RETURN TO THE BLACK PEARL

GORE: You stole my movie!

ME: Actually— [gets slapped by enraged director] Borrowed. Borrowed without permission. But with every intention of giving it back to you.

GORE: But you didn't!

ME: You'll make another one.

GORE: I will.

CAST OF THOUSANDS: A better one.

ME: A better one!

CAST OF THOUSANDS: That one. [points to script of POTC2]

ME: What one? That one?! [pauses] Aye, that one. What say you?

GORE: Aye!

ME: Aye!

CAST OF THOUSANDS: Aye!


Chapter One: A Good Morning, Part Two

He sat bolt upright, his eyes darting wildly around a familiar cabin. Struggling to his feet, he staggered to a basin of water that he splashed onto his face.

A respectful rap on the door made him jump, but it was the voice of his quartermaster rather than that of his former, mutinous first mate's that said, "Ship comin' up on us, Cap'n."

Captain Jack Sparrow shut the door behind him as he stepped out on the deck of the Black Pearl. "That so?" he grunted at Joshamee Gibbs as he gazed at the small merchant vessel on the water.

"Aye, sir," Gibbs responded, unnecessarily. "We goin' to take 'em?"

Jack allowed a feral grin to creep across his face. "That we are," he answered.

The merchant ship hoisted the British flag, and Jack considered his response.

"Captain?" asked Anamaria, the current first mate of the Black Pearl.

"Run up the Jolly Roger," Jack decided. There no point in flying false colors; the Black Pearl's trademark black sails would have given her away eventually anyway.

The pirate flag was raised in an answer to the other ship, who immediately turned around and tried to flee rather than trying to make a stand. "Give chase," Jack ordered. Anamaria nodded her understanding and began shouting instructions to the crew.

The Black Pearl caught the other ship—the white lettering on her sides labeled her as the Duty Free—easily, and the Duty Free surrendered without a fight.

"Get ready to board," Jack called to the crew, half disappointed at how easy it had been. "Take the money and the valuables—and the rum—as well as," he added, a sudden twinkle in his eyes, "anything of military value." But we'll be nice and leave them their stores and water." Jack saw Gibbs shake his head over that, but banished that from his mind. "And try and leave everybody in one piece. Savvy?" He shoved his pistol and cutlass into the sash tied jauntily around his waist, grabbed a line, and prepared to swing aboard the Duty Free.

= = =

The crew of the Duty Free were rounded up and tied to the masts by Gibbs and Cotton while Jack accepted the first mate's meek surrender—it seemed that the captain had died early on the voyage. The parrot perched on Cotton's shoulder flapped its wings and squawked, "X marks the spot! X marks the spot!"

Gibbs looked at Jack and said, "Cotton here says that's all of 'em, Cap'n."

Anamaria led the all of the pirates who weren't still on the Pearl though the Duty Free, taking everything that had value and some that hadn't, but for the most part adhering to Jack's instructions. After combing below deck, they ransacked the captain's quarters, but found little else but a bag of coins minted by various countries and several pieces of jewelry.

The pirates had turned the cabin over before deciding that there was nothing left to turn and opted to leave and take their booty back to the Black Pearl. Anamaria was about to leave as well when something caught her eye.

She walked slowly over near where the captain's desk had been upended and moved aside a drawer that had been pulled out. Anamaria picked up a round, black object approximately the size of her hand, smooth and silky to the touch, with a gentle sheen on it.

Anamaria stared at it for a few seconds, entranced, and rolled it around in her cupped hands. Looking into it was like drowning, falling into a bottomless pool filled with black water that was dark with secrets. It was deep. You could lose yourself in something that deep. Dimly sensing that she had seen this before, she shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs that had suddenly appeared to cloud her memory.

Suddenly, Jack's call to prepare to return to the Black Pearl penetrated her consciousness. Anamaria blinked and hastily shoved what she had been holding into a pocket. Perhaps she would remember it later. She bent to retrieve the cutlass that had somehow slipped out of her hand and hurried out onto the deck of the Duty Free, where Jack was saying to the suffering first mate still tied to the mast, an alcoholic beverage that was unmistakably rum in hand, "I can't thank you enough for your kindness. The gifts were lovely. However, we must be going. My compliments to our host."

The rest of the crew had already abandoned the Duty Free. Anamaria grabbed a line and swung back aboard the Black Pearl.

Jack grabbed one, too, and doffed his trademark three-cornered hat. He gave a mockingly deep, somewhat inebriated-looking bow to the crew of the Duty Free. "Gentlemen," he said to them, "this is a day that you will always remember as the day that you were plundered by Captain Jack Sparrow."


So, any good? If you don't like it, I probably won't write anymore of it. Just kidding, I'm going to keep writing it even if you don't like it. But review anyway, please.