Finding Yourself - A Bosco/Cruz fanfic

Chapter 1 : Why Me?

Cruz walked out of the building, shaking. To anyone else on the street she may have appeared normal, but something was wrong, her hair was rumpled and her dress

had a small tear in the side, her eyes were stoney as she walked to where Sasha Monroe had parked. She had been raped. She felt disgusting, his filth was all over her,

Thomas Warner's. She reached for the door and her hands fumbled with the doorknob as she tried to get it open. She slid in beside Sasha who gave her a concerned look

"Hey Cruz you ok?" Cruz turned her head brusquely and didn't reply. She felt sick, disgusted and used. She could feel the bile rising in her throat and she whispered "Sasha,

pull over" Sasha looked at her "What?" Cruz turned with tears in her eyes "Pull over, Sasha" she said in desperation. Sasha quickly turned the car to the side of the road.

Cruz threw open the door and heaved, empying her stomach. As she bent over, Sasha saw bruises on the back of her neck and arms. What happened to her? Suddenly she

realised what was going on. As Cruz pulled herself back into the car, Sasha handed Cruz a bottled water but didn't say anything. Cruz took it gratefully and sat back on the

seat, holding the vigilent tears back. "Sasha, can you just take me home please?" She said quietly. Sasha nodded "Of course, I'll tell Lieu when I get back to the Precinct."

Cruz turned her head again to stare out the window. When they pulled up at her apartement Cruz stood up and walked stiffly to the door, she nearly dropped the key as her

shaking hands pulled it out. She didn't notice Sasha follow her up as she walked up the stairs. She turned on the shower, wanting to escape, but not knowing how. She stood

in front of the mirror, looking at herself, but not recognizing who it was, this wasn't her, she didn't show weakness, ever. Just then sasha appeared in the doorway "Cruz, If you

take that showere we're never going to be able to catch this guy, get dressed, we're going to the hospital to get a rape kit done." Cruz just stared. How had she known, How

had she figured out I was raped? Cruz turned, fear in her eyes, to face Sasha. "It's alright I'll go with you" Cruz immediatley retaliated "I don't need you to go I can take care of

myself" Sasha shook her head "No, I'm not letting you win, you need someone, and I'm taking you to the hospital, go get dressed" Cruz finally gave in and went to get

dressed. As she pulled on her sweatchirt and sweatpants she was careful not to look into the mirror, not ready to see what the rest of her body looked like. When she had

finished she went out and followed Sasha to the car. Sasha drove quickly to Mercy, feeling a bit uncomfortable as they sat in silence. Finally when the got to the hospital Cruz

got out and followed Sasha slowly into the ER. When they got there, Mary, the nurse, ushered them into exam room 1 and said that Dr. Nims would be with them soon.

Cruz nodded then quickly changed into a hospital gown, being careful not to touch her ribs, wich were still aching. When the doctor came in she did the exam, pronouncing

that Cruz had several bruised ribs, from when Warner had punched her, and some other minor bruises on her neck and arms. Cruz looked down at the floor then muttered

something uncomprehensible. The doctor turned to her "Sorry, what was that?" Cruz spoke again, in barely a whisper "I..I'm going to need...a rape kit" The doctor looked

up from her clipboard and sympathetically nodded "Alright, I'll be right back." Sasha went up to cruz "Hey, I'm going to wait out in the lobby for you" Cruz Turned then said

"Bye" Sasha rolled her eyes "Look I'm not leaving you, I'm taking you home" Cruz nodded and turned the other way as the doctor came in again. Sasha left quietly and

went to sit and wait for Cruz. 10 minutes later she came out pulling her coat back on. Sasha caught up with her and as they went out to the car Cruz turned to face her

"Ever since the academy I was on my game. They wanted 25 push-ups, I gave 'em 50. At the range they wanted a score of 80, I got 98. When I couldn't climb over that

wall I built one. I put one of those in my backyard so that I could practice, I should've fought harder Sasha!" Sasha turned abruptly to face her "Listen to me Cruz! This was

not, I repeat not you're fault!" Cruz turned to get in the car, thinking about what Sasha said, but still believing she could have done more. "Tommorow I'm going out again,

I'm going to get Warner" "Fine" Sasha said "I'm going with you" Cruz coldly said "Sasha I don't recall inviting you" but she wouldn't back down "Fine meet me at the

precinct at ten tommorow" Sasha nodded and Cruz left to go to her appartement. As she turned on the shower again, she pulled off her pants and top and finally took a

good look at herself, a sob caught in her throught, her chest was covered with black and blue bruises, and it..it hurt to breathe. She climbed into the shower but sat down in

the corner, allowing herself some relief, allowing herself to cry/