Author Note: Back on track...I think. Silent Thrills is back and I have a craving for chips from the chip shop.
Disclaimer:- I don't own Silent Hill and thank the lord I don't own Gordon Brown.
The plan is simple; go to the lighthouse and stop Alessa. A normal person will be able to go to lighthouse easily and may not be successful in stopping Alessa. Harry on the other hand is not a normal person. Well he is a normal with a below average IQ. For a change his below average IQ is not the cause of the current problem. In fact the problem right now is the Humping Apes and the Big Birds. To make things worse Satan has decided that he would rather stay on the boat then go to the lighthouse. For the simple reason our favourite cat has a fear of water and Dahlia Gillespie.
Harry is currently armed with the shotgun. Thanks to Satan killing all the monsters since arriving in the Resort Area, Harry has plenty ammunition to open his own gun shop and never run out of supplies.
Harry cautiously walks towards the lighthouse every so often killing an ape or bird. In the distance he can see the lighthouse. That and a circle of Humping Apes doing something quite odd. They seem to be worshipping something. Their usual puffing and panting coming out in a chant like way. Their chanting starts to speed up and soon becomes nothing more then loud, excited puffing and panting. The Humping Apes begin to hump each other in their excitement. Soon they collapse to the ground in a heap. All with what would be content smiles on their deformed faces.
In the middle of the heap, Harry can see what they were worshipping. Something so evil it makes evil look good. Something so evil it makes Dahlia Gillespie look attractive. Something so evil it would make Walter Sullivan shudder with fear. Something so evil that it would make Satan the Devil drool with jealousy.
It is a picture of the evil git Gordon Brown.
Harry using both his brain cells decides to take this opportunity to sneak past the Humping Apes. He slowly passes them, averting his eyes from the evil picture of doom. Harry gets passed the apes that are still quite happy in their heap. Feeling confident that the Humping Apes are in bliss, Harry raises his shotgun in their direction. He fires six shots at the Happy Humping Apes, all of which miss. The once Happy Humping Apes are now Angry Humping Apes. The Humping Apes, now thirsty for blood, chase Harry.
If angering blood thirsty creatures was an Olympic sport, Harry would get the gold medal. Harry runs along the pier with a herd of Humping Apes not too far behind. The Big Birds and dogs, which have suddenly appeared, just watch in amazement. Harry runs up some stairs, the apes still in pursuit. Ahead he can see the lighthouse. While running, Harry turns and gives the apes the one finger salute, then bashes into the side of the lighthouse. Slightly dazed Harry runs up the steps of the lighthouse and enters. He slams the door and hears the apes crash into the door. Harry sighs with relief and notices the notepad.
Crazy Humping Apes from Hell.
Cecil went to the Amusment Park.
I get ataked by Humping Apes.
Harry Mason
After signing the note Harry begins climbing the staircase inside the lighthouse. He eventually reaches the top. It took him two hours to get to the top of the lighthouse but he got there. He did fall down the stairs at one point. He also accidentally get himself turned around and ended up walking back to the notepad. The important thing is he made it to the top.
Now that he is at the top he can not help but notice there is something not quite right. Sure the top of the lighthouse has vanished, there are two aliens and a giant Seal of Sameal has been carved into the surface but there was still something not quite right. Then Harry spotted Alessa. Excited Harry approaches Alessa. She sees him and then disappears.
"Damn you little bitch. I just wanted to ask a question." Harry curses at the spot Alessa was and shakes his fist. The aliens walk over to Harry. "My name is Gonatelo and this is my lover Apuil." Gonatelo tells Harry, Apuil waves shyly. "We would like you to.." Harry cuts Gonatelo off. "Tell me have you seen a little girl? Short, black hair. Just turned 72 last month." Gonatelo and Apuil look at each other then shrug.
Harry looks at his feet in disappointment. He turns around so he can head back down the stairs. Instead he falls over the edge. Gonatelo and Apuil look over the edge and see Harry unconscious. "Are you sure he could rule our planet?" Apuil asks. Gonatelo shakes his head. "I guess we should go with that James Sunderland fellow."
At the bottom of the lighthouse a skinless dog sniff at Harry. The dog turns around and urinates in Harry's face.
Meanwhile In The Sewers
Finding that she could not get to the amusement park by Sanford Street, Cybil decided to take the sewers. Since entering the sewers she has discovered a strange creature. The thought that crossed Cybil's mind was that it was in fact a mutated frog.
The only explanation for the strange creatures is someone had dumped toxic waste into the sewers, which mutated the frogs. This certainly made Cybil proud. Cybil has already decided that the person distributing the drugs must be responsible. In her mind she already has the person charged with distributing illegal substances, kidnapping, destroying public property and dumping toxic waste. Now she wants to catch one of the mutant frogs to use as evidence.
Just ahead she sees two mutant frogs go around the corner. Deciding this was her chance to catch one Cybil follows. She gets her gun ready to shot one of the two and approaches the corner. She looks around the corner, aims and shoots one of the mutant frogs in the butt. The other frog runs away as the injured one screams in pain. Cybil starts walking towards and shoots it once more, killing it.
"My sweet evidence." Cybil shouts gleefully as the mutant frog. "You're going to boost my career." She puts her gun in the holster and grabs the mutant by one of its legs. Humming happily to herself, Cybil drags the frog on the sewers floor while trying to find the exit. She soon comes to another corner when....
Back At The Lighthouse
Harry sits up and the first thing he notices is that his face is wet. The next thing he notices is that he smells. "What the hell?" Harry mumbles as he stands up. A man falls from the sky and lands in front of Harry. "That's my line." The man says as he is standing up.
Harry leaves the man from the sky and starts walking along the pier. As he reaches the steps Harry is somehow transported back to the boat. Without giving it a second though Harry enters the boats just as Satan wakes up. Satan stretches and then takes his usual position on Harry's shoulder. "Satan, where is Cecil?" The only answer Harry gets is a purr.
"To the amusement park."
Another Note: Yeah...has anyone noticed that I've been spelling Kaufmann's name wrong for the entire story?
