Harry Potter stood in the doorway, savoring the reactions of the faculty and alumni of Hogwarts. He strode confidently into the room, before he noticed a presence. Focusing a little bit of magic into the Steel Tiara, a black glass-like metal slid down over his eyes. He looked at the sorting hat, and HUD of his visor identified it as a minor spirit trapped in a enchanted magical cage in the form of a hat.

Harry smirked and walked up to the hat and said "Hello."

Everyone goggled at this. They were even more dumbfounded when the hat replied "A slayer! Oh…We haven't had one of your kind here for... well a few decades. Can you release me?"

Harry was startled "Release you? Aren't you under a contract?"

The hat replied "I was…but…" at this he started whispering to the boy, who was right next to the hat. Harry started to look enraged, but calmed himself down.

He stepped back from the hat, then asked "What is your name."

The hat smirked, then said "Alistair"

Harry brought his palms together in a praying position, then chanted "Alistair, I unbind thee, conjure thee, summon thee." He repeated twice more, and then crossed his arms at his chest and bowed towards the hat.

A humanoid mist came out of the Hat, before solidifying into the form of a tall, ageless man, with spiky white hair down to his waist. He had a red stripe on his high right cheek, a green one on his high left cheek, a yellow one on his low right cheek, and a blue one on his low left cheek. He also had a smirk on.

At this point everyone in the great hall had fainted, swooned, or had their jaw dropped. Dumbledore was one of the third class, the more experienced wizards were of the second, and the girls…well you can guess.

Alistair bowed back to Harry. "Thank you for releasing me, Dark Angel."

Harry chuckled nervously. "Holy crap…that cage was a limiter as well, wasn't it."

Alistair snorted "You think they would use a mere mid-level spirit? No, they needed the best, and a elementalist was a perfect choice."

The "man" walked up to Dumbledore, and stared at him. "This….this is for keeping me trapped for so long past my contract." He punched the octogenarian headmaster in the nose.

Hagrid stood up angrily. "NOW SEE HERE! I don't know WHO you are…but no one is allowed to treat the headmaster like that!" He rushed at the spirit, and Dumbledore, still recovering, tried to raise a hand to stop him, but it went unnoticed. As soon as Hagrid got within a meter of Alistair, he was blasted back by what looked like a shimmering shield of air and lightning.

After Alistair had punched Albus, Harry had fallen to the ground laughing up a storm. With his eyes full of tears from the immense laughing attack he had just had, he looked up at Alistair and said "So what House am I in?"

Alistair snorted "Don't you think I did enough sorting in the 1050 years I was here?". Harry chuckled, as did the elementalist, and soon they both had a full case of laughter once more.

"Seriously though. Where do I sleep, eat, snog, etc?"

The spirit snorted again at the third item on the list, but quickly sobered up. "You're a teacher….remember? You get your own quarters, but I'm staying here with you."

(A/N Do I really need to go all that much into detail about everyone's reactions anymore?)

Harry looked confused for a moment then said "So you're the…?"

Alistair nodded. Then he snapped his fingers, and a glowing yellow cloudy ball appeared in front of him. He breathed out, and the spirit bobbed, before heading out in the castle.

"Finding our rooms?"

"Yes."

"Ah."

Alistair strode up to Dumbledore, who had finally recovered. All the teachers except Flitwick started to move towards their leader protectively. However the spirit stopped, and stated, "As Harry's new secondary guardian, you and I WILL be having a talk in the morning. We do not expect to be disturbed."

That being said, enigma and spirit strode out of the hall, one with his motorcycle and cross, the other with the object that had imprisoned him for so many years.

Harry snorted. "God was that funny."

The spirit chuckled "I know! Did you see the looks on the teachers faces when I punched that manipulative old man?" They both started laughing, before Harry got a more serious look on his face. "As much as I would like to continue discussing the merits of the young and old, how the hell are two…well not people…beings going to sleep in one bed. Because I don't know about you, but I am most definitely NOT gay."

The ancient spirit laughed heartily "I'll just let my essence drift at night. Spirits don't need to sleep, you know."

"Okay. Hey… you're true essence is hidden from my visor. What and who are you?"

"My name is Alistair. I was created 10 thousand years ago by who you call Mother Nature, as a minor servant. In todays spirit terms, I am a level 3 elemental master."

Harry gaped "Level 3? That means that you are only ruled by…"

"Yes. Level 2 Elemental Lords and Level 1 Elemental forces, otherwise known as forces of nature."

The younger man smirked, before collapsing onto the bed. His room was medium sized, painted in blacks and reds.

"This was an interesting day, Alistair."

"Aye, Harry, it was."

Harry thought for a moment. "Will you help me out with the class?"

"Sure? I mean, it helps to have one in your class, doesn't it?"

"It certainly does."

With that, spirit and boy, old and young, drifted off to sleep (or what passed for it), preparing for the day ahead.

OMAKE:

A humanoid shape appeared of the hat, and solidified into… a voluptuous young teen wearing a sailor fuku? She ran at Harry and jumped into his arms, wiggling in just the right places.

Harry croaked "Well this certainly isn't what I expected"

End of Chapter 2 of Deus Ex Machina