pt.31

(CIA Underground)

Vaughn: (rubbing his stomach)

Weiss: What's wrong?

Vaughn: My stomach doesn't feel good. (begins eating Ice Cream with Scooby doo snacks on top)

Weiss: What are you eating? Its like your pregnant or something. (walks off)

Vaughn: (stops eating) Oh no! Sydney! Sydney! (runs over to her)

Sydney: Yeah

Vaughn: The baby is mine! (hugs her) I think I felt it kick (puts her hand on his stomach)

Sydney: Usually when 'it' kicks, you put my hand lower.

Vaughn: I'm with child. We can't have sex. It might hurt the baby. What kind of mother are you? (storms off)

Sydney: What?

(CIA Underground-Meeting Room)

Sloane: Ok everybody, I have a big, big, big announcement to make! Huge! Enormous!

Jack: (smiling) Ok Sloane, you can stop describing me now.

Sloane: (coughs) Irena said I was bigger.

Jack: What was that?

Sloane: Nothing. Anyways, time for the big big news. As you know, I've recently acquired the Austin Powers set on DVD, and..Oh, I just can't wait any longer! I would like to present, my own mini me. (motions towards the side of the room)

Mini me: (enters-looks exactly like Hugh Grant)

Everyone: (looking around)

Vaughn: Cool! I want my own mini me. Hey Weiss, (looks at him for a minute) You wanna be my massive me?

Weiss: (shrugs) Ok.

Sydney: This thing looks nothing like you.

Sloane: Of course it does, it's just a younger version of me but all the features are identical. You have the bulging muscles, the chiseled good looks, the thick hair. It looks just like me!

Jack: Does it speak?

Sloane: It did but it wouldn't shut up during Gilmore Girls last night so I removed its voice box. Anyways Syd, I'm out of Cuban cigars so you'll need to get me some while your picking up some hard drive from some bad guy.

(CIA Underground-later that day)

Vaughn: Hey Weiss, what happened to your face?

Weiss: (his face is black and blue) I tried giving Nadia a love bite.

Vaughn: (his phone rings) Hello.

Sydney: Hey Vaughn. You'll never believe how hard it is to dance the samba in three inch heels.

Vaughn: You'll never believe how hard I am right now thinking about you dancing the samba in three inch heels.

Sydney: How come we never go dancing anymore?

Vaughn: You mean 'horizontal dancing'?

Sydney: No, dancing dancing.

Vaughn: Because you don't ever let me lead.

Sydney: That's because you suck at dancing.

Vaughn: (starts crying)

Sydney: Are you crying?

Vaughn: I'm not crying over what you said, just how you said it. I'm very emotional right now.