Lar-ton's A/N: Firstly, we need to explain something in the previous chapter...as a good friend of ours said 'How does Lister know Rimmer if Rimmer was meant to be on Red Dwarf?' We then told this person to stop being so bloody picky...but we now realised we did leave out a little bit of an explanation. So here it is: in this universe everyone is having a good life...Lister is a rock star and Rimmer didn't go on Red Dwarf and didn't become the neurotic, jumped up smeghead we all know and love. In this universe he left Io and become a nice, well rounded person of society with little or no hang ups and enjoys getting it on with Sian...there, done! 'Thank you's are due to Smegginitlarge, cos she's been a big help and a diligent reviewer and also Feline Ranger...for proving that it wasn't just one person reading...thank you thank you!
There was a stunned silence among the crowd of the concert, which gradually turned into quiet murmurs and finally full on shouting.
Jerry grimaced, "don't' worry" he reassured "they'll be back any second!" he look expectantly towards the side of the stage, tapping his hands on his PVC clad thighs nervously.
They didn't come back any second.
They didn't come back any minute either.
In fact, they didn't come back at all; Paul had taken his car and was currently driving Lister to the hospital where Eerin had been taken, Bob had tagged along for support. This left Jerry alone with a stadium full of rock fans who were pretty peeved that they'd paid to see 3 digit number but we're stuck with some overweight freak with a fetish for too-tight cat suits and sexual toys.
Jerry began to sweat as millions of pairs of eyes glared at him; he gave a nervous laugh but wished he hadn't as it echoed about the walls and emphasized the uneasy silence.
What could he do?
Suddenly an idea struck him, "are you all ready for this!" he yelled, he then began to break dance.
"Yeah" he shouted, as he spun round. "That's what I'm talking about!"
The crowd exchanged un-amused looks; it wouldn't have been so bad if the break dancing had been half decent, Jerry's break dancing could only be described as the equivalent a jelly man mould having a epileptic fit, he wobbled about and flung his limbs left and right, nodding, smiling and winking at the crowd.
Just when the concert goers thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, Jerry dropped to the floor and did the 'worm', well he tried to but he ended up giving himself a wedge as the PVC stuck to the floor.
He clambered to his feet, and heaved a sigh, he then had another idea. He took a few steps back and ran towards the edge of the stage, flailing his arms wildly, screaming at the top of his lungs before throwing himself off the stage.
The crowd parted and Jerry sailed through the air and landed with a painful, bone bashing, skin bruisingthud on the floor. The crowd dispersed and made their way out of the stadium.
"A little help here?" muttered Jerry, face down on the concrete floor "hello?"
Nurse Reynolds yawned and scratched her head. It was coming to the end of her shift and it was at this point that boredom and fatigue really took their toll.
She was vaguely aware of the sound of hurried footsteps on the squeaky clean floors and a shadow being cast on her paperwork.
"I need to see Eerin Reilly, she was brought in here, she' s been in a car crash." came a breathless and fretful voice from behind her desk,
She heaved a sigh and rolled her eyes upward to deal with, most probably, her last case of the day.
Her eyes met Lister's, and she halted her sentence, she was vaguely aware her tongue was hanging out but did nothing about it.
Lister leant on the desk for support "Listen, you can either help me or sit there and drool and I'll go find a nurse who can take me to my girlfriend" he said icily.
Nurse Reynolds mentally shook herself out of her trance and leapt off her chair "I can allow you to see her but…well we've not had chance to clean her up yet" she paused "She was in rather a bad way when she arrived, her condition is severe but stable."
Lister felt like his legs would give way from beneath him, but he somehow he mustered the strength to stay upright; he shakily followed Nurse Reynolds down a corridor.
She stopped at a door and gave Lister a concerned look "I'll understand if you want to put off seeing her in this state, it can be quite distressing"
Lister shook his head "no" he whispered "I want to see her as soon as possible…"
Nurse Reynolds nodded understandingly before gently pushing open the door and allowing Lister to enter.
She looked almost peaceful lying on the hospital bed, connected to a drip and various other medical paraphernalia; Lister tentatively took a few steps towards her.
He felt his eyes sting with tears as he saw how vulnerable she looked. Her arms were bruised black and blue, there were cuts and gashes across the delicate features of her face and they'd cut away some of her hair to stitch an injury to her head.
"She'll go mad at that," laughed Lister sadly, "her hairs her best feature…she'll not thank you for ruining it"
Nurse Reynolds gave a half smile, "the doctor will be along soon, you can stay here for now."
Lister nodded and turned his attention back to Eerin.
He gently took hold of her hand, taking care to avoid the hypodermic needle, and stroked it with his thumb.
He allowed his eyes to wander across her frail body, making a mental note of her injuries; it was then he noticed a dark fairly large bruise on her wrist. He gently turned it over to see that it wasn't a bruise but a tattoo.
Freshly done, as blood was still outlined it's design. He couldn't help smiling as he read what it said. 'Dave' was written in black gothic lettering inside a gray love heart.
Lister stroked her wrist dreamily, as her eyelids fluttered open, "Dave?" her voice cracked, her eyes squinted but a tiny smile was evident on her lips.
Lister sat bolt upright, "Eerin" he said quickly, "It's okay, i'm here!"
Eerin giggled, "I see that"
"I do not believe you" teased Lister "you've been involved in a car crash and you still manage to be sarcastic...that's gotta be a skill!"
Eerin squeezed Lister's hand tightly, "i'm glad you were here when I woke up- what time is it?"
Lister quickly glanced at his watch "nearly 1" he sighed "I was so worried...Jerry's probably gonna kill me, but I don't really give a fuck…"
"You left the concert!"Eerin squeaked in disbelief
"You were more important," said Lister "I love you Eerin...and when it came to choosing between you and a crappy concert, you came top and I didn't even have to think about it!"
"But! The Fans! The Money- your... I..." she blushed, "I Lov...I got a new tattoo," she muttered tilting her head towards her wrist
"Yeah, I noticed. I haven't shown you mine have I?" Eerin shook her head, looking intrigued
Lister grinned, "I doubt the hospital staff would appreciate me stripping off"
Eerin's eyes widened, "Ooohh where is it? Don't be a spoil sport!" she persisted hopefully.
Lister checked to see no one was looking, before hastily unbuttoning his shirt; he turned round and lowered it enough for Eerin to see. He smiled as he heard her gasp.
His tattoo was of an angel, spread across most of his back. She had dark black hair and mischievous green eyes and lips the colour of blood. A pair of feathery silver wings folded spread wide across his shoulder blades.
"Is it supposed to be me?" Eerin asked excitedly
Lister grinned, "No, I just happen to have a fetish for dark haired, gorgeous eyed girls…"
Eerin looked almost heartbroken; making Lister smile "course its you" he said softly "you're my guardian angel, always watching my back…literally!"
Eerin suddenly went very quiet, her eyes widened in horror, Lister followed her gaze and let out a loud groan when he saw Jerry.
He'd thankfully changed from his Rocky Horror show type outfit into something marginally better, his bottle green suit with his favorite lilac silk shirt. For some reason, unbeknownst to Lister, his face was bruised and had a slightly squashed look about it.
"You are-" started Jerry but he stopped and gave a high-pitched wail as he saw Lister's tattoo. Before he knew what was happening Lister was grabbed by the arm, spun round at an amazing speed and his shirt torn from his grasp.
Jerry's scream increased considerably in pitch as he saw the full extent of the tattoo, "Tell me it's a transfer," he wailed, before licking his striped tie and scrubbing at Lister's tattoo hoping it's come off.
It didn't.
"How dare you" yelled Jerry, giving up his attempt to remove the tattoo.
"How dare I what?" snapped Lister, franticly tugging his shirt back on,
"How dare you get a tattoo...WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!"
Lister froze long enough to shoot Jerry a venomous glare "I think we need to get something straight...you are only my manager, not my owner!"
"Don't forget Lister" said Jerry slowly and forcefully "It was ME who got you where you are today, It was ME who got you countless record deals, concert tours, endorsement deals, chat shows, fan clubs, groupies. It was me who made you into the success you are today...and now you're willing to throw that all away for some girl" he spat, waving his hand at Eerin, who shrank away.
"Eerin is not just some girl," retorted Lister taking a step towards Jerry "she is the girl I love...the girl I intend to marry…"
It was at that point Eerin's ears pricked up...granted it weren't the engagement she'd dreamt of...but it was sweet enough. Her smile a mile wide, she settled back onto the hospital pillows and watched Jerry get a good talking to.
"She means more to me than anything."
Jerry rolled his eyes and tutted "D'you have to be so cliché?"
Lister frowned slightly "yeah..." he then punched Jerry square on the chin, sending him reeling backwards into a chair.
Eerin clapped and whooped with delight as Jerry dragged himself upright "I think you broke my jaw" he groaned, hand placed firmly on his aching chin.
"Well, you're in the right place to get it sorted out aren't you?" smiled Lister, "oh and by the way...you're fired"
"F-fired" repeated Jerry, flabbergasted "but...but...you...I!"
"Bye" said Lister, gently pushing him out the door
"Sod the morphine that's made me feel so much better" grinned Eerin.
