Disclaimer: See first Chapter.

Summary: See first Chapter.

Balrog: This story does not belong to Celebwen Telcontar in any way, shape, or form.

Estelgaladwen: Stop being an idiot, Bally. The story belongs to Celebwen, but the characters don't. Even you don't belong to her. I do, though!

Balrog: Bursts into tears, creating a hissing sound and filling the room with steam. But (sob) I (sob) want (sniffle, hiss) to be with (sob, hiss, sniffle, Balrog blows nose and burns up tissue.)

Estelgaladwen: There, there, Bally. Is it really that bad belonging to Tolkien?

Balrog: Garr... Don't call me Bally, Essy!

Estelgaladwen: Don't make me use this!!! (Holds up bucket of water. Balrog runs away, whimpering and hissing.)

Just a reminder, but Harry=Actaeon, Ron=Tithonus, and Hermione Granger=Kilissa. The Hermione referred to in the fanfic is Hermione, the daughter of King Menelaus and Queen Helen of Sparta.

"..."=Greek :...:=English

Okay, everyone! It's Celebwen again! Stupid fireball. Well, to the story!
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When they stopped traveling, and pocketed the book that had served as a protkey, they immediately noticed something amiss. They were supposed to be on Ithaca, a tiny Grecian island, but, instead of cars, vespas, and people in modern attire, there were horses, chariots, and the men wore strange dress-like garments. Some carried bows and arrows, others spears, and almost every man had a sword. A girl of about three dashed down the street. "Hermione!" an absolutely radiant woman called. The girl stopped and looked back. The beautiful blond woman had a swollen midsection, signaling pregnancy. "Hermione, get back here!"
"Mother, there are some funny people here!" the girl cried. Hermione
Granger cursed softly, and transfigured their clothes to be more like the commoners. "Harry, you are now Actaeon. Remember your name! Ron, you're Tithonus. We're visitors from... oh, let's see..."
"London?" Tithonus asked.
"No, because then the royalty will want to know where London is..."
"England, obviously!" Actaeon hissed. "Actaeon, take off your glasses." Hermione, now Kilissa, pointed her wand at Actaeon's face, and muttered some words. Actaeon's vision cleared, and his eyes grew to a brown color. His hair was flat, and longer than it had been. Tithonus looked very similar. "By Zeus, why are you such a troublemaker?" the woman cried. "We have to get to Odysseus's palace for supper! Oh, Eilithyia, why now? Hermione, it's time! Come quickly! Oh, help." Tithonus, Actaeon and Kilissa ran to help the woman, Kilissa carrying the girl. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, ma'am. I'm Kilissa, and these are Actaeon and Tithonus."
"I'm Helen, and she's Hermione."
"Of Sparta?!"
"The same. Oohhhwww! Penelope! Help!" A younger woman grabbed Queen Helen of Sparta's arm, and led her over to a birthing couch. The young girl tried to get down.
"If you could keep Hermione occupied, it would be a great help. Thank you for bringing Helen here and watching over Hermione," the elder woman, Penelope, said. Kilissa nodded, and went into a back room.
Harry, Ron, she said, being careful to use English. We've been speaking Greek this whole time. We're on Ithaca, and at the palace of King Odysseus and Queen Penelope. This is three years before the Trojan war, because of the fact that Helen had a three year old son name Nicostratus when Paris kidnapped her. I believe that, right now, Nicostratus is being born. Telemachus is not born yet, because he was an infant in that time.
"Okay," Actaeon said, speaking Greek by accident.
Harry, I mean Actaeon, English!
Alright! Actaeon cried. Why did you change our names?
I changed them, my dear friend Actaeon, because 'Harry' and 'Ron' are not names in this day, age, or place! And if I had remained Hermione, then it would be too confusing with Princess Hermione of Sparta!
So, my name is Actaeon, but what's your name, and Ron's?
Ron's name is Tithonus, and mine is Kilissa. Right now, we're in the time of Hector the Horse-Tamer, and Achilles!
Hector what and Ach-who?
Hector the Horse-Tamer, the Crown Prince of Troy, or as people here call it, Ilion. He's the son of King Priam, and Achilles is the greatest hero since Heracles!
Who's Heracles?
You idiot! Hercules!
By now, the Princess of Sparta was looking at them strangely.
Oh great Merlin! We're in the Stone Age—
Classical, Ron!
Okay, Classical! Anyways, we're back in time, on Crete—
Ithaca, Ron!
Okay, Ithaca! But Harry still has to kill Tom, and we're here now. How are we going to help the Wizarding World?
Probably by learning new battle skills. How many Death Eaters would be expecting us to throw a spear at them?
Uhhh...Maybe Wormtail...But he's crazy...
"Hermione, do you want to play a game?" Actaeon asked. Kilissa looked at him as if he had gone mad.
"Yes, knucklebones!" the girl cried, bringing over the game.
Actaeon, what in Zeus' name are you doing? Kilissa asked.
Playing with Hermione.
"Augghhh! Menelaus!" Helen screamed.
"Push, Helen!" Penelope called.
"Auuuggggghhhhh!"
"Listen to Penelope, love!"
"Father!" Hermione cried.
"Hermione, stay here!" Tithonus said.
"Push, Helen! I see the head! Push!"
"Auuuggggghhhhh! Eilithyia, Zeus, Athena, help!" the woman in labor cried. "Menelaus!" There was a sudden baby's squall.
"Helen, it's a boy! We have a son!" a man's voice cried, joyfully. "Helen, how do you like the name Nicostratus?"
"A good, strong name," Helen whispered, worn out from the labor.
"Should I go and get Hermione?" Penelope asked.
"Yes. That would be appropriate." Penelope appeared, and asked for Hermione.
"Thank you, Kilissa, Actaeon, Tithonus."
"Hermione was a joy to watch," Actaeon said, meaning it. "We should be going now. Thank you for your hospitality, Your Majesty."
"Nonsense. You can stay here as guests, for your help. I'm sure Odysseus wouldn't mind. Come. I'll have a slave set up rooms for you." Actaeon nodded graciously, thanking his host.
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Okay. No cliffhanger this time. Next chapter up soon! In point of fact, I'll give you a teaser!

"Damn!" Odysseus roared, slamming his fist into the table, and startling Telemachus into tears. "I knew those damn Trojans were bad news, especially that rat, Paris! Now he's gone and kidnapped Helen and Nicostratus!"
"Odysseus, what are you going to do?"
"Pretend I'm mad. I'm not going to leave you and Telemachus alone, while I go off to war with Troy! I may never come back!"
"I'll go in your stead," Actaeon said, in a very firm voice. Tithonus backed him up, and Kilissa looked resigned to being left behind.
"Thank you two. You've proven your worth as friends thousands of times over in the past three years," Odysseus said.
"Is there anything we can do now?" Actaeon asked.
"Hitch up the donkey and one of the oxen to the plough. I'll take it down the beach, with some salt."
"What? Sowing the beach with salt? Agamemnon and Menelaus will know that you are mad!" Tithonus laughed. He ran to do as he was bidden, while Actaeon conjured armor and war gear for himself and Tithonus.

Will Tithonus and Actaeon return alive? Will they EVER return to their proper time? What will happen to Kilissa while Tithonus and Actaeon are at war? You'll just have to wait, until the next chapter! Muahahahaha!

Balrog: Oh? Well, maybe I'll just take my flames and Flame you!

Celebwen Telcontar: Holds bucket of water threateningly. Balrog cowers and flees. Estelgaladwen pouts, and runs after the Balrog.

Okay, people! Review to keep away the nasty balrog! If you do, I'll give you a piece of cyber mutton! Wait, more like cyber-pizza. Forget the mutton. Or maybe I'll give you cyber-cookies or chocolate. Whatever.