A/N: I've been concerned about posting this chapter ever since I began posting the story. I'd always had it in mind that this plot-line would unfold, but I still am worried that people might not like the subject matter. It's not particularly gruesome, there's no violence in the chapter, but I wasn't sure that everyone would like it. The story isn't based around this development but I think that Rosie needs to know what happened. Ah well, hope that you guys don't track me down or even worse, SPAM me!

Chapter 16: And Nothing But the Truth

"Well, I didn't – I don't like the fact that you were a Death Eater," said Rosie reasonably. "But that doesn't mean that-"

"I killed my mother."

There was a stunned silence. Severus was not looking at her but into middle-distance. Rosie had the distinct impression that he wanted to see how she would take the admission.

"You what?"

"Murdered her," he said calmly.

"You-"

"You heard what I said, I have no wish to repeat myself," he said, very calmly, so calm that it was unnatural.

"But – why?" asked Rosie.

"It's complicated," he said. "Tell me that you will listen to the whole thing before making any decisions."

"I'm not promising you anything!" she said slightly hysterically but then she saw his face and forced herself into a calmer state. "I'll try," she said.

Severus pursed his lips and got out of bed. He sat down again on the very edge with his face turned away from Rosie so that all she could see was his fabric covered back.

"I – I don't really know how to begin," he paused for a moment, apparently thinking how to tell the truth and then began. "I was a Death Eater from a young age. I was barely an adult and really had no idea what I was doing. I was led into things and although I agreed readily to them at the time I don't think I really knew what I was doing."

He sighed and then said. "No, that's not true. I knew exactly what I was doing. I just didn't think it would be hard to do," he laughed harshly.

"From the very first time I every had to kill someone I hated it. It was before I'd even seen the poor victim that I felt awful. My heart raced and I thought that I would pass out from the strain. They gave me this poor tortured sod and told me to finish him off.

"I'd killed things before. There used to be flies in my room at home. When I was in there on my own I used to shoot them down imagining every one to be Maximus Snape.

"But to do it to a person. A person who actually understands what is happening, who has already had horrific and unmentionable things done to them – is hard. But nevertheless I killed him. I didn't have to. I could have run from it but I didn't.

"Afterwards I was violently sick. The whole thing made my stomach churn."

He gulped and sighed yet again.

"After a while I couldn't live with myself. I wanted to die but I couldn't kill myself. I wanted to hide but there was nowhere. I was trapped in a sort of nightmare. And above all, like the selfish bastard that I am, I was scared that He would find out about my feelings and do away with me.

"I think that the Dark Lord must have noticed something because I am sure that he ordered this to happen. They captured my mother, I think that it was a test – to see whether I was loyal to him or to my family. The Death Eaters captured my mother and tortured her. They left her but made sure that she wasn't dead. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting at home, doing nothing in particular but wondering where mother was. Then I felt this shooting pain down my arm and realised what it meant. I stood up and gathered my robes and mask-"

"What – your Death Eater mask? You had one?" asked Rosie. She realised, of course, that he must have had one. But someone the thought of him running around, murdering people like some glorified member of the Klu Klux Klan made her feel sick to the stomach.

"We all had them," said Severus heavily. "It was like our uniform. Anyway," he sighed. "I put the robes on and prepared to Apparate but for some reason I stopped and thought to myself. I didn't want to go – more than usual. I felt as though something truly awful was going to happen. Perhaps it was just because my mother was out God knows where, but I think I realised in my subconscious that it was going to be her there that night.

"I Apparated to the meeting point and they told me what I had to do – though I still didn't know exactly who it was I was suppose to kill. I walked into the room where she was being kept and saw her – my mother – on the floor bleeding, dying. She had already been tortured by the others – God, she looked awful. We were in this small room, there were no other Death Eaters there. I took off my mask and she looked at me, such fear and disappointment in her eyes – in me, her son! It made me feel worse than anything else had so far.

"I couldn't torture her or kill her. Who could? The woman who had given me life – the one friend that I had! I told her that I would just give it up, that I would tell them that I couldn't kill her – maybe this would be better if you saw it for yourself."

"How?" asked Rosie, realising that he had stopped with the tale.

"I made a Pensieve," he said. He had turned his body round but he was looking at the mattress and refused to look up.

"All right."

He got up and got his Pensieve from a drawer in his wardrobe. He handed it to her, still gazing at the floor.

"You can look at me you know," Rosie said.

He shook his head, "I don't think I could bare it."

Rosie took the Pensieve from his trembling hands and took it over to the chest of drawers in their room. Taking her wand from the tabletop, she prodded the substance that made up Severus' memories. At once the memories began to swirl round and round, a blur of colour and indistinct shapes. Finally the liquid became still and calm. Rosie gazed into the depths of the bowl and stared hard at the images that were starting to unfold beneath her eyes. She could see a room, as though she were looking down at it from a window in the ceiling. She squinted and saw a woman lying on the ground. She was unmoving and still, this was obviously Edith. Rosie swallowed and looked around the rest of the room; there was nothing – no Severus, no people – nothing.

Rosie prepared to enter his memories but something wouldn't let her. Perhaps, if she tried to forget this it would seem as though it had never happened. She didn't want to go into the Pensieve. She didn't want to see Edith die. She didn't want to see Severus murder her.

"It won't do any good, Rosie," came Severus' voice from behind her, "if you don't go in."

"I don't want to Severus," Rosie replied. "What if I can't forgive you?"

"And you think that you can just pretend this never happened?" he asked softly. "I've been doing that for years and it hasn't worked. You should know."

"I don't want to see you murder, I'll never be able to act like you didn't!" Rosie burst out. Her back was still to him; she didn't want to see his face.

"I know," he said after a while. "But – please," he begged her in a whisper. "Please."

Rosie bent further over the bowl and put her head nearer to the surface of the mysterious substance. She took a deep breath and then let her nose touch the surface of his memories. At once she felt as though she had been thrown headfirst into the basin. She tried to gasp but she couldn't. There was nothing else but her now – Rosie swirling in a mist of misery.

Author's comments:

CicadaInvasion – Thank you so much! (grin) There's a long way to go yet, never fear! Pleased that you're enjoying it!

tab-sempai – Don't worry about it; I'm glad that I was able to clear things up for you. Hope that you're still reading and enjoying…

Yuna Black – Thanks for the review, and I know the limitations of this site and it's viewing capacity; nevertheless it is slightly disheartening. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though – I will keep writing. This is a labour of love, I'm not giving it up!

ButterflyOfLothlorien – I updated as soon as I could! Lol. Thanks for keeping with me!

snip-snippet – You may call me 'Obie', I confess I don't mind such familiarity. Ah, now I don't know that Severus killed someone with a frying pan, per se…only a close family member! Yes, Maximus is an idiot – there will be more to come of him… Oh my goodness, you really have read my friend's mind – she wants me to write a side fiction about Alina and Remus. Are you sure you're not the same person? Lol. Thanks for the review, and the side note to potential reviewers!