Seattle Ain't What it Used to Be

Disclaimer-Nothing that has to do with Dark Angel or Dark Angel books belongs to me. Only the parts of the story that I make up are mine.

Summary-Sequel to Reliving Manticore. After escaping, Max and the other transgenics find refuge in Seattle. More people from Max's past start showing up, the humans start finding out about transgenics, a heat experience changes Max and Alec's life and it doesn't help that White is back in the picture.

Pairings-Max/Alec and Syl/Krit. More people will be paired off as the story goes on.

A/N-The italics in this chapter are what's happening in Max's dream.

Chapter Five-Subconscious Messages

Logan stared at Alec, beyond confused, as he laid an unconscious Max down on his bed. "What's going on?" he asked. "What happened to her?"

"We don't know exactly..." Blake answered, then gave Logan a weird look. "Who are you?" Both Zack and Alec stifled their laughs, turning them into coughs. Logan stared at him, incredulous.

"What do you mean who am I? You're the one that came into my house. You guys should be the ones explaining yourselves," Logan retorted, pointing an accusing finger at the three males. "So what is going on?"

"Max fainted after throwing up. Your place was the closest," Alec explained simply as he brushed Max's hair away from her face. Logan's bewildered expression didn't falter.

"Max threw up? Why did Max throw up? Why didn't you just take her to a hospital?"

"Max threw up most likely from guilt, stress, anxiety, and very possibly... pregnancy," Zack replied, enjoying Logan's eyes bugging out of his head. "We didn't take her to a hospital because Max is a transgenic and a bunch of freaks like Ames White might have tabs there."

"Who...Ames...Pregnant?" Logan repeated, his face paling. Alec found himself smiling slightly.

"No. Ames isn't pregnant. Max might be. She went into heat yesterday." Logan stared at him again before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell over.

"Well...that was a hoot and a half..." Blake muttered as he dragged Logan out of the room and onto his couch.


'Wake up little sister...wake up...'

Max's eyes fluttered open. She looked to her left then right. But all she saw was white.

'Oh crap. I better not be dead...' she muttered as she slowly stood up, rubbing her head.

'Please...what would be the fun in that?' Max heard a familiar voice say. She whipped around.

'Brin? What are you doing here?' Brin smiled warmly.

'Little sister, haven't you learned anything?' Max just raised her eyebrows at her. Brin sighed, exasperated. 'This is a dream. You know that much, right?' Max glared at her.

'No shit sherlock. And to think, I thought I had been transferred to Never Never Known A Single Color Other Than White Land,' she snapped. Brin laughed.

'Glad you haven't changed, Maxie.'

'Can't say the same about you...' Max said pointedly. Brin's smile faltered.

'It's not my fault. The bastards needed another guinea pig. They forced me to...' she bit her lip and glanced away. 'You think I like doing this? You think I enjoy feeling a human being's life crushed by my hands?'

'More like shot by your hands,' Max muttered. Brin's eyes flared.

'Would it be better if I snapped their necks? Like you did to Ben?'

'You know shit about what happened between me and Ben,' Max growled through gritted teeth. Brin shook her head.

'I know it because you think about it. This is your subconscious, ya know.' Max turned away. 'Aww...don't be like that.' She suddenly appeared in front of her, arms crossed. 'I haven't even gotten to the good part yet.'

'Then get to it quick before I smash your face into a wall.' Brin laughed.

'What wall, little sis? You're surrounded by white air. Do the math.'

'Just get to the fucking point,' Max growled. Brin sighed.

'Fine. As you wish...' She snapped her fingers and the white air dispersed. Max closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she was in a forest clearing. An unsettling feeling coursed through her body, turning it cold.

'What the hell...' Max began, just as she saw Father Destry enter the clearing, followed closely by Ben. Ben easily knocked him down, putting his foot to his chest. 'No...' Max saw herself run into the clearing. Max turned to Brin and shoved her hard against a nearby tree as an eerily familiar conversation continued in the background. 'What the hell are you trying to do to me? What in God's name is worth showing me this?' Brin stared down at her with hard eyes.

'I am showing you what you need to see...' she replied. Max's vision became cloudy as they filled with tears.

'Why the hell do I need to see this?' she cried. 'I've seen the movie...and I hate the ending.' Brin's eyes softened.

'You need to know...'

'I need to know WHAT!' Max screamed. 'I already know what happens! I killed my...' She suddenly stopped talking and her eyes widened in shock as a loud crack rang out. She dropped Brin and turned around. She saw Ben laying across her other self's lap with his head at an odd angle. Her other self was sobbing so much she wondered how she didn't create her very own river. 'No...NO!' She ran over to Ben's dead body and tried to touch his shoulders. But she went right through and everything around her stopped moving. The leaves were no longer rustling, her other self's tears had frozen in midair, and the forest became deathly quiet. Max turned back around but Brin had disappeared.

'Frightening...isn't it?' another familiar voice said softly. Max's head snapped up to look into his eyes.

Alec, was her first reaction. But those weren't Alec's eyes. There was no warmth. Only cold, hard, ice.

'Ben...' Max reached out to touch his face, thankful that she was able to feel contact. He just stared at her, not smiling or even flinching. She began to sob and snatched her hand away as if it had caught fire. 'I'm so, so sorry. I never should have killed you...I should've carried you...something...anything! I'm so sorry!' Ben's face finally creased into a ghost of a smile.

'Maxie...' he said simply, softly caressing her cheek with his thumb. 'You have nothing to be ashamed of.'

'But I killed you...how can you forgive me for something like that? I should've tried harder...' Ben silenced her by placing his finger on her lips.

'There wasn't anything else you could do,' he replied. 'You saved me. Whether you want to believe it or not...I hurt too many people. I should've gone back to Manticore, but you loved me too much to let that happen. And I thank you for that. But you have to forgive yourself. It would've been worse for both of us if you hadn't done what you did.'

'But how can it be the right thing if you're not here with me?' Ben chuckled softly.

'Maxie...sweetie...I am here with you. I always will be. I just need for you to be happy. Promise me you will be?' Before Max could answer, she found herself back in the completely-white-room. She turned around and saw Brin looking straight back at her.

'What was the point of that little field trip?' Max asked through gritted teeth. Brin smiled warmly.

'To show you what must be done...if the situation worsens.' Max's eyes widened as she realized what Brin was saying.

'You want me to kill you?'

'If this situation worsens...yes, you must be capable of going through with it. The others wouldn't understand. Are you capable?' Max shook her head.

'No...no. I can't lose another...not after...not after Ben.' Brin gave her a look.

'That was the point of the whole 'field trip'. To make sure that you would be. You even spoke to Ben. You, yourself, heard what he said.'

'But you said this is my subconscious. Of course that's what I wanted him to say...That doesn't mean that's actually how he feels.' Brin smiled at her again.

'Ben is just as much a part of you as he was to himself. You were brother and sister. That is the type of bond that is not breakable.' Max swallowed. 'So, I ask again. Are you capable?' Max nodded slowly. Brin's smile widened. 'Good. Then...'

'Let me talk to Ben again,' Max suddenly demanded. Brin gave her a quizzical look.

'Why? You know what he feels. You have no need to speak...'

'I haven't seen him in over a year. Let. Me. Talk. To. Him.' Brin shook her head.

'You just did...'

'Let me talk to him!'

'No.' Max completely lost her temper.

'LET ME TALK TO...'

"BEN!" Max screamed as she shot up in bed. She gasped for air and angrily pushed her matted hair away from her face. She began to hyperventilate as she looked around her, not recognizing her surroundings. The door suddenly slammed open and Max cowered against the noise.

"Max...Max? Are you alright?" Alec's soothing voice calmed her. She looked up at him and smiled weakly.

"Alec..." she said softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. She shut her eyes and breathed in his scent. Alec swallowed and gently stroked her back.

"It's alright Maxie...I'm here."

"Where is 'here', exactly?" Max's voice came out muffled as she had buried her face in his neck.

"Logan's place," Zack answered from the doorway. Max lifted her eyes to look at him. He gave her a reassuring smile. "How are you?" Max just stared at him, not answering. "Max, I..."

"I need a shower," Max interrupted, detaching herself from Alec and climbing off the bed. "I hope Logan doesn't mind..."

"Nah. He passed out a little bit after you did. Although, probably not for the same reasons," Blake called out to her as she went into the bathroom. Max smirked and turned to face him.

"He okay?" she asked. Blake nodded with a similar smirk. "Good." She shut the door and the three transgenics soon heard the sound of running water. Zack sighed and scratched the back of his neck.

"Is she mad at me?" he asked hesitantly. Alec gave him a look. "Okay, stupid question."

"She's probably not completely pissed at you...but you might have to show more understanding for what she went through, though," Alec replied. Zack exhaled and fell backwards onto the couch, conveniently forgetting that Logan was stretched out. He made a sound of surprise as Logan made a gurgling noise, signaling that he had woken up. Zack got off of him and lightly slapped his cheek. Logan made another incoherent noise. Zack smirked and slapped him again.

"Could you please not do that?" Logan asked groggily. Zack feigned surprise.

"Oh I'm sorry. I hadn't realized you were awake already..." he joked. Logan opened his eyes only to roll them.

"How long have I been out?"

"Few hours," Alec answered. Logan groaned.

"I was supposed to call Asha...By the way...why did I pass out?" The three transgenics exchanged looks.

"We came here with an unconscious Max and you passed out after you found out that she's probably pregnant," Alec explained simply. Logan's eyes immediately shut again and he groaned.

"Now I remember...No wonder I have a headache..." he complained.

"Actually that's probably because when I dragged you over to the couch, I accidently made you crash into a few walls," Blake replied. Logan stared at him, bewildered. "Just a few."

"And who are you, again?" Blake smirked and gave him a small wave.

"Name's Blake. Honorary Transgenic," he joked. Zack and Alec shot him a look. "What?"

Max poked out her head from inside the bathroom. Her hair was wrapped in a bright blue towel and droplets of water still clung to her body.

"You guys wouldn't happen to have got any clothes from my home, did you?" she asked. Alec walked over to a pile of clothes that were laying on a chair. He handed them to Max. "Thanks." Alec cupped her face in his hands and gave her a quick, sweet kiss. When he pulled away, Max was grinning. "And thanks again."

Alec turned back to face the others once Max disappeared behind the door again. He was met with two amused looks and one slightly angry look.

"Lighten up, Logan," Alec said as he flopped down in a sofa chair. Logan scoffed but didn't respond.

A few minutes later, Max stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed and squeaky clean.

"I have to tell you something," she said immediately, addressing the whole room. They all gave her rapt attention. "While I was... 'sleeping' I had a very surreal dream."

"Of what?" Zack asked. Max glanced at him.

"Brin. And...Ben," she replied, carefully gauging his reaction, but he showed none. "At first I was in this...white room with Brin. We exchanged words and she took us into a forest scene."

"Forest scene?" Max nodded and self-consciously brought her hand to her stomach. Alec watched her with concern.

"Where...it was where I killed Ben," Max explained softly. Logan's eyes bugged out of his head again.

"Where you WHAT?" he shrieked. The transgenics winced at the loud noise. Blake hoisted him up and ushered him out of the room.

"Let's take a walk Log-Boy..."

"What else happened?" Zack asked once they had left.Max smirked sarcastically.

"You mean besides watching myself snap the neck of my brother who, very 'ironically', looks like my boyfriend?" Zack didn't respond. "Plenty, as a matter of fact. I talked to him."

"What do you mean?" Alec asked, trying not to look too disturbed about the image of her snapping his clone's neck.

"I mean just what I said. I talked to him. He wants me to be happy, stop feeling guilty about what I did to him. Said I 'saved' him," Max replied. She expected Zack and Alec to give her disbelieving looks, but they didn't.

"What happened next?" Zack asked after she didn't continue. Max bit her lip.

"I was back in the white room with Brin. She told me..." Her breath caught. "She told me...she told me that if the situation with her worsens...I'll...I'll have to kill her..." This time she didn't have to even look at Zack and Alec's physical reaction to know what they were feeling. It radiated off them in waves.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Zack yelled. Max glared at him.

"Yes, Zack. This is my idea of a joke. Pretending I dreamed of two of my most dysfunctional siblings telling me that they didn't or won't mind letting me snap their necks," she growled.

"What did you say?" Alec asked calmly. Max didn't respond. "Max?"

"I said I would." Zack's eyes flared and he picked up one of Logan's lamps, hurling it across the room. It shattered into a million pieces as it hit the wall. Max flinched.

"How the hell could you agree to something like that? She's family! Doesn't that mean anything to you?" he shouted.

"It means more than life itself," Max replied, her voice deathly quiet. Zack scoffed.

"Right. That's why you snapped your brother's neck just so you could save your own hide. Because family means so much to you," he snapped. Max stared at him with a horrified expression. Alec was about to say something in her defense when she suddenly marched forward and landed a harsh right hook to Zack's face. He reeled back and toppled over the couch. Without missing a beat, Max walked forward and grabbed his lapels, lifting him up.

"What would you have done?" Max hissed before throwing him across the room into a wall. "Tell me, big brother. Lecture me about the ways of the law. How killing people is wrong. A sin." She punched him in the face. "Pretend that you haven't killed anyone." She punched him again. "Tell me!" She attempted another punch but he grabbed her fist and twisted it behind her back.

"It was never family," he growled in her ear. Max scowled and elbowed him in the stomach.

"A human life is a human life. There's no gray area. You take a life...you've done wrong," Max replied as she roughly grabbed Zack's hair, pulling his head back. "Just because it wasn't our family doesn't mean it wasn't someone else's. Think about that." She swiftly dropped him but didn't walk away.

"Max..." Alec began softly, slowly making his way towards her. She glanced over at him before she turned back to Zack, who suddenly grabbed her by the throat and held her against the wall. She stared at him in surprise, as did Alec. He quickly tried to get to her but Zack pushed him away.

"So you don't feel any guilt for what you took?" Zack asked. His nose and mouth were bleeding and a single tear had fallen down his cheek.

"Where have you been?" Max choked out. "Of course I do, dumbass." Zack dropped her. She glared at him as she rubbed her throat. "I would give anything for the chance to go back in time and fix what I did, if there had been another way to help Ben. But there wasn't. That's what I finally realized, among other things." She walked over to Alec and helped him up before turning back to Zack. "That's what Brin was trying to tell me. No one is capable of dealing with this if they don't understand. The only way to help Brin...is to be prepared for the worst..." With that said, Max walked out of the room, leaving Zack and Alec to stare after her, debating whether or not to follow her.

A/N-Little more drama than intended...Hope you guys still liked it ;o) Review please!

Angel Of Darkness231-Thanks again ;o) I'll try my best.

Katherine-Thanks ;o) I'm really glad you're enjoying the story.

angelofdarkness78-Thanks ;o) Don't worry, the intense drama is out of the way and in the next chapter they will be much more understanding ;o)

soin2jesse-It was definitely weird for Logan to hear...which was fun writing ;o) Max's baby is fine ;o)

Sequoia-The siblings will be more understanding in the next chapter as the problem with Brin becomes more complicated...hehe.

Doza-Thanks ;o) I'm glad you're liking this story.