neighborhood. Something was seriously wrong with him, had been since he stepped over the threshold of this house, and she was dying to know what it was. She thought they didn't have secrets anymore, thought that their relationship was open and honest now, but Ryan was avoiding her like the plague, and her insecurities were mounting by the minute.
"Hey," Cassie's voice broke into her thoughts as she sat in the folding chair next to Marissa and offered her a beer. "I bet this isn't exactly your idea of a good time, huh?"
Marissa smiled politely, the way she had always been taught, and shrugged. "Throw in a pool and a clown with balloon animals, and it's not at all unlike my sixth birthday," she said.
Cassie nodded and let her eyes drift over the yard, resting on TJ and his group of friends, who were busying themselves with a game of "torment the little girls." She laughed as he gripped one little blonde's pigtails and yanked her to the ground. "Jesus, he's just like his father," she shook her head.
Marissa sipped from her beer and watched the kids, willing herself not to stare at her boyfriend. "So, Ryan tells me you and Trey were the "it" couple back in the day," she tried to think of anything to start a conversation with this complete stranger.
Cassie had done everything in her power to avoid the mention of Trey over the course of the afternoon, but as she lit another cigarette, she let a lazy smile take over her lips. "He was my whole world, Trey was. I would have done anything for him." She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "It's just hard when reality doesn't believe in the same forever you do, ya know?"
"But you guys are working things out now, right? I mean, Ryan said you were trying to put things back together?" Or had that just been a lie, too? More and more, over the course of the day, she was finding it harder to believe the things he told her about Chino. She had been second-guessing his recollections all afternoon.
"Right now, we're just focused on giving TJ two parents who love him and get along with each other. The rest? I don't know." She sat her beer bottle on the ground beside the chair and finally looked at Marissa. "I'm not exactly big on the trusting. I don't know what Ryan's told you, but Trey and I did just about everything you can do to ruin the trust." Her eyes clouded with what could only be described as grief. "If it weren't for TJ, I don't know if we'd have anything to say to each other anymore."
The words rattled around in Marissa's brain. If she was honest, the same thing had happened with her and Ryan. After Oliver, things had never really been the same. Sure, they'd gotten back together, but she never felt like it was as it had been before the trust was broken. Maybe that's what she was seeing today – Ryan with people he really trusted, people who had never turned their backs on him, never doubted his judgment. Maybe that's why he was so much more at ease with these people than he ever seemed with her.
"You know he loves you, right?" Cassie's words interrupted her thoughts once more. She smiled when Marissa looked at her, confused. "Ryan Atwood doesn't love lightly, and he loves you. All last summer, all he could talk about was getting back to you and that paradise you live in." She shook her head and leaned forward in her chair, her eyes resting on Ryan.
Last summer? Ryan had seen her last summer? But he had said that he hadn't seen Cassie or TJ in almost four years. "You saw him last summer?"
Cassie was still watching her young man at the fence, something unreadable in her expression. "He was living with Theresa, but things weren't so good. So, he crashed here for awhile?" she said as if trying to jog the girl's memor. But when she turned her head to see Marissa's look, realization hit her. "And he didn't tell you that, did he?" She shook her head numbly. "Look, I know that he belongs in Newport now. He knows it, too. That's his home now, with you and the Cohens. He loves all of you guys so much. You've done great things for him.
"But you gotta know that a part of him is always gonna belong here. To expect him to let go of this place is unfair, Marissa." Cassie's maternal tone was coming out now as she reached a hand over to the younger girl's arm. "Look, the guy you love? The one who's so protective and honorable and brilliant? He's only like that because he grew up here. He learned about saving damsels in distress because there were so many of us in his life. And he learned about valuing family because, as you can tell," she nodded around the yard, "it's all most of us have. He learned to work hard at school and be smart, because it was his only ticket out of this place someday."
Marissa didn't know what to say. She would never ask Ryan to give up his roots, never ask him to walk away completely. And a part of her couldn't help wondering where Cassie got the idea that she would. Her skin grew flushed as she thought about what they must have discussed last summer, after he had left Newport to help Theresa with her baby. "I want to know him, all of him," she defended. "But he doesn't let me in to that side. It's locked away, like some secret former life."
Cassie stood. "Ah, yes," she nodded. "That's the murkier, somewhat seedy side of the upbringing. The trust issues and the random acts of violence?" Marissa looked away and Cassie squeezed her shoulder. "Listen, Ryan's not so good with the sharing of the feelings, okay? Sometimes you gotta drag it out of him – and it might not be pretty and it might not be fun, but in the end? You'll have his respect, and that is a precious commodity."
Cassie ran her hands over her jeans and walked toward a group of little boys who were now moving into the "chasing girls with bugs" portion of the afternoon. Maybe she had been going at it all wrong, Marissa thought as she nursed her beer bottle and returned her attentive gaze to Ryan, who was laughing with the guys. She had been trying to give Ryan his space, to prove that she trusted him enough to keep his feelings to himself. Maybe Cassie was right – maybe she needed to force it out of him. She needed him to know that there was nothing he could tell her that would make her stop loving him.
She just hoped that it was true.
XXXXX
It was bordering on ridiculous now, the way Summer was obsessing over Seth and his little friend. She had followed him around like a sick puppy all day, watching the two of them point out their favorite spots and laugh over stupid memories from the way back. He loved her – she knew that. So why was she having such a hard time believing it?
He hadn't given her reason not to. Even while touring the campground, he held her hand when they walked, hugged her shoulders when they stopped, and kissed her temple when she said something funny. He wasn't acting weird or different, if she thought about it rationally.
But Summer wasn't in rational mode, and this Sara chick was sending out familiar vibes, ones that made Summer's stomach flip-flop. Half way through the "remember when we got stuck in the middle of the lake for the whole day" story, she realized exactly why she didn't like this girl. At all. It was Anna. Sara was Anna all over again. They had all the same interests, Seth's interests, and same way of making him laugh. They both shared this inside joke with him at the way Summer had no idea what they were talking about.
Sure, she had become friends with Anna over time, but she had never really gotten over the fact that her boyfriend and his "ex" had a bond that she would never share with him. Part of her had done the "happy dance of joy" when Anna headed back to Pittsburgh, the part that was now throwing a temper tantrum that the spirit of the ex-pixie was now embodied in someone else.
"Okay, we have a problem," Seth stated, standing from the stretch of dirt they were sharing as he checked his watch.
Finally, Summer thought as he helped her to her feet. "What's that?" she asked.
"Well," he turned and offered a hand to Sara. Taking Summer's hand in his, he turned in the direction of the pavilion. "It is six thirty, and they were serving dinner at five. I am now starving and there will be no tapioca pudding to fill my rumbling little stomach." He pouted in Summer's direction and she felt herself giving the first genuine smile of the day.
Running a thumb over his bottom lip, she shot him a look of mock sympathy. "We'll stop at the grocery store on the way home, and I will buy you an entire six-pack of pudding cups. How's that sound?"
"It won't be the same," Sara interjected as they rounded the backside of the pavilion and started toward the group that was gathering. A large screen had been erected at the back of the picnic area, and a slide projector was being loaded. "I hope they're gonna show the slides from the talent show. Remember, Seth, when we dressed you up like the bumble bee girl and I lip-synced to Blind Melon while you ran around and tried to tap dance?"
Seth laughed and then hung his head. "I thought we agreed never to speak of the Blind Melon incident again." Turning to Summer, he sighed. "I got my antennae ripped off that night, and my tap shoes mysteriously showed up in the lake the next day. It wasn't pretty."
For a split second, Summer felt for that Seth, the old one that kids like her used to, and still did, make fun of. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rested her forehead against his cheek. "I have some tap shoes at home. If you want, you can do the dance for me when we get back?" Sara laughed, a bitter kind of laugh that set Summer off. "What?"
Shaking her head, the other girl just held her hands up. "Nothing. It's a nice gesture, really," she scoffed. "Except it's not that bigga deal, Summer. I mean, it was a long time ago, for one thing. And Seth's not really scarred by that kinda thing, ya know? We're stronger people than they are, emotionally, and that's how we handle the bullies and the spoiled brats, like you and your friends."
"Hey, Sara, come on," Seth stated, his hand reaching out to touch her arm.
But Summer felt the anger enveloping her already. "You don't know what you're talking about, you stupid, angry, jealous bitch." She took a step forward and tried to make herself look taller. "You don't know shit one about me, or about Seth, for that matter."
"Summer, hey," Seth reached for her, but Summer stepped out of his grasp.
"I know I was the one cheering him up while just the thought of you made him cry. I know that this thing, whatever you have, isn't gonna last. When you're not so cute anymore, Summer, he's not gonna stick around." Sara took another step closer to her opponent, ignoring Seth's pleas for them to stop making a scene. "There's no substance here," she said, tapping Summer's shoulder for affect.
A crowd had started gathering, watching the two girls argue over the most unlikely of all campers. They stared in wonder as Summer's shoulder gave under the pressure of Sara's "tap." "Are they gonna fight?" someone behind Seth asked.
He looked over his shoulder and shook his head. "No, they're not. Summer's not really what you'd call a fighter," he answered.
"Touch me again and I will show you the depth of my substance," Summer growled. "I have watched you ogle, and flirt, and drool over my boyfriend all day. I have listened to you insult my intelligence and my style and my personality, and I have stayed pretty calm. But I'm tired of being calm. And I'm tired of being nice. And I'm tired of looking at your face. So, if you have something to say to me, why don't you just get it out there."
"Fine," Sara responded. "Here's the thing, Summer. Bottom line? Seth's the coolest guy I know. And he has been, since we were nine. And the thought of some mindless, shallow, Britney wannabe sinking into his individuality makes me livid. The fact that, soon, some water polo playin' jack ass with a nice car and insipid interests in hip hop and The Valley is going to swoop in and steal your attention makes me want vomit on those incredibly over-priced shoes you're sporting. You don't love him, Summer. You love having yet another groupie. . ."
She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence before Summer threw a right hook that connected with Sara's jaw and sent her flying three feet backwards. Stalking over, Summer stood with a foot on either side of the girl, who was now writhing in pain. "You're right," she shrugged. "I am shallow and I have a short attention span. And now I'm bored with you." Turning, she looked at Seth and nodded over her shoulder. "I'm going to the car."
She stalked off, feeling good for the first time since they had arrived. Maybe Chino had it right, she thought. Solving your problems with a good crack to the jaw was way more fun than a clever quip any day.
