pt.12
(CIA room where Hissan is being held)
Jack: Hello Hissan.
Hissan: I want my family!
Jack: You have to tell us where your missiles are first! (sits down and something falls out of his pocket)
Hissan: What's that?
Jack: (picks it up) It's a picture of my daughter.
Hissan: She's worth about three viagra.
Jack: What?
Hissan: Oh, come on. Don't tell me you never use it.
Jack: Well, yeah. Sydney has a friend that I would pop about 5 viagra for!
Hissan: Oh, and what about that Jennifer Love Hewitt! She's worth about a whole bottle. (snickers)
Jack: (snickers)

(night time-Sydney arrives at Will's house. YMCA by the Village People is playing loudly.)
Sydney: (knocks on the door)
Will: (opens the door) Hey Syd!
Sydney: Hi. I hope it's not a bad time but..
Marshall: (appears in the background) Will, the creme brulee is cooling.
Sydney: Marshall!?!
Marshall: Sydney!?!
Will: Sydney, this is my new friend, Marshall!
Sydney: I better go. (turns around and starts walking)
Will: No wait! We were just gonna do facials! You could use one!

(CIA room where Hissan is being kept)
Hissan: (finishing his food)
Vaughn: They said that if you don't tell us where your weapons are that they'll send you to an all-male prison.
Hissan: Is that your way of telling me I'd be someone's b*tch?
Vaughn: Why would you be someone's dog?
Hissan: No, not a dog! You would send me to prison with a bunch of guys and they would have their way with me?
Vaughn:(blank look on his face)
Hissan: They would scr*w me!
Vaughn: Sick dude! What are you, gay!?!
Hissan: No!
Vaughn: Then why were you talking about going to prison and getting laid by a bunch of dudes!?!
Hissan: Because...just forget it. I give up. (pushes his plate away)
Vaughn:(pulls out something) Would you like an after-dinner mint?
Hissan: No!
Vaughn: Are you sure? Hamburgers can leave a bad after taste in your mouth.
Hissan: My weapons are located at Crete.
Vaughn: That's cool. Is it on a beach?
Hissan: Yeah.
Vaughn: So you just lie around the beach all day? Oh, are there any girls in bikinis!?! Oh, sorry. I forgot, you prefer guys.

pt.13
(SD-6 building)
Jack: The weapons are located in Crete?
Sydney: Yes, and you have to convince Sloane to let me go on the mission.
Jack: Maybe he'll let me go on the mission. I'm still the same buff agent I was 30 years ago. (heads into Sloane's office)
Sloane: (excercising to sweating to the oldies) Yo!
Jack: Um..I've just been informed by some allies that Hissan's weapons are located in Crete.
Sloane: (still excercising) I can really feel the burn in my butt. Look at my butt. Doesn't it look tighter?
Jack: I..don't...know. Look, I think it would be a good idea to send Sydney on the mission.
Sloane: What mission?
Jack: To get the weapons in Crete.
Sloane: What weapons?
Jack: In Crete.
Sloane: Richard Simmons is so masculine.

(night time-Will is at his car-a message is written on his window)
Will: (reading his window) Look in the glove box. I knew I had a secret admirer! (opens glove box) Oh la la! A tape! (puts it in and listens to it) This song is horrible. (starts nodding his head) It's not too bad. (hears gun shots on tape) What the f*ck! (speeds off)

(CIA room-with all the cameras-watching Sydney who is in Crete)
Vaughn: Ok, your clear. Head into the building.
Wiess: I think it would be better if you focused the camera on the whole estate rather than Sydney's butt!
Vaughn:(zooms camera out) Sorry.
Sydney: I found the keypad. What's the code?
Vaughn: Dude! What's the code?
Hissan: Um...793B2S5
Vaughn: 7..9......
Hissan: 3B2S5
Vaughn: 3B2S5
Sydney: It's a number pad. It doesn't have any letters on it!
Vaughn: Um.....
Wiess: What's the real code?
Hissan: Um..(thinking) 6969
Vaughn: (starts laughing)
Wiess: The real code!
Hissan: Fine! 3596
Vaughn: 3596.
Sydney: (punches it in) Got it. (doors open-lots of boxes inside) Where is it?
Vaughn: Where's what?
Sydney: The weapons!
Vaughn: I don't know. Your the one in the building.
Weiss: (rolls his eyes) Hissan, where are the weapons?
Hissan: In a black shipping box.
Vaughn: In a black shipping box Sydney.
Sydney: (searching) Found them! Vaughn, the door is starting to close! I think this is a set up! I'm getting wet!
Vaughn: My voice makes you wet!
Weiss: What's going on?
Hissan: The room will fill up with gasoline and then a fire will be ignited. I will give you the real code if you have your superior sign a paper that states my family will be brought over safely.
Vaughn: (pulls out his water gun) Don't make me spray you!
Hissan: Go ahead!
Vaughn: (stares at him and then runs out of the room) (starts running up stairs but runs out of breath so he takes the elevator.)

pt. 14
(Vaughn-bursts into Devlin's room)
Devlin: What on earth do you think your doing!?!
Vaughn: We need you in the camera room!
Devlin: Why? This isn't like the time you told me to rush to the lobby to show me that the vending machine wasn't working, is it!?!
Vaughn: Actually, they never fixed those...
Devlin: Get to the point!
Vaughn: Um....(thinking)...Um...You made me forget! Sydney! It has something to do with Sydney!
(Devlin and Vaughn burst into camera room)
Devlin: (starts to sign) My pen is out of ink!
Vaughn: (starts feeling his jacket-pulls out candy wrappers and a yo-yo)
Weiss: Here! (hands him a new pen)
Devlin: (signs it) Here you go!
Hissan: (looks at it) You've got pretty nice handwriting for a guy.
Weiss: What's the code!?!
Hissan: 5390
Weiss: (looks at Vaughn)
Vaughn: What? Oh, right. (puts on head set) The code is..
Hissan: 5390
Vaughn: 5390
Sydney: (punches it in) Okay. The door is opening.


(newspaper office)
Will:(sits down at his desk)
Woman: Didn't you get fired last week?
Will: Yeah, so?

(SD-6 conference room)
Sloane: Sydney your new mission is...(interupted by beeping coming from computer) Ooh, I've got mail. (sits down and reads it)
Sydney: What is my new mission?
Sloane: (starts laughing while reading email) Those jokes crack me up. Anyways, your new mission Sydney is...
Jack: (asleep) Yeah baby. You know I like it like that.
Sloane: Wake up!
Jack: (jerks) I'm up.
Sloane: There's a guy somewhere, has some info, we need him, yada yada yada, you know the rest. (gets back onto his computer) Damn it! The Dawson's Creek chatroom is full!
pt.12
(CIA room where Hissan is being held)
Jack: Hello Hissan.
Hissan: I want my family!
Jack: You have to tell us where your missiles are first! (sits down and something falls out of his pocket)
Hissan: What's that?
Jack: (picks it up) It's a picture of my daughter.
Hissan: She's worth about three viagra.
Jack: What?
Hissan: Oh, come on. Don't tell me you never use it.
Jack: Well, yeah. Sydney has a friend that I would pop about 5 viagra for!
Hissan: Oh, and what about that Jennifer Love Hewitt! She's worth about a whole bottle. (snickers)
Jack: (snickers)

(night time-Sydney arrives at Will's house. YMCA by the Village People is playing loudly.)
Sydney: (knocks on the door)
Will: (opens the door) Hey Syd!
Sydney: Hi. I hope it's not a bad time but..
Marshall: (appears in the background) Will, the creme brulee is cooling.
Sydney: Marshall!?!
Marshall: Sydney!?!
Will: Sydney, this is my new friend, Marshall!
Sydney: I better go. (turns around and starts walking)
Will: No wait! We were just gonna do facials! You could use one!

(CIA room where Hissan is being kept)
Hissan: (finishing his food)
Vaughn: They said that if you don't tell us where your weapons are that they'll send you to an all-male prison.
Hissan: Is that your way of telling me I'd be someone's b*tch?
Vaughn: Why would you be someone's dog?
Hissan: No, not a dog! You would send me to prison with a bunch of guys and they would have their way with me?
Vaughn:(blank look on his face)
Hissan: They would scr*w me!
Vaughn: Sick dude! What are you, gay!?!
Hissan: No!
Vaughn: Then why were you talking about going to prison and getting laid by a bunch of dudes!?!
Hissan: Because...just forget it. I give up. (pushes his plate away)
Vaughn:(pulls out something) Would you like an after-dinner mint?
Hissan: No!
Vaughn: Are you sure? Hamburgers can leave a bad after taste in your mouth.
Hissan: My weapons are located at Crete.
Vaughn: That's cool. Is it on a beach?
Hissan: Yeah.
Vaughn: So you just lie around the beach all day? Oh, are there any girls in bikinis!?! Oh, sorry. I forgot, you prefer guys.

pt.13
(SD-6 building)
Jack: The weapons are located in Crete?
Sydney: Yes, and you have to convince Sloane to let me go on the mission.
Jack: Maybe he'll let me go on the mission. I'm still the same buff agent I was 30 years ago. (heads into Sloane's office)
Sloane: (excercising to sweating to the oldies) Yo!
Jack: Um..I've just been informed by some allies that Hissan's weapons are located in Crete.
Sloane: (still excercising) I can really feel the burn in my butt. Look at my butt. Doesn't it look tighter?
Jack: I..don't...know. Look, I think it would be a good idea to send Sydney on the mission.
Sloane: What mission?
Jack: To get the weapons in Crete.
Sloane: What weapons?
Jack: In Crete.
Sloane: Richard Simmons is so masculine.

(night time-Will is at his car-a message is written on his window)
Will: (reading his window) Look in the glove box. I knew I had a secret admirer! (opens glove box) Oh la la! A tape! (puts it in and listens to it) This song is horrible. (starts nodding his head) It's not too bad. (hears gun shots on tape) What the f*ck! (speeds off)

(CIA room-with all the cameras-watching Sydney who is in Crete)
Vaughn: Ok, your clear. Head into the building.
Wiess: I think it would be better if you focused the camera on the whole estate rather than Sydney's butt!
Vaughn:(zooms camera out) Sorry.
Sydney: I found the keypad. What's the code?
Vaughn: Dude! What's the code?
Hissan: Um...793B2S5
Vaughn: 7..9......
Hissan: 3B2S5
Vaughn: 3B2S5
Sydney: It's a number pad. It doesn't have any letters on it!
Vaughn: Um.....
Wiess: What's the real code?
Hissan: Um..(thinking) 6969
Vaughn: (starts laughing)
Wiess: The real code!
Hissan: Fine! 3596
Vaughn: 3596.
Sydney: (punches it in) Got it. (doors open-lots of boxes inside) Where is it?
Vaughn: Where's what?
Sydney: The weapons!
Vaughn: I don't know. Your the one in the building.
Weiss: (rolls his eyes) Hissan, where are the weapons?
Hissan: In a black shipping box.
Vaughn: In a black shipping box Sydney.
Sydney: (searching) Found them! Vaughn, the door is starting to close! I think this is a set up! I'm getting wet!
Vaughn: My voice makes you wet!
Weiss: What's going on?
Hissan: The room will fill up with gasoline and then a fire will be ignited. I will give you the real code if you have your superior sign a paper that states my family will be brought over safely.
Vaughn: (pulls out his water gun) Don't make me spray you!
Hissan: Go ahead!
Vaughn: (stares at him and then runs out of the room) (starts running up stairs but runs out of breath so he takes the elevator.)

pt. 14
(Vaughn-bursts into Devlin's room)
Devlin: What on earth do you think your doing!?!
Vaughn: We need you in the camera room!
Devlin: Why? This isn't like the time you told me to rush to the lobby to show me that the vending machine wasn't working, is it!?!
Vaughn: Actually, they never fixed those...
Devlin: Get to the point!
Vaughn: Um....(thinking)...Um...You made me forget! Sydney! It has something to do with Sydney!
(Devlin and Vaughn burst into camera room)
Devlin: (starts to sign) My pen is out of ink!
Vaughn: (starts feeling his jacket-pulls out candy wrappers and a yo-yo)
Weiss: Here! (hands him a new pen)
Devlin: (signs it) Here you go!
Hissan: (looks at it) You've got pretty nice handwriting for a guy.
Weiss: What's the code!?!
Hissan: 5390
Weiss: (looks at Vaughn)
Vaughn: What? Oh, right. (puts on head set) The code is..
Hissan: 5390
Vaughn: 5390
Sydney: (punches it in) Okay. The door is opening.


(newspaper office)
Will:(sits down at his desk)
Woman: Didn't you get fired last week?
Will: Yeah, so?

(SD-6 conference room)
Sloane: Sydney your new mission is...(interupted by beeping coming from computer) Ooh, I've got mail. (sits down and reads it)
Sydney: What is my new mission?
Sloane: (starts laughing while reading email) Those jokes crack me up. Anyways, your new mission Sydney is...
Jack: (asleep) Yeah baby. You know I like it like that.
Sloane: Wake up!
Jack: (jerks) I'm up.
Sloane: There's a guy somewhere, has some info, we need him, yada yada yada, you know the rest. (gets back onto his computer) Damn it! The Dawson's Creek chatroom is full!