Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. I do own most of the stuff you don't recognize tho.
The vampire stared at Harry hungrily, almost panting in anticipation of the taste of fresh blood. Instead of showing signs of fear, he looked quite impassive, something the undead creature was not quite used to. Finally angered, it charged at the young man. He calmly sidestepped, and planted a foot in the vile creature's back for effect, before whipping out an extremely large handgun. It was a modified .44 caliber handgun that had a barrel about 18 inches long. He placed in the center of the undead creature's forehead and smirked "Go to hell, asshole." He pulled the trigger and the ironwood bullet punched through the creature's head, causing it to fall over backward and burst into flame, all appearances of ethereal beauty gone as its inner horror shone through the previous illusion. Harry busted out a video camera, set it up at a proper height, and sliced the vampire's head off. He looked at the camera, and growled "Mission Accomplished."
Fap. Harry, feeling a strike connect to his head out of nowhere, growled. He turned around and looked for the moron who had tried to screw with him, but was unable to. Fap, fap. He frantically tried to find the assailant, but to no avail.
"WAKE THE HELL UP YOU IDIOT"
Harry sat straight up in bed, awakened from his dream. Alistair was standing next to him with his mouth near his ear.
"Jeez….what did you do that for? I was having a good dream!"
"What's a good dream for you?"
"I had just decapitated a vampire, then placed it on a wooden stake and took a short digital video of it."
The spirit broke out laughing and walked away, as Harry stumbled out of bed, grumbling. He washed up and dressed, before heading out to the Great Hall.
He quickly strode to the great hall. He walked to the center of the room, and pulled out a large amount of senbon (1). He then span in a circle very fast and let them go. Everyone gasped as the extremely sharp tipped needles dug into the wood in front of certain students.
"Potter, what is the meaning of this?" McGonagall demanded. Harry ignored her. He walked up to the front of the hall, and turned around.
"Those who received my…gift need to read the paper (2) wrapped around it and follow the instructions written there. You may refuse…but I highly discourage it."
Harry sneered at the room, and then quickly strode out once more.
There was chatter in the hall behind him, as students quickly unraveled the paper wrapped around the needles, and read them.
Harry walked down to the kitchens to grab some food. He knew the passwords of the castle, courtesy of resident ex-sorting hat. After introducing himself and giving the name of his predecessor, he was given all the food he want. Satiated, and munching on a roll, he walked up to the first class he was taking that day, Defense with Gryffindors and Slytherins.
The teacher was a foul woman he had not seen the previous night, and had ignored her protests that morning.
"Well, look who we have here! Welcome to my class, Mister Potter."
The boy sat down, ignoring the foul woman.
"Now Mister Potter, we can't have you not paying attention…" She walked up to him and put her hands on her hips. He responded with a vulgar suggestion not anatomically possible.
She gasped, then scowled venomously. "Mister Potter, I will not accept language like that in my class! 30 points from…"
Harry smirked at her victoriously "From where? I'm autonomous."
"I'm sure the ministry could sort you into a new house…Hufflepuff perhaps."
"If your damned ministry tries anything, I'll be outa the country so fast that you can't even say Incarcerous!"
Now, the whole class was looking at this exchange with wide eyes and open mouths. However, they next saw something that shocked them even more.
Umbridge pointed her wand at Harry, and quickly shouted "Silencio! Incarcerous!"
Harry reached into his belt and pulled out a dagger, and then sliced the spells in half, before balancing the tip of it on his finger.
"Listen lady…I don't really care who you are or what you think you can do. I'm only here because my previous guardian thought that I was trained enough to let 3 years go by without more intense training. I don't even WANT to be here. In 3 years….you Brits are never going to see me again!"
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, then decided that to ignore a problem was the best way to deal with it. She snapped "Detention at 8 with my tonight Potter" then proceeded to teach her incredibly dull class…Harry used it to catch some shut eye.
Awakened an hour later by the sound of everyone standing up, he wiped the drool off his face and left the room, but not before flipping the repugnant…female the bird.
Harry laughed at her and stalked off, ignoring her infuriated face.
Short—I know. Sorry about the wait, but finals are happening and…well…it's crappy!
So…reviews.
Chapter 1 Reviews
YinMiltato: Hopefully they won't notice it. Lol my first reviewer was warning me of a ban!
Loverofthedarkness: Thanks…I hope this chapter and the second met your expectations.
Sarah R. Potter: Thanks
Yami no Kaze: Yeah…the Dumbledore thing WAS funny. And for your other questions…well… wait and see.
Bandgsecurtiyaw: Thanks
Chapter 2 Reviews
Sarah R. Potter: Here's the next update…hope you like it.
Bandgsecurtiyaw: Thanks
A/N: Hmm…I thought the whole "spirit inside a sorting hat" thing would cause more controversy. Well, the reason I did it is….I've never seen the sorting hat as a major character. Hoped you liked the chappie! Wow…7 reviews for 2 chapters…I'm flattered.
