I can't tell if I'm dead,It's another side effect from the curse…or if this is just a nightmare…that I can't wake up from…I beat Lust…I beat Gluttony…I don't think I was injured…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG? "Jay-Ling!"My eyes shot open.I was on my knees on the floor…still at the store… "Explain to me what –"I didn't finish.I sensed other people. "Haruko…"I touched the bandage on her neck. "Don't worry about it!Just a cut."We traded hugs.I stood up…my hood…it fell off…I looked up into the face of Ed,he can get me arrested…just don't blame Haruko.I faced Haru. "C'mon Haruko…we should be going…"She followed me out the door. "Hey Jay-Ling."I turned around. "If your so desperate for food,go home…"I turned my face away from Ed…if I cry,Lolo's training would be useless…Haruko tugged at my aoku's sleeve.I sighed. "I…don't have…a home…or family…just Haruko…"I turned around and smiled. "Just tell me if you need help with anything 'k?I could use some practice."I led the way out. "Hey,where are you staying?"I let Haru reply. "Nowhere.Remember?Reason why we steal food,we're broke,no money to rent a room either."I stopped a few feet away from the door. "Haru-chan,you need to go home.Your parents are probably waiting for you."Al looked at Haruko. "I though you had no-"I shook my head and cut him off. "She does…I don't.She decided to travel with me for a little bit,but her parents want her back home now…she's going to be an aunt."
Haruko's thoughts.
You don't have to tell…besides,it's so boring there…WHY DO I HAVE TO GO?No…wait…they've always needed me to do something…
…end of thought…
"We can't…I'm sorry."I said. "It's useless to go on walking in the dark,especially with Sloth and the other bastards walking around."I looked at Ed.Why'd he have to be so freakin' cute!And hot! …gotta stop thinking like Haru-chan… "Fine…but be expecting something back in return."Ed handed me some money…then an evil smile.Kyyaaahhh! "As long as it's not stolen,only transmutated or earned."Al looked at him. "Brother…isn't that illegal and against the law of alchemy?"Haruko's ears perked up. "Really? I used to do it all the time!"I smacked my forehead.Haru-chan! "We should be going now."We left the Elric brothers in the store and walked to the next place to stay.Haruko stayed behind.We could both feel their stares.
What's gotten into me I can't say…but hopefully not to like someone…or love. Besides…I hate the feeling when I blush.
To focused to hear Haru-chan yelling in back of me…missed the place…Haruko…stay here for the night…I have to clear my head…which is what I'll do once she's asleep.I turned around and let Haru lead.No matter how much of friends we are,we both know we have secrets…we both told each other lies…we both know I don't have much more time to break the curse…and I know I don't want to face it. "We're here."I looked up at Haruko,taller than me by an inch or so,whatever,let's just get the night gone…
Turn out the lights and whisper a prayer,just hope I don't fall asleep.Plead to God for more time.Tonight I go outside for a little bit,clear my thoughts.Let the darkness consume me.
Hope I don't have that nightmare again…those blood-written words…Tick-Tock…hurry up!
Who new one would feel this low,
Yet have so much power at the same time…?
One so full of sorrow,
But never seems to cry…
Why am I so hollow,
So lifeless yet feel so much pain…
I spill my blood tomorrow,
To end my suffering and live once again…
Jay-Ling
That's what I'll do…tomorrow…at 12:00am…I'll leave at 11:00pm,get away from everyone…leave a note for Haru-chan…that's all I have to do…I looked at the clock.10:00pm…HURRY UP! The sooner the better…so easy to die…
Dying is easy,
Living is hard.
Shut up…my mind disagrees…my heart and spirit says yes though…NO! I can't get sidetracked…if I do…I'll only suffer harder…longer than a cut wrist or slit neck…which is easier for me too…I looked at the clock,10:15pm. Guess I should start thinking of what I'm going to write…
Haruko,my younger sister…
I'm sorry…but by now…this minute you're reading it…I'm probably gone…from this country…from this planet…from this dimension…you could say the curse did it…because it did.It pushed me off the edge…I'm sorry…please forgive…it's okay if you don't…I won't forgive myself even.I can't exactly say why I did it…Just take care of yourself 'k?
Tamodachi's forever,
Jay-Ling
I still keep secrets for myself…from Harko…and I lied…I know exactly why I'm going to commit suicide…this whole damn curse…no family…watching them die…I could go on forever…I looked at the clock. 10:45pm. Guess I should steal a knife and be on my way…I looked at the note and put one last thing.
P.S. Say thanks and bye to the Elrics for me.
Thanks
"Seeya Hrauko…just promise me this…you'll stay the way you are when I'm gone…"I whispered.I looked at the clock once more, 10:58pm.Should start walking. I walked out the inn's door and grabbed a piece of shattered glass from the store window and kept walking…no destination…into the darkness…forever…
